When I rule golf, I'm nuking ...

Hey, gang. I'm starting to pull together a piece on golf rules that we'd like to see changed. It should run to 10. I think we all have our pet peeves, be it OB or lost balls, having to hit out of divot holes, whatever. I'd love to hear what you think needs to go. Unlike the Lama, however, I don't think I can promise you even total consciousness. Thanks.

 

Two stroke penalty for grounding your club in ANY hazard - that makes sense in a sand trap, but if you dip your club in a creek to clean it before hitting a ball that is just touching the water, it is a two stroke penalty......C'mon!

 

Hmm, interesting question.

OB/lost ball with a provisional is a good one. In non tourney play a lot of casual golfers don't follow it anyway. And at the pro level you get weird things like Phil Mickelson miffed at a fan for finding a ball he wanted to abandon for lost because playing the provisional would be better. I realize they want it to be punitive, but both tracking down provisionals and going back to the tee on a lost ball are bad for pace of play if nothing else.

The Tiger Woods boulder rule. Move it yourself or you can't move it.

I don't know exactly how to rewrite it, but they need to do something about oscillating ball issues in windy conditions too. Seems to come up every year or two at some tourney.

I also don't think we really need an anchored putting ban.

That's all I've got off the top of my head.

 

they already changed the TW boulder rule.

they also already changed the rule about a ball moving by wind even after you've grounded your club.

 

Last I checked, the USGA still said you could get assistance in moving a large loose impediment.

You may be right on the oscillating ball one though

 

The USGA would have a shit fit if they saw my old foursome play. Everyone would have 130 on their card with all of the penalty strokes added in. Unless you're in a tournament or playing for really big money, I say have fun.

One thing that just pisses me off to the max is when you hand out a gimme and the asshole insists on putting it anyway. He then misses, picks up his ball, and says well, it was a gimme.

I know you guys are talking about something totally different, but I just had to bitch.

 

I'd make the ball chase me if I had any say in the rules.

Helpful? No. Sue me.

 

That's the vast majority of golf play, I'd say. I don't give a fuck what anyone says they scored as long as it's not taking money out of my pocket. (And don't go swingin' your little thing in the 19th hole going on about what a great player you are, either.) Hit the ball. Have fun. Make sure to smile and laugh. Most importantly, be the person in that group that anyone and everyone would want to tee it up with next time. If there are stakes at play, play by all the rules.

 

Slow play! If I catch up to you I get to use a cattle prod on your butt.

For the pros they need to stop the one person causing it, not the group. And the consequences perhaps need to be faster and more direr.

 

lol

Slow play is to my way of thinking the #1 bane of the game. But if I'm not the cause of the delay I will prod you right back.

The USGA has some rather exacting research on the why and how of slow play at our level, and a good bit of that is due to the golf cart and design quirks. I think all of us know who our slower-playing friends are, and they are that way mostly because they just aren't prepared. It seems as if on every shot they have to start the sequence all over from scratch. And then there are the practice-swinging dawdlers and the freeze-over-the-ball miscreants. I'll tell you what, if everyone hit the ball as quickly as VegasBJ -- he is the only person I've ever met who makes my nanosecond pre-shot routine look slow -- life would be good.

As for the tour, every player and every tour official knows exactly who the culprits are. But I don't necessarily care how long a tour round takes, per se, however; I ain't playing it. Where it impacts us is the boneheads who try to emulate what they see.

 

Distance penalty for OB.... make it like a water hazard with the stroke penalty.

That is how I play it, mostly because we would never finish a round and would piss EVERYONE off behind us!

Ken if I am correct with the USGA there are no rule changes for Pro Vs Amateur. Maybe it'd be too tedious by why not a difference? (DUCKS)

 

There are some minor things the tour(s) invoke but in the big picture, yes, what the R&A/USGA say is supposed to apply regardless the venue. There has been a lot of talk about "bifurcating" the rules particularly with the technology revolution the past 10 years -- remember Palmer getting out ahead of the non-conforming driver thing and the anchoring ban for a few -- but there's always pushback at the section/club level and I'd say most recreational players, who while violating the rules with (often unknowing) abandon think it somehow cool we have one system.

 

Well that is exactly the problem. I think people think it's okay to play like that.

I think most people really need to be using the front tees. That is a big reason it's so slow. The guys I play with still want to play the back tees because even in their 40's and 50's they think that's what they should be playing. In reality these guys should have been using the front tees in their 20's too, myself included.

 

Well said Ken, I never concern myself when I see other guys cheating on their card. I don't play for $$ ever, I play myself and enjoy the company of the group. I play a lot of solo rounds too which I absolutely love to do.

 

I Golf solo and I always playing closer than most. One couple actually said "why not play from the blacks? You're paying for it"

I did not know this mentality exists?

 

Oh that mentally exists, big time. Vegas is notorious for it. That's a refreshing thing about places like Bandon and Pebble; they strive very hard to get people going off the appropriate tees. While most average amateurs scores don't change that much when going up/back one, it does impact pace of play. And the biggest culprit remains tour emulation and simply not being ready. The guy who stands over every