All Chick No **** Adventure 07/17-07/22

All Chick No **** Adventure 07/17-07/22 - Report Included!

Hey Everyone,

I can't write the full Trip Report now - like Landa, I'm truly knackered, had to attend the first of two weddings, still not accustomed to EST or humidity and now we have out of town guests for the next two weeks...I promise to provide a photo journey of our drunken debauchery....it was even better than the first time!

Just a few things, before I get to the juicy stuff:

Flight: Air Canada - no probs, very quick direct flight. However, you would think for a four hour flight you would get some sort of food. Oh yes - $7 sandwiches! Since when the hell did you have to pay for anything on Air Canada?! No wonder the airline is in the shits, especially when Celine Dion is your spokesperson!

Food: I figure I'd put a semi-proper review of the places we went to (Bellagio buffet, Olives, Fix, N9NE, MB Burger Bar, Rosemary's, Peppermill) in the Restaurant forum. Needless to say, Rosemary's is the BEST DAMN restaurant in Vegas, if not one of the best I've ever been to!!

Gambling: Wow, this girl actually won some cash! Was very, very drunk at the Hard Rock, got bored with some dude chewing my ear off so I drag Sheryl to the roulette table, asked her what her number was and BAM - I was up $200 on my one and only bet. The way my gals screamed you think they were having multiple orgasms! Tipped the dealer $25, he was very amused by my win and kept begging me back to the table......but aha, I was not so drunk not to lose my bucks again!

Also went to the Palms, tried the Wheel of Fortune machine and won $25 off $1. Damn, those machines are bloody addictive, I don't know if I can resist the next time around.

Funniest Thing I've Seen in Vegas: Some drunk gal playing craps at the Hard Rock. Was surprised she was on the table, she could hardly stand. She went to roll, before doing so sang out loud "Roll Baby Roll" - badly enough that Jim was rolling in his grave. And roll she did - over to the next table! Sheryl and I laughed a proper five minutes straight.....

Other things:

-A Frisky Terry
-Ass Juice and Diana Ross at the Double Down
-Sheryl doing "Gwen Stefani" in front of a thousand people
-Aussie guys grabbing us into cabs
-Making Friendly with Hookers
-An almost encounter with Cris Judd, J Ho's hubby Numero Two
-Taking over the whole of the Golden Gate
-Sheryl and I making out at the Barbary Coast at 5am after $1 drinks
-I came back with cash and NOTHING on the credit card, the Hubby is thrilled!

Here's a teaser pic:

 

A frisky Terry?

This I have to hear!!! And something about Multiple O's??? After that I kinda lost my train of thought...

 

Why do you women insist upon brushing over these comments???

"I vaguely remember making out with Holly and Cari."

"Taxi driver: Cause she is all over your tits"
"Me: Yeah I know she loves them, and they love her"

damn damn.

 

They are teasers and they use them because they work.... .

 

Hey, I'm a woman, and I don't like these teasers either!!

There'd better be some trip reports by Wednesday night, that's all I can say!

 

OK here goes. I'll share a few photos along the way:

I had a five night stay at THEhotel at Mandalay Bay – one night by myself, the other four with the Golden Gals: Rene (Rose) from Columbus, Sheryl (Blanche) and her Mamma Sharon (Sophia) from NashVegas. Somewhere along the trip Sharon started referring us to the Sex and the City gals, with myself as Miranda (cynical red head), and R as romantic Charlotte, Sheryl as seductive Samantha and Sharon as Carrie, with her own Mr. Big at home. Either way, our personas were more the compatible – some would say combustible.

Sunday:
Arrived after noonish starved and a bit dehydrated. Luggage right out – Air Canada may suck at feeding Canadians, but they sure know how to get me the hell out of the airport! Instructed the cab driver to Vons for a case of water – punk guy in the line-up next to me gave thumbs up to my hair. Next stop was In N Out for a Double Double. The cab driver said the Maryland Parkland wasn’t as good as the others – totally wrong as it was delicious, or maybe it was because I’ve been deprived since March.

Arrived at THEhotel and bell boy remembered me as the “In N Out†chick from last time – I seemed to always have a bag in my hand. Checked in with a very helpful desk clerk, asked for my fave suite. Not available but she knew I wanted that exact Strip view so she put me a couple of floors down, same number. Asked about a fridge – told me to move crap out of the current mini-bar and put my water in. In hindsight I should have tipped her, but I was too busy stuffing my face with my fries.

