November 13-16. Well, almost

I have never written a trip report, and not sure how this one will turn out. I feel like I owe a report since I have enjoyed so many of yours, so here it goes. Hope it’s not too long and someone will find it amusing. It might be helpful to know who went on this trip. The characters in this story are Joe and Felicia who are our best friends, my wife Maria, and of course, me. We booked our trip through Funjet who use Ryan International as the air carrier.

The trip didn’t start out too promising. I worked half a day, which meant I had 3 junior high History classes to get through. I went home, changed and met up with my wife who had an early morning dentist appointment. Felicia picked us up and we headed to Joe’s office to pick him up. We arrived at the airport around 3:00 p.m. for our 5:30 flight. First win of the trip, we are first in line for check in and get the seats we want…SCORE! Now it gets fun. As the plane pulls into the gate to pick us up, the ground crew guy directing the plane pulls it in too close and the engine receives a dent by hitting the jet way. We are told that it will take about an hour to assess the plane so we head back to the bar for another round of $5 beers. We are already missing Vegas where the beer is “freeâ€. Two hours later they tell us this plane is not airworthy and will not be going anywhere. They say not to panic because another plane will be brought in from Arkansas. Instead of arriving at 6:45 we will be in Vegas by 10:00. We are getting a little concerned, but no big deal; let’s go have dinner. After an expensive airport dinner, we go and wait for the plane. 1 ½ hours after we were due to take off, and still no plane, they inform us that the plane won’t be coming because it had engine problems and had to return to Arkansas. We are to come back to the airport at 7:00 a.m. for a 9:00 departure. We were given hotel vouchers and sent off to bed. I felt like a 5 year old who was just told that there would be no Christmas this year. Maria got a little put out with my pouting, but I couldn’t help it, I was supposed to already be in Vegas and I was down $100 from eating and drinking at the airport. I forgot to mention that just as we returned from eating, they decide to hand out meal vouchers. @#$%@&*^ We arrive back at the airport at 6:45 only to find that just about everyone else is already there. I will cut to the chase, we were supposed to leave at 9:00 a.m. with a 9:45 arrival in Las Vegas. We are finally airborne at 11:30 and arrive at 11:45. For our trouble Funjet has promised a $50 per person voucher for a future trip, free round trip airfare for anywhere Funjet flies out of Texas, and reimbursement for the night we didn’t use at the Vegas hotel. We’ll see if that happens. Its hard to believe them after all the misinformation they gave us at the airport.

We are finally here!!!! Vegas baby, VEGAS!!! We head to the Four Queens and check in and of course head straight for the Golden Gate. We have our shrimp cocktails and a liquid cocktail—Things are looking up. We spend the rest of the afternoon roaming around Fremont St. We, of course, stop in at the Bayou and have a drink. After the second casino things begin to get blurry, REALLY blurry. As far as gambling goes I couldn’t win anything and my wife couldn’t loose. She put some money in some slot machine while I checked in and won $175 (winnings will be the “profit†or money above and beyond what we put in.) She proceeds to play on and pay for dinner on that $175 for the rest of the night!! If I had put $1 in a Coke machine I would have lost, so I didn’t gamble Friday, I just drank, which is why Friday is sooo blurry. We have prime rib at the California, which was quite good. Evening finds us at one of our favorite haunts, the Omaha Lounge at the Plaza watching the Sunspots. I say watching the Sunspots, but what I really mean is watching the folks who watch the Sunspots! I have not seen any lounge act with as faithful and as OLD of groupies as these guys have. For some reason, me being the chick magnet that I am, every time we are there someone’s grandmother hits on me. Maria is no help. Instead of bailing me out with her arm around me, or glaring at the offending geriatric, she actually encourages it just to watch me squirm. This trip was not to disappoint. This time a particularly sexy senior named Faye sets her cataract clouded eyes on me and will not be swayed! Let me describe my would be suitor. She was in a scooter, which she could handle very nicely. I admired her driving skills. She could whip in and out of the tiniest of spaces. Her only mishap was while backing into her spot she hit the chair of the 85 year old lady behind me. This poor lady had a cast on her foot and had it propped up on a chair, Faye gets her back wheel tangled in this chair. As she pulled forward, she jerked the chair out from under this poor lady’s broken foot. Undeterred, Faye continues to chew her gum, smoke her cigarette and sway to the beautiful strains of the Sunspots tribute to the Righteous Brothers. Of course every couple minutes she turns around to look at me and ask me why I am not making requests. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that my only request was for her to turn around. But, God love her, she was having fun. Joe, Felicia and Maria were also quite amused. I must admit, she was eating out of my hand by the end of the night, but alas, we had to leave. So, with visions of me sitting on Faye’s lap as we scootered off to her room, I stumbled out of the Plaza and headed to the El Cortez for some $1 craps. Wow! I love the ElCO as we called it. We played craps and watched the 70-year-old cocktail waitress abuse the customers for about 3 hours. Maria finally played craps and on her virgin dice roll she made me about $75! After the emotional rollercoaster ride at the airport and the heartbreak of leaving Faye at the Plaza, we decided to call it a night. Here ends Day one in Las Vegas.

