Funniest Vegas Moment

I slept through O too...booooooooring!

 

You did, too? Lol!

No disrespect to the show or the performers who are great artists. I think in our case we were going full steam all day doing this and that. By the time we hit the show we were tired. But yeah, the show was slow moving and dream-like so dream we did.....

We did wake when the artists were doing their thing on the swinging boat in the sky. And then we started to nod off again......

 

Then there's the time while walking to my room at the very end of the hall at Bally's, there was an older Asian Indian couple standing outside the room next to mine and the man was hunched over wearing an Aloha shirt and in obvious discomfort.

The woman asked heavily accented English if I could give her directions to the Paris pool where her family was at as they were locked out of their room and the family had another key. She was obviously confused, so I walked her to the pool. She was very reserved but surprised me in the elevator as she burst out laughing. She had been shopping and came back with many bags. Her husband, wearing only the shirt helped her bring them in and the door closed on them out in the hall.

The kids and grandkids at the pool went into hysteria when they heard about grandpa.

 

Not funny, but ... (and I'm sure I told this tale before ...)

I was on a business trip and went to bed relatively early in order to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for a client meeting first thing in the morning. I was thirsty so I threw a few things on, grabbed what I thought was the room key and a few $$$ and went down the hall to the soda machine. Room key? No, players card!

So, I had to go down to the desk looking like a bag lady and beg for a key. I did not have ID so they made a card and sent security up with me to verify that I was who I said I was.

Embarrassing!

 

We were staying at the Fremont October 2019 in a room by the elevator. I woke up from a nap to the cries of a girl yelling "I want to get out." "I just want to go home". I stagger out half asleep into the hall and find firemen and hotel security inspecting the elevator door, They tell me everything is ok sir. An employee is stuck in the elevator.

 

Years (now decades) ago I got stuck on an elevator at the Sahara. Their maintenance guys could not get it going so they had to phone the elevator company's emergency crew, which, of course, took the better part of an hour to get there.

I was with six total strangers making small talk for the hour or so. One guy just crashed on the floor. Security kept calling up on the squawk box asking "Are you still there?", as if we were gonna go elsewhere. They eventually got the elevator cranked up to the next floor. They took our room numbers and said we would be comped for the night.

 

I just spit on my laptop screen..............

I've told this one before & hopefully can be accurate with it. Several years back a co-worker was supposed to go to Mexico with sister & friends to their time-share (had gone numerous times). Her sister had a panic attack and cancelled the day before they were supposed to leave. This had her coming into work & we were going 'what the heck?'. She explained & then said 'anyone here going on vacation that I can go with?'. Someone volunteered the info that I was heading to Vegas the next day. What do I say when she asks if she can go? She ended up with the last seat on the plane both directions. I always book a 2Q room, so not an issue there & we would have been fine sharing a king. Since she didn't gamble, & I ended up entertaining more, I ended up doing my gambling late at night.

I came back one evening and she had an entertaining story. She was in bed reading and heard a man verbally abusing a women in the hallway. Instead of calling security, she opened up the door & stepped into the hallway to tell the guy to knock it off. And you can guess it. Our room door closed behind her. I can't remember exactly what happened with the guy & the gal, but she ended up in the elevator area of Flamingo calling on the white house phone....in her leopard print pajamas.....trying to get security to come up & let her into the room. Yes, thank goodness I had put her name on the room. She had to sit there on the carpet for quite a while before they arrived. They finally agreed to let her in & she had to show them her ID in her purse.

That's why I always say to make sure everyone's name is on the room!

 

Not sure if this is the corrrect forum, but there are a few funny moments in a vintage trip report (1972) which I posted a few years ago.

https://www.vegasmessageboard.com/forums/index.php?threads/a-classic-vegas-trip-from-1972.132954/#post-1336868

GG

 

Here's kind of a funny story that happened at Defcon last year.

I was staying at Planet Ho and just going out in the morning. There was a guy in the hallway, I assumed he was another Defcon attendee, with his ear to the wall obviously listening to or for something.

I asked what he was doing and he said that he was in the adjoining room and the night before, every so often, there was a noise that he said sounded like somebody pushing a housekeeping cart across the floor and it would wake him up. I listened for a while, and sure enough, there was a noise that sounded like somebody pushing a wheeled card across a bare floor.

