I'm going to start this TR off with a little advice, if you have ever gone to Vegas with somebody and said Never Again, remember that the next time you go with them. I should title this, how to have a shitty time in Vegas, but I won't bore you with the inlaws, and get to the good stuff: Left Springfield Missouri on United at 6:21 AM, arrived in Denver on time and headed to the smoking lounge for what we thought was going to be about an hour in smoking heaven. We had a short walk to gate 43, so we left the lounge about 20 minutes before the flight, only to find out that there was the dreaded gate change, off to gate 18 we ran with our shorts falling down to our ankles. Amazing how shorts can stretch after two hours of wear! About halfway to the gate, my wife says, my foot hurts, so we slow down and look at a monitor, what was to be a 9AM flight, turned into a "now 9:43", so we fixed the wardrobe malfunctions and made friends with the FA's waiting on the flight in the gate area. Boarded the plane and decided it was time to see if those frequent flyer drink coupons I bought on eBay 5 years ago still worked. Actually, I bought an envelope, that included the coupons in it. They worked, and we proceeded to have some early morning beers, free beer = tasty breakfast. Showed up in Vegas about 45 minutes late, and met our "birthday" limo provided by Caesers, in baggage claim and took the tunnel to Caesers Palace (CP from now on). The driver, Diane, was cool, ended up talking about the fried chicken at Knot's Berry Farms in LA the whole way. UMMM, fried Chicken. Proceeded to check in and scored our room early (Augustus tower, room 2795, huge room at the end of the hall, not a suite, just huge), went up, called the bellman, waited for him, and scored a bottle of champagne and the best looking chocolate covered strawberries you've ever seen from our non Host. Went thru a marketing executive to make the reservations this time, hence all the "free" stuff. Proceeded down to the casino, where we cashed in our $350 travel voucher, game my lovely wife $200 of it, kept the other $150 and went in search of something to play (translates to, find a cocktail waitress and sit down). Wife found a top $ machine, I found a 3x4x5x quarter machine, her $'s went faster than my quarters, but those two beers cost $80. Went in search of other machines, she found a penny happy days, I sat down at a red hot penny machine, she scored $280, I scored $135, so we were happy. Went to play a $ top $ while Ann went to the toilet, that was a $50 pee. Went to a wizard of oz, the one with the tornado, I like those tornado's, much better than the ones that hit here (at home, not the casino). The storm blew in and won $225. Then wandered over to "the pole". The pole is a 3x4x5x $ machine, 5 line, that I end up parking at in $ land whenever we stay at Caesers, I'll refer to it as the pole here on out, so pay attention. Played for a couple of hours, up and down for a loss of $40, but put a lot of points on my card, remember, one spin = 1 point. Since we had been up since 1am Vegas time, we decided it was time to go look at that bottle in the room, it was about 4pm and the inlaws were nearby They finally show up, and I go down to meet them, long story short, they were supposed to get the same $350 we were, but it wasn't in the computer that way, so instead of taking it out on management, they took it out on me, for 24 hours, until I finally got it fixed. So anyway, we go back up to the rooms, thank god they were not adjoining or I'd be either, out on bail, or still in the clark county detention center. I eye the big old bubble tub and the bottle of champagne, and say, you guys go have fun, we are staying up here, Hello hot tub and room service. Woke up the next morning, patting myself on the back for bringing that coffee maker from home, stupid me, the in laws found out and camped out in our room for 3 hours. bitch, bitch, bitch about the credit card fiasco (their card didn't scan right at the seven stars check in, so they had to pay cash for their room service the night before) Now let me tell you, it's a long walk from check in to the Augustus tower, NOT! I'd had enough, so I went down to the pole. On spin 3, hit it for $520, so I'm very happen, Yes, I believe I will have a 7 and 7 thank you. In laws are getting madder and madder about the $350, so I decide to hide, which I find easy to do, I don't answer the cell