30 hours of drunken stupidity

The Set-up:
One month ago, I put in my Leave Papers to get Sunday March 20th thru Thursday March 24th off so I could go to MM2. Two weeks ago, my ship’s underway got scheduled to coincide with my Leave period. So I put in for Special Liberty so I could get Monday off and at least spend Sunday and Monday in Las Vegas with my friends. And that was approved….so here we go.

The Trip:
After visiting with my parents, my sister and her husband (and BBQ’ing my famous ribs for dinner) I woke up on Sunday morning after 5 hours of sleep to drive the hour and a half back down to the San Diego Airport. Even with stopping for gas and coffee, I made good time and rolled into the $10 a day parking lot at 6am. The shuttle dropped me off at America West with what I though was plenty of time.
Apparently, a lot of people fly out of San Diego on Sunday mornings. I finally checked in with an hour to go and headed for the security line….that went all the way out the door and halfway down the foot-bridge. Thankfully it just looked worse then it was. I made it through in 30 minutes with enough time to sit on the floor next to my gate and plug my cell phone into the wall to charge the battery and read previous trip reports from other posters. I spent all night on Friday printing out 45 days of reports…which now that I think about it may have been overkill since I was able to read 4 of them before I boarded the plane and promptly fell asleep. I knew it was going to be a good trip when I looked at my boarding pass and saw that I was in the front row! Stoked!

I landed at 9am, and looking like a stupid tourist, had to ask three times where the Las Vegas Speed/Race/Trackway Bar and Grill was so I could up with Becky (CoasterKikky) and her husband before they left on their flight. I was a little late, so we had about 15 minutes to get to know each other and for Becky to buy me my first drink of the trip….a Double Morgan Coke. Thanks again Becky! I then checked in at the Airport. Relatively quick and painless.

I walked out to the taxi stand and walked right into a cab. (My friends said that they had to wait 45 minutes when they landed at 2 that afternoon.) The driver asked what I do, so I told him I was a photographer in the Navy. It turns out that he used to work on Navy ships in Diego Garcia and Guam, so we talked a bit about the different bases. Then he asked if I liked young Asian girls, because he knew how sailors are. Then he gave me his card and said he could get me a girl for $250. (Is the price going down?)
After I told him I only had 30 hours in Vegas and had to meet up with 4 different groups, meeting a girl is low on my list of priorities. Holy Cow was that the wrong thing to say….The dude then turned into the biggest hard-selling used car salesman of hookers. At least we were at the hotel by then.

I walked into my room (11116) at the Flamingo around 10. What the…? I’m never below the 20th floor…and I never overlook the air-conditioning coolers on top of the roof. Oh well. I’m not going to be here long enough to worry about it. I have just enough time to take an hour and a half nap, shave my head, and jump into the shower to wake up before I have to meet my friend at the Garden Bar at noon.

Mike showed up around noon-thirty and said since he hasn’t been to Vegas in 4 years, he was on a mission. Let the drinking begin! Two beers and $60 bucks into the video poker game (one beer and one Long Island and $60 for me) we decided we should go hit Burger King at O’Sheas before we get too smashed. Quick bite, then we go to the bar for drinks. Instead of sitting at a table, he bellies up to the bar.
Oh crap…now we have to play more.

I had on my MM2 T-Shirt, and got plenty of looks (the shirt, not me). The bartender at O’Sheas looked at my shirt and said she didn’t get it. I explained how the Strip is Unincorporated Clark County and not really Las Vegas. I still don’t think she got it. Oh well.

I left my buddy at the bar to go play Blackjack. I bought in for my last $80 that I had on me. It was the hardest working 4 hours just to make a $20 profit. But I didn’t lose…so that’s something. I think it was the only 2 deck $5 table there. I sat down with 3 young ladies who were there for a Bachelor-ette party and were flying out that day. The dealer kept asking them if this was their first time playing. I felt it would benefit the table if I pulled out my strategy card and gave it to them. So I did. Halfway into my run, my friend left to go take a nap. I think the beers were catching up to him. At 4, my other 2 friends finally landed, called, and met me at O’Sheas….It could have been Casino Royale….this is where I start having gaps in my memory.

