What happened to you in Vegas that makes you laugh years later?

We arrived early one Saturday morning and I attempted to check in at V/P around 8:30 in the morning. I got the "We don't have a room for you quite yet Mr. Handshuffle but we should have something nice before too long. Just leave you bags with us and we will text you when your room is ready." Being so early we walked over to the Wynn buffet for breakfast with unlimited mimosas. We kept downing and ordering mimosas and I could see our server was starting to get a bit annoyed with our constant refills. She finally starts bring us water pitchers full of mimosas so we will leave her alone for a few minutes. Sometime around 10:00 am I get a text from V/P saying our room is ready. We get up to leave and we are blitzed. I mean sloppy staggering blitzed. And we have only been in Vegas about two hours. Stumbling back to V/P I just kept telling the wife "Welcome to Las Vegas". After that, it is all a blur....

 

And then there was the time I walked to my room at the far end of a Bally's hallway and came upon an elderly Asian Indian man and his wife standing outside the door next to mine. The poor old guy looked pained. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, was all hunched over, and had bended knees. He had helped his wife bring in her shopping bags and had locked himself out. The Hawaiian shirt was all he had on.

 

Keep going...

 

My first trip to Vegas in the early 90s my then husband and I drove downtown, parked in some parking garage and started walking -- it was around midnight and we had no idea where the casinos were --- he saw a street cleaner and asked him where was Bunions -- the guy cracked up and said - bunions! they are on your feet... if you want Binions its a few blocks this way... haha- we laughed and laughed!

 

Mine involve my wife. These are funny to me because because she's fairly shy, hates to do anything to draw attention to herself, and fairly quiet whenever she's around people she doesn't know.

1) We were playing at the Cosmopolitan on our 25th anniversary trip this past June. She doesn't know how to play any casino games other than slots, so I send her off to some slots so I can play bubble craps. Otherwise she'll sit next to me and ask eleventy million questions. I tell her to play cheap slots and order wine, it's free. She likes wine but has a VERY low tolerance. Anyhow, after an hour she comes and plops down in the seat next to me, almost falling out of it. WTH?? She grins really big and says, "HiiiiiiiiiiiI!" I ask her how much she's had to drink. "Two glasses of wine and they were goooooood. I think it was two. What comes after two??? No, it was two. HEE HEE HEE!!!"

She was loaded off of two glasses of wine. If you remember the song "Telephone Man" by Meri Wilson, she was like that, giggly and coy, only worse. She ordered another while I was playing and drank it down pretty quickly. We left and I had to help her walk up the strip to our room. She was talking to everything and everyone. "Hi, showgirls! Hi, married couple, [giggling]! Hi, pigeons! Hi, Eiffel Tower! It's a big Eiffel Tower!!! Look, Toddy, it's the Eiffel Tower! I wonder if it's the real one [giggling]! I bet you drunk I'm think, don't you? I'm noooooot [giggling]!"

2) We'd eaten somewhere and her food had given her a gastrointestinal issue. I told her we'd go back to the hotel. We're in the car and whatever it was that she ate decided that it was going to cause problems RIGHT THERE and she tells me to get her to a bathroom. We were pulling in to a McDonald's and some old fart was standing in front of the side entrance where I'd parked. My wife also rarely curses, but as she got out of the car she yelled "GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY YOU OLD F***ER!!!!!!" as she set a speed record from the car to the bathroom. I laughed about that until she got back in the car. The best part was that I started kidding her about "I can't believe you treated that poor old man like that," and she kept denying that she said that, then admitting that she said it but "I didn't yell it, I just said it in a normal conversational tone." To this day she won't admit that it happened the way it actually happened.

 

So a buddy and I flew out to Vegas for a weekend run of Phish concerts at the Thomas and Mack, and we had booked a room at the Las Vegas Hilton for the weekend.

We invited a friend to stay with us and meet us out there. So we arrive at the Hilton and see the desk, and get assigned a near top floor room with strip views end to end, but before seeing that, and as we walk away from the lobby looking for our friend, he's napping on a couch in an adjoining area within the lobby, as if to be saying "I'll be here when you get here". One of the easiest LV meetups ever. No calls in advance - just an itinerary given, to which he obeyed and planted himself on said Hilton lobby couch for easy finding

Only in Vegas.

Another example is seeing the film Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and being able to comment re: a number of the "acid" scenes' visuals: "Yep, they got that right." Lemme tell ya, they had that "moving carpet" thing DOWN. "Bat Country", indeed.

 

Five or six of us were at a blackjack table. At first base was a kid we didn't know. Our group was having way too much fun. The drink service was quick! Finally the pit boss comes over and says, "I'm cutting this table off." We knew it was coming so we didn't protest. But the kid did. "hey! I'm not with these guys." The pit boss pauses for a moment, looks at the kid, and says, "You're collateral damage."

