May 11-16th: Anotha' One.

Note: All names in this TR have been altered to maintain anonymity due to my posting of it in multiple places. I refer to myself as Svein (my Vegas name), and to the others by names not given to them by their parents.

Apologies for the delay on this. It's funny, because I was harassing Armaan to finish his side of the TR about 3-4 weeks ago, and after he sent it, I sat on it for a few weeks. Better late than never! I'll post it section-by-section so that you don't have to scroll so much every page.

Enjoy!

 

Preface/Pre-TR:


I'm lying in bed right now, one sleep and a day of work away from another Vegas trip. I'm not sure how it happened, really, but I'm going back less than 2 months from last trip. Armaan, probably one of the top 5 coolest cats I've ever met (top 5 top 5 top 5), wrangled me in for another round. Unfortunately, KEITH and STEVE won't be joining us this trip, but we have a few heads from the JC forums splitting bottles with us and such, so we'll see how everything plays out. Svein is coming out to play in the 100-degree heat. In honor of Kevin from last trip, I brought along the "Sunday Funday" tank top he gave me, and you can bet you’re a** I'm wearing it on Sunday. For you, Kevin!


This trip will include a brief downtown visit, as Wednesday night is at The D. I won't arrive until about 11pm so I won't have a hell of a lot of time there, but I'm sure I'll get the vibe enough to know if I want to revisit downtown in the future. I'm looking forward to the low minimums and these rumored dancing dealers at the tables.


At the Cosmo the rest of the trip, I'll be picking up right where I left off last trip. Coming hot off a $1800+ slot win, I'll be back at the tables and slots, enjoying the eye candy, and filling up on verbenas.


My trip goals:

- At least 2 bottle service tables/daybeds (check)

- Explore/Enjoy the party pit at the D (eh)

- Acquire 4 numbers and/or snapchats (nope)

- Hang with a chick on the terrace at Cosmo (definitely nope)

- Find K***** from last trip on Friday (noooope)

- Plant seeds for a potential new Vegas wife (local) and acquire phone number (nope, none local)

- Gamble at a CET property and chase comps (whoops, nope)

- Place a sports bet (oops)

- Stay active and interesting on my Vegas snapchat story (At least I started well?)

- Compile a kick-a** trip report to share with the world (not quite kick-a**, but sure)



Foreword:


As kind of a foreword, I want to say 2 things: First of all, my criteria listed above do not define success. I met maybe 2 of them but still had an amazing trip. Secondly, I want to warn you that I took HORRIBLE notes this trip. Horrible. Most of the time I was throwing a couple words together 36-48 hours after the fact, which really makes you lose some of the granular details or fun moments. Armaan is writing a TR in parallel, and we have not discussed or recapped the trip yet. It should be very interesting to see two sides of the same coin. That being said, I hope you enjoy the report


*** Prologue by Armaan


*** Let me first start with an apology here. After our first epic trip in March and Svein's follow-up TR, (which I professed to be his Magna Carta) I was so inspired to write one myself I schemed and persuaded Svein that I would join him in his writing adventures for our next trip. In fact, it would be fun to write one in parallel without sharing notes during the trip to get another "fresh" perspective on the same chain of events. Alas, however, I failed miserably. I did manage to take some good notes on day one, while I was solo, but I ended up getting permanent writer's block post trip. I call this phenomenon the "Kevinungitis" disease -- where one claims he/she will drop an epic TR, but of course nothing materializes. I only awoke from this coma after reading yet another brilliant TR from Svein (As you shall soon see) and decided to redeem myself as best I could. Hence I have added my own notes to Svein’s version, identified by three asterisks. Keep in mind, I in no way can compete with Svein's colorful writing and vivid commentary, but am only providing additional insight into what is already another masterpiece by TheChosen1 himself. ***





*** Pre-TR Thoughts


*** This was originally written to be included in my own TR, but I still feel it is fitting to include this here.


I am writing this, knowing Vegas is only a short ten days away. It is truly a blessing to be going again after my long 10-day stint in March & April (or a serious addiction), but I will admit I do have some nerves this go around; primarily with the expectation to deliver yet another experience for Svein. I am not sure if this is a “responsibility” that I have created artificially, but I do feel as the veteran of this two-man group, I have to spearhead a certain level of experience, or at least match the euphoria from the last trip. Call it altruism, call it Vegas enabling, or call it constantly pushing my boundaries; whatever it is, I can’t deny this internal feeling. This probably sums up my on-court position best:




Other than this, and a few minor gambling goals, the mission statement for this trip remains the same – Create a memorable experience for ourselves through changing the lives of others. I will leave the ambiguity in this, much like many well respected NPO’s, thus feeling my cause is noble and with good merit. ***

 

Wednesday:


My flight out of Boston was an early evening flight with a layover in Denver. Travelling Southwest this time (seriously, Spirit is the worst), I was able to check two bags: the necessities, and the "shoes n' booze" bag. During my layover, I watch my Portland Trailblazers get smacked by the Warriors while enjoying a beautiful White Russian made with Richardo's coffee liqueur. This is the first time I've had this particular brand, and I was very impressed. It had some notes of chocolate which I really enjoyed. Armaan had already landed, and was telling me all about his first experiences on Fremont--Pizza Rock, the party pit at the D, the canopy, etc. I couldn't wait to arrive.