Mike was dead to the world and slept right through our phone calls, so Jim, Donna, and I went for dinner at the Outback Steakhouse. The lobster was great, and I had a Cadillac Margarita that damn near put me over the top. I don’t even think I finished it because I still wanted to be standing for the 5 O’clock Barbary Coast meet.

5:15 I finally meet the group at Barbary Coast. I have a shot of jaegermeister and a beer and start feeling it immediately. So much for staying sober and not making a jack-ass out of myself until after this gang breaks up. Everyone in the group was awesome, and just made me wish that I could have been there earlier or stayed longer. Somewhere near the end of meet, Bosco and I walked over to the Blackjack Pit to check on our comps. When we came back, half the group had broken up…but worst of all…the drinks that we were making our way through and left on top og the slot machines were GONE! NOOOOOOOOOO! You probably could have heard me all the way downtown.

At this point, time is irrelevant, so there will be no more times.

Bosco and I decided that we would go see if we could find him a cheap craps table, so we decided to wander/stumble over to IP to meet up with Mikey and the gang. After a quick stop in the Flamingo to let my friends know I’m still alive and kickin’ we head off. Somewhere in front of Flamingo/Imperial Palace, I stop Bosco and tell him to look mean while I tell the Porn-Slapper I’ll give him $20 for his STRIPPERS TO YOUR ROOM shirt. Porn-Slapper dude says $25. I’m too drunk to argue and borrow $5 from Bosco that I just remembered I never paid back. Sorry Bosco….I’ll get you back next year. *A note to the wise…if you can finagle a shirt of a porn-slapper, you should wash it before you wear it.

We walked into the IP, where I stopped and modeled my shirt in front of the internet cam that they have at the front door. Bosco wouldn’t let me moon the cam, and I’m still a little bitter about that.

We found the group at a $10 craps table and bought in for $100, even though I told the whole group at Barbary Coast NOT to let me near a craps table. Thanks guys! Stupid Craps! I can’t remember if we even lasted long enough for 2 beers before we were both broke and went up to Bosco’s room for more money.

I called my friends up and told them we’d be at Casino Royale and they should meet us there. I grabbed a seat at the Switch Blackjack table while Bosco tried to find his way into the insanely crowded craps table.

* Casino Royale is one big blur to me so I’m not even going to try to make stuff up. I lost track of the MM2 group when I looked for them to say good-bye, and they were no where to be found. Of course I could have walked right by them and not even known it by that time. At maybe 1:30 am, my friends found me and we all went back to the Flamingo. They went to go play Video Poker, and me….feeling no pain decided I was going to play poker ONLY until 3. Yeah right.

This was only my 4th time playing poker in a casino, so I expect to lose. It’s kinda like the school of hard knocks. I sat down next to this lady who was playing with her 4 friends…and she was not a happy person. Just plain mean and bitter, cussing under her breath, ragging on the other players….a real fun person to sit next to. An hour later, she ordered a shot of jaegermeister. WAIT! Hold the phone! You can take shots in the Poker room? Give me a shot too! So we did a shot of jaeg together, and ever since that she was my best friend….for better or worse.

My friends came by to say goodnight to me around 3, and we’d meet for lunch the next day. Okay, but I SWEAR I’m going to bed in an hour.

Usually, on a $100 buy in, I can last about 8 hours….but I was on a mission and didn’t have the time. So I didn’t play as tight as I should have…which hurt me. Somewhere from Casino Royale to the Flamingo I sobered up, so when I started playing poker I drank like a fiend…Keoki Coffee (3), Morgan Diet Cokes (7?), Jaeg (3), plus whatever I don’t remember. I should have stopped drinking when I was sitting at the end of the table with pocket aces and turned a set on the river. Boy did I bet into that big boy being the high hand of the table. Except that the Ace I saw on the river was really a 4! WHAT? Stupid drunk son of a……..but it gets better.

