3 guys in Vegas 6/19-22 (first trip report) [long]

I've been lurking on this forum for a while, and finally have a trip report to share. Hope you all like it, and thanks for all your Vegas wisdom, stories, and humor.

-----------

Sometimes you have to be careful what you say at parties. When a couple of my buddies were talking recently a party, one said, “we should go to Vegasâ€. Well, I’d heard this talk before, and it usually didn’t amount to anything. So, I took charge of this, found us an insane mid-week rate at the MGM through America West Vacations and just like that, we were booked. The crew for this trip was me, B, and S, old friends since high school. B and I had visited Vegas a couple of years earlier as a part of our annual Spring Training trip to Phoenix. I’d been there a few times in the past year with various friends. Neither of us had been to Vegas with S, but he knows how to party--be it simply drinking, gambling, or ogling women at dance clubs, so it seemed like a good crew.

DAY ONE

S was keen on finding a good pool, whereas only gambling and drinking mattered to me, so we decided on the MGM since it has a huge pool complex, and was one of the moderately priced options from AW Vacations. We flew in the evening of 6/19 and while B and S waited for the luggage, I checked into the MGM at their airport check-in. This seems like such a great deal—no lines, and the clerk was quite agreeable with the $20 trick and gave us a nice Bungalow suite. The trip was looking good so far.

All of us were quite hungry, and were quite surprised to find no restaurants at the MGM other than the café open past 10pm. Well, for those interested, I must say I was impressed by the quality and size of their club sandwich.

After sating our hunger, we planned to start the evening with some video poker and free booze. Taking up our places at the Jacks or Better machines near the main lobby (favorites of mine since I hit a royal there two years ago), we did our best to look really thirsty, tipped well, and started the vodka tonics flowing. After a few of those, we decided to find some good blackjack or craps action. S was looking for $5 limits, so that meant leaving the MGM. A brief trip through NYNY seemed to do nothing to excite our senses, but the Monte Carlo met our $5 craps demands well. The table was choppy, but the drinks came insanely fast. In fact, I switched to shots just so I could finish the drinks in time to order another one. No complaints here. B wandered off to play some more VP after not liking the choppiness. Soon after, S wandered off, too. But not I! I was determined to get a few more shots of Jack in me before that $100 buy in dwindled. A few shots later, a moment of clarity hit and said, “hey, take that 40 bucks you’ve got left and get that drunk ass of yours off this table.†Oddly enough, I listened. Found the other guys, and we meandered up the street to the Aladdin—another place I knew had a $5 craps table. We stopped briefly at the Boardwalk where I essentially ended up giving my friends about 50 bucks while we played blackjack.

I don’t know about anyone else, but when I was at the Aladdin months ago, the craps crews were jovial, happy, and fun. A good friend was here last month and complained to me how the attitude had changed. What do you know? The crew at the table we settled on was the surliest group I’d seen outside Casino Royale. After parting with more money than I should have, we wandered off to play a bit of VP and ogle the working girls at the former lamp bar. Surveying the landscape led me to think that the diminishing quality of pros here may have something to do with the newfound surliness of the dealers, but that’s just a theory.

Back to the MGM for some late night VP—B and I didn’t do so hot, but got a few drinks to stay nicely above the weather. S played some hold ‘em and was just under even when too many people left his table to allow it to continue. I passed out as the sun was coming up hoping that I could turn around my financial fortunes when I woke up, since I had about 300 bucks to win back.