Finally I touchdown and snag a Lyft to The D. The trip has begun.


I have to make a note here. This whole arrival and even the first half of the trip was completely surreal. None of it felt like it was happening. Think about it this way: I'd only REALLY experienced Vegas once. I'd only met Armaan two months ago on our last trip, and now I'm sharing a room with the guy, back in Vegas for the second time in 50 days. Nothing seemed right, and it was... surreal. There's no other way to put it.


Walking through the casino, there wasn't TOO much going on. I saw a few of the dancing dealers, but the crowd was pretty much gone.


I take the elevator up 17 floors and knock on the door of 1830. "Svein?!"


Armaan opens the door and we greet as if we've been friends for years. A newly opened bottle of Crown sits on the TV stand, begging to join me in the genesis of my trip. The room wasn't bad and had a pleasant smell; it had a very "normal" feel to it, and it seemed clean and maybe even newly remodeled. Armaan and I catch up for a bit, and he then gives me the reigns on what to do that night. I toss around a few ideas--most based around Fremont. A guy we'd been in contact with from the forums, Fredrick, was heading to Surrender. After very little thought, I was back in degen mode: "F*** it man. Let's do it."


I rip open my bag of shoes n' booze to find that the cap of my Tito's handle is cracked and the bottle of lime juice has exploded. On the bright side, my footwear remained citrus-fresh all week. I pull out a giant bottle of Malibu and start drinking it on the rocks.


At this point I actually tried to iron a shirt and pants, but the ironing board refused to cooperate. I threw on an un-ironed shirt and pants, asked Armaan about 20 times if I looked okay, threw back another drink, and headed out to catch our Uber to Encore.


We met Fredrick right outside Surrender, briefly said hello, and rolled into the club. Honestly, we didn't do too much here. We more or less were just catching vibes, listening to the DJ, and walking around drinking 3 or 4 vodka RedBulls. We lingered for a couple hours and then split at around 3. Armaan and I headed back to the D where he went to bed, and I went to do some heavy gambling. I continued drinking and quickly lost a few hundred dollars on a combination of BJ, Craps, and slots--emphasis on the slots. I made my way to a Top Dollar machine on the second floor and fed it a couple bills. I selected the 25 cent denomination and started playing. Three spins in, I realized it was $25 denomination not 25 cent. Ouch. I lost $150 in 10 seconds. That was a rough night of gambling, as I lost another couple hundred dollars very quickly. Defeated, I came back to the room and crashed.


*** With a delay-free flight coming out of YYZ, I arrived at the D sometime shortly after 12pm, after taking the thriftiest possible method of transportation which included 7 stops before reaching The D. My sound judgement determined saving $7 at the start of the trip would be a good omen for sound decisions for the rest of the trip – I will tally the score at the end of this TR to determine the outcome.


This was my first visit downtown, and I quickly morphed into tourist mode. Walked Freemont street and ate at Pizza Rock and Le Thai – both recommendations from a few forum members – and they didn’t disappoint! After about 2 hours of $10 min BJ I decided to take my $50 winnings to Top Dollar and try my luck. Well clearly this machine had it for both Svein and I as it swallowed $250 in about 18 minutes. – The irony here was that Svein and I decided to both play this machine independently and only realized this during our morning after drunken woes.


It’s now around dinner time, and feeling dejected and still on my thrift spending spree, I decide McDonald’s at The D was the most logical choice. This would also help with my planned nap, since I was antsy for Svein to get here, and I needed a recharge to adapt to the new time zone. Drinks thus far: 0; Good decisions made: -1


My planned nap failed (as did many other “planned activities” throughout the trip) as I ended up lying in bed contemplating how to make the most of the night, without doing anything productive about it. Svein finally gets to the room with two monster sized bags and I greet him enthusiastically as if he just arrived with my smuggled 20 kilos of coke.

After exchanging pleasantries, I begin to notice Svein’s exceptional packing skills. Remember those two bags I mentioned? – Well Svein cleverly decides that checking-in a zero cushioned duffle bag with 7 bottles of alcohol, padded with 6 pairs of shoes would be the best and most efficient way to transport these items. His other check-in, a hard shell suitcase produced about 1 month’s worth of clothes, all of which were sprawled out on his bed for my viewing pleasure. Drinks thus far: 2, Good decisions made: - 2


Our calm downtown gambling night was quickly thwarted and usurped in typical Vegas degenerate fashion, after some YOLO comments were uttered. (For better or worse, there really is no defence mechanism once you start dropping YOLO commentary) I talked to my host once we link up with Fredrick at the entrance of Surrender, and he comps us 3 entries. Life is good. Drinks thus far: 4 ½, Good Decisions made + 1


The ratio at Surrender wasn’t in our favour, but it was good to just be out in the Vegas air and scenery; akin to batting practice on a sunny afternoon’s off-game day. Nothing much I can comment on here, and even a contrived story would be too lofty of a venture. We parted ways with Fredrick around 3am and Svein and I headed back to The D. I decided gambling wasn’t going to happen for me when Svein caught me dozing off at the Quick Hits machine as I watched him play. Goodnight Svein and good luck you fiend! ***

 

Thursday:


Armaan and I wake up a couple hours before check-out, and re-cap while we pack our bags. We head down and play some UTH for a while, and I won back about $80 from my losses last night. My only hope is that the D comps me a couple nights! We actually earned enough points on our player's cards to enter into a drawing for some awesome Mustang Shelby. I believe I received three entries and Armaan received two.


