The Journal of Self-Neglect (Live TR 3/22-3/30)

Folks,

It was a very special Christmas at Casa De TD. I personally cut down the Norway Spruce with a handsaw just off of the Blue Ridge Parkway.

The wind was howlin’ up in the high-country that day and it took me nearly fifteen minutes to complete the task with my numb hands, but I persevered and brought that sum’bitch home to be decorated (which always includes my very favorite homemade ornament...reminiscent of a young TD).

I never ask for much from jolly ol’ Saint Nick because I’m more of a giver during the holiday season (pretty much selfish every other part of the year, though), but this year I got all that I asked for.

One Winston Churchill book, one Elizabeth II bookmark, a breathalyzer to monitor my nectar intake, and my mates back in London sent me the British passport I applied for in November.

I don’t know about you, but I like my books to be no more than about 400 pages…and they have to have at least 75 pages worth of pictures in the middle of it, too. Otherwise it’s just too much.

When I was sippin’ on my multiple Old Forester and egg nog’s on Christmas Day, I looked at this Churchill book in complete disbelief. It’s 983 pages and there are only about six pages in the middle of imagery. I calculated that this will take me at least three years to finish and will challenge what little intellect I possess to the nth degree...then I blew a 0.279 in the blood-alcohol analyzer device, to boot.

These TR intros can be a lot like a painfully long novel. I’m here to show the Andrew Roberts’s, the Leo Tolstoy’s and Jesus’s buddy (or whomever wrote the Holy Bible) how to get the story out the right way…without so many words, sentences n’shit.

I take flight from a regional airport to IAD.

I always choose Economy Plus on United when I’m not feeling like a snob and flying First Class. There’s extra room in Economy Plus.

I’ve made it this far and I don’t anticipate contracting these cells that look eerily similar to your canine’s favorite toy.


I had to lift this from the ‘Viva Las Vegas’ trailer. It means absolutely nothing, but Elvis was surely trying to get into Ann Margaret’s undergarments when he shamelessly shot champagne all over her dates sporty blazer.

Hopefully meet some new friends.

Walk The Strip, swig booze.

I like wholesome girls, too…but the book didn’t really offer any insight. From my sad experience, you put a couple Benji’s in an envelope and leave it on a counter and they’ll come over.

Always maintain safe distances (aside from the trashy women).

Donate.

Take the rental on a trip deep into the desert dirt.

Try something new.

Everybody orders room service.

My boy Gary Busey will whip up from Air-mosa Beach, Cali for the weekend. We haven’t been in eachothers loving arms since last years Super Bowl in FEB ’20. Hoping we make up for some lost time by having some fun.

More fun together riding down escalators around town.

More donating.

When I’m unable to donate any longer and broke (probably around THU morn), I’ll just stand uncomfortably close to others and share in their victorious glee like I always do.

Walk around.

Take in the atmosphere.

Leave.

3/22 - 3/23: (Probably should’ve just taken the Mandalay COMP and received an easy upgrade, but decided to try something brand-fuckin’ new) The M (M Resort King)

3/23 – 3/26: El Cortez (Tower Premium) COMP

3/26 – 3/30: Mirage (One BR Tower Suite) Not COMP

Review

XO

 

Love the intro and pics.....following.....have a great time @FormallyTD

 

Can’t wait to hear more about the Mirage, I will be there in May and also staying in a 1br tower suite. Curious how strict/annoying they are being about mask wearing.

we were at Aria in August and they were being crazy strict, like you couldn’t barely take a drink away from your mouth without getting yelled at to put your mask up.

Can’t wait to follow along

 

Hilarious intro! Have a great time, win, and stay safe, TD!

 

Woo hoo! I'll be at Cosmo Mar 27 - 31 maybe we can have a drink and gambol!

 

A TD TR is like a B-12 shot for VMB!!

 

Have fun!

 

Have a great time! Looking forward to your artistic interpretation of the M. That resort seems very photogenic!

 

Have a fun and lucky trip.

 

Dammit, the kid in the lower right is from the Toxic Avenger isn't he? You bastard!

 

Following along.

::buckles seatbelt::

 

Oh hell....I'm in! Let's roll!

 

I cannot match the level of your debauchery (and I mean that in the best of ways) but would happily buy you a drink if our paths cross. Staying on strip but prob gambling downtown 23rd/24th.

regardless best of luck and I love reading these TRs.

 

Nuff said....

 

You've set the intro level so high (thank you!) that the actual trip may be a let down. Wait. I remember your other trips. Party On!

 

My seat belt is buckled. I'm ready to go vicariously on another amazing TD ride!

Wishing you safe travels and a fantastically fun and winning trip!

 

Hopefully it will be more entertaining for you than your Tennessee trip but that trip was incredibly entertaining for me!

 

This crew was struttin' out there just like Mr Blonde, Mr Pink and Mr Orange did to the beat of 'Little Green Bag' by the George Baker Selection way back in 1992.

After the Cap'n (man in the white shirt, first image) rotated that sucker and accelerated to the necessary speed for liftoff, I grabbed my neighbor by the arm across the aisle and said, "Woah-ho man, this thing is flying up high. Holy shit, man!" The 7 year old girl immediately requested I never touch her again.

It's a grueling 16 minute flight to Dulles.

The Reservoir Dog people managed to get err down from a cruisin' altitude of 9,000 feet, fuselage intact.

 

You need to turn your talents to cinematography, always good at framing and thinking of the movie elements of everyday scenes. Always such a great adventure.

 

Upon landing at my least favorite airport in 'Merica, they cram a hundred people into this 1990's futuristic bulldozer that transports you from terminal to terminal. It's nothing more than a construction site mobile with wheels, but they still haven't built an underground walkway for whatever reason.


Ironically enough, as I was thinking 1990's cinema, the city-bus-like-ticker thing was apparently stuck in a time warp and was thinking along the same lines I was.

There's something unsettling about being here at IAD, though. It has always given this guy a case of the Willies.

It stems from way back in 1990 (again!) when I went to the local cineplex and watched Die Hard 2. Terrorists took over this place and I always wonder, deep down inside...could history repeat itself?

When I fly out of (or connect) here, I'm always looking over my shoulder wondering if there's a Colonel Stuart walking these concourses, planning a shutdown of the runways and seizing control of the entire airport in hopes of saving an evil drug lord from extradition (like Esperanza was).


If that's the case, I'm certainly going to be stuck here in the United Club and will have to look forward to ordering some in-room-boob service at a later date.

Did you know that Die Hard 2 takes place inside this horrific space, but it was actually filmed in the old Denver Stapleton Airport? It's a true story, and you can save that little gem for when you have your first post-pandemic disco party and wish to impress the guests.

I thought long and hard about getting some adult beverages, but then I figured that I'm flying cross-country and will have plenty of opportunity to grab a drink over the next seven-eight days. I'll grab some Gatorade and fill up with the travel pals I brought along....but not before I raid the cupboard here and steal some more pistachios. Those mothers fuh's aren't cheap, people...but they're certainly a tasty treat.

See you in LV.