Suite was sweet, per usual. However I do have one complaint – the pillows suck. You can tell they haven’t changed them since the place opened up two years ago. They keep their squishy form like Dolly Parton’s jugs. Got unpacked and secured my space in anticipation for knickers and compacts being thrown around the room the next day. Put fake tanning cream on and realized that I can’t get dressed for a while – so I walked around starkers, jumped on the bed and enjoyed the freedom knowing I could look at the Strip towers, knowing that no one could see mine!

But I cannot recommend these rooms enough particularly for a bunch of gals. The two bathrooms were a god send – the two sinks in the main bathroom absolutely necessary. I don’t think we had any problems sharing.

Got picked up mid-afternoon by Papillon for my helicopter ride to the Grand Canyon. Staff was very nice, was put in a chopper with two older NYC couples, who were a little pissed that I got the front seat. Didn’t realize how close we actually were to the Canyon – literally just over a few of the Lake Mead basins and you are there. I see from a local map that you actually have to drive around the whole darn thing to see it, so no wonder it’s six hour drive. About a 35 minute flight time all in all. I’m a tad afraid of heights, but except for the pilot stabilizing us, it wasn’t too bad. Need I say the views were spectacular? Thought the pilot would say more, but was glad for some quiet too. It was hot as hell – even with the air on. The hottest I’ve been the whole trip. Flew right along the Colorado River and landed by a picnic area. Gave us “champagne†and took a few great photos. Back in, and complete silence while we admired the view back.

Later on got changed into a one piece for the pool. Suddenly brought back to earth as I watched kids swarm the wave pool. Took one spin around the lazy river and had enough – it was full of grass and sand. Ick. Went to one of the smaller pools and fell directly on my ass in front of half of MB – only my pride was hurt, but I was amazed at how many people came to my assistance. To flee the crowd I went to the empty south lagoon pool and chilled for an hour.

Got gussied up and headed to the Bellagio. On my way down met two lovely gals from Dallas who wanted to eat with me. Problem was they wanted the buffet while I wanted a quick sit down meal – I was seeing “O†and only had an hour, the buffet had a line-up. We parted ways and I headed to Olives. A great bus boy grabbed me a seat at the bar and took care of for the next hour. I’ll review the restaurants I mention in the Restaurant forum.

The only way I would describe “O†is to say it’s like watching Bjork at the Olympics. Lots of avante garde costumes, some lovely singing and great athleticism. It was stunning and I know there was a storyline there but there was too much to absorb for me to notice. The way they move that pool around (and I know there was a pool before I even sat down – smelled the chlorine behind the curtain) was a technological feat. And it’s nice to know that our synchronized swimming, driving and gymnastic teams have life after the Olympics! Definitely worth the money I paid.

During the show I was receiving texts from Terry to come and meet him at the MB poker room. That I did and sat in a chair next to him, along with some rowdy drunk ladies celebrating a gal’s 40th. Terry has a great sense of fun – he was pretty sauced and highly amusing. There was no way I was going to play with my gambling skills, so I watched as these wicked women screwed Terry on the table every way possible – it was hysterical and he took it in good stride. The gals shared some of their cocktails – and I choked on them. Even for this lush, a cocktail that was 90% vodka was hard to swallow. Terry was getting a bit fresh with me and tried to convince to join him for blackjack at the Luxor – it was closing 2am and I had to put up early to await the ladies, so I resisted and bid him goodnight!

 

Monday:
Up early with EST beckoning and just as I finished doing my hair in walks in Sharon and Sheryl, all giddy and fresh and raring to go. Was thrilled to finally met the elder Sheryl-look-alike, and was as charmed as I was by her daughter. Except for their age difference, you couldn’t tell those two apart – she has a zest for life equal to her girl’s. Walked around MB till Rene’s flight was supposed to be in and we waited. And waited. Two hours later, no word. We planned on the Bellagio buffet for lunch and it was nearing mid-afternoon. Would we be bad friends to abandon our Vegas Virgin to get some chow? The decision was made and we hopped in a cab and left a message for Rene to meet us at the Bellagio. I don’t think I’ve ever been so hungry – with beverages and no food since yesterday, my colon was ready! Sheryl was so hungry she had two plates of sushi at her table within the minute. The food was divine and so was our full stomachs. Sheryl brings out the playful chick in me, so some uneaten vegetables were thrown around the table. Must have been the Alize bottle we drank at the hotel. Felt bad for the waitress, so we cleaned up a bit and met Rene, who had arrived after a delayed flight at the front doors.

