A Few Quotes...

Remember how we had all those threads about stuff we did and didn't wanna hear during the Madness? Well, here are a few of the things I did hear this past week.


1) Security is here, again.


2) Mikey: Drew, what the hell are you doing?

Drew: I'm taking a picture of my bus.

Mikey: That ain't your bus. It's much too long.



3) I can't even beat you jackasses. You expect me to sit down at a real poker table?

4) Angy:How many more cards do we get?

Dealer: One.

Angy: Ok, I'll play then.

Mikey and Snert, in unison: D'oh!



5) What does your tattoo say?

"Boobie rides for $1".

Got change for a fiver?


6) Why are you wearing a bowling glove at the poker table? You got ice skates on too?


7) I wasn't at the Vegas sign three hours ago.

Dude, we have photographic evidence--you're even wearing the same shirt, you drunken retard.

I have no recollection of that...



8) Is that tattoo your handiwork?

Of course it is. Don't you recognize a Picasso when you see one, f*cker?


9) Search him! He's got dope!

10) That's quite a manly drink you got there with all them chocolate sprinkles on top...

11) I don't think you're using that tequila bottle in the way God intended.

12) I think Angy just broke the luggage carousel.

13) Lemme get a picture of you stacking Terry's chips.

14) I'm folding this hand out of respect. That, and I gotta go piss really bad.

15) Man, even Doc wouldn't play this hand...

16) Somebody should tell her to go to the clinic tomorrow and get checked out. She might be pregnant after that last lapdance.

17) What am I supposed to do with this empty chip rack?

Hand it over, you won't be needing it any more...

18) You know what I'm going to do with my winnings? I'm going to buy a hooker that looks just like Marty and make her iron my shirt!

19) Angy, put the bleach away. This isn't that kind of party...

20) You get one more beard at that table, you're gonna have The Last F*ckin' Supper.


Mikey

 

Those are some great quotes! How do you remember all of them? Usually when something funny happens and I want to tell people the next day I forget half the story and it's all a big blur . . . . .

 

quotes

Too funny...

 

"Whatcha got there, Altoids and Gatorade? Thats the freakin breakfast of champions..."

"I've seen better hands on a clock"

"Boy, I sure have a wet bum..."

"We need to go and change..." "Do you need help???"

"You, Me, Poker... NOW"

Maybe I should stay one more day... Should I stay one more day? Yeah, I think I'll stay one more day...

"What the fuck is a Frush??"

And the ever popular....

Gee, I've never played in a real poker game before...

 

Classic linee, just classic.

 

My favorite!

 

One of the things I heard that sticks in my mind is this:

"I can't believe I'm standing in line to smell Sin!"

 

"BOOOM!!!
What was that?
It was T."

 

This wasn't from a MM partcipant, it was from my buddy. He said he hooked up with a girl so my buddies and I asked him to bring booze and stories, he texted back, "Will see. She was much better looking last night."

I have the text message locked in my phone for eternity. I plan to forward it to him every so often.

 

Fuckin aye!

Yea, T hittin the deck was a "special" moment.

 

A few more....

If you're gonna puke, puke on the new guy.

...I swear it sounded like people having sex out there, but I couldn't get my head down low enough to see for sure.

I've never seen anybody eat an entire bowl of sour cream like that...

Fine, Sajak, keep my twenty dollars. Bastard.

F*cking Megabucks... I guess I have to go back to work next week...

Jesus dude, how much porn can you fit in one backpack?


Mikey

 

"Terry. You made Baby Jesus cry!"

"Are we dancing or just holding her up?"

Talking about someone's Mom:
"Is she hot?"
"Well, I have seen her naked..."

"Stop hitting me in the head with that hard plastic thingy!"

Front Desk: "How may I assist your party?"
Me: "By giving us a room that's not occupied."

"If we stay one more day, I'm gonna own this hotel!"

 

Does it LOOK like this group wants a wine list?

Dude who ordered the SALAD?

Dude you really had HER order it so you could take it home!

Man you went far enough to shock Mikey!

Here's 20 just keep them coming.

WE have the photographic evidence to prove it.

Marty was covered as a rainbow of dirt came from the back of the ATV.

No Mom, they were just kidding.

Geez Flaggers! Can you keep the f**king dice on the table for ONE throw?

Huh? Where are we?

The mattress is almost off the bed.

He said, 'What's the bleach for, are you making a bomb?'

Feel that, she is stripper soft™!

 

Just one to add, context to follow:

"I'm not sure what the three fives do, but the jack, I think, is pretty high."

 

I remembered some more...

"Here dude eat this. Don't worry, I don't have cooties."

"Sleep is for the weak!"

"Want a drink?"
"What are my options?"
"Juice."
"What sort of juice?"
"Sticky, sin, Kikky or Patti."
"Uhhhhh....can I have a little of each?"

 

Ay. Snore. Ay. Snore. Ay.

Are those real?

We need a birthday lappie over here!!

 

M:Sorry, that was a big blind special.
A:As if you wouldn't play those cards normally...

She asked if I wanted a drink and all I could think was, what can you make with melon liqueur?

There's chicks snuggling on the lounger and you're staring at your laptop??

 

Ummmm....I wonder which California boy said that one!!

My guess, the Santa Barbara one......

 

sonofa.....

 

Some more!

"It's after midnight! I can get more money!"

"Hey Ron, the plaque for the alternates is in the ladies room."

"Look at all the lights! Its not the Strip, but its a lot of lights!"

"Spoon me!"