1. Welcome to VegasMessageBoard
    It appears you are visiting our community as a guest.
    In order to view full-size images, participate in discussions, vote in polls, etc, you will need to Log in or Register.

What has happened to common civility?

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by mjames1229, May 14, 2020.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. mjames1229

    mjames1229 # of visits includes only trips w/ hotel stays

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2011
    Messages:
    4,201
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    36
    This itself is not a political post... but it is me panicking as the result of a political action. I am hoping to tread lightly so as to make a point without the thread being closed, and I am hoping that commenters heed as well.

    Because I really need to vent.

    As many of you know, the Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down the Shelter in Place, and with no back up plan from the Governor or the State Senate or the Assembly, any sheltering action is at the hands of local municipalities. That's about the end of my political discussion... just setting the scene.

    My problem is with a large percentage of my friends (a vast majority who are on Facebook) who are acting like they have never been out of the house, and are doubling down by acting like this...

    upload_2020-5-14_15-29-36.png

    Of course, that elicited dozens and dozens of comments in the "Yeah! Right on!" realm.

    Well that's all well and good, except that this 27 year old guy almost died of COVID-19, and was featured regularly on all four local station's newscasts during his illness and after his release. Of all people that you'd think would have concern for your fellow man, it would be him. Instead, he effectively calls those people who are concerned about what is going on in Wisconsin cowards, and includes it as a political comment.

    I've coined the phrase "Shelter Shaming". If one is uncomfortable going out because of concern about the transmission of the virus, that person is now apparently subject to "Shelter Shaming"... at least in Wisconsin.

    Here's where I am so irate... If my wife contracts COVID-19, I give her a 40% survival rate. She has asthma, is obese, has pulmonary hypertension, chronic pneumonia and - oh by the way - just came home from the hospital after they found a blood clot in her lung (very possibly because she had surgery on March 11, the day before Wisconsin's Shelter in Place began). She had very little follow up and no physical therapy, and being concerned about catching the virus, hasn't really gotten any exercise outside. My wonderful wife is a walking definition of someone susceptible to the virus.

    This is a long-winded prelude to the question.... "What the hell happened in society?"

    I can understand random internet trolls doing random internet troll things....and frankly VMB provides anonymity, too. But for the most part, the people in my Facebook world use their real names, post real photos of themselves, bowl with me, travel to Vegas with me, and are generally involved in my life in one way or another. And this morning and afternoon, I watched them one-by-one "like" this guy's post and comment to the room about how not-serious the virus is and "everyone has to live his life". How can I look these people in the eye now?

    As I recount this, I sit here, stunned and not able to better relate what I want to say. All I've got is... "How can people be like that to one another?" And how can we right the ship?
     
    USBC Nationals are back in Vegas
    • Like Like x 6
    • Love Love x 4
    • Wow! Wow! x 1
  2. Marky147

    Marky147 VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2009
    Messages:
    6,056
    Location:
    England
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    Social media has a lot to answer for, as it's so much easier to throw around the kind of statements and actions people do nowadays, without having to worry about too much in the way of repercussions.
     
    • Agree Agree x 14
  3. Marky147

    Marky147 VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2009
    Messages:
    6,056
    Location:
    England
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    Even though some of them are people you know, it's much easier to click 'like' in agreement, or comment, and not feel that it matters too much with regards to others. They're just happy they got their feelings out there.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
  4. FullPay

    FullPay When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2008
    Messages:
    4,127
    Location:
    Derby City, Kentucky
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    110
    You and your family are safe at home. Continue to take precautions when you go out. If others want to do differently, sit back and watch.
     
    • Agree Agree x 17
  5. Michael Smith

    Michael Smith VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2019
    Messages:
    2,978
    Location:
    Sisquoc, CA
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    200
    Well, two comments. One, for whatever reason, social media seems to get the best of many people and they tend toward negativity. I've even seen it in myself—a reason I took Twitter off my phone and rarely use Facebook. Second, I truly believe that the wide swath of Americans are concerned citizens who are doing the right thing. Unfortunately, there is a quite vocal minority that likes to be contrarian about virtually everything.
     
