Do I want to house sit for the next 5 Years?

The housekeeping part is easy to fix. You can be a slob 95% of the time. Just clean up when they come home.

And maybe a maid service if needed.

Assuming $1,500 a month in rent someplace, that could come to $18,000 a year you are not spending. Or $90k over 5 years. Some serious money - even if you have to do some stuff around the house.

 

Oh absolutely a contract wouldn't be a problem in my family.

 

No. You're not comfortable. What happens if they decide to sell it? What happens if they split up? Like...no too many variables. It's up to you though.

 

I would say as apparently a financially-secure renter the prospect of finding a place to live would not be problematic.

 

I agree with you. You're not making bad points. I'm not thinking of finances though. Hassle for sure. Possible bad blood between family. The hesitation and coming to "us" for our thoughts is kind of an indicator of discomfort for me. If the op is feeling off about it and can't really put their finger on it... Risk reward doesn't make me want to do it. Put it to you this way, I would love the idea, the space and savings...and I wouldn't do it. I am going to be straight up renting from a friend in the near-ish future. Renting from a friend isn't really something I would do but I feel comfortable with this deal. So, I'm not coming at it closed minded. Ultimately, it's going to be up to the OP and I wish them the best in it.

 

Are they trying to convince you they would be doing you a favor?
Would you forever be hearing about how they let you live in THEIR house for FREE?

So in a nutshell, if I understand it correctly, the situation is:
Be a live-in care taker of their house - "save tons on rent" but don't get too comfy !
They'll come back and rule the roost and demote you to house guest several times a year.

What if they decide to come back sooner than 5 years?
Are you SOL? Like, thanks but....gtfo?

This is really asking a lot of you.
Never being able to feel like you were "at home" for 5 years?
Hard sell - PASS. (IMO)

Maybe? -
If they had a complete in-law suite?
If they were willing to make a portion of the house into an apartment for you?
Then - Maybe? -
But only if they cleared (the area you would be living in) out completely and you got an agreement IN WRITING.

Upon further re-reading of your post -
You mention doing this for them and being a "good brother".
You are not obligated to solve anyone's problems in order to be considered a good sibling/human being!

All my alarm bells are going off on this situation.
Guilt / Love
I feel for you!

No good deed goes unpunished.
Damned if you do....damned if you don't!

 

You couldn't pay me enough to do this. If it made a big difference for you financially, maybe, but you already said that the finances aren't that much of perk for you.

You also said she's picky, and it's not going to be your house. You also have no freedom from pop-ins. And, in the end, even if miserable for you, it will probably still be seen as "i did you a huge favor."

And 5 years is a LONG time to be kind of under someone's thumb.

I think it could/probably would, cause more stress than help. I'd be honest, let her know you love her and want to support her, but that you like your own place. You can always offer that if she rents it, you can check on it occasionally. (And she might be offering this to help you out....you both might be doing the "I'm going to be nice" dance )


PS you'd be a good brother by being honest. I'd be sick to my stomach if I knew my brother committed to something for 5 years he didn't want to, just to please me!

 

What’s the guarantee that she keeps the job for 5 more years? The entire world is working from home these days. She’d be better off working from home 2 or 3 days a week and staying near the office 2 or 3 days a week.

 

Yes I'm fully aware of that. I was commenting in the context of the original poster's description ... where he says that he is in a sound financial position with a modest lifestyle relative to his income .... so that $800 per month or so is not a clinching factor.

 

My general thoughts:

How long have you been in the current place? If you bounce around apartments a lot, versus being in the same place for a number of years, would provide a different perspective. Harder to move when you feel settled.

75 miles away is a good bit. Would you be happy where they are? What does it do to you for the places you normally use (doctor, dentist, etc.)

How big is the house, and does it have a sprinkler system? Utilities may be a good bit more than the apartment (has been in my experience) and may nip into projected savings, so find out what they are paying currently. If a sprinkler system is needed, water bill would be something they should cover (or at least cover part of it). (I'd have a spreadsheet doing total cost comparisons, but that's just the way I am.)

 

Good questions.

