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Absence, Hearts, Fondness Live 9/28 - Dunno

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by tdhoier, Sep 27, 2017.

  1. tdhoier

    tdhoier High-Roller

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    My Trip Report

    Folks,

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Ain’t no two ways about it and ain’t nobody better doubt it.


    It’s been roughly ten weeks since I last set my GUESS Teddie Lace-Up Sneakers upon Clark County soil and I’ve missed this little gal a great deal.
    LVCPanoramic.jpeg
    It’s football season and I always go to the 702 for a football weekend.

    It’s football season and I always go to the 920 for a football game.

    This is how the brilliant minds of the so-few who have earned a diploma at one Colorado State University think…you kill two fish with one spear.

    Before the LVC, I’m making a 1.5 day hiccup into O’Hare. I’m renting the Audi, going to my old dermatologist to verify I don’t have any cancerous legions I’m unaware of, picking up the brother from O’Hare, driving up 94/43 swiftly, sitting in church @ 1265 Lombardi Avenue for 3+ hours to see the GBP beat the shit out of the Bears, rest, and take one of them airplanes to Nevada.
    It was a tough call on the hotel accommodations for FRI Night. I’m not getting into McCarran until 9:30 and I wanted somewhere cheap, yet respectable…a place that epitomizes my way of life: Class.


    I gave serious consideration to the Motel 6 on Tropicana Ave (where I once found $400 in a Ziploc sandwich bag floating in the back of a toilet), a Hampton Inn up on Tropicana Ave (@ the I-15 interchange) and there t’wasn’t a Howard Johnson’s to be found.


    I then remembered a little villa that is but a stones throw from the Hard Rock on Harmon. A fortress that bears the name of one of my two celebrity crushes: The Alexis Park.

    Surely this castle was named after my beloved Alexis Neiers. I’m not sure if she’s actually a celebrity, but she had her own E! show for a season before she started running with the wrong crowd (Bling Ring) and snorting heroin.
    Neiers.jpeg
    Let’s make this crystal clear: I could care less about the whole Bling Ring thing. So she broke into some celebrity homes and stole some jewelry up on Mulholland Drive. The more I see this Orlando Bloom parading around waterfronts on paddle boards with his dong flapping about for all to see, I’m glad the guy got robbed.
    If I mention Alexis, I have to mention my only TRUE celebrity crush.

    It’s been ongoing for decades since I was a young, strapping pre-teen and I saw her on the RCA television in a little movie they called ‘Six Pack’. Life was never the same after that and no woman has compared to her since…regardless if they caved in and dated me out of desperation, were too drunk to see / tell what was going on or how much I paid them to spend ten minutes with me.


    Ladies. Gentlemen. Hermaphrodites. I give you one Diane Lane (and DO NOT talk shit about this collage…these are stills from the portion of the film where she’d walked around all night alone in the rain after being berated by Mr Country Singer for being irresponsible).
    Lane1.jpeg
    In my sad existence, there has never been anyone who can or will compete. I feel my (seemingly) lifelong dedication should earn me a date via the Make-A-Wish Foundation or something.

    I’m not sure if Make-A-Wish is solely for cancer-inflicts or tots with some sort of disability, but TRUST me…with my family history & gene pool, I’m destined to get cancer any day now…so let’s make this happen already.
    Lane2.jpeg
    Look at fucking Kenny Rogers groping her on-set, here. You DIRTY old man! Erin Gray was in a trailer on the same lot….leave Diane alone, PREDATOR!!!

    God. I hate pervy guys, ya know? They give me the Willies.
    Sorry, I got off track.

    I read some random reviews of Alexis Neiers Park and most of them were written by women crying because the property seems to have a myriad of leaking AC units and infested with roaches. I’m not opposed to a roach motel, but why go through the hassle of dealing with the possibility when you could go somewhere else and deal with bed bugs or bloody mattress pads?

    The CS’s (Chincy Stinges) over at MLIFE never seem to hook a Platinum member up with much of anything, but I did book a basic Resort King for $127 over at the Mandolin Bay, with all fees and taxes included. Cheaper than the Neiers Roach Resort and not horrible for a FRI Night, I suppose.


    Saturday I will check into a One Bedroom at the Elara, there. I’ve toyed with the idea of staying at this property for many-a-year now. Figured this was the time to go for it and realize it’s probably where I should have been staying all along. No resort fees and no random charges to use the interweb.

    For whatever reason, there is no countdown timer for this business.

    This was about eleven too many paragraphs of unintelligible drivel, but basically, it’s my college & pro football betting weekend (I do that every college & pro football weekend actually…& MON’s & THU’s….& MAC TUE’s….but just not in Las Vegas).

    I’m sure other things will take place and that’s what some of you will browse about periodically to find out.


    If you read through all of this nonsense, stick around. Something WILL happen, honestly.

    I swear.

    Love y’all.

    XO

     
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  2. tdhoier

    tdhoier High-Roller

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    LVC2.JPG
     
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  3. 93 Octane

    93 Octane Chief bottle washer

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    I'm not going to ask why you were at a Motel 6 on Tropicana
     
    Poker and sports betting
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  4. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    Will be following your Vegas adventures.
     