Then I realized that what looked like an empty space between his room and a hallway alcove was the shaftway for the "express" elevators for the upper floor and when one went by, it sounded like somebody rolling a cart or something.

He said he was going to go down to the desk and scream at them for giving him a sucky room.

 

I think I've posted this one elsewhere but to continue elevator stories:

I was playing poker at the old IP. Room at the time was downstairs by the front doors. Nature called and the dealer convinced me it was actually quicker to take the elevator up near the sports book rather than walking a mile deep into the casino. I take the elevator and it partially opens on the 2nd floor. A drunk passing by notices and yells "I got you, bro!" He brings an employee over who radios it in. The situation, however, is becoming dire. I explain what's up and he says to hold it. That ain't gonna happen. Dude finds me a trash bag....and reminds me of cameras in the elevator. So I piss into a trashbag in the corner of the elevator. They get it opened fairly quickly and I exit it holding a clear trash bag with a large amount of beer fueled urine. Good times.

 

Two summers ago my family and I were in Vegas for my birthday. Had started the day drinking fruity stuff and had del taco for lunch then more drinking. We went to dinner at yard house on the linq and I found a cider I loved and had a yard of it.. got super drunk as I don't drink like EVER and I started snorting the cinnamon off my birthday dessert platter. Hubby left to go switch our room, then the rest of us left and I was pushing the stroller to the linq with my sister and all of a sudden it hit me, I needed the bathroom NOW.. I asked my sister to grab the stroller and I hightailed it to the bathroom only to shit myself on the way in there and all over the floor and my clothes were just done. Threw the undies in the trash and had to walk out in my shit covered skirt. Got a lecture from my mom about how I shouldn't eat fried food and drink like that .
Mind you I was 31 with 3 kids..
Hubby had a shower waiting for me when i got back to the room.

 

I think I may have posted this before in a trip report or somewhere else here. I am not sure how funny this is, but more a quintessential Vegas story. Probably around 10 years ago, the first day of a trip with my best friend. We had our first BJ session at Aria, I bought in for $200 at a $10 table and turned it into $600. We color up and I have a purple and a black chip.


We are walking through the Bellagio shops heading to another casino, I was tossing the purple chip in the air in front of me, telling him how great it was to be up $400 so early. We had obviously had a few beers and that point and were feeling good. Then all of the sudden the chip is gone, I thought he swiped it when it was in the air in front of me as a joke. He insisted he didn’t take it and told me to check my pockets, I did several times and I didn’t have it. He thought I was joking and I thought he had it. Finally, I was like “don’t be an ass give it back it’s $500, this isn’t funny anymore.” He insisted he didn’t have it and even emptied out his pockets to prove it. So now I was convinced neither one of us had it. We tried to retrace our steps to see if I dropped it. No luck. To this day I don’t know what happened to it. Did someone see me tossing it in the air and take it? I honestly don’t know, but every trip with him after that he teased me about it and asked me if I wanted to go back to the B to look for it. I would have done the same to him. That’s what best friends are for.


So last year on a trip with him we are playing craps and he said he wanted to go up to the room to use the bathroom. We were staying and playing at the Cromwell so going back to the room is almost as easy as using the facilities in the casino. It was late-ish (11:30 or so) our last night and we had early flights back in the morning. After 20 minutes or so he hadn’t come back, I thought it was a little weird but not THAT unusual for him. Maybe an hour later I go back up to the room. He is sitting on the bed looking very dejected. He tells me that he lost a Yellow ($1,000) chip. Lost not at the tables, but lost in the same way my black went missing. He is convinced he was pickpocketed. He said he had a bunch of chips in his pocket and when he needed to buy in for more at the table he would take them all out, use some blacks to get change and put the rest back in his pocket. He thinks someone saw that and took the yellow from him. I think he probably dropped it on the casino floor. A $300 winning trip turned into a $700 loss in the blink of an eye.


I have not been to Vegas with him since that trip, but for sure on our next one I will ask him if he wants me to go to the Cromwell to help him look for his $1,000 chip. That’s what best friends are for!