I have been in my current apartment for almost 24 years, so I am getting a break on my rent by being such a long term tenet. So I would say that I'm very settled. It's funny, I have never owned a house, even though I could have afforded one, because it never made sense to me (I'm not Mr. Handy Man, by a long shot). If I ever had a family, I would have bought one, but that was not to be.

Where they are, is more suburban than than the relatively .rural area where I live, so there would be more things to do around there. I would probably keep my current doctors and just come back for appointments. There is no sprinkler system that I ever recall seeing. the house is 3000+ sq. feet so there would definitely be more room.

 

I think it's natural to occasionally get frustrated at anyone who is living WITH you for some period of time. My FIL lived with us for a couple years and although I loved him and don't regret helping him out, I would get frustrated with him for sure sometimes.

The difference is that except for the few occasions when they are "visiting", you won't be living with them. You will be there alone. That being said, I strongly agree with those who have said that if you are leaning toward doing it, you 3 should hash out all the expectations in advance, possibly in writing, and have crystal clear understanding about how this will play out. Who pays for repairs? Can you have houseguests? How much of your stuff can you move in? What happens if they come back early. Etc Etc

 

I agree.......with a written agreement.
It doesn't have to "legalized "........so this wouldn't be a problem in my family experience.
It acts as a Template for any situations that may arise.
One or both parties may need to be reminded of what they agreed to originally.
However,
The SIL being " picky"...........?
Well - there's a RED FLAG.
There needs to be clarification or you will be playing the " This is my house" game.
Yes - a Maid Service is a must.
.
Lastly
The Poster doesn't particularly care about the money saved on lack of rent payments.
The Poster has been in his " rental " for 20+ yrs and receives a discount ( nice ! )
Probably doesn't want to pull up stakes ?
.
I was initially " ALL IN " on saving that rent money !.......I would do it.
But......I think the Poster should just act as " Property Manager ".
Not move in.

 

I forgot to mention... Don't forget to share the address with all us VMBers for that BIG House Party you're going to throw once you move in

 

I'm glad it's your decision. Every time I read it I change my mind. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

If I were in your position I would decline the offer.

1 - You enjoy your current living situation and location.
2 - The very real risk of huge fights with your family.
3 - This is what property management companies do, the owners should hire one to periodically check on their house.

 

Again, thanks for all your comments!

Ok, here are the latest developments. I went up to my brothers house yesterday to help him with something. We went out to lunch, and I told him my concerns and what questions I had. On the the subject of cleanliness, she asked what my apartment looked like as far as being tidy. He said that it looked like his place when they started dating. Her reply - That bad?

Anyway, they said that they would pay for a cleaning service to come in once a month. They would also pay to move me out to any place within a reasonable area (so Fiji is out)! BTW, they are also financially comfortable so these expenses wouldn't be a hardship for them. I also made it clear that my saving on rent wasn't a consideration in my decision. His wife wasn't there, but I will see them both at Thanksgiving to further discuss it.

IF, I decide to move in, I'm not too worried about getting things in writing. Although we give each other a hard time (what are brothers for), at the end of the day there is basic trust, and neither one of us has any need or desire to try to shaft the other one. For example, when I was Executor of my dad's estate, no one asked for receipts or bank statements. They just trusted me to be fair, which I was.

For me, it boils down to not having a place to call my own. Also, it is a hassle to move even with movers. I have had a place of my own ever since I left college. I did offer that I could keep my own place and go up there every couple of weeks to check up on things. However, he didn't seem too excited about that idea. Anyway, that is where I stand now.

 

There is one other thing. In an extremely generous concession, my sister in law will even although me to hang my six foot by four foot tapestry of "Dogs playing Poker" on the wall. Hey, I have had that displayed on a wall going back to my dorm room in college. If she is Ok with that (albeit reluctantly), they must really want me to move in!

 

You have a great relationship with your brother. Get it in writing. If in fact they do escape their new digs, you could find yourself a landlord of their house for the remainder of the contract!!! That’s what brothers are for. To forgive and forget.
But it does sound like they are bending over backwards to have someone they trust “hold” the property. So once again it is back to you for a decision.... good luck.

 

Here’s @fasbman - talking with his bro & SIL about house sitting