The table opened up around 4 so we all had to move to other tables. My jaegermeister partner-in-crime called me over to her table…probably because she saw me as easy money. So I sit down to this jack-ass who thinks he’s God’s gift to poker…trying to read everybody’s cards out loud, swearing when he loses,
All in all, not a fun person to be next to. A new dealer showed up, looked at me, and said, “You come here a lot don’t you?†I remembered her, but I haven’t been there for 3 months…I can’t imagine she’d remember me….especially since I’m so quiet and shy in groups….

After I make a bathroom break, I buy in for $60 (maybe 80) more.
I don’t even care about the game any more….I just want to see jack-ass lose all his money. And you know what? It was worth the extra money just to see his little temper tantrum because he misread the other player. I guess I showed him, huh?

Somewhere down the line I find myself playing for a huge pot because I have a low straight flush, A-5 of spades. I should have left L O N G ago when the stupid birds started chirping outside….but back to the drunken story. It’s about 7am, and I’m looking at my straight flush. I’m trying so hard not to show any emotion. We turn over our cards, and I say “straight flush!.†They all look at me and laugh. I look down, and my 2 of spades became a 7 of spades. I was beat by a stupid higher flush. That’s when I knew I was too drunk, and I should go to my room.

7:30am, I try to come into my room quietly, but mike is already awake. We talk for a little bit, and he say’s it’s amazing but I don’t look or sound drunk. I say something about rolling over and passing out before I have to get up at noon for lunch.


Mike, Donna, Jim and me all meet at Outback again for lunch. It was a good meal, but a little heavy on my still drunk/hung-over stomach.

I left them to go stand in the outrageously long taxi line at the Flamingo. I don’t think there was a taxi to be found. An hour later, as I pull up to the airport, I had already resigned myself to getting the later flight. But luck was with me as I used one of the stand alone check-in kiosks and was through security in about 10 minutes.

As I was getting on the plane, I got a phone call from my Supervisor at work saying we wouldn’t be going out to sea on Tuesday as planned, but probably on Wednesday. I went to morning quarters on Tuesday only to have them say that there is a problem with one of the boilers, and we won’t be getting out to sea at all this week. WHAT?! Are you freakin’ kidding me?! I could have stayed the whole week. Bummer. So I turned in my leave paper and got Wednesday and Thursday off. I though about driving back out there for the night, but thought better of it. Instead, I sat at home, read trip reports, got drunk, and drunk dialed everybody in my phone book. Sorry. You know who you are…..

That was one quick 30 hours.

 

Whirlwind tour, Larry...but don't you wish that call from your supervisor had come just ONE HOUR earlier??!!

 

Dude! Next time for sure we need more than a 15 minute quickie (with my hubby sitting there no less!)

Your tale of drunken buffoonery about equalled mine.

Ouch!

 

Wow Larry! Good memory for staying pretty wasted.

You should have called me and I would have driven out with you for the rest of the week. And I would get you your first shot of Jaeg...

This weekend I hope to be in Primm. Maybe you should take that drive you talked about.

 

Tonya, what day will you be in Primm. We are at the Gold Stike tomorrow night (13 miles from Primm?)
We will leave for the Plaza on Friday morning from the Gold Strike. Breakfast on us if you can make it to the GS Friday morning or drinks on us if you can do it on Thursday night. DonD

 

Damn Don, if I didn't have to be back at work on Friday, I'd dress up in a blond wig and meet you on Thursday and Friday.

Jack- My timing was all off this weekend. I just wish I got that call when I was already home, instead of waiting in line to board the plane...you know what I mean?