phone. Ann finally gets ready and comes down to the casino around 3pm, just in time for the in laws to drag me to some poor unsuspecting host, not mine, but he fixed the problem really quick, since "marketing executive" couldn't find the time to return my phone call. Head back to $ land, now that everybody is happy and sit down at some sort of 5 line machine that takes $10 to enable the bonus. After 4 spins, hit the bonus for $200, small bonus on a $10 total bet machine, but I'll take it. We then get drug kicking and screaming over to the flamingo, via Bills, which still doesn't take TR cards. It was hot, even the inlaws from Phoenix were complaining, hey you guys live there. long story short, Ann and I lose at the flamingo about 300, and couldn't find a drink lady anywhere, so we went to the IP, they have cleaned it up a little since last march, but still a bit of a dive, but they make one hell of a stiff drink, even if it is in a plastic cup. We continue to enjoy our losing ways, and decide, back to caesers for us. Then I see one of those penny wof machines, $4 max bet, and IF you hit the bonus with max bet, you get 8 spots on the wheel to win from. So I sit down and put in a hundy, Ann says I'll have good luck, well she was right, as I hit two bonuses within 3 spins of each other, and walked out of there with an extra 300. Went back to CP and went to the food court. I love fish and chips, and they have good one's, but somehow Ann talked me into a pizza and salad, so we got one of those with the promise of fish and chips tomorrow...now it's a long walk back from the food court to the a tower, especially with shorts that just have to keep falling down, I really need butt implants, so when we neared the pole, I told Ann, you go over to payards and get some ice cream, and I'll wait here. The pole was stingy, but the 7 and 7's were good. So Ann shows up, now I have salad, huge pizza and 3 cups of ice cream to carry while trying to hold up my shorts...luckily, Ann used to be a server, and I have no shame, so she carried it all, while I held my shorts up. got up to the room, turned off the phones, and did what mid 40 year olds do, ate pizza and went to bed. I guess I should mention that I used up all of that $150 CP gave me, so day three started with: A phone call from the Inlaws at 7:15am, WTF?, you wanna have coffee? NO! and me heading down to the pole with my hand in my wallet....I wasn't there very long and decided to go to penny land, which sucked me harder that the pole did...Ann shows up at 2:30, she's the smart one in Las Vegas, and says How you doing? I tell her no good, so we play the big event, which never hit, and Indiana Jones, which did hit, max coin to boot. no idea how much as I have drank since then. We then decide, since we've remade platinum status, good enough for us, that we will wander over to the bellagio. Now that was fun, don't remember the game, but it was pennies, with a big spinning drum on the top of it. Cocktail service was great, love those glasses, and I hit the bonus a lot, Then went over to an 5 line $ Instant Spin game, it was fun too, but it didn't instant spin enough. Then got some bright idea to play a 9 line $ machine, that was stupid. In laws showed up, damn cell phones, and after proclaiming the B screwed them out of $10 free play, there are no drink ladies (could have fooled my drunk ass), we headed back to CP, back to the pole I go dreaming of fish and chips.....ended up getting suckered into room service upstairs with the and called it a night. last day, 12:21 flight (noonish). Decide we need to leave CP at 10 since the UA FA came on the overhead when we landed and said the TSA is bad, be here 2 hours before, well, they lied. And since LV has decided to get rid of smoking in the airport, those were some fast smokes we had outside in 115 degree weather. Plane left 40 minutes late, so we got to run thru Denver again, made the plane on time and I made a mental note to bring a fabric softener sheet with me from now on. The lady in front of me had a small problem, which she reinforced every 5 minutes, really really bad gas, my shirt, which I was using as a filter, wore off after about 30 minutes, hence the downy sheet! So we clear the airport in springfield, and Ann says, whats up with this $45 charge for your birthday limo.....talk about a slap in the face! Hope I didn't bore you guys to much, already planning our Winter time trip in Vegas!