(end part 1)

 

3 guys in Vegas 6/19-22 (part 2) [long]

DAY TWO

Now, I’m not a big fan of pools. I just don’t like hanging out in the 100 degree sun. But, I must say the MGM pool complex may have converted me. (Plus, it may have saved me a bit of money since it would be time spent gambling). We found a spot in their lazy river complex next to some nice looking young ladies (who coincidentally got up and left as soon as we settled in) and got a few drinks. We then jumped in the river and proceeded to float around for the next hour or so, sipping margaritas. With the great scenery (especially this one fine babe who took the term ‘thong’ to its most extreme) and cooling waters of the river, it was a great way to start of the day, even it was 2pm. Plus, it’s really amusing to watch all the guys floating by on the river do their best to look inconspicuous in their sideways glances at said thong artisan and her fine friends. Just as S caught me looking, he said, “so, wanna get some Pink Taco?â€

So, it was off to the Hard Rock for happy hour. The Pink Taco has a great 2-for-1 deal on beers and margaritas and within minutes of arriving you could water ski across the lake of margaritas on our table. Compared to the “Mexican†food we get in the Northwest, the tacos here were excellent and the drinks were strong. Plus, they had tortilla chips that were sturdy enough to roof a house, so that’s something.

I took up residence at a decent craps table for a while. Bought in for 100, was down about 80, but thanks to this kid from Germany on the hook who brought me back from the verge of yet another crap out, I colored up 50 ahead plus a couple of drinks. The dealers were a blast at the HR and while I wanted to stay, I had to take the money and run. I joined B and S up in the circle bar where they were ogling all the fine women here. Now, I love looking at all the beautiful (and near-beautiful) ladies who frequent this place, but this is the meat market to end all meat markets, and I can’t help feeling that I’m underdressed here in Poseur Central. Still, we did get to see two cute blond girls walk in hand-in-hand and take a seat at the bar (yes, they shared a seat, which caused me to develop a drinking problem). They proceeded to get propositioned by some dude, who received a slap to the face. All his buddies across the bar really seemed to enjoy that. In fact, almost all the guys around were watching this couple, and they all enjoyed seeing that.

On that note, one of my friends mentioned that Club Paradise was across the street. Great, another hit to the bankroll. One I could feel in my hip pocket, even. A while later, my bankroll was low, my spirits were high, and I really needed a cigarette.

S wanted to play some poker, B wanted to do some sports betting on baseball and the NBA Finals, so we headed back to the MGM. I played a bit of VP, hit four aces on a bonus poker machine and won 100 bucks. Sweet! I’m on my way back! So, I got cocky and started playing dollars. A few draws later, I decided I might as well play blackjack since I’d get better drink service. As I was walking past the La Femme bar, a few girls motioned for me to come over. Since there were about 5 of them, I reasoned that they weren’t pros, and even if they were, there were 5 of ‘em! One of the girls starts talking and says two of her friends are celebrating their 21st and that I should join them for a party. Well, sure. They gave me their room number and told me to drop by later.

Feeling quite full of myself since this was the first time a non-hooker talked to me at a video poker bar without prompting, I found a nice $10 table and started playing with a couple of other guys. Soon enough, these girls wandered over, a few joined in, we played for a while, and they all started talking about this party. One of the other guys at the table pipes up, “We’ve got a suite, why don’t you party in our room?†Damn, why didn’t I think of that? Oh yeah, I was stunned earlier. Just then, the most amazing thing happened: his buddy sitting next to him says, “I don’t know if that’s such a good ideaâ€. I just about dropped my drink. I feebly offer up my room (not knowing if either of my friends are currently passed out there or not), but the girls say to come to their room anyway. (I found out later that the lame guy has a girlfriend at home and was worried. Guess those “What happens here†ads don’t really work.)

I decide to head up the room to freshen up for the party. When I get there, S says, “hey, I met these girls and they’re having a partyâ€. “Is it a dual 21st birthday party?†Turns out he ran into them at the VP bar a bit after I did.

We get to the room, and well, the room was packed. Unfortunately, they must have told every guy in the casino last night because other than the 5 women, it was a sausage fest. We stayed for a bit, but decided that we’d cut our losses on this one and make up a good story for the guys at home. Hey, look, the sun’s coming up again.

(end part 2)

 

3 guys in Vegas 6/19-22 (part 3) [long]

DAY THREE

What better way to start the day than margaritas on the lazy river? Yep, I’m now a pool convert. But only if they’ve got a lazy river so the scenery changes while you’re drinking. Hmm…perhaps TV culture has adversely affected me.