    Final Four/Santa Anita Derby
    • Agree Agree x 5
  6. Lulu4545

    Lulu4545 Super Jeans

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    440
    Location:
    Honolulu, HI
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    22
    It's unfortunate that this situation is causing a divide among friends, relatives, co-workers, whoever you follow on social media.

    People on both sides of the argument are being shamed. In your example, people who prefer to shelter in place are deemed cowards. On the flip side, people who feel fine going outside are called "Covidiots" for not taking the disease seriously.

    @Marky147 is right, social media made it OK for people to say whatever they want, regardless of how careless or offensive it may be. It's very sad.
     
    • Agree Agree x 8
  7. mjames1229

    mjames1229 # of visits includes only trips w/ hotel stays

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2011
    Messages:
    4,201
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    36
    A short term fer-instance....

    With the shelter order being lifted, there is talk of finishing out the bowling season (the owners of alleys have been hit really hard). In one league, we have 16 bowlers and two weeks remaining. The other has 42 bowlers and six weeks remaining.

    Even with restrictions lifted, if everybody would be cool, I would feel comfortable minding myself at bowling and wouldn't be too concerned. But now some of the people I bowl with are in the "to hell with the virus!!!" crowd. OK, so I don't bowl for awhile, but that's just one thing. Before yesterday, when things started to open up slowly (not unlike a flower blooming in springtime) I was looking forward participating in that social contract we call life.

    Now I have to live with the fact that the terms of the contract have changed.
     
    USBC Nationals are back in Vegas
    • Like Like x 3
    • Wow! Wow! x 1
  8. pressitagain

    pressitagain VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2013
    Messages:
    3,326
    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    8
    I’m in total agreement with you BUT then I realize that we as humans have always been tribal. Whether it be the city, state, country, political affiliation, sport team....
    You can literally break it down to an infinite number of tribes.

    Media AND social media live off this tribal mentality through sensationalism.

    Civility does exist.

    A VAST MAJORITY of us still care about others!!!
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
    • Like Like x 5
  9. cvkelz

    cvkelz Extremely Low Roller- like, I barely roll at all.

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2016
    Messages:
    1,230
    Location:
    Monterey, CA
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    50
    I took myself off of Facebook about a month and a half ago for my own sanity.
    It's a shame because it is usually a great tool to keep in contact with my friends and family back home, but the "Shelter Shaming" (great name for it by the way) and arguing back and forth was literally making me crazy.
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Love Love x 3
  10. nancyf

    nancyf VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2017
    Messages:
    1,017
    Location:
    Daytona Beach, Florida
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12
    I saw this on facebook yesterday and think it is such a good reminder that we all need to do what is best for us and to be kind to people that do things differently:

    As we start to open up.....you do you, I'll do me. That's what America's about. None of us have the same circumstances (medically high risk child/ family member or a business about to go under, etc.). Let's all stay in our own lanes and keep the judgment down as we begin to reopen. No one should feel pressured either way.
    Just a thought... As governors are trying to figure out how to ease back into normal, please remember:
    Some people don’t agree with the state opening.... that’s okay. Be kind.
    Some people are still planning to stay home.... that’s okay. Be kind.
    Some are still scared of getting the virus and a second wave happening....that’s okay. Be kind.
    Some are sighing with relief to go back to work knowing they may not lose their business or their homes....that’s okay. Be kind.
    ‍⚕️Some are thankful they can finally have a surgery they have put off....that’s okay. Be kind.
    Some will be able to attend interviews after weeks without a job....that’s okay. Be kind.
    Some will wear masks for weeks....that’s okay. Be kind.
    Some people will rush out to get the hair or nails done.... that’s okay. Be kind.
    ❤️ The point is, everyone has different viewpoints/feelings and that’s okay. Be kind.
    We each have a different story. If you need to stay home, stay home. But be kind .
    If you need to go out, just respect others when in public and be kind!
    Don’t judge fellow humans because you’re not in their story. We all are in different mental states than we were months ago. So remember, be kind.
     