Damnit Tonya, where were you last night when I needed you? Oh wait....I should have posted my report earlier, huh?

And Kikky> I definatly need to see you in all your glory.....um....drunken glory that is. Tee hee....usually I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, but sitting there with your husband watching us made me a little uncomfortable. I'll work on that for next time.....

 

Nice 30 hours in Vegas! I couldn't have done it better myself! It was great meeting you!

 

Don we won't be at Primm until Saturday afternoon. But thanks for the offer. To make up for it I'll have one "on me" for you.

Larry...you need to change your countdown clock....IT'S WRONG! You are supposed to party with me between June 2-8 before you head out. Make your plans....or you will have to crash on the hotel floor. I'm bringing the "rita's" and Jaeger.

 

HHMMMMM.....never let it be said I turn down Jaegers&Ritas. Besides...my birthday is June 1st. Plans are in the making as I write this.

And are you gonna have one on me for you...wait...one on me for me....one on you for me...one on you for.....oh forget it. One what on who where for what? And I never even made it on that damn stupid monorail! GRRRRRrrrrrrrr

 

Well Larry, I'll have one on you and you have one on me. I think that sounds just about right. Maybe even two...

 

Wow dude, you packed alot in after we met.

"A note to the wise…if you can finagle a shirt of a porn-slapper, you should wash it before you wear it"

I'm laughing out loud here - that's just hillarious!! Hopefully next time you can make it for the full trek.

 

So much for Larry's "I'm never going to drink again" promise. Actually, that lasted longer than I thought it would

 

Dude, do you think you could have packed any more into that 30 hours? Somebody's been taking some time management classes It was so great to meet you. To bad your stay was so short, but at least I didn't have to meet you for 15 minutes at the airport That was great. I hope we can meet up another time. You would definitely be fun to party with.

Smooth Sailing

 

Great 30 hours Larry! Too bad we didn't get more time at BC to chat! Jaegerbombers on me next time!

 

Now *that's* making the most of 30 hours.

I'm jealous you scored a Porn Slapper's shirt. My boyfriend has been trying to get one for a buddy of ours the last few trips out there. I'm gonna give it a shot this time!

 

Great report Surfer,

Looks like you got your moneys worth in that 30 hours

 

Yeah...um, I'm starting to re-think that whole scoring a porn slapper's shirt thing.

Sure, it smells funky...and it makes for a good challenge and an even better trip report...but what the hell am I going to do with it now?

Maybe I should auction it off to finance my next trip in June/July. Do I hear 2 bits and a pocket full of belly-button lint? Anyone? RamBill?

[ March 25, 2005, 04:58 PM: Message edited by: sanonofresurfer ]

 

Larry (surfer),

It was great to meet and party with you at the BC.
You are one crazy MoFo and I mean that in a good way. I don't think anybody could find a better dude to party with. You had me laughing like hell.... Young Typh is a hottie isn't she....

Was that your Watermelon Martini that was sitting there all be it's lonesome, that I scooped after the photos? I thought you had one? I was under the impression it was Jack21 who passed on it as he was flying out that night.

Anyway, it was fun..... you would surely be able to drink me under the table about 4 times over....I'd be in the hospital if I consumed what you did in 30 hours.

It was a blast........sorry I didn't get that "Drunk Phone Call" done that you were so badly wanting to receive......hee hee

Safe travels when you ship sets sail again. Hopefully someday our paths will cross again.

RossW

[ March 30, 2005, 07:53 AM: Message edited by: RossW ]

 

Man, wish I coulda been there....

Glad it was fun, and sometime you just gotta be that way for 30 hours... I was for 36!!!!

 

Somehow I missed this one the first time 'round... wish I could have been there for the "straight flush". Priceless. Although if it makes you feel any better, I've seen a "poker pro" turn over a four-card straight on TV.

Excellent running into you at the madness, if only for a short time.

[ March 30, 2005, 11:06 AM: Message edited by: doctor_al ]