Live, spotaneous 48-hour dilapidation

Curious when you order such costly booze, how do they measure the pour?

 

Wasn't he just buying it by the bottle or something?

 

when someone orders king Louie in new orleans, they have a manager come out and watch you fill the shot glass to the purchased measurement. glass has gold line for half, full and double shot

 

It's a cookbook!

Excellent TR, @zigzagging!
All Vegas trip reports tickle my fancy, but your TR tickled parts of my fancy I didn't know I had!
Great commentary and awesome pics!
Thank you for taking us to The Twilight Zone!

RICHARD

 

I'm glad you enjoyed Richard. As a long time lurker but first time poster on these forums, I've always got a kick out of your creativity and sense of humor.

A $25 taxi ride in traffic and I'm back at Cosmo with way too little time and way to much gambling I still want to do. Most of my slot and video poker sessions have been complete loses and I haven't even gambled at a table. I simply didn't have time to fit in solid multi-hour gambling sessions with all of the bar hopping I chose to do. I have been awake for 42 of the last 45 hours I was in town and I'm not about to take a nap during the last 3 hours before I leave. My feet are killing me from walking a few miles this morning, so I relax and pack my bags before heading downstairs for 30 last minutes of gambling. My first stop is to go visit my new bartender friends in the downstairs high limit table room. I order a coffee and when the bartender asks what alcohol I want in it I can't resist and ask for some Bailey's. It doesn't count when it's not straight liquor, right? She takes it up a notch and adds a Spanish liqueur that's flavored with 43 herbs and spices and similar to Italian Amaro's the recipe is a family-kept secret. Not that anyone would want to steal and try and recreate a recipe with over 40 ingredients, but it's the uniqueness of the liqueur that makes it special. The Licor Cuarenta Y Tres adds a nice citrus and herbal touch to the drink, and it's this sort of attention to detail and craftsmanship that the Cosmo employees have (in particular the bartenders). Coffee and alcohol flowing freely and I blow through $1000 on $5/credit, $25/spin Double Double Double Bonus in less than 10 minutes and it looks like I will be going home this trip without a single four of a kind. I say my farewells to the staff in the lounge and go blow another $2500 in the high-limit slot room on Diamond Queen and DaVinci Diamonds. Best hits I had on each were $150 and $200, respectively.





































































Time isn't on my side, so I decide it's time to call it quits with gambling this trip and head to the airport. I go back upstairs to grab my briefcase and duffel bag and I do a safe/pocket dump. At first glance it appears my shenanigans cost me 20 to 30 thousand dollars. This trip involved more rapid-fire big wagers and less total time gambling than my usual. I walk downstairs to the Cosmo valet pickup and l'm happy to find the car I valeted about 48 hours ago is parked right outside the doors where the valet told me it would be. It takes 15 minutes to get to the rental facility and I purposely take the shuttle to the wrong terminal so I can explore more of the airport before my flight. Just like Cosmo, the airport has a lot of art installments throughout the property. I know how hard it can be to resist grabbing a seat at a bar or slot/video poker machine before your flight out of Vegas, but if you ever have extra time you should explore the exhibits you have yet to check out.



