This whole morning was weird. I continually did stupid things over and over again, or was just a clutz in general. For example, in UTH I beat the dealer with a straight and let him take my money (thanks to Armaan, I was paid correctly), I didn't enter a PIN for me freeplay at the D, and many other events that I forget now. Armaan continually called me out on this, and I was glad it eventually came to a halt. My General Counsil (GC) status was temporarily suspended due to my poor performance.


*** Svein was just a mix bag of emotions that morning. Part trance, from the jet-lag, time zone changes, late night at Surrender and superior performance on the top-dollar machines he could hardly be blamed. Regardless, his antics were detrimental to the team and more importantly to himself. I had to suspend GC rights for half the day. However, in Tolkien-esqe fashion I will allude to a later event where Svein leveled up instantly on Friday night and earned the Victoria Cross for his exploits ***


We go back to our rooms, grab our bags, check-out, and grab an Uber to THE COSMOPOLITAN. Last trip was my first time staying there, and I truly believe this will be a staple for every trip moving forward. We head to the identity desk to check-in, and Armaan has a group of like 3-4 rooms he needs to check-in for a bachelor party. He sorts everything out, and they tell us that OUR room won't be ready for a while. We hang around a bit, make a Walgreens run, and wait some more. We got antsy and headed to the front desk, since the lady at the Identity desk didn't seem to like us very much (for example, when we asked her what the room upgrade options were available, she basically cut Armaan off and said "We have no complimentary upgrades." We never even hinted at a comp upgrade! Her attitude was just very off-putting. This is not typical for the staff at Cosmo). At the front desk, we were greeted by a very genuinely happy man. We discussed our situation with him as he looked into our reservation, and he basically pleaded with us to not switch our room, as we were chalked up for a very nice block of rooms. We had a great conversation, and ended up taking his advice, and I received the "your room is ready" text within a couple minutes. Coincidence? I think he had something to do with it. We checked-in to our fountain-view terrace room on the 69th floor!


*** I wanted to add a scene which took place in the Uber ride on the way to Cosmo that became the start of our animalistic behaviour that I think is worth mentioning. Picture this: two men, shortly after lunch, in the backseat of a Ford pick-up (Ya apparently trucks qualify as Uber cars in Nevada?) gleaming with excitement as the vehicle inches closer to the strip, all the while realizing the real fun for the weekend is about to begin and the need to instantly transform into game hunters. Svein the digital pick-up artist he is, quickly informs me to activate my Tinder and Bumble account, I comply instantly without hesitation, like a low-ranking soldier adhering to his general’s commands. Then, 45 seconds of pure silence was followed by:

Armaan: “f*****k!......dammmnnn......ohhhh my god......nerrrhhhhhh…...f****k Svein, f**k!......that has to be fake” (trailed off by more incoherent sounds and grunts)


Svein: “Dude, I matched with 2 Asians and a Russian chick” ***


We finally get to fully unpack and organize our things. We blast Views from the 6 while we're sorting everything out and pop some bubbly to celebrate our arrival. The real trip was about to begin.


That evening, we met up with Fredrick and Eugene (another forum meet-up) at Yellowtail (at Bellagio?) and indulged in some delicious sushi. Eugene was incredibly generous and gave me tastes of some of his high-grade sushi. It was delicious. We ate, drank, and BS'd for about 90 minutes before heading out. Of course, we needed to "make gambol" as Eugene would say, so we hit the craps and roulette tables. Eugene and I lost quickly on craps, but then won it back on Black. I called 20 black, but neither of us bet the single number. That was the end of the day; it was time to begin our night at Intrigue.


So much happened at Intrigue, and since we were drowning in liquor even before the club--it's hard to remember. I'll hit you with the highlights, and hope that it jogs my memory since I have no notes on the night:


We arrive early for our bottle reservation, and per usual, I heard the customary "Armaan?! Is that you?!" You have GOT to be kidding me. This dude knows millions of people, I swear. Turns out its a girl he went to school with in Canada, and she's there with like 6-7 of her good friends. One of these friends I was very keen on, but it turns out she's married. Fml right?


*** Does that even matter bro? ***


We head to the table, and our waitress Julia was incredibly cute--the ideal cute-sweet-sassy combo. She brings our bottle to table 75 and I immediately request a vodka RedBull, apparently Julia's drink of choice. My kind of girl right there! Hans, another acquaintance from a forum, showed up with his wife at some point. He seemed like a pretty chill guy and his wife was very nice. I barely spoke with either of them this night--more on them Saturday night. Another surprise appearance was like the ENTIRE STAFF of Spearmint Rhinos showed up. Literally 30-40 angelic girls dressed in all white paraded through the doors and started filling the tables around us. If heaven were a promiscuous place, I'd imagine it would rival this moment.


