BeeeJay's April Trip Report

more details from last night:

basically got CRUSHED on roulette, won on craps, and had enough good hits on video poker to keep me down $1,000 rather than a shitload, or as the baby says on the E Trade ad, A PANTLOAD.

So here the detailed story:

Around 9:20am yesterday (thurs) my 11:30am limo arrives. weird.

I was watching some tivo'd shows and noticed my tivo is now offering free prostituion services:




anywho I do my crap around the house and head out at 11:30 straight up. No worries. Traffic is heavy and we get to Ed Lovers around the time expected, but sometimes its too early cause you gotta plan for bad traffic.





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I text Ed Lover that we are here and he askes if I would like a sloppy joe. WTF? I text back "do you mean a tammy jo sloppy ho?" which is a chick I used to date, "or an actual sandwich".

anyway he comes down with half a sandwich. i needed that as i hadn't eaten all day. lol.

we head to midway shortly, the traffic was bad so we were glad we were just bs'ing in the limo, it was a great day to not have to drive.



we get to the airport, checkin, usual bs. short lines, short like your penis. nono::evillaugh j/k haha....geez too much time bs'ing with the guys last night. We only had time for a burger at Miller's Pub and one drink. While Ed Lover bought the food, I hit the bar for his bombay sapphire tonic and my goose n soda. the lady was giving me the usual id run around and I had to go grab eds. she asked some funny question and I said "i dont know, blame it on the alcohol"...but I trailed off into my best t-Pain voice. she says here is your goose to get loose. LOL. that would be the start of a "blame it on the al al al al cooooohol baby" kinda day!



ok next thing you know we are on one of the bumpiest takeoffs ever.

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luckily for us there is plenty of fun company and hookers and blow aboard the flight (yeah i already put this in earlier, but this is where it fits the story)

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we had a fun flight with our seat neighbors



we drank it up nicely on the flight, I had 4 finlandias with lo carb monster, nothing outrageous (now 5 drinks in)

after landing we met our driver and then saw the ladies we partied with on the flight gettng their bags and talking about taxi vs. limo. We put a quick halt to that as Jason had missed his flight we had plenty of room and invited them to join us after approving with the driver. they were stying at harrah's and us at Palazzo, so it was ez drop off.....they helped us successfully pound 2 bottles of champagne---much of it "skin absorbed". (now 7 drinks in, but whose counting).

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So the boyz get checked in at Palazzo, easy like Gaggles and his cats on sunday morning.:Þ

drop the shit in the room and it is ON BITCHES!!!!

get my freeplay and pop it into a machine, get some nice hits and ride it out into this:



quad deuces straight away to start the trip...NICE START!!!!

then we walked over to TI for that check-in and got some pics on the strip:



got the room and blew the promo chips, won two blacks on roulette but reinvested the winnings on an attempt at a straight up number.

then we walked down to Harrah's diamond lounge.





then over to Bellagio, this pic of ed and hotties on escalator on the way:



then we checked in at the bellagio, got a little gamble on at the video poker bar with our buddy Paul the bartender setting us up P H A T fat as usual.

We were hungry to we decided to hit Fix about 830 for our 9 res. it was busy enough but no prob they got us in quickly.

We ordered the lobster tacos and chili cheese fries with two grape apes for app and drinks to start. actually i ordered for the both of us and told ed lover i was going to make him my bitch this trip!:evillaugh



drinks, apps, and the ever gay "still" water were all fantastic just like last time with gaggles and his friends. we proceeded to order dinner, both going with the filet oscar (king crab meat atop)..mine medium, ed lovers medium rare. i added the fried macaroni and cheese while he sadly, gayly, and mistakenly added asparagus....which...we.. never...touched. lol.

ok ok i ate one asparagus, sue me, i might want to see my youngest sons preschool graduation before my wife hires an actuary to confirm her long-standing suspicions that the present value of my future earnings is nearing the break even point with my life insurance proceeds and starts feeding me the anti freeze in a gatorade bottle. never trust an actuary with anti freeze. but i digress.

ok where were we. oh yeah. i had to take a piss while waiting for the entree. I pissed away $500 at a roulette spin...lol. that would be a theme for the evning, trust me!