After lazily drifting by dozens of bikini-clad women all afternoon, we were all hungry for a buffet. Off to the Aladdin where we all ate way too much, but immensely enjoyed ourselves. Then we took a walk down to Caesars to watch the NBA Finals. The sports book was packed but we found spots at nearby Bonus Poker machines. (aside: Wow, they make a good vodka tonic here!) B hit 4 aces and that lifted his spirits. A couple of baseball games hit for him as well, so he could collect when we got back to the MGM. Since it was so crowded, we thought we’d try out the Mirage. Same story, but even more crowded. Off to Mist at TI. (I think that what it was called). We had a very friendly waitress and found a great spot to watch the second half. I ordered some kind of Mystical Margarita or something—I don’t know what it was. Thankfully, the lighting in the ultra lounge was ultra dim so no one could tell if I were actually drinking an ultra-foofoo drink. After the Spurs won (they won, right?) we wandered off to see the Wynn. Wow, what a nice waterfall and shopping mall, er, “Esplanadeâ€. The casino seemed very nice, if a bit dead. We all made a note that this would be a good place to impress girls. Unfortunately, we didn’t have any with us, despite us mingling with the high rollers here at Wynn. So…S wanted to go clubbing (our waitress at Mist couldn’t say enough about Pure at Caesars) and although I was apprehensive, we headed down that way anyway.

After stopping for a few at the Carnival Court, we headed to Margaritaville and perched on the deck opposite Pure. Now, I don’t know about anyone else’s idea of what a Perfect Margarita is, but I must say I agree with Jimmy Buffet’s idea—more tequila than you can possibly imagine. (Their mixer for this drink must be pure syrup in order to mask what should have been an overwhelming cheap tequila taste.) Hell, it must have been a great drink if I’m willing to compliment Jimmy Buffet...

S really wanted to check out Pure, I wanted to gamble, and B was being wishy-washy. I told ‘em to use that “free pass†they scored earlier from some dude on the street, and if the club is really good, come find me at the Barbary Coast in a couple of hours. I always have good luck there, and that continued tonight. I found yet another choppy craps table but I had a few good rolls to keep me above water. I then proceeded to play some blackjack at a $10 table. I got in on a good shoe, made a bit of cash, and continued to play for about an hour or so. At least that’s how long it seemed. When S and B found me, I had well more than doubled my buy in. Then BC sent in the closer and my stack started to dwindle. I colored up and left with a tidy profit. S said that Pure was nice, with plenty of hot women, but they wanted to check out some other places, maybe a lounge or two. At this point, I was in full effect and wanted to burn down a blackjack table somewhere. I talked ‘em into joining me after we staggered back to the MGM. We headed off to the Trop where I knew we could find some $5 tables. B said he’d follow us, but wasn’t sure if he’d play.

Now, I’m not a fan of the trop, per se, but I know it was essential that S wanted a $5 blackjack table. Amazingly we found two spots next to two attractive young ladies (what were they doing here? And were they really that attractive? Tequila says yes) right after we walked in and S and I bought in. Let me tell you, it was some of the most bizarre BJ I’ve ever seen. The guy at first really knew his basic strategy but never bet more than $5 even when he won several in a row. The next guy had never played before, and bet wildly varying amounts from 5 to 7 to 13 to something like 28.50 at one point. Another guy next to him made several good plays but every now and then played some inexplicable hunches like hitting 17 against a dealer 4 even though the dealer kept saying, “no you don’t want to hit thisâ€. He kept losing these bets but never heeded the dealer’s advice. The two young ladies were clearly learning, and the dealer was more than happy to assist them. S sat to my right and I was at the end. I did okay, S got all upset at the strange play, and left. Of course, he stayed around until the girls left the table.