After 2-3 vodka RedBulls, I was feeling great. I had been forewarned of Armaan's friend, Ranjan, who would be joining us tonight. From all the things Armaan told me, I felt like I'd love the guy. He didn't disappoint. I greeted him with an inside joke that Armaan informed me of, and it was all laughs from then-on. Some of us hit the dance floor about an hour later.


I found one Mexican girl that piqued my interest, and she acted friendly so I danced with her. I found out her name was K****a and that she was from Oregon. We danced for 3-4 songs, but there really wasn't anything there, so as she started showing signs of release, drunken idiot Svein starts flirting with her white friend WHILE dancing with her. After the current song ended, I made the switch to white-girl K*****a. Yeah, same name, different spellings. What is happening.


Turns out white K*****a goes to school in Boston (where I live) and this is K****a's and K*****a's first trips to Vegas, as they're both 21. I was really having a good time dancing with the less-attractive white K*****a. She was fun and talkative, and obviously there to have a good time. Ranjan relayed a story from the dancefloor the following day. I'm using quotes, but I really don't know the exact words... this is the closest I can get to exact-words:


"So, you are dancing with this girl when the song 'B***h, Back Up Off Me' comes on. You are dancing and having a good time when the chorus hits. The first 'ooo ya-ya b***h, back up off me' plays and you back up off her as the song says. But then you think, 'Wait. If I am the one backing off her, that makes me the b***h. I am NOT the b***h!'


So you were thinking about this the whole second verse and were ready when the next round came. The next time 'ooo ya-ya b***h, back up off me' plays, you reach out with your palm on her face and push her away from you. You HEISMAN'd her (I believe Armaan may have interjected that comment).


*** All accounts are 100% factual here and yes you in fact did Heisman her as if she was your last obstacle at the 10 yard line between you and the end zone ***


And I [Ranjan] thinks, 'Oh no, what is Svein doing?!' but you remove your hand from her face and she is smiling. I couldn't believe it; she was SMILING after you stiff armed her in the face! What a boss move."


Here's another drunken-idiot Svein story for you. After I was dancing with white K*****a for a while, I see Armaan swoop in and dance with Mexican K****a. After a while, white K*****a says "Your friend looks like he really likes my friend."


Now, this may have been simple conversation, it may have been "why aren't you showing me as much love?", or it may have been a genuine observation--I don't know the motive. However, I responded with a "Yeah, and your friend seems to be really into my friend." She nodded, but somewhat hesitantly.


Let's be frank. I come to Vegas for three main reasons: to have fun, to party, to vacation, to meet girls, and to gamble. Apparently I didn't have my fix of gambling that day. K*****a has a dollar on her, so I bet her a dollar that Armaan would end up taking K****a home. Svein. What. Are. You. Doing.


My apologies, Armaan.


*** Svein I think those are 5 reasons, but could also be argued they are in fact one reason that happens simultaneously. I also don’t know if I should be thrilled that you had faith in me that I would close Mariano Rivera styles, or appalled, that your faith in me was only worth $1 (insert wondering emoji face here)


Apology accepted, kinda. ***



Worst-case scenario happened. The K****a/K*****a duo discussed said bet on the dancefloor. They didn't seem too bothered by it, but I'm sure it set off red flags in their young minds. Meanwhile, their ...awkward(?) friend danced with a guy who looked like a Velociraptor double in Jurassic World.


Long story short, they didn't come back with us. Whether or not my bet played into that decision is unknown, but it certainly couldn't have helped. I've texted this girl since the trip, and she appears to be somewhat morally upstanding, so I'm not surprised by the fact she didn't come back with me. Mexican K****a wasn't texting Armaan the same vibes in the days following Intrigue... I'll leave it at that


We arrived back at our room and crashed at about 5am.


Note: I did, in fact, pay K*****a her $1 winnings before I left the club.


*** I can’t really add much to this story, except to offer a tested hypothesis here. Of course I am totally oblivious to the fact Svein is making side bets and parlays on my behaviour that night, but rather just trying to focus on my complete game, 3-hitter. I would say the failure occurred partly due to the fact Svein psychologically made these girls conscious of their behaviour, and the outcome we desired. Most women at that age, need to let the night end in an unplanned, “oops, it kinda just happened” sort of way. More importantly with this, they often need to do this discreetly and under the guise of either going to eat or some other lame excuse, if at all questioned. Of course openly betting on this, nullifies everything above.


But the bigger reason the fail occurred was a problem I feel most men have experienced when in Vegas, when trying to close on a group of n females, where n > 2. The problem lies with the mother hen, or as Svein has described it, Velociraptor. These female mammals, need constant feeding and attention and are ALWAYS on the bottom of the food chain amongst their crew. This results in the well fed members to constantly want to ensure mother hen is fed, or distracted so they can be free from her terror.


[Mexican] K****a did ask me on numerous occasions, while I was playing Twister with her on the dance floor, about my friend Ranjan, for her friend Velociraptor. Now as much as I wanted to close that night, I just couldn’t let Ranjan get entwined in the clutches of that beast, regardless of the benefit I would receive. It got so desperate at the end of the night, where she openly gave me an ultimatum of “convince” your friend to “talk” to my friend, and we can go grab some “secret pizza” immediately after. After smiling for 3.2 seconds and glancing at Ranjan with this look that I am about to cannibalize my own kin, I instantly saw the fear on his face; him likely understanding the conversation that took place from our body language over the loud speakers at Intrigue. Sadly, no sacrificial lambs were slaughtered. Mother Hen: 1-0; team decisions made: 1

 

Friday:



We woke up late. Well, Armaan woke up late. He wanders into the room where I'm sleeping and says, "Svein! F**k Svein, f**k! It's noon!"