After roaming about Terminal 1 for about 20 minutes I proceed outside to the shuttle bus pick-up for Terminal 3. I check my briefcase and walk to one of the two security checkpoints to find they have completely redone the X-ray scanner setup. To begin with, a British Labrador is pacing the switchbacks of the security line smelling everyone's person and belongings. Every 10 people or so the dog pauses and does a double sniff, which prompts his handler to allow the dog to take a closer smell. After a couple of whiffs the dog moves on and looks for the next drool victim. Since the dog is making sure no one has explosives, all of the passengers are allowed to proceed as if they are TSA Pre-Check (shoes can stay on and you walk through metal detector and not full-body scanner). In addition to the pup, instead of grabbing a bin for your personal belongings from a stack you wait for a bin to magically appear on the lower level of two conveyor belts. The bins are a little bigger than the usual ones and they are replenished by feeding them into a well at the far end of the apparatus. This setup seems much more efficient to the nonsense in place at most airports. I blaze through security in less than 5 minutes, which means I have five more minutes to find some alcohol. I begin roaming about the "E gates" for a bit before catching the tram on the level below for the "D gates". I have 15 minutes to spare so I stop off at a couple bars for a quick double shot of Herradura añejo tequila (oh how I love the half priced shots for doubles at most United States airports) and a screwdriver. Right before I get on the plane I grab a quick to-go sandwich from Port of Subs. I'm the second to last person on the plane but I still manage to score a screwdriver before taxiing, but I'm only given about three minutes to drink as much of it as I can. Next stop, a brief layover in Newark, NJ followed by a short flight to Boston, MA for a 3-night stay. This time I have a hotel room booked, a dinner reservation for tomorrow night, and a ticket to a show on Thursday night. The rogue persona I adopted in Vegas was temporarily left in Sin City, and I'm going to spend the next three days relaxing. I would love to bring you along for the ride but I won't have enough down time to write another novel. Don't sweat it though, I only left Paradise, Nevada two hours ago and I just booked a flight back to Clark Country in two weeks!

"I have long understood that losing always comes with the territory when you wander into the gambling business, just as getting crippled for life is an acceptable risk in the linebacker business. They both are extremely violent sports, and pain is part of the bargain. Buy the ticket, take the ride."

"One of the most basic factors in sports is that winning becomes a habit, and losing is the same way. When failure starts to feel normal in your life or your work or even your darkest vices, you won't have to go looking for trouble, because trouble will find you. Count on it."

-- Hunter S. Thompson

 

See you in two weeks, I'll expect to see you driving the Chevy Spark :-D

 

You are a man after my own heart, although you can afford more expensive hearts than mine.

 

I used to know a cab driver in Boston, and once two little old ladies he picked in front of the Ritz told him properly where they were going. "Have you ever been on a cab with a drunken driver?", he asked. "No", they replied. "Well, you are now!", he said as he slammed on the accelerator. I don't know why this report reminded me of him. You are in no danger of having him as driver as he is probably retired now. Anyway, you could win back your losses and more in Everett in a few years, but perhaps you will do that in two weeks in Nevada. Looking forward to your further adventures. Cheers!

 

I think this may be my most favorite trip report of all time. It is certainly the greatest thing this side of tdhoier.

I am loving all the pictures of both Cosmopolitan and Aria. Don't fucking tell me that Cosmo isn't a beautiful fucking property.



You should have ordered either the tamarind or pineapple margaritas at Javier's.


-1 for leaving out the pictures of your dining companions!

 

Epic TR! Can't wait until two weeks rolls around to do it all again

 

Thank you for taking us all along with you on your exploits.
Your pictures, with the attention on architectural details/designs .....paired with your richly descriptive words made your story come to life.
I felt like I was right there with you while you were living your own Hunter S. Thompson moments.
Thanks for the ride!

 

Great trip report! Maybe if you are lucky, Bellagio will have a giant Apple store placed over the fountains to compete with Caesars ;-)

 

Awesome Report!!

 

BRAVO BRAVO

 

In my mind my excursions are a match of your. In reality it is only a dream.
I would just like to sniff the glass from a $2400 pour, probably lick it dry

 

Best TR ever.

 

I thoroughly enjoyed this Z.Z. Man, you're a seriously good writer. Kudos to whatever you did in life to be able to afford such epic Las Vegas excursions. This has to be one of the best trip reports I've ever read - next to TD's absolutely filthy exploits, of course.

I really don't know what I'm looking forward to more, your next trip report, or my visit in 40 something days...

Cheers to you good sir, and thanks.

 

This is quite possibly the best TR I've ever read, and I normally prefer the primarily-gambling ones. You're up there within pocky and tbone territory my friend. The level of detail and urbanity to your exploits has me really wishing I was coming to Vegas in 2 weeks instead of four so I can meet you (I start a new job Monday so that probably wouldn't be the best idea lol).

Cheers man, myself and many, many others await your next trip.

 

Thank you! Amazing TR.

 

What a TR