 

raise hand....

there's a lot but this came to mind... a bunch of us were walking and one lady walked into a bollard and yelled...
I think I broke my pussy

 

I shared this a few years ago, this was from my first trip in 2007:

It was our first trip to Las Vegas. We shared a room with my friend and his wife because they had a deal for $30/night (before resort fees) at MGM Grand, but they could only book one room with that deal. So we did it. We stayed one more night than our friends, but on their last night, about 20-30 minutes after we turned out the lights for the night, it began. A loud knocking on the door. Nobody moved. We ignored it, hoping that it was the wrong door and the person would go away. Alas, they didn't go away. This time the knocking was accompanied by a female's voice. "Precious!" <knock knock knock> "Precious! Let me in!".

Maybe we'll ignore it, maybe she wants the room next to ours. She's loud enough, they'll hear her and open the door to tell her she's knocking on the wrong door. Right? Nope. <knock knock knock> "Precious, I know you're in there! I don't gots my key!" <knock knock knock> "Precious!". My buddy gets up and goes to the door. He knocks back and loudly says "You've got the wrong room, there's no Precious here!". Silence. Wait a minute. She appears to be gone. He opens the door, and nobody is in the hallway. Phew!

Ten. Minutes. Later. <knock knock knock> "Precious! I can't get in! Precious!". We hear other voices in the hallway. Maybe a minute passes, maybe two. "Precious!" <knock knock knock> "Precious!" <knock knock knock> "I know you're in there, Precious!" <knock knock knock>. "Lemme in!". At that point I decided I had enough. I whipped back the sheets, and as I was sitting up my friend's wife, like Flash Gordon, got up and rushed to the door. She unlocked the door, flung it open and screams, "You've got the wrong damn room! There's no Precious here!". And she slams the door. Then I hear "Okay, Precious ain't there." As my friend's wife walks back to bed she says "It was a big black lady who was extremely shocked to see a small white girl open the door. Good night."

I couldn't sleep for about an hour after that. Every noise I heard I was worried that Precious's friend had returned. She didn't return to our room. The next morning, I was hanging with my friend in line as he was waiting to check out, pay his share and then put my card on the room for the last day. We get to the checkout desk and we overhear a guy's answer to "How was your stay?". His response? "Some drunk lady was knocking on our door all night looking for somebody named Precious."! My friend and I looked at each other and killed ourselves laughing.

 

Brother and I go to Vegas SuperBowl Weekend and stay at Mandalay Bay. We are walking the strip drunk and for some reason think that collecting porn slapper cards is a good moral activity. We end up with pockets full. We are sharing a huge suite at MB, which if you're familiar, are at the very end of each hallway. It's a ridiculous walk to get there as it's the last room in the hallway, huge double doors at the entry.

Fast forward 10 hours and I go back to the room around midnight and quickly fall asleep. About 2am my cell phone is ringing and it's my brother. He's giving me shit saying that I'm too drunk to hear him pounding on the door, blah blah blah. He lost his room key and needs me to let him in. He apologizes for the mess he made? He took all his porn slapper cards and was flicking them through the slot between the double entry doors as he was banging (knocking) away trying to wake me up.

I rub the sleep out of my eyes and stagger to the doors to let him in. We are on the phone the entire time. I open the doors and there is no one there. I can see down the hallway for a country mile, with no one in sight. It ends up that not only does he have the wrong suite, he is on the wrong floor.

The thoughts of the poor people in the room as some mad man banged away on the door, talking shit, as porn slapper cards came flying into the room, one after another, makes us laugh to this day.

 

Several years ago, a group of four guys went on a golf trip to Vegas. We all had been to Vegas many times previously, and we decided to go to Ellis Island for breakfast one morning. We parked our white minivan in the parking lot in front of the casino(back when that parking area existed). We went inside, played a bit, had a wonderful breakfast, then went back out to the minivan to go golfing.

Being the driver, i walked up to the drivers door, grabbed the key fob from my pocket and hit the unlock button. All four of us grabbed a door handle, but nothing was unlocked. I hit the unlock button again. Rinse and repeat. The doors just did not unlock. We started talking about contacting Thrifty to get this piece of sh*t minivan replaced. We're going to be late for our very important golf date.

One guy suggested I push the unlock button one more time as he stepped back from our minivan. I pushed the unlock button and he then went into a rage of laughter. When he was finally able to speak, he told us that the white minivan parked next to where we were standing made a sound when the doors on that minivan got unlocked.