Since S and I hadn’t had enough bizarre blackjack play, we crossed over to Excalibur. B decided to go back to the MGM to play some VP or hold ‘em--I forget which. At Excal, we found what had to be the drunkest group of players anywhere. How drunk? Splitting Nines and Tens drunk. After a bit of treading water, we decided to catch the tram down to Mandalay Bay. It was 2 or 3 or even 4 in the morning, so why not? Well, aside from all the hookers in the center bar, Mandalay was quite dead. We spied a cute cocktail waitress in the slots area so we settled in for some VP action. What do you know? I hit two four of a kinds on Double Bonus and suddenly my whole bankroll was back! Plus, the cute cocktail waitress was very friendly and smart, even though she didn’t get our “man behind the man†joke when I introduced S. She told us how she was studying at UNLV, and how she just got here a few months ago and is really happy to be working at such a nice place. Plus, she shared, in very explicit terms, why hookers grossed her out. It was quite hilarious. We played way too much poker, and got way too many drinks (I think I overdosed on Quinine), but we were having a blast, and since it was so empty, she spent a lot of time chatting with us. When we were both falling off our chairs, we decided to head back to the MGM and pass out. Hey look, it’s cloudy out today. Who are all these insane people jogging at this hour?

DAY FOUR

I’d like to publicly thank the MGM air raid siren for waking us up two hours into a drunken pass out. Thank god it was only a “minor emergency†probably caused by pigeons sh*tting on the lion’s head or something. Lucky pigeons. Since it was nearing time to check out, I got up, got packed and headed off to play some VP and get a few bloody marys while the guys got ready. After a few really expensive drinks, I was ready to tackle the day. Our flight was in the late afternoon, so we drove over to the Palms to eat some Mexican food by the pool. No sooner had we got there than inclement weather forced ‘em to close the pool, so we had to eat our beans sans titillation.

After some full-pay VP action and a few survival drinks, we headed to the airport, watched some baseball in one of their many fine bars, and flew home. A great bonus on the way home was that the flight wasn’t nearly full and we each moved to our own rows for some well-earned rest.

NOTES
- A lazy river can turn an ordinary pool into nice entertainment.
- Way too many people watch the Sirens of TI show.
- It’s not very convenient to walk to the Wynn, especially if you’re in a hurry to esplanade.
- My VP luck is much better than my craps luck while my BJ luck is so-so.
- The Barbary Coast is a fine, fine establishment.
- There is such thing as a perfect margarita, and it contains over twice the power of mere mortal margaritas.
- If you’re playing BJ at the $5 level, there’s no point in worrying about poor play, since the quality of play is so random.
- Mandalay Bay hires really friendly cocktail waitresses to work the graveyard shift. Okay, at least they hired one.
- It’s fun to fantasize about your baseball team winning the World Series after you placed a sucker bet on ‘em at 200 to 1 odds.
- The Sigma Derby at MGM looks like lots of fun when you’re there with a bunch of really drunk friends.
- I’m going to have to play some poker at the MGM next time—that’s a nice looking new poker room they have, and a good spread of games.
- I think some karaoke took place somewhere on our thir night, but details are hazy. But for some reason, I now know the lyrics to “Simultaneous†by Chef on South Park.
- Lucky me: T-50 with some old college buddies and the UFC fight at the MGM in August!

 

Now that's what I call an outstanding maiden effort! Some real quotable quotes in there too. Love it! Thanks for coming out from behind the curtain of lurkdom (lurkerness?)

You are coming to March Madness, aren't you?

 

Nice work, bageldog. Very entertaining read! Thanks for posting.

 

Two thumbs up on a job well done! Great TR and even better for your first foray into the world of posting. Sounds like you had a great time!

 

Great trip report! It really made me feel lke I was there. Nicely done!

 

Great TR

Thanks, it help fill in the time between trips.

 

That was great! You guys sound like you'd be a lot of fun in Vegas. Sounds like my idea of a perfectly well-spent vacation: Booze, gambling, and more booze! (minus the ogling of "babes", LOL.)

Good report, bageldog!