    • Like Like x 9
    • Love Love x 5
    • Agree Agree x 5
  11. stlguy197239

    stlguy197239 VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,062
    Location:
    St. Louis
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    I have been off facebook for a long, long time. I find that site more toxic than others, for whatever reason.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. bubbakitty

    bubbakitty Doing retirement again and happily so....

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2003
    Messages:
    14,900
    Location:
    Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    65
    Civility....that seems to be the problem with most of the people I run in to. They don’t understand .... we can agree to disagree. It’s a battle for some.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  13. SMG

    SMG VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2018
    Messages:
    2,066
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    49
    To preserve my sanity, I cut way back on how often I check my FB and twitter. LOL I've only been going onto FB in the evenings to play MyVegas for awhile and that's about it. Most days, I don't even bother to check my twitter account anymore.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  14. Chuck2009x

    Chuck2009x VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2009
    Messages:
    14,199
    Location:
    Boston
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    30
    I liked the days before social media when you knew insane people existed, but you thought it was a pretty small number.
     
    • Funny x 9
    • Agree x 8
    • Love x 3
    • Like x 1
    • Wow! x 1
  15. stlguy197239

    stlguy197239 VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,062
    Location:
    St. Louis
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    14
    The internet allows insane people to instantly find other insane people who make them feel less insane about the stuff they believe.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
  16. JosieCat

    JosieCat VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2011
    Messages:
    3,821
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    40
    I should have. I just keep unfollowing people. The only things that come across my feed now are cute cat pictures :).
     
    • Love Love x 5
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Gus

    Gus High-Roller

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2019
    Messages:
    777
    Location:
    Fort Worth Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    4
    here is a little perspective:

    After the devastating hurricane that hit puerto rico. the ENTIRE island went months without clean water, food shortages , electricity and all other "basic needs"

    here in mainland USA , we tried a "shelter in place" policy for a month or two and a select few LOSE their minds, screaming that they are being denied "basic needs"

    as an immigrant and PROUD american I hang my head low right now

    you would think a world wide pandemic killing hundreds of thousands would add "perspective" to say HEY this aint bad I can ride this out till we get a handle on the virus spread.

    I hope we do not but I see a massive wave of deaths coming soon and it's gonna take that for most to use common sense.
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
    • Like Like x 2
  18. BlacklabberMike

    BlacklabberMike MIA

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    5,373
    Location:
    Where's Ware?
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    25
    FWIW, I needed a few stamps, so I stopped at the PO this morning as there was almost no one there.
    I asked for what I wanted and the clerk asked if I would take this sheet as a substitute. I said sure, it's on a little more so I said sure. I paid and when I was done she thanked me for being so easy going. I told her it doesn't take much to be nice, it takes more not to be nice....

    As far as those bars....well, it is Wisconsinites:kill:

    I keed, I have many very very good friends from that great state.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  19. Blueberries

    Blueberries Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2008
    Messages:
    342
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    24
    I respect both sides of the issue , stay off negative sites and keep to my own lane. I'm a Wisconsin believer of staying safer at home, but if a vaccine is not in sight for another 18 months is there really a difference if we open now or at the end of this month. So I get it and understand the frustration of both sides, however we should always be kind with our words and actions. Go Wisconsin! Be safe and enjoy life.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Love Love x 1
  20. ken2v

    ken2v This Space For Rent

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2003
    Messages:
    29,787
    Location:
    A nice place
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    110
    The best way to think about the actions taken is one of preparedness and capacity. COVID is fatal to far too many no matter the treatment they get. Many many more do and can survive it but that's far from assured when the medical system isn't ready for the surge and is overrun with cases. That's really it.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Like Like x 2
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.