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Lineage - A Trip Report (7/6 - 7/13)

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by FormallyTD, Jul 5, 2021.

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  1. FormallyTD

    FormallyTD Big Time

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    My Trip Report

    Folks,

    I reside off the base of the Southwest Mountains of Central Virginia. We’re a simple people and it’s a tight-knit community. In fact, it sure seems like everybody seems to know what everybody else is up to in these parts. News spreads quickly, rumors start a-swirlin’ and the gossip spreads like a western wildfire.

    Why just the other day I was at the local YMCA finishing off my daily 90 minute Bowflex routine. After I changed back into my favorite attire, I ran into Trixie, one of the local neighborhood brats.
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    It wasn’t a bad question from the little shit. It would normally be something very difficult to put into words so that the average Joe could/would understand, but it all became so clear after I bought me a 23andMe start-up kit last month.

    “It’s in my blood, Trixie. Las Vegas is a ranch I was born to roam because of my ancestry. It’s all due to lineage.”

    It all started with TD BC, a Caucasoid who ruled our Paleolithic prairies during the days of the Triceratops.
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    With the assistance of legendary linguist Noam Chomsky, it was determined that this strange language could be translated as ‘Desert, Alcohol & Chinatown.’

    I then saw a lot of similarities between myself and my Great Great Granddaddy TD.
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    He was shot in the face at a saloon up in Wind River Range of the great state of Wyomin’, which was a tragic fate for a man who overcame so much during his life (like, say, his obvious case of Jaundice, there).

    My Great Grandfather TD tried to survive The Great Depression the best way he could. That meant he was boinkin’ my Great Grandmoms early and often. He never could keep it in his trousers even though he never seemed to have more than thirty five cents at a time and he never used any of them Jimmy Hats, neither.
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    Grandpa TD couldn’t stay away from the action.
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    My dear ol’ Daddy TD had many-a-hobby and covered all of the bases.
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    Uncle TD was the shining star of the family. An entrepreneur like no other in an industry I’ve grown to admire very much over the last decade and a half. We used to call him ‘Unkie Mannequin Hands’ and it was incredible how he taught me that you could get a pretty gal to brush her rump across your face for just a couple of Benjy Franklins.
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    Cousin TD was a true professor. He showed me, at gunpoint, that for a couple extra Ben Frank’s, you could get a pretty girl to do a lot more than sink that butt directly into your nose.
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    Perhaps the greatest influence, however, was my brother. Brother TD.
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    I mean, when he joined the LVMPD Academy back in 1990, it changed my life forever. The fact he continues to reside out in Clark County despite retiring from the Vice Squad has meant the world to me and has given me plenty of contacts anytime there’s a warrant out for my arrest (which has only happened six, seven, eight times, honestly).
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    When you add the family tree up, it’s true when they say the apples never fall very far from the tree, there. No two ways about it and ain’t nobody better doubt it, my man.
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    Circa Panoramic Sunset Suite 7/6 – 7/9

    Alexis FUCKING Park Two Story-Two Bedroom Suite 7/9 – 7/10

    Flamingo Metropolitan Suite 7/10 – 7/13
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    XO
     
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  2. Valgal

    Valgal VIP Whale

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    Good luck. Quite the family tree and heritage you have there. I have a great, great, maybe great Grandpappy that was a bona fide horse thief - got himself hung for it. It caused quite the family hubub when all my aunts were trying to get into the Daughters of the Alamo. They were researching the family tree. They couldn't prove their lineage for it but they did find Great Great grandpa horse thief. :D
     
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  3. HornHighCraps

    HornHighCraps Low-Roller

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    Good luck! Following along.
     
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  4. fcmonk

    fcmonk Low-Roller

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    There are so many great TRs out there lately, but I don’t think it’s overstating things to say that this is the Main Event.
     
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  5. TarainVA

    TarainVA Low-Roller

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    Following. I've been waiting weeks for this...having to amuse myself by going through your past trip reports. I'm fascinated by your meal prep.
     
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  6. JaDubya

    JaDubya High Roller? Nah...just a Roller

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    @FormallyTD - when I read your TRs I always find myself shaking my head thinking “oh no he didn’t!” So damn funny.

    Love your TR introductions. You’re an original.
     
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  7. Mirageluvr

    Mirageluvr Let's Ride!

    Joined:
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    Sick, sad and perverted....I`m in.
     
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  8. jpw711

    jpw711 Is that your cat?

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    Great grandmom"S". That's West Virginia classy right there.

    Damn, you're gonna be there on my birthday in a two story suite. Dibs on the cold tile bathroom floor on the lower level.
     
    No reason to go home yet.
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  9. NittyOne

    NittyOne VIP Whale

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    7C7E8F0D-7D0B-4EDB-9E74-4D4164EB7716.jpeg You alive? The way your Deadwood trip abruptly stopped thought you where dead.

    Figured you ended up like John Reily in Sleepers but instead of, boiler gin it would be Military Special whiskey.

    On June 19, 2021, FormallyTD’s wilted body... was found face up in a Deadwood hotel building... right next to the bottle of Military Special that killed him.
     
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  10. NittyOne

    NittyOne VIP Whale

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    Glad your back at it. A well deserved trip for you, have fun and a always thanks for bringing us along.

    Epic ass intro as always. Like Slash starting up Welcome To The Jungle.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2021
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  11. win4me

    win4me VIP Whale

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    Yay. :popcorn:
     
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  12. NittyOne

    NittyOne VIP Whale

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    Did you bet the Bucks to win the Finals?
     
  13. 3OfDiamonds

    3OfDiamonds Waiting For “Very Good” Video Poker @ Rio…

    Joined:
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    And I thought my lineage was Vegas-y (“Mom’s a dealer, Dad’s a DJ, they had an ill-advised relationship” sung in the key of Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” :goofy::haha:)… nope, you win :nworthy: Have fun :thumbsup: and do what you can to lessen the risk of Vegas babies :nono:
     
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  14. STS05

    STS05 Onward

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    A @FormallyTD trip report?

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    I can’t remember if you’ve posted this on your walks before, but there is a nice little covered walkway between the Venetian and Palazzo that seems to afford quite a bit of privacy for some recreational indulgences. Made me think of you when I was out exploring last month.

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  15. FormallyTD

    FormallyTD Big Time

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    I don't know about how y'all handle your business, but it's 6:30 EST in the AM and I like to treat myself to the finest breakfast just prior to departure.
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    That's two grilled meat wieners and a shot and a half of vodkers.
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    Now it's bathing time so I can smell my best in case I sit next to a real pretty lady...or a congressman.
     
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  16. FormallyTD

    FormallyTD Big Time

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    In a 9 AM drunken stupor during my previous trip in March, I did.
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  17. Jer

    Jer “The Walrus has spoken”

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    Here we go! It’s your day bro, and time to make the magic happen! :thumbsup:
     
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  18. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    @FormallyTD's origin story is better than Wolverine's! :thumbsup:

    Have a great trip!
    Do your family proud! :D

    RICHARD
     
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  19. Vegas24_7

    Vegas24_7 Degenerate

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    That intro..... I don't have the words to describe it. I can't wait for this trip to start.
     
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  20. mike honcho

    mike honcho Low-Roller

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    This will be awesome. Not sure the town has had time to recover from wade and earls crew yet...
     
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