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Bad joke of the day 2020

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by wormhole, Jul 14, 2016.

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  1. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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    I went to a gas station to get a drink and as I walk up, I noticed these 2 cops watching a woman who was smoking while pumping her gas... I saw her and thought, is this lady stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the officers standing RIGHT there. I went on in minding my own business and went in for a Diet Coke. As I was paying for my drink, I heard someone screaming!! Like I’m talking violent death screams!! I looked up and I saw that this woman's arm was on fire!! She was swinging her arm, running around going nuts!! When I got my drink and walked out the door the officers had the woman on the ground and they were putting the fire out!! Then they put handcuffs on her and threw her in the police car. I was thinking, arrested?? Shouldn’t she be in an ambulance, not a police car?? And being the noisy person I am, I asked the police what they were arresting her for. The guy looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIREARM IN PUBLIC”!!!
     
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  2. GeorgeandTheBear

    GeorgeandTheBear High-Roller

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  3. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  4. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    [​IMG]
     
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  5. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  6. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  8. bubbakitty

    bubbakitty Doing retirement again and happily so....

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  9. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  10. icopus

    icopus Low-Roller

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    There was an old gal from El Paso
    Who had such a beautiful ass-o.
    It was not round and pink,
    As you probably think,
    But was gray, had long ears, and ate grass-o.
     
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  11. EastCoastVegasFan!

    EastCoastVegasFan! VIP Whale

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    July 19th - July 24th
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  12. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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  13. booker

    booker VIP Whale

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    It's all in how a man can handle the joystick in the cockpit. (I'll see my way out.)
     
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  14. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  15. KnowItAll

    KnowItAll VIP Whale

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    My hometown forecast -- 69 and wet on Thursday

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  16. The Stig

    The Stig VIP Whale

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    I used to be in a band called the Hinges, we weren't much good but we did support the Doors.
     
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  17. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  18. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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  19. gs32794

    gs32794 VIP Whale

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  20. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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    Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

    George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
    "Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
    She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

    While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe, why don't you give ole' George here your best last kiss?"

    So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

    After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

    "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
    It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
     
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