Armaan tends to use names and "f**k" quite often, so this was not surprising. He enjoys making f**k-name-f**k sandwiches in his speech. It sounds weirder than it actually is, trust me.


***Such Lies Svein!, Lies! ***


Anyways, we were very much behind schedule. After a couple sips of Pedialyte, we begin to drink again. Armaan had some papers to sign and fax for business purposes, so I was chilling with him in the business center drinking more vodka Red Bull until he was finished. We made our way to McDonalds to grab a quick bite, and we were off to Drai's to meet up with Fredrick and Hans. The scene wasn't too wild, but it was definitely enjoyable. I didn't wander from our table.


*** Svein also did not get burned, which was a deathly fear of his. Svein: 1, Sun: 0 ***


After a couple hours there, Armaan and I moved to Cosmo where some of his friends (including Ranjan) were celebrating a bachelor party. Now listen, my love for Indians has grown exponentially since meeting Armaan, KEITH, and STEVE last trip. But I was overwhelmed. This bachelor party was easily 10 people, and then a group of 10 or so brown girls also get in the pool when we do. literally 18 of the 20 were brown, one was Asian, and one was a tall lanky white guy (me). That had to be quite a sight. I laid low the whole time, only talking to a few of the girls--who didn't even believe I was with the group.


*** I had just come back from the men’s washroom, when all of the above parties were splashing in the pool. Much like an endangered mountain gorilla who was captured in the wild and then, for the first time, released into an enclosed environment with all of his new companions, Svein was this gorilla. A look of bewilderment on his face, curiosity, anxiousness and male prodding began to ensue. He tried first to make friends with these opposing groups, but the clan(s) had none of it. He then looked toward the DJ and nodded his head in excitement to show no f**ks were given and was fine as the black swan. I could see him then searching for a familiar face (likely mine) but to no avail. Finally, with the warmth of the pool keeping him ensnared in its infested waters, Svein retreated to a corner, like dejected cattle, slowly dipping his head beneath the surface. ***


Then it happened, AGAIN. Armaan was recognized by one of the girls. Apparently he was friends with her sister or something--I'm not sure. I was too busy hugging the pool wall trying not to stand out. Once it started winding down, we headed back to the room.


*** Don’t you hate when the younger siblings of illegitimate relationships resurface in your life? I do know however, I gained about 25 good karma points since the bachelor group now had an easy way to meet some new girls. Changing Lives, changing lives. ***


As I was catching up on my social media (mainly Snapchat), I saw that two girls from back home were also in Vegas. One was at Paris and the other at Encore, I believe. I touched base with them and tried to meet-up with the one, but she was departing the next day and said we could meet for breakfast at 8am. No thank you!


We decided to have a light dinner at a tapas restaurant in the Cosmo. I can't for the life of me remember what the name of the place was, but it was amazing. Armaan and I shared a shrimp and rice dish, while I ordered a shrimp and garlic dish and a salmon cone. I believe he ordered a salmon dish. Everything was amazing, and I was satisfied. About an hour and a half later, Armaan and I had some... digestive troubles. I'm assuming it was the shrimp since it hit us both. But we re-cooped and started pounding drinks and getting ready for our night at Marquee.


*** Jaleo. ***


We had a ton of people at our indoor Marquee table: Hans & wife, Eugene & friend, Fredrick, Armaan's "Vegas wife" & her friend, Armaan, and myself. That's NINE people if you lost count. I think this table was supposed to fit 4-5. Needless to say, the table area was pretty crowded. Dash Berlin was set to perform, and he put on a great show. Due to my pre-gaming and the magnum of Belvedere sitting on our table, I got hammered too quickly and cut myself off. If anyone was at Marquee that night and saw a tall white dude walking around with orange juice--that was me. Armaan's "Vegas wife" was an absolutely beautiful girl with an equally beautiful personality. I was genuinely happy to see them vibing and having such a good time. Her friend was also an amazing person, but I didn't talk to her very much in the club--just a little bit initially before I started wandering around. Fredrick wandered with me a couple times, I was solo a few times, and Hans's wife even went on the prowl with me once trying to be my wingman. However, she quickly saw how much of a sausage fest it was. Earlier in the night it was much better; I shouldn't have procrastinated. I actually prophesied to Armaan at the beginning of the night that the beginning was going to be the most ideal time to go talk to girls. I guess I should've followed my own advice. That being said, I did strike up conversations with a few girls, but I didn't get much traction as most were very group-oriented.


*** Touche, Svein, Touche. The early bird gets the worm right? Unless you are shatter proof with the 4SR! ***


Once everything was winding down, I find Fredrick and no one else. It seemed as if our table had vanished, so obviously I threw $300 down on the in-club blackjack. Bad decision, as I think I only won one hand before I was out all $300.