so we finish eating and head over to Bally's to say hi to stefani. she is on her 1 hour break so I blow some cash at ms stub. did hit a nice straight with quarter bet and $150 out for $600 but blew it all back in on roulette. could Not BUY a 17!!!

shortly we get the call from that canadian MOUNTIE Jason and he has finally arrived like 7 hrs late or what have you. we cab from ballys to TI and our cab pulls up right behind his. I get out and say "excuse me sir, i wanted to apologize we are heterosexual but we accidently used your cab line for gay resort guests"...as i motioned towards Jason. LOL. :evillaugh

that was classic as many of the nearby dudes laughed, or could that be that i was handing $2 to each of them? anyway I quickly notice that jason has lost like 40 lbs and does look in good neough shape almsot to be a gay guy now.

ok so we head in and give him the keys to take his stuff upstairs. meanwhile we notice the hottest skinny chick in a slinky mettalllic dress. damn she was hot, i was ready to "tip" her if ya know what I mean.

OK so i send the spank-wheat up to unload his gay porn mags and I sit at a row of freak show video poker and buy in $300. I have no idea how these games work but it goes well:



very welll



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ok i really have to take a shit before ed lover defiles the washroom...dont wanna lose all this so gonna post and finish up in a minute

 

jesus H, talk about a PANTLOAD!

I sincerely hope Ed Lover doesn't need to use the pisser any time soon!!! :evillaugh

ok so where was I? just hit the big win at TI and it was time for T-Pain and the boys, about a dozen drinks in, to continue to blame it on the alcohol.

We head downtown to meet my buddy Parley at Golden Gate. He is withi his just turned 21 son who I guess he must have had in junior high. haha. oh well nice work the only thing I could have impregnated at that age was a slick-paged 1982 Girls of The Big 8 edition Playboy. Whew thank god for those slick pages, without the internet those magazines were like gold:

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....and I use them a lot?
How do you "use" a nudie book?
I was gettin' to that, see this guy taught me something really neat last year...:evillaugh

ok so anyway, again I apologize for my digression and indescretion and any other "...ions" I might be missing.

We had a kick-ass run on the craps table with our crew. I was playing $10 on the line and $100 behind and points of 5, 9 and 10 were being made. everyone made a couple points. i went into carny bet nirvana and still cashed out ahead.

was getting very shaky so headed over to video poker. was getting spanked, then took a break to watch hte teeety pit dancers and have a diet coke. they were hot. tried to take a crap in their bathroom but even the poo refused to enter that rathole washroom.:evillaugh

back to VP bar, finally ed lover and jason moseyed on over. and I finally hit some quads to stay alive:



then nailed premium quads:



jason also got very excited after playing quarter VP forever he bumped up to dollar and was dealt trip 2's. then he drew 2-4 for an $800 hit!!! he was buying us unwanted rounds of jager bombs. i had just told that poor bastard it was HIS TIME. F#@$%$% I shoulda told him it was MY TIME!!! oh well, nice to see the canadians win a good one.

so we bailed for Palazzo where I blew my winnings and some of my bankroll making a run at a $75 #17 hit. closest I got was a #32 with $20 on it, eventually blew some money into $5 VP before bed.

funniest thing was this d bag who bet $100 straight up on red.....he put down cash, they chipped him, but htye put the chip on black. black hits. he says FUDGE and his girlfriend smacks him for being a dumbass and blowing the cash. they leave. uh dude the dealer accidnetly put your money on black...which eveyrone else was betting on.....well except me who was betting $300 a spin on numbers like a dumbass. lol

so Jason headed out to O sheas with his newly minted $1K of winnings and I went to bed with my $1K of losses. tough to post during day, will hope to post tonight. getting ready to head over to Encore to register for my dice invitational where I will be winning $100K which should accelarate the downward spiral of degeneracy to a "leaving las vegas" level for me in short order. evillaughevillaugh

cheers mo fos....wish you were all here!!!

ps....hey forgot about our sneak into Bellagio VIP for drink. we taught an old australian couple the ropes on that one. classic and best drink i've had all trip!

 

ehh, mere peons being down 1k... we expect you to be down 10k by sunday, that's when the magic happens... g/l keep em coming.

