Sentir Mon Doigt: or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Midget Strippers

i think she's in miami at her beach house...well down the street from the beach.
thank you @breanna61

 

Love this report and your style, thanks for sharing.

 

Seems like Vegas is the safest place to be. Hope you aren't affected too much.

 

Hope you stay safe and are out of the way of the worst... being in Florida, I know how nasty and dangerous these hurricanes can be....and if they say evacuate = go!!

 

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!

 

Love the report so far hope you can convince the wife it’s a great place to vacation every year

 

Day two in Vegas continued....

After hanging in the Mirage a little bit and licking my wounds, it was off to stroll the strip a little bit before the HL Group Slot Pull at 11.
Mirage from the strip

This was essentially uneventful besides the crying drunk girl melting down outside the Mirage by Rhumbar still dressed from last night’s activities at 930 am, the coke dealer’s outside of Caesar’s offering me their product, and the homeless essentially abusing their dogs by mere possession out in 104 degree heat trying to emotionally strong-arm me into a ‘donation.’ ya know, typical morning in Vegas.
Trekking through Geezer’s Palace and Bellagio was just done really to avoid the heat.
Scoping out some eye candy in Bellagio

Geezer’s Palace


Next it was on to the Cosmopolitan. Hung out in the sports book some to scope out the weekend’s football games.
Finally I headed over to the HL slot room. Quickly I was joined by @UnicornTX, @FordDlr, @notfromconcentrate, @MacAttack, and @tringlomane was there to observe and provide (im)moral support. Everyone was awesome and very friendly. Our luck in the slot pull was mediocre at best. @UnicornTX ’s husband did the best at the Pinball slot with several fun bonus rounds. I chose a Top Dollar machine and got
a few offers but again, nothing to write home about.
When all was said and done, we collectively lost $50 from an initial $200 investment. This was really just a shrug of the shoulders as the group pull itself was a lot of fun but the group meet itself was certainly worth it, just shooting the shit and sharing war stories.
From here, I continued my ambulating journey from Cosmopolitan through Crystals, across Park MGM, NYNY, and to the Excalibur tram onto MB.
B and I rendezvoused in the room. She had been at the spa for the morning. She did a 80 minute facial and a 100 minute hot stone massage. She spoke highly of the spa and said she preferred the facial. After some in room festivities, it was time for more pool time. Temperatures were high (probably 105) so our time here was limited. No drinks, just some quick sun.
B then got ready for the evening while we enjoyed the bubbles provided to us by the hotel; It was a bottle of Prosecco (price was right).

Our original plan for the night was to hit up the Cosmopolitan and do some hit and run eating and drinking before our reservation at
Momofuku at 8pm. In my ‘list’ of potential to-do’s, Happy Hour at the Downtown Cocktail Room was featured prominently. However, I didn’t know how it’d slot in. More than partially inspired by @UnicornTX at the HL slot pull, as she mentioned her along with her daughter and husband were going there for the Happy Hour, I stole her idea. So at around 445 B and I took a lyft over to the Downtown Cocktail Room for Happy Hour.
One quirk about me is that I thoroughly enjoy sharing a ride with others on Lyft/Uber. Financially it generally doesn’t even make sense as the charge with two people (B and I) is almost the same as riding solo, but I just like interacting with the other passenger and hearing what they have to say. This ride over from our Hotel to the Downtown Cocktail Room featured a passenger to remember.
As a Mother of two, B was very much entertained by this ‘lady’ we’ll refer to her as MOTY (mother of the year). We picked her up outside the TMobile Arena/rear of NYNY. MOTY quickly informed the driver and us that she was fucked up. She put the letter B in subtle, to the say the least. MOTY was a local who went to the TMobile arena to pick up concert tickets for her two kids, aged 14 and 15 and their 14 year old friend, to attend by themselves that evening (JCole). After securing the seats, MOTY ventured into NYNY to play penny slots and do shots of vodka (again all this information was unsolicited and self-reported).
While in the car/traffic to DCR, MOTY called her kids to inform them to behave at the concert and act like responsible young adults. This ironic message was of course delivered with slurred speech and drunken banter, f-bombs aplenty. She also told us her kids were angels but it was her husband (probably FOTY) she had to worry about. Finally after the Friday evening traffic, The lyft driver smiled and dropped us off at the Downtown Cocktail Room and we bid him and MOTY adieu.
I was aware of their entrance situation and walked around to the side-door. At approximately 515pm, the DCR was quiet. For those unfamiliar with it, it’s a cocktail lounge which is designed for groups and build for conversation. Music is played but not at a deafening level. Service was initially slow as apparently the waitress just began her shift. The Happy Hour features half-off everything. I ordered a Paloma while B ordered a featured drink on their list which was tequila based and served down (opposite of up).