Fredrick and I got a text from Armaan telling us he was at Chandelier, so we went to join him, his Vegas wife, and her friend. We all talked for a while over drinks before we parted ways. Well, sort-of. This is where I'm going to boast and say I made-up for my drunken bet with white K*****a. As we were exiting,


--Redacted--


We walked to valet, and Fredrick took a cab back to his hotel.


I went to the ATM and pulled out a grand, but then thought better of it and went up to my room. I took the couch because I figured Armaan would come back with her. When he did, he was really grateful and even ordered a cot to our room for me (which totally wasn't needed, but respect). I quickly fell back asleep and that was that.


*** NO respek to you Svein. You would think I would have just come back to the room with said “wife” immediately following Chandelier bar, but no of course not, that would be too logical. Instead we decided to jump in her car and look for food options (since clearly the strip is lacking in that area) The idea that Spearmint Rhinos has wonderful chicken fingers was presented and I vehemently agreed this was a fantastic option. We quickly arrived at Rhino’s in only 40 minutes, to which I got blamed for even though said “wife” was providing me directions. After realizing upon entering the parking lot, that our good idea wasn’t really that good, we settled for McDonald’s. (I swear I never eat this much McDonald’s at home) Two egg McMuffins later, we head back to Cosmo, where I hope Svein is awake so I can strategize how he needs to be a ninja for the night. Thankfully his gambling addiction ensures he is wide awake and he cooperates diligently. Goodnight Svein, and God bless. ***

 

Saturday:


Once again, we woke up ridiculously late. I believe it was probably around 12 or 12:30 when I got out of bed, and we were scrambling. A few guys from the aforementioned bachelor party (including Ranjan), myself, and Armaan were set to get a couple bottles at EBC. We grabbed cabs ASAP and buzzed over to Encore. After speaking with the host, it seemed as if all the tables had been sold except for a couple very high-end minimums. I lost a quick $20 to the Hangover slot while Armaan was scheming with the host.


*** Lesson to be learned here. I had set up a nice day bed a week prior to arriving which was confirmed. Of course, by now on our trip, 2 days of debauchery has happened, unplanned drinks for women were bought, 8 extra lap dances were purchased, additional bottles were ordered under the YOLO God’s blessing, and those “planned” slot hand pays never transpired. So upon waking up that morning, the consensus was to not blow $3500 on the bed and to take it easy. This feeling lasted for an hour, after which it was decided we need to do it regardless. 5 minutes later, back to NO. Frustrated and embarrassed and getting hit up by my host, I didn’t want to respond and be flakey so I asked what other options there were. It is around 2:10 pm at this point. My host confirms he still has the table but wants to know quick what our decision is and when and if we are coming. I play texting checkers with the crew asking them, with Svein at my side. After likely 3-4 drinks, the YOLO deities finally show us the way when I get the following message from the smaller bachelor group:


“Yo f**k it, it’s Vegas man, let’s DO IT!”

So we scramble to pretend like we showered and head on down to the taxi line. I message my host finally to say it’s a confirmed YES on our side and to save the table. 2:20pm. 2:21pm he responds with “sold out”. We decide to go anyway to see if we can finesse something on the spot, of course no luck. Lesson to be learned here: Pay homage to the gods as a ritual, so they can bless you with guidance earlier in the day. ***


End of story, we all ended up splitting up. I believe the bachelor party guys went back to Marquee, while Armaan and I ventured to Boulevard Pool at the Cosmo. I was unaware of this pool's existence, as I'd only seen the Bamboo pool out the window. Boulevard was such a great spot. This will definitely be a morning/early afternoon ritual of mine from now on. Bottle service there is extremely reasonable too--about the same prices as the bar I work at. Great spot for a few guys to casually split a bottle, IMO. We snagged some eats at the restaurant at the pool ("Overlook"?) and had a drink before we headed back up to the room.


We just so happened to arrive at our room at the same time the mini-bar people did; these guys were the s**t. They were all somewhat younger dudes, and extremely friendly. We talked with them about Cosmo, nightlife, girls, EDC, and crazy stories they had for about 30 mins before they continued on their way. In one such story (I'm sworn to secrecy, so no names!), the guy managed to help an A-list athlete distract his gf/fiancée/wife/whatever by telling her she needed to go to the front desk for a new key, because Mr. Athlete had another chick in the room! Once she headed down, he escorted the side chick out and he and his boys helped clean up and re-stock really quickly. SO funny.


Ranjan had been texting Armaan about one of the girls at Marquee that he'd talked to the day before, and Armaan was literally feeding Ranjan lines to say to her. Eventually, Armaan wen down to join. I, still shell-shocked from being overwhelmed with the Indians at Marquee just one day previous, decided to take a powernap instead. Honestly, I think it was the right move.


*** Quick story here. As if I were playing PS4, my phone the controller, Ranjan the video game character, and my input controlling Ranjan’s actions, he got the girl I fancied to wait for me as I making my way into Marquee. Needless to say, she was extremely thirsty and it was going to be a good way to end the afternoon. In the span 12 minutes, from my flawless Street Fighter combo input, to me entering Marquee Day Club and about to feast on a new prize, something changed drastically. Women talk. That illegitimate relationship [with her older sister] was exposed, and my chances were done. Game over before I even started. ***


XS was that night, and Fredrick joined us. We trolled around for a bit, and Armaan was ready for me to get in on the action. He opened with these two girls sitting on the edge of the landscape, and Fredrick and I joined the conversation shortly. Armaan gave me a look and made his exit. Conversation was flowing nicely, and it actually seemed to be going rather well. When she asked what I did, her eyes lit up when I mentioned I was in pharma/oncology--I thought I'd hit a good nerve. "That's so amazing! That's almost exactly what my fiancee does!"