Day two starts out great. The girls go to the Orleans for a massage and facial. I need to tell you that the reason for this trip was to celebrate my wife’s completion of her Master’s degree. The massage and facial were a gift from me. Well, that’s what I told her, truth is, Joe and I would have paid twice the amount to have the uninterrupted gambling time. SWEET! Joe and I had champagne brunch at the Main Street Station. I am sure we looked like we were on a date, how many other guys have champagne brunch together? But I digress! After eating, I put $20 in a nickel Hollywood Squares slot. Whoopi and I won $160. My luck has changed!!! After the hand pay, Joe and I leave the Station and, you guessed it, we headed back to the El CO!!!! The homeless guy next to me and I made about $100 before Maria called and said the Massage was over and come meet them at the 4-Queens. We meet up with the girls and make the cab ride to the strip for our traditional strip casino crawl. We get out at Slots-a-Fun (I guess you can tell we are really high rollers) and I make another $35 at the $3 blackjack table. We head to TI (ugly sign), where we go to Kahunaville for a cocktail. We then ride the tram to the Mirage. We don’t spend much time there and head on to the Bellagio. The conservatory was beautiful, the glass sculture on the ceiling was impressive, but I am getting thirsty. We continue heading south. We are making our way to the MGM. I complained about the walk and how the desert air was sucking the alcohol right out of my body, but Maria was undeterred. See, she has to play the Majestic Lion slots on every trip. She sees these slots as her Vegas ATM machine. We finally arrive at the MGM and head to her bank of slots where she donates $100 to the casino. I TOLD her it was too far to walk. Felicia and Joe were still playing, and Joe had just won $300, so while they are arguing over whether to cash out or take the winnings (Felicia always says cash out, Joe is always expecting a bigger pay out, they have this same argument at every table, or machine at every casino we go to. Its really rather cute--------NOT!) I put $40 in the machine next to Joe just so I can sit and offer my drunken comments to keep the argument interesting. As I am egging them on I notice 3 lions on the pay line of my Machine after only 2 pulls!! My credits soar up to $236 credits! Maria, who is the opposite of Felicia is now standing behind me saying play it down to $200 even before cashing out, God Bless her!! A few pulls later, 3 different lions appear on the payline and my credits soar to a mind numbing $501! I cash out, and give Maria $100 to replace her loss. We have stuck it to the MGM; anyone owning stock, you may want to sell. Our next stop was Paris for another tradition. Joe and I ALWAYS have a martini or two, or three at the lounge with the big tree in it. This time Maria and Felicia join us. Aided by the giddiness of our MGM win, we sit and listen to the band who were quite good. I think they played all 70’s and 80’s music, but after 3 martinis, who knows? They could have been singing big band hits from WWII, but whatever it was, they were GOOD!

We stumble out of Paris and head to our next destination: Ellis Island. Man, what a classy joint! We had the steak special and from what I remember, it was quite good. I do know that I couldn’t finish it or the microbrew that I bought for $1. We decide that Ellis Island is not up to our standards and want some place classier, of course we decide to cab it back to the palatial El Cortez for more highstakes craps. An interesting side note; our taxi driver from Ellis Island to the El Cortez was one of the drivers on Taxi Cab confessions. For those of you who watch the show, she was the driver who picked up the 35 year old virgin from the hopsital. She made the trip interesting by telling us stories about filming the series, obviously we were boring because she didn't film us. We finally arrived at the El Cortez where I proceeded to lose $75. The streak is officially over. Maria and I made our way through the “interesting†neighborhood to the 4-Queens. The end of our last night in Vegas officially came at 4:00 a.m. I asked for a 7:00 wakeup call and sadly stumbled into bed.