 

My favorite line so far, possibly from any of your trips? Best..rant..ever...

"ok ok i ate one asparagus, sue me, i might want to see my youngest sons preschool graduation before my wife hires an actuary to confirm her long-standing suspicions that the present value of my future earnings is nearing the break even point with my life insurance proceeds and starts feeding me the anti freeze in a gatorade bottle. never trust an actuary with anti freeze. but i digress."

Nice touch giving a ride to the family from the plane. Why can't I every find a Vegas Sugar Daddy with a limo when I'm there, huh?

I'm sure it will bring you good karma!

 

Right side of BeeJays post cut off WTF???

I cannot read the right side of the posts. I try to reduce the window size and pull the right side out, but it only opens a little.
Help anyone?

 

He posted some pictures that are pushing the right side out and your monitor or browser isn't handling it.

It'll clear itself up when the thread gets onto the next page.

 

Sooo this haha


Great reports so far BJ, brightened up my afternoon. Best of luck for the rest of the weekend!!!

 

Thanks Sonja and Chuck, you guys are really on the ball. This is the best administered forum that I frequent (and the most entertaining).
A&E

 

just hit quad 8's at Wynn on $5 for a w-2, put that $1,000 out on a BJ table at Palazzo and bet $275 first hand, got two 6's, dealer shows 6. split, one double, ez $825, over to roulette hit a #20 with $25 on it, cashed out 3 yellows....pics later....Jason waiting for us at the pool.

Back in the BLACK...VEGAS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Nice morning hit. I didn't even catch the E-Trade baby referring to a "pantload". My two year old told me this morning that he "didn't drop a duece". My wife was not pleased.

 

Great comeback! Keep it going!

 

Enjoying It So Far...

I know we have gotten used to "instant" reports and that you said they'd be a bit slower this time...but you are doing a great job so far!!

Glad things turned for the better this morning...hope it continues!!

 

All is now right and correct in the Vegas world.

 

I have the same problem and haven't been able to figure it out. Help!!

 

Sonya was kind enough to send me a message telling me to go into my computer settings and reducing the screen resolution. It worked for me, though it did distort things a bit. Well worth it in my opinion to live vicarously through a degenerate chaser like BeeJay (no insult intended-may I be able to indulge my gambling jones one day as you do BeeJay).

 

It happens cause Beeej's posting on the fly and probably doesn't always have time to set the resolution of his pictures small enough to prevent it. It'll only affect the page(s) in the thread that have wide pictures. This issue isn't unique to this board; it affects pretty much all php-based boards.

If you run across it, you can also go into your User Control Panel (look for the link "User CP" under the banner ad at the top of the page, then look on the left for Settings & Options / Edit Options, and click on Edit Options. Scroll down and look for the "Thread Display Options". Set "Number of posts to display per page" to 5 or 10 - that will limit the number of posts that are affected. But it will also increase the number of pages the thread takes up, so where I might show 20 pages, you'll show 80.

Then you can go back and change it back to the board default when the TR is done.

There's actually a ton of ways you can customize the settings - just make sure you remember what you changed so you can set it back if it doesn't end up looking the way you wanted.

The boards defaults work for me 99.999% of the time - it's the occasional pic that throws things out of whack.

And I agree with Aces & Eights - this board is very well maintained and moderated and it's reflected in the quality of the clientele, or at least the way they post here. I dick around on a lot of other boards, but I (mostly) refrain from being a dick here.

NOW WHERE'S THE $5 QUAD 2's w/ KICKER, DAMMIT?

This craps tourney is gonna be awesome, win or lose...

 

Well, I would just add that you guys absolutely correctly perceive your audience and so manual moderation when needed is minimal, which is as it should be for a Vegas-oriented board. Because of that, the users self-police.

Not to make it a lovefest while we wait for the latest degeneracy, but I've participated in hundreds of boards and run several and this is easily one of the best in terms of usability, layout, and the value of the info. That kind of quality is always in danger, but you've managed to keep it up as long as I've been watching (3 yrs or so), so kudos.

 

An easy way to cure the right side of the post being cut off is to select thread tools, printable version.....the only problem with that method is you then have to click the picture link as it doesn't auto display but it's much easier to read that way.