What.


I forgot to do the ring check?!


Nice girl, but I closed the conversation shortly after that and Fredrick followed suit. The girl he was talking to was also engaged. Worse yet, their fiancees were standing immediately to our left. Armaan was devastated when we told him the news.


We walked around a bit more, and Armaan found this insanely attractive Mexican chick that was immediately into him. I basically didn't see him for the rest of the night, as they left the club after a little while. Fredrick and I walked around, talked to a few people, including these two Asian girls. The one was extremely friendly and talkative, but the other was a borderline mute. I think I heard her say one thing the whole 15 mins we were with them.


*** Words of wisdom. You honestly don’t need an opening line to talk to attractive women, just put yourself out there and believe in the FSR. Case in point:

Me: (see attractive girl, immediately increase gait speed to approach her. Realize I have nothing to say and barely notice her phone in her hand, when it’s too late I am beside her and I must utter something)


Me: “Thasaphandy!” (two sentences fused into one, and said 3x the normal speed of conversation which sounded more like a 4 syllable phrase of what my mind was really trying to say of “That’s a nice phone, your case is so handy!” – so brilliant still, I know)


Her: “What?”

Me: “You know right?”

Her: (giggles) “Ya I know!” (more giggles, and arm touching) ***


I pulled a "four second rule" (FSR) on myself as I walked by the hot tub. There were probably 7-8 girls marinating their feet in the water, and I saw one I wanted to talk to. Now, this is the thing with the four second rule--you can't think, just do. These are wise words from Armaan. I followed his advice. As I walked up to the hot tub, I immediately realized that in order to talk to this girl, I'm going to also have to sit on the edge, getting my feet in the water.


Can't turn back. Won’t turn back.


I ask her if she minds if I join her and she smiled and said no. This may be the first time a man has sat at that hot tub and soaked his feet, but whatever. We talked for a bit, but she and her friend were clearly not the party type, so nothing escalated. I probably hung out there a solid 10-15 mins, and then wished them a good night and went to find Fredrick.


Fredrick and I ended up standing by the water watching Dillon Francis absolutely kill it in the DJ booth. I love his stuff, so the music and the light show made me so happy. A group of guys leaving a table hand us a couple of unopened Stellas, giving us an added morale boost. After a bit, we decided it was time to go, and went our separate ways.


When I arrived back at Cosmo, I wasn't sure if Armaan had taken this girl to our room or if she'd taken him to hers, so I played it safe and stayed in the casino. THIS is where the trip got ugly. The next day I remember telling Armaan I hadn't pulled any money out of the ATM, so I couldn't have lost that much--but I wasn't accounting for the $1000 I'd pulled out the night before! Why I didn't have this in the safe and was walking around XS with that much money, I'll never know. I honestly think I just forgot how much was in my money clip. Gambling was not good. I actually don't have recollection of much, but apparently I was sending out Snapchats of me at a Wheel of Fortune machine. I also remember a sketchy guy trying to "advise" me on how to gamble some double bonus poker game. He said he installed the machines so he couldn't play himself. Idiot. I left him in the dust, and he wasn't thrilled about it. I remember reading something about this con on VMB or another forum, but it didn't cross my mind until afterwards. Luckily the guy was shady as hell, so all kinds of red flags were going off. When it was all said and done, I think I lost $800-900 on whatever I played that night, because I think I was under $100 when I woke up.


I get back to the room at like 5am and see some unfamiliar, feminine feet hanging off the end of the bed. Looks like I made the right call.


*** LOL dude, what do you mean, I decided to get a pedicure after I left ***

 

Sunday:


I wake up late to some very uh, explicit sounds. That went on for a bit before she made her exit. I wanted to Snapchat this so bad, but I refrained when I realized I should probably have Armaan's permission before pulling something like that. He apologized a bunch after she left, but it really didn't bother me.

*** Svein you are a great actor. As I was leaving the room with her to give the gentlemen farewell that is customary, my primary concern was if I had disturbed your sleep. I saw you sleeping in the bed in a very contorted position. Head leaned back, one leg off the bed, arm flailed over your nose, blanket half tucked into you’re a**. I thought okay this dude is out cold, there is no way he heard or saw anything. F U Svein, and your sonic hearing. ***


We grabbed some Chipotle and talked about plans for the day. It was clearly too late to go to any sort of pool party without paying way too much, so we decided to hit Boulevard again. The scene was chill once again (as I assume it always is), and I found out on Twitter that there was some sort of concert being held there. After a brief discussion, we decided to pull the trigger. $56 per person--not bad for a 6 performance lineup at a sick, open venue.


Armaan went back to the room, but I was determined to win a little money back gambling, so I hit the roulette table and won back about $200 due to a timely hit on single-0.


