Hollywood Glamor 2/13 - 216

When I see the title of this report I start hearing Steely Dan's "Glamour Profession" play in my head.

I hope you make it out of there tomorrow. Enjoying all the artwork. Take all the pens!

 

I'm enjoying this TR, @FormallyTD!
It also serves as proof of life!

I hope you can find somewhere to wet your whistle tonight!


Safe travels (hopefully) tomorrow!

RICHARD

 

This is the most exciting, most boring trip ever! But hey, you're really getting out there and seeing the world, and I envy that.

 

go for the chili cheese frito pie wrap and extra long cheese coney w/ onions at sonic. Wash it down with some Natty light, through a straw. You'll be a local in no time. If not Mississippi, Missouri at the least.

 

I understand that a Screwdriver is a healthy beverage option on the morning AA flight in first class. Enjoy your escape from MEM. I am scheduled to be there on Wed, wish me luck

 

As of 7:17 CST, work has officially ended in the Delta. Producer Chris Cho sent a script of a new job I'm starting up on TUE and my boy Cary G texted me and booked me for a job at the end of the week. Some video game called 'Magic The Gathering' or some shit.

In a celebratory mood, I thought I'd go out with a bang.

In Greenwood, MS, 'bang' means you head over to the Fresh Market up the way because every restaurant is still closed despite above freezing temps and clear roads.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the best plan because, of course, at 7:40 a lady pulled up by me in her car as I was making my way to the entrance and said, "I'm sorry, they're closed, honey." Of course they are. Why would I think I could get a bag of raw broccoli?

Broccoli was on the menu and, honest to Christ, so was this Frito-Cheese Whiz quiche thing at the Sonic Sandwich Shop...which is directly across the street from the above market. Of course, they were shut down, too.

There really was/is only one option for me. The one superstore we can all count on to get us through the tough times called daily life.

What you hope is your last meal here....EVER, you gotta think big. These foot long 'rritos were tempting me, but I don't need to be unleashing the stank in the First Class cabin manana.

There were salads prepared and packaged Pre-Covid and some gourmet soups that really had my taste buds perking up (yes, taste buds can perk up).


Surely a tasty temptation. I assume I put it in the microwave and the entire thing explodes, but I only eat the meatball sub from one place and one place only: The Subway on the casino floor of one El Cortez. There's nothing I like better than taking one of them bad boys back up to the room after losing a G and then passing out on top of it...which I do do.

There was no bread on the shelves, so technically I could have bought the above sandwiches and just nuked this can't-miss creation! I wouldn't even need hamburger. Just pour it on the bread or even drink it straight out of the can...which I couldn't really open unless I drove over it with the Jeep.

I did want a kombucha, but I'm high maintenance and only drink the ginger. I don't want my ginger mixed with blueberries, blackberries or snozzberries.

No bacon available to microwave.

You're in a Walmart and you can get a $1.03 bowl and spend $.14 on a spoon, so a box of cereal was a good idea...and I've never tried the Caramel Jacks.

But, as nothing has really gone right here, there really wasn't any milk.

I could've used the Manwich sauce, I 'spose...but I will only drink/use Organic Milk...and I don't thnk there's anything organic within the walls of any Walmart Superstore. You get that regular milk where the farmhands put the hormones in it and the next thing you know I'm waking up with breasts. I don't need that at my age.

This had me thinking. Ten servings isn't very much when you're an unhealthy slob for a week. I just didn't think I could fit it in the microwave.

I scaled way down and those bastards suckered me in with a giant display of Rufflles right by the self-checkout area. I do love me some-uh-them Chedd and Sour Cray Chips.

If I ever walk in my front door again, I'm not going to weigh myself for at least eight days. I'll be able to do my plank and boxing routine again and kick those 45 additional pounds to the curb.

As of twenty minutes ago, American Airlines verified it was a solid possibility that might actually happen (me walking through my front door....unless the flight is diverted to Melbourne, FL or something).

 

What time does the jeep head north to make that 910 flight?

I'm thinking powdered milk, but you require organic, which, I assume, means Colombian when it comes to powder.

 

0500-something, me lad.

 

It's almost over. Safe travels.

 

Goodbye 310 (hey, I have the exact area code on my cellular device...really wild). Goodbye Tina's dog. You were a good boy.


Today I like Jesus Chrise very much as he gave me the strength to leave the mighty Mississipp. The old Miss. The old man. Deeeeep, riverrrrr.

GORGEOUS I-Fitty Figh





No restrooms available inside Memphis International. They do have a row of porta potties on the exterior, though.

 

This trip report has been unexpectedly epic in ways you clearly did not intend.

As you travel back home you can think happy thoughts about all that you can eat and drink at any time of the day or night and on any day of the week in Vegas.

 

The pilots took off and landed real good.

The guy in front of me leaned his seat back even though the flight was sixty three minutes (but he did consume 3 bloody's & a beer, so nothing but respect).

The airline mag is the same title as a great Sacred Reich album ('State Of Emergency' nbeing my favorite track on it).

His lady was reading an article about how Demi Moore's head has transformed through the years.
I'd read that.

This baby is being put to bed. Thanks for sharing my plight.

On FEB 13, 2021, a not-so-wise man wrote, "You will be so happy you're not me and should never complain again."

Vegas in five weeks.

Adios, peoples!

 

It's always nice to save a little something for the next TR!

RICHARD

 

This is the most entertaining work TR I have ever read! Well done!

I'm shocked at how long they shut down though and that Walmart!

 

Man, Bad Luck Schelprock.
You need a fuckin vacation!!

 

But, you'll have to have a roll of paper towels handy! Of course, it's a rental car, so.....

 

Damn TD, sorry I missed this one, quite an epic read. I was stuck in Houston without power through most of that reading my book by flashlight with four layers of clothes, three blankets and most importantly lots of bourbon.