 

Years ago my buddy Mike and I were playing BJ at the Barbary Coast. The day before we had a 20 hour gambling and drinking session and he wasn’t feeling great. Anyways, the men’s bathroom was directly behind the table we were playing at. He got up to go to bathroom and a minute later the most awful odor I have ever smelled punched me directly in the face. I looked at the dealer and she was also making this wtf face. Mike gets back to table and I asked him if someone was dying in there. He started laughing and said he was the only person in there. 15-20 years later and we still laugh until we aren’t breathing about it.

 

My wife and I were with another couple having fun playing cheap Blackjack at a Harrahs Toby Keith Party Pit. There a woman about 75 sitting at the table with us. We were drinking Fireball on the rocks and the cocktail waitress kept them coming. She asked what we were drink so she said Im gonna get one. We she forgot to order on the rocks so she got a shot. She said what the hell and downed it and said OOOOO thats good and ordered another and kept up with us for a while.

 

I've mentioned this before, but there was one trip where I really degenned, had the curtains pulled in the room all the time, etc.

On the last day, I kind of lost track of things. I was sitting looking at my laptop and looked at the clock on it and did a double-take and then said holy shit, it's 5:00 and my flight is at 7:00am and I hadn't even slept that night or packed. So I raced to throw all my shit in luggage and grabbed a cab to the airport. I get to the airport and there's no curbside check-in for some reason (I figured it was too early), so I go to the counter.

I give my confirmation email to the agent and she goes, "we can try to book you on a flight later tonight." I'm confused because I knew I had made it in time. So I'm kind of looking at her funny and finally she goes, "Your flight is tomorrow morning."

I had shown up at 7:00pm Thursday for 7:00am Friday flight.

 

Were you like, yeah I'll do it, I can't be hypmotized, that's all bs....before that happened?

 

Was gambling downtown with friends at like 2 am when my home button on my iPhone just completely stopped working for no reason. Started freaking out because I had 1 day left of my trip, presumably no way to contact any of my friends on the last day and no way to check in for my flight which is early in the morning. Friends got an Uber to Aria and I went with them to then take the tram back to Bellagio where I was staying. Still stressing about the lack of phone.

Get up to the tram area. It's probably 3 am at this point so pretty much nobody is waiting except a guy on one of the benches. He gets up and starts staggering around where I realize he's really messed up. He eventually falls on his ass and is chilling on the ground for a while. A guy wearing a nice suit walks up the stairs to the tram and looks kind of startled seeing him on the ground.

Wasted guy gets up and sits back on the bench with his head in his hands for like 5 minutes. The tram finally comes. Suit guy tries to let wasted guy know the tram was here, to which he curled up in a ball on the bench and went to sleep. Definitely needed the little laugh I got from that at the time.

Plus on the same trip one of my friends was so drunk she lit the wrong end of her cigarette and started to smoke the filter.

 

So many laughs and sto ries....here is one:

Back in the early 2000's I used to go with a group of guy co-workers to Vegas and we had some great times. One of my co-workers had a great run at Blackjack at the Bellagio on a previous trip. The rest of us(three co-workers and myself) stayed at Bally's while "Mr Blackjack" had a RFB at the Bellagio. On our last day we decided to try the buffet at the Bellagio before taking the late flight back to Minnesota. We ran into "Mr. Blackjack" on the overpass bridge from Bally's and Bellagio. He asked us where we were going and we invited him to join us for the buffet. He had already eaten, but he gave me his players card and told me to go to the blackjack pit and hand the card to the "suit" and pass myself off as him and to ask for a buffet comp for the rest of the group. Well, having had several cocktails that day that sounded like a capital idea.

I boldly walked up to the pit boss, handed the players card to him and told him that I would like comped buffet passes for myself and my friends as I had given them considerable play over the past three days. The 'suit' took the card, went over to his computer and after a minute came back with a smile and said. " Certainly, we would be happy to take care of your request." The guy didn't even ask me for ID....this is GREAT. He walked us up to the cashier at the buffet, past a line of at least 50 people and told the lady at the desk that to seat us right away and our meals were comped. Holy shit, could not believe that we got away with it. We gorged ourselves on crab legs and had a pile of empty shells in the middle of the table that looked like a seafood 'boneyard'. We ate like ravenous wolves until we were stuffed. When we finally decided to leave one of our group started to get up from the table and his belt broke. We just about fell down laughing as we walked out and him grabbing his pants to hold them up. Only in Vegas....and people ask me what draws me back there.

 

Loladoggie...yep..i am always the human ginuea pig...i will do anything....i was surprised i didnt remember doing that..but everything was cool. another bucket list thing gone..lol.

 

For several years, Jacks and I would travel to LV or Laughlin for Thanksgiving with our friends “Ann” and “Carol.” We always had a great time together and somehow started a competition to see if we could say something that would get reactions from people around us.

I once approached Ann who was playing video poker on a full bank of people and said, “I’m sorry I called your mother an interfering cow.” The ladies next to her tried to be polite but finally burst out laughing and we eventually told them we were kidding.