    Lady Gaga and Dierks Bentley Concert Trip
  5. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    I'm hoping to see a Hugh Hefner Memorial Walk to the Strat!

    HH.jpg

    RICHARD
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2017
  6. MikeOPensacola

    MikeOPensacola VIP Whale

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    Subscribed for the duration. Not enough TRs begin with a Ray Nitschke reference. :clap: Have fun at Lambeau and looking forward to your comments on Hilton Grand Vacations. Watch out for those one-way streets my man. :poke:
     
    Christmas at Cosmo!!!
    Summer Fun!!!
  7. tdhoier

    tdhoier High-Roller

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    Legs crossed at the airport, early morn.

    Noticed a blemish on the soul of my left shoe.

    Upon further examination (sniffing)...maybe a poodle deposit

    [​IMG]

    Not sure how that got there considering I haven't worn these since my last trip a couple months ago and I don't recall a dog going into my closet, opening the Diesel show box and taking a smash.
     
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  8. vegasvette

    vegasvette Low-Roller

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    Enjoy the whooping tonight, we'll be there too! Don't blow the bankroll at Oneida please, I want to read your updates this weekend.
     
    Annual Golf Trip
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  9. Gino

    Gino "The King of Inappropriate."

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    I look forward to your trip reports almost as much as I look forward to my own Vegas trips. Have fun brother.
     
    10 Year Anniversary Trip
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  10. tdhoier

    tdhoier High-Roller

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    Celebrity Flight Attendant on Flight 4607.[​IMG]
    Joe Maddon, ladies and gentlemen!

    It really is a wonderful city despite the elected official's inability to manage money, all of the people getting shot in the face and the fact my property taxes have been raised over 200% in a decade.

    [​IMG]

    Oh, and the weather. Aside from today, it's usually horrible.
     
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  11. tdhoier

    tdhoier High-Roller

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    [​IMG]

    Had to hit up my old Dermatologist while I was back in Chicago.
    I say, "Doc, what up with this mad rash all up and down me bod?"
    Doc, "You got a bad case of Packer Fever, homeboy."

    I checked out A-OK.

    [​IMG]

    You remember when all of those brats walked into Wonka's chocolate room for the very first time? Well it's the same thrill this guy gets when he steps into his favorite store.

    Had to stock up for Vegas (and to take back home to VA)

    Bought 2 of those on the far right:
    [​IMG]

    Bought 3 of my favorite red wine, here:


    [​IMG]

    Then bought a bottle of vodka for when I arrive at Mandalay manana.

    [​IMG]

    Burrito at one of my absolute favorite eateries.

    [​IMG]

    Just arrived at Church. I'm 3 hours early so I'm going to try and fit in with these people and get drunk.

    Go Pack!
     
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  12. greekjim

    greekjim Low-Roller

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    Ahhhh Binny’s beverage depot
     
  13. tdhoier

    tdhoier High-Roller

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    Bought the Niece & Nephew $200 worth of jerseys.

    You can't go wrong with these two, here.

    Hall of Fame ability...Hall of Fame hearts.

    And I'm referring to Lord Rodgers & Jordy...definotely not the Niece & Nephew.

    [​IMG]
     
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  14. tdhoier

    tdhoier High-Roller

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    [​IMG]
     
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  15. Gino

    Gino "The King of Inappropriate."

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    Go Pack Go! LETS DO BLOW!!!
     
    10 Year Anniversary Trip
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  16. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    We're still a few weeks away from that, Gino! :D

    snow.jpg

    RICHARD
     
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  17. 93 Octane

    93 Octane Chief bottle washer

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    Dammit forgot to start Cobb:mad:
     
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  18. insin

    insin Speed Spender

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    How ya like that rain & lightning? hehehehe
    I really hope you brought a poncho....frickin' wisconsin weather.
     
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  19. the nuts

    the nuts VIP Whale

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    Came in hot! Amazing start!
    Always look forward to your TRs! :popcorn:
     
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  20. tdhoier

    tdhoier High-Roller

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    Not being responsible with my hangover powders, I arose with a miserable headache & wrapped my 6 bottles & $250 worth of booze and packed them in the Samsonite.

    I really enjoy booze and sampled many a variety before and during the game...and while the Hurricane hit the stadium.

    I like booze like Anthony Weiner likes texting 14 year old girls. Yes, that much.

    I thank my brother for taking the. Controls for the drive home. Otherwise, we end up in a fence lining Lombardi Ave.

    I exchanged lovely pleasantries with my two Aunts & Uncle (non polygamous), i bid farewell to Appleton, WI and headed south to Chicago in my trusted Audi A4.



    [​IMG]

    Made a pit stop in downtown Milwaukee because I needed to monitor the progress of the new Milwaukee Bucks arena.

    Unfortunately, there was nowhere to park where o could take some snapshots of this grandiose fortress. Future home to the soon-to-be minimum 8-peat Buckeroos.

    You can log onto Bucks.com and see how things are looking. Go ahead...Do it!! God damnit already!

    Folks are into the food porn on this website & I stumbled across some unbelievable vittles at O'Hare International this evening.

    [​IMG]

    Yes, the Manchu Wok cured my hangover blues. It was as if I was eating on the shores of Truk Lap Kok off the shores of Hong Kong.

    [​IMG]

    Next stop: Clark County, USA
     
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