We were standing next to the wrong vehicle all along.

 

Not Vegas, but Reno, at the old MGM (Now Grand Sierra), I unlocked my rental car, sat in the driver's seat, then noticed a toy dinosaur on the passenger-side floor. I looked around and noticed I was in somebody else's car! Mine was one row over and I had gotten into a car that was the same make, model, year, and color as my rental. Thinking that the car had been unlocked, I exited, locked it AND unlocked it again.

 

A few trips ago we were staying at MB. I was in the bathroom when this guy walked in talking on his phone. Instead of ending the call, he decided to try to take a whiz and continue his call at the same time. As he was getting ready, the phone slipped from his hand and he began the tip drill to try to catch. He must have tipped it several times but could never control it. It ended up right in the urinal.

 

A series of Events:
In 2011 we were at the Venetian for a work trip/convention. Late in the week we were at the Venetian and found our table open. We both bought in for 100.00. We were up and down and for the most part having a good time. Little did we know that there was an interesting string of events about to unfold. At one point 2 young Asian ladies sat down, one who was already pretty well lit and rather Loud. I'm going to call her Miss Tipsy, while her friend was rather quiet, we'll call her Miss Mouse. Well Miss Tipsy would bang on the table for every hand, calling out the "needed" card for every person at the table. She would high five us, saying "We" did it every time one of us won our hand - I've yet to figure out what she did to cause my win but whatever. At least she was having fun loosing her money. At one point she even hit on my Husband - It but he politely ignored her. Miss Mouse told her to shut up that she sounded like a drunk W*&%% mumble mumble...I caught that. They would leave and come back 2 or 3 times before we had to leave to take care of some business for my company including helping close up the booth, take the Bosslady to eat and to the airport. Chores done we're free for 2 more days! Downtown to gamble for a few hours!

Several hours later we pull into valet at the Venetian and I notice several young Asian women piling out of a Stretch Limo. 5 or 6 of the girls are just standing in a group when the driver comes around and helps one of them pull another one out of the car. Yep you guessed it...Miss Mouse is having to help the driver pull Miss Tipsy or should I say Miss Sloshed!, out of the Limo. I point this out to Lawgiver and sorry to say we both started laughing as she is standing there wobbling, shoes in hand, barely able to walk. Once inside the laughing became almost uncontrollable as we watch Miss Tipsy do the Q'bert Lurch. If you haven't seen the long hallway leading from the lobby to the casino, the tiles are laid in a pattern that gives the optical illusion of block steps. Reminds us of the old Qbert video game. The floor is smooth as glass but I can't walk on it. I see steps and apparently so did Miss Tipsy. She was pretty well lit at 2:30 this afternoon...it's now 2:30 am and apparently she hasn't stopped drinking. We laughed all the way up the elevator ride. As we get to the Venezia lobby, there is a young man who is lost. He can't find the casino. Lawgiver starts to give him directions when we both realize that he's too drunk to follow them. So Lawgiver plays guide and shows the guy the elevators - don't know if he found his way to the casino or not . . . and then on the way to the next set of elevators, we found another couple who were lost as well, we had them follow us but got off on our floor while they were arguing about being on the wrong floor - the Venezia lobby is on the 10th floor, but the rooms numbers start at 1 - confusing I know...hope they figured it out because we headed off to bed still laughing.

 

It was new years eve way back then, I was walking down the middle of the strip with a champagne bottle in each hand. They had cops on elevated stands, I was not supposed to have glass on the strip. A female cop saw me with the bottles and was ready to step down to arrest me, a male cop standing on the platform pulled her back, it was chaos on the strip at that point.

We finally end up in front of the Mirage waiting for the countdown. At that point I really need to use the restroom as apparently everyone else. So I can't get to the restroom, I'm trying to hold it, waiting for the count down. I thought I had a few minutes left so I pull it out and take a piss in the mirage fountain, and just while I'm into to it and cant stop bam, midnight, the volcano goes off it is the New Year, and there I am with it out. I'm just glad this was before cellphones with cameras. I don't think many people even saw what I was doing they were just looking and waiting for the volcano to go off. Anyway, that is one of my best embarrassing vegas stories, what is yours?