The cocktails were outstanding. Mine was more of a lighter, aperitif-style drink rather than a get smashed quick, which was fine as it was going to be a longer night and I am a cheap drunk who did not eat a lot during the day.
The next round was of our choosing. I got a Martinez, my favorite cocktail, while I ordered B an Aviation. You may be saying to yourself, ‘WTF is a Martinez?’ well my response would be, it is a gin based cocktail for those that hate gin. It’s just great. Order it next time you’re at a decent bar, and you’ll thank me. An Aviation for those who don’t know is also a gin-based drink but slightly more girly, and very girly looking (we eat and drink with our eyes). B loved her drink as well and we chowed down on the various snacks we ordered, cashews, almonds, and I enjoyed the girthy pickle on a stick. Lastly, we shared an absinthe to finish. The waitress recommended this one as good for a gateway/starter absinthe. The nose was pure anise (not anus, luckily) but it drank really easy and minimal burn, if at all. Wherever you are staying, I highly recommend a visit to DCR, especially for the Happy Hour. 5 drinks and 2 sets of the snacks was like $32 pre-tip.




With a decent buzz, we then ventured across the street to Evel Pie for some pre-dinner slices. B had a slice of some white pie and I got one which featured canadian (sore-ee) bacon and jalapeño. These two slices (together) were like $15 or so, not cheap, but again, it’s vacation, right? keep telling yourself that till the CC bill
comes next month.



While waiting for the slices, I ordered the lyft and it came before we could start eating. I asked the driver if he was fine with us eating in the car and he obliged (it was not like we were having mussels or ribs). The pizza was very good.
Finally he dropped us off at the Cosmopolitan for our dinner at Momofuku. On the OpenTable resi I had indicated it was our Anniversary and they were well aware. B and I were seated at a really cool, secluded table on the 2nd level of the restaurant. Normally with tables I don’t give a shit as long as they are flat, but this was just nice.
The waitress Leslie also acknowledged our Anniversary by pouring comp bubbles. Again, nice touch. I apologetically informed her that we weren’t doing a grand meal, just ramen x2. Lame right? But it was a great meal and Leslie ended it by giving us a Milkbar cookie to take to go. If you go to Momofuku, ask for Leslie and order a bigger meal to make up for ours After leaving an appropriate tip and complimenting her service to the floor manager, it was off to the Strip to take in a fountain show(B’a first) before Opium.


Opium went exactly how I thought it would, and I freakin’ loved it. I should have got B more liquored up. She sorta liked it. She’s not a prude (she’s married to me), she just doesn’t like the dick jokes as much as me, I guess. Also, I am an easy ‘mark’ for a Vegas show. Interesting fact about me, I have been hypnotized about a half dozen times, half of that in Vegas at various shows. I’ve been told I am easy to hypnotize; My guess is I am just willing to be entertained (or maybe B would say I follow suggestion/direction well?) My point is I went into the show wanting to like it, and that worked. Also, if you like dick jokes and topless women, it’s probably the show for you.


After Opium, we Lyfted back to the Four Seasons and passed out. End of Day 2.

 

Great stuff so far and was nice meeting you at the slot pull! Be safe with the hurricane!

 

thank you, i tend to under-worry about these things. i balance out my wife

 

Nice reading so far! That ramen looks so good. And Opium was hilarious. But I'm also 12, so...

 

loved the part about MOTY - haha