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Bad joke of the day 2020

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by wormhole, Jul 14, 2016.

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  1. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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  2. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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  3. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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  4. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    If a paper bag is a poke and a donkey is an ass, why is a poke in th ass a goose?
     
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  5. BlacklabberMike

    BlacklabberMike MIA

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  6. ardee

    ardee It's only money.

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    A scent for the bashful and shy.

    jokecologne.jpg
     
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  7. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  8. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. booker

    booker VIP Whale

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    Screen Shot 2020-05-21 at 6.12.20 PM.png
     
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  10. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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  11. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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  12. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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  13. booker

    booker VIP Whale

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    Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

    Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

    The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

    Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard ya sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

    With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell?"

    Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."
     
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  14. progrocker2112

    progrocker2112 Watch out for this guy

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    You can measure how awful these jokes are the same way as earthquakes, with a sighsmograph.
     
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  15. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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  16. wormhole

    wormhole VIP Whale

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    Sign at a local business:

    Unattended children will be given Espresso and a free kitten.
     
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  17. dmr

    dmr Registered Abuser

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    This has been making the rounds today, in the context of lockdown weight gain ...

    "I bet a lot wives right now wish their husbands bought them a Peloton for Christmas!"
     
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  18. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  19. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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  20. flyguyfl

    flyguyfl MIA

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    For Breeze.

    If you believe that the Oilers will be playing hockey in two weeks, raise your right hand. Now slap yourself with it.
     
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