Our last morning in Vegas fit our mood: cold, gray, and rainy. We walked to the Golden Gate for the $1.99 breakfast special. It was good and filling. We headed back to the 4-Queens to check out and catch a cab. Nothing interesting happens after that. (Some of you may be thinking that nothing interesting happened at all). Our return flight was on time and smooth. I guess it was smooth; I was asleep before they closed the airplane door.

A few final thoughts (this seems to be an obligatory section of all trip reports). First, the 80’s are alive and well in Las Vegas. Every casino we went into had 80’s music playing over the sound system, and many had lounge acts that played 80’s music. We saw “Loveshack†on the Fremont Street stage one night, for the life of me I can’t remember what night and where we had been, but I do remember they were great, they did a rousing cover of Beastie Boys “You Gotta Fight For Your Right to Party†I remember singing along with them. Another observation, is, what happened to the cheap cocktails at the downtown bars? Golden Gate cocktail bar used to have $1 cocktails, now they are $2.50, and The Plaza is downright expensive at $3. Cocktail service seemed to be slow everywhere. The strip was no better than downtown as far as efficient cocktail service. We had a great trip, I know this doesn’t sound like it, but I am not nearly as good as Mikey at telling a story, but hey, who is? The best thing was that I boarded the plane with the exact amount of cash as I left the house with!! To me, that is a great trip. Thanks for reading; I hope I didn’t put anyone to sleep. I am really missing Faye about now!

[ November 17, 2003, 10:37 AM: Message edited by: VegasDon ]

 

Don,
What a bummer about the plane and losing time in Vegas.! Great report..
If I bump into Faye next week, I'll let her know you are missing her

sunni

T-6 I can't stand it !!

 

I thought that was a great first trip report. I like to stay Downtown when I go to Vegas, so I really loved reading your report. How did the girls like their massage and facial? That's one thing I'm doing next time I go!! I'm going to try the Golden Nugget Spa hopefully. Glad you had fun.

 

If you bypass the dollar craps table at Slots-A-Fun for a $3 one, you're a high-roller in my book, Don.

 

Pezarino,

The girls LOVED their massage. My wife said it was one of the most relaxing things she's done. I had originally wanted to book them at the Golden Nugget, but since we weren't staying there, they wouldn't take an advance reservation. When I called the Orleans they were very nice and very helpful since I do not know much about spas.

Dr. Al, the only reason I bypassed the $1 craps at Slots-a-fun was because they were about 3-deep. Just no room at all.

Thanks to those who read my report. Its really hard to get back to work. Luckily, I have a trip to New Orleans to plan for next month! That helps a little.

 

Great report, Don!!!

Sorry you had so much trouble getting there, I would have been quite pissed myself.

I keep hearing things about those Majestic Lions slots; may have to try them this next trip.

I'm T-:

 

Really enjoyed that trip report!
I went to the Orleans spa in July for a massage and it was incredible. Their prices were the best of any hotel & casino spa that I could find- by a lot. Worth the trip over there to check out the orleans and get a great treatment for less $$.

I've been hearing about these Majestic Lion machines- I hope they're still there when I go in January!

Thanks for the report!

 

Those of you interested in the Majestic Lions, you have to play the machines that are all together. They have lots of them spread throughout the casino, but you want the group of them. Just ask any security guard or change person, they know exactly what you are talking about....Good Luck!!!

 

Well done on the trip report. That's my kinda trip. Though I am sorry to hear about the downtown drink prices.

The first time I ever went inside the Plaza, maybe 5 years ago, I was playing blackjack with my back to the band. Was paying no attention to them, until I heard a fairly decent Louis Armstrong impression..."What A Wonderful World." Turned around and saw this group of Filipino dudes, and just started laughing. One of those "only in Vegas" moments!

G.

 

I've also heard that "those Filipino dudes" (Sunspots) do a mean rendition of "Hava Nagilah"!

 

I can believe it! I try to catch them at least for a little while on every trip now.

Rock on, Sunspots.