I was playing craps and hitting a few numbers. The table was full, and I had just hit a point when Carol walked up and said, in a loud voice, “I thought just once we could be a family at Thanksgiving!” It was like a movie. The whole table went quiet and turned to stare daggers at me. We held it for about four seconds before we started laughing together.

Jacks and Ann were playing Three Card Poker when he got a phone call and stepped away from the table momentarily. When he came back, he said, “That was the hospital. Our son is out of surgery and we can stay another night!” to the initial horror of the other players and dealer.

I miss those trips.

 

These stories are cracking me up.

Some of these ended up in a trip report or two.
My sisters A, C, and I did the half happy hr on the High Roller. It just ended up being us and some guy from NYC. Needless to say, we all ended up 5 strong drinks in in that half hr and I A and C were wheeled in to our room at Luxor by security.

A, C, and our friend T had gone to some show and wanted to really do Vegas and go to a club. We ended up at some hell-themed club at Riviera with plastic cups like 6 other people. Worst/most hilarious club ever.

We used to go to Quark's at the Hilton a lot and partake in their giant fishbowl drinks. We would usually share one among three of us but decided to share two among four of us. The next morning was fun trying to figure out who thought it was a good idea to take the waiter's suggestion to pack the ice cream toppings from dessert and take them with us.

Me + tequila = purse at the table (I don't speak of that)

The incident we call "The Suddenly Folding C Incident." We were at one of the clubs that used to be in Luxor. We were having a good time. Champagne was free. Music was great. Crowd was great. C was dancing up on a platform having a good time. She came down to get a(nother) drink and literally folded in half like someone had turned her off. A and I caught her and we were like well damn. So we had to drag her and her 7" platforms between us all the way back to Excalibur where we were staying and just...dumped her on the bathroom floor.

 

Back in the days before cell phones were something everyone had and you carried a disposable camera on your vacation, my sister and I were leaving MGM one night, going up the escalator by the Rain Forest Café. I see Gene Simmons going down the escalator. Sis and I get to the top and I yank her around and say, “that was Gene Simmons”, she said “who?” Sis is older and has different tastes in music. I explain as we clip clop in our heels down the not working escalator. We walk up on both sides of him and I speak....me: hello, Gene: hello. Me: did I see you in concert in Austin Texas in 199x Gene: probably. Me: are you Gene Simmons? Gene: yes. Me: can I have your autograph? Gene: yes, but can you walk faster so I can keep up with my family? I start pulling things out of my purse to find a pen and paper, the first thing out was the camera. I hand him the pen and paper and stick the camera in my purse. He hands me everything back and we thank him and he walks off. It wasn’t til we got back to the room at Monte Carlo and I yell SOB,I had the damn camera in my HAND!

 

My VMB pic is me with Mike Hammer. We saw him a few years ago. If you have never seen him I highly recommend it. His show involved a lot of audience participation. I got pulled up on stage -- literally. He had to drag me up there - I fought and didn't win. Of course it didn't help my husband was pushing me along with Mr. Hammer -- asshole. The trick I helped him with was disappearing water newspaper trick. I was close enough to figure out 1/2 the trick but not all of it. Anyways when you are up on stage you can't see the audience for all the bright lights. I'm not one of those people that enjoy being front and center - I was really nervous. After the show I told my husband I got so nervous I felt like I was going to pee on myself or fart -- I wasn't sure which one or both. Thank God neither occurred.

 

We took the kids to see a famous magician when they were like 7 (Son) & 5 (Daughter). They randomly selected audience members for a trick & I was selected. They brought us to the stage in kinda of a bleacher set up & threw a curtain over us. The second that happened the bottom dropped out of the bleacher & they were herding us like cattle (run, run ,run) threw the back stage, threw the kitchen, out of the back of the hotel & finally to the back of the theatre where we reappeared.

When the curtain dropped my wife asked the kids with a smirk “ where did daddy go?” The kids were a little scared. After I told them of my adventure (including my run through the kitchen) & my daughter asked “did you get us any popcorn?”

After the show, the magician called us to a backroom & gave us an autographed picture (a glam shot that was taken 10+ years before the show). My kids looked at & said “who’s that?” They seemed incredulous that it was the same guy we just watched.

 

On our last day in Vegas after a 5 night stay, we had a late afternoon flight out so we stopped at NYNY to eat lunch and ride the roller coaster. When we went back to the parking garage to get the car, we couldn’t remember what floor we parked on. We hunted and hunted. Security came to help us on a bicycle and ask what kind of car and the color. Not only could we not agree on what color it was, we couldn’t even agree on what model the car was. I think they thought we found some car keys and was looking to steal a car. They called Alamo to check our story out. Alamo told them what kind of car and the color. To this day, the first thing I do at Alamo is take a picture of the car and the tags. When we get to a parking garage now, we take a picture of level we are on. We laugh about it now but it wasn’t real funny that day and yes we were on time for our flight.