Ranjan was in our room when I got back, passed out on the couch. His flight left that night, so we said he could hang in our room till he had to leave. He, Armaan, and myself debriefed and had some absolutely fire conversations. We were having such a good time that we intentionally didn't leave the room until about 7:40 even though the concert started at 7. We missed Fifth Harmony, but were still in time for Lukas Graham, Alessia Cara, Mike Posner, Iggy Izalea, and Kygo. I had such an amazing time here, and drunken Svein even heckled Mike Posner and Iggy Iz for a few seconds. I met a girl from San Francisco who I was really digging, but she actually left early and was going to try to re-enter since she only wanted to see Kygo.


*** Svein’s epic line drop of this amazing concert, right before Mike Posner’s final song.

Svein: “MIKE!!, MIKE!!, TELL US WHAT YOU TOOK IN IBIZA!!!”


I literally died laughing for minutes after hearing this yelp. ***


At the end of the show, half-joking, I asked Armaan if I should try to get the three girls standing in front of us up to our room.


"Yeah definitely, 100%."


*** 100% ***


So I started talking to them and asked if they wanted drinks in our room which was right there, etc, etc. To my surprise, they obliged. We hop in the elevator and hit floor 69, and one of them thought that was hilarious.


As we're in the room, I start mixing up some of my favorite cocktails. Armaan goes into the bedroom or bathroom and I hear one of the girls say to the other something about "rape", and I was obviously a little offended. She could tell when I shot her a look, and said "Oh my God, I didn't realize you were standing right there,"


GREATTTTT!


They left. I was really only into the one, Laura, but since they were all friends I wasn't about to try to convince her from leaving. After the "rape" drop, I think everyone was uncomfortable anyways, especially myself.


I laid on my cot for a while texting/snapping, and see Armaan facing the terrace also laying on his stomach texting, propping himself up with his elbows. I only give you this detail because I want you to envision it. Armaan isn't huge into his phone all the time, so I found this peculiar. I figured he was texting Mexican K****a from Intrigue Thursday night, but he was motionless for so long.


"Armaan!" No response.


I walk over to the bed, and the dude is still propped up on his elbows, but he is motionless, asleep. His phone had dropped out of his hands and was on the floor. I woke him up.


"Dude we gotta do something; it's our last night here."


"10 more minutes man." And with that, Armaan's night was over.


I debated doing more gambling or hitting a low-key club somewhere, but eventually decided that losing money sounded like a horrible idea. I passed out. I packed up in the morning, and that was it. The encore was over.


*** 5:24 am: (wake up confused, realized what happened) “F**k Svein!, F**k!” ***

 

Final Thoughts:


AMAZING, EPIC, LIFECHANGING.


No, but in all seriousness, it was such a great trip. I looked back at my trip KPIs and realized I'd hit basically none of them, which made me realize how stupid it is to set such goals in the first place.


New rules for future trips:


- Have fun

- Let loose

- Never neglect the 4 second rule/Don't be shy

- Obtain Snapchat permission from all roommates prior to trip

- Be spontaneous. The concert was totally ad-hoc, and it turned out to be so sick

- Don't base success around girls or money. I lost in both categories this trip, but still had a trip to remember.


Hope you all enjoyed the report. Viva Las Vegas!


*** Final Thoughts:


This was such an epic trip for so many reasons. I usually don’t make too many goals for Vegas trips, and just hope I can leave with some beautiful memories in the bank. This was no exception.


First of all, Svein, much love brother from my side on being my roommate and dealing with my s**t for five nights. I am glad you have a post-club gambling addiction problem which fits nicely into my uncertainties at night. You are honestly one of the funniest, humble and relaxed guys I have ever done a trip with. Your energy is on point, and your stubbornness (re: K*****a) is f**king downright hilarious. Thank you for also being my Snapchat superstar for the weekend, your battle with the moth that snuck into our room gained me a lot of likes. Looking forward to scheming and doing this as the new ritual. I hope you truly had a great time and my initial worries, didn’t come to fruition. Keep rocking ChosenOne, you are officially apart of the Circle of Trust.


Secondly, what I love about Vegas, no matter how many visits, (this was my seventeenth) is there is always something new, as long as you choose to be spontaneous. The concert on Sunday was one of my favorite experiences in Vegas, it was just all around pure euphoria. We didn’t have much to write about it, but I would highly recommend any concert at the Boulevard Pool over many other alternative night choices. You need to experience it to understand it.


Finally, after finishing this addition to Svein’s legendary TR, I can honestly say it was a lot more fun (and a lot less stressful) than I had initially thought. I making a new Vegas vow, that I will continue this tradition with Svein (as long as he still bequeaths me the honor) and hopefully do one in parallel to his in tandem. Hope you guys laughed along with us. Until the next one.


P.S. Going back end of August.

“Svein……you coming?”

 

Man! You guys absolutely killed it! I'm leaving on my brother bachelor party on Thursday and I can't wait!

 

Go nuts, my man! Leave it all on the Strip!

 

Now that was an Epic Trip Report.

 

Haha thank you Mike!

I find it somewhat therapeutic going through my note and memories and compiling them. It's a good way to decompress, as well as a fun way to look back and remember some of the finer details I may have otherwise forgotten.