It was 4pm and we weren’t buzzing – Happy Hour beckoned! Off to the Bally’s Tequila bar were we down a couple of those cheap yet cheerful margaritas. Next stop was Napoleon’s for what we thought was Happy Hour champers – nope, you only get a plate of free sandwiches. Had a couple of cocktails and a famished Rene took the complimentary sandwiches. I don’t know what it was with this trip, but uneaten food was destroyed like Tom Cruise on a couch. It was truly revolting, but then again our mental ages sometime reverts to being 12.

At this point we were feeling damn good so I thought “Hell with the Strip†let’s finally head Downtown! We were dropped off across from the Four Queens and the place was generally dead. I made a beeline for Le Bayou for the Grain Train. I literally left the gals in the dust and ran up to the counter. The gal there recommended the orange strawberry concoction – I didn’t care, just wanted the extra shot in whatever I drank. Started downing the sucker and walked back to see the gals sitting by the slots – with free drinks! Figured they gave them out so we would stay in the casino, but they don’t know us. Those drinks (including my yard) were gone in a couple of minutes and we were off. Didn’t really know where to go, so we walked to the misters – under the canopy of the Golden Gate. Got a little hot, so we sought refuge in the casino. Now when Rene opened the front door she didn’t realize how stiff they were – which caused me to literally fall backwards, into Sheryl who pretty much knocked over her Mom. It was completely slapstick and embarrassing. We were laughing so loud the whole casino practically stopped. Our first sight was a security guard and a senior manager, who greeted us with a tentative “Helloâ€. I thought “Oh shit†we’re getting kicked out of this place. Instead, we were welcomed in to what would be the friendliest damn casino in Vegas. We talked to the security guard Scott for a while, who teased us about our drunkenness and suddenly drinks appeared beside us magically. I still had my empty yard glass so we walked to the bar to get it refilled for $3. That is when we met Curly, the long-standing bartender. We became fast friends and moved to sit at the end of the bar. Now the people at the GG bar at this time of day were generally over the age of 50, excluding one or two guys. So when us gals walked in we literally gave them a coronary – one exclaimed “These ladies are heaven-sent!†We sat our butts down and a lovely distinguished Spanish gentleman offered to buy us shrimp cocktail. I’ve had a guy offer to buy me a cocktail before, but this was a first. So up he went for the 99 cent special and we continued to banter with Curly. He showed us the GG brochure with him posing on the phone with a lady on the bed. I was literally howling for a few minutes – it looked like a 70s porno (which is probably what the rooms actually look like). We ribbed him about who he was calling – from the looks of it we all agreed the Fashion Police! Curly autographed a few for us, and then made us a round of hardcore shots – whatever they were they were red and enough to make Sheryl and Rene do the Charleston to the piano bar entertainment. In fact, I think Sheryl danced with half the guys in the bar, who took their turn politely requesting her hand. I don’t know how but at some point Sheryl ended up playing the piano – hell if I remember what she played, but she charmed the pants of the place. Our Spanish friend returned with the cocktails and they were quickly eaten except for mine (I had told him I couldn’t eat seafood). The consensus was they were pretty darn good.

We enjoyed ourselves immensely but we had to head back to MB to go to Rock Star Karaoke at the House of Blues then the Foundation Room. Walked through the Plaza quickly then off in a cab to get into our clubbing gear! Drank more booze, was at the point where when I tried to put on my boots I kept falling over. Down to the House of Blues – got there right when they opened, so Sheryl was one of the first to sign up. She wanted us to join in too, but when I saw the stage and the size of the place I knew the only thing I would do is hurl. Just a warning – drink service here SUCKS. The waitress was the biggest bitch and gave Sheryl a hard time about returning her credit card. We actually had to get the Manager to hand it back to us in the end. Sheryl was up three songs in doing “Hella Good†by No Doubt. Her first words were “Who the hell is as drunk as me here?!!!†She put on a great show, lots of slithering and shaking on stage but apologized for her voice being ruined by JD.

We were out of the place soon afterwards as it was almost 12am and up immediately to the Foundation Room. Liked the vibe, loved the view. Got considerably more crowded as the night moved on – the hallways and spaces are small so it was hard to move between the three rooms (which played hip hop, 80s and house). I think at some point Sharon departed. Hung out with guys from Seattle who knew how to boogie on down. Stayed a few hours but got tired of battling the crowd. On our way out a few local boys tried to convince us to stay and ply us with free drinks, but after our almost 12 hours straight of booze, I think that was it for us. We tried to creep into the suite and not disturb Sharon at the late hour.

 

Wowsers......awesome so far ...author ...author !.

 

SweetP, I can't believe how much some of you people fit into one trip. Makes me feel lazy. Sounds like you're all having a great time. So far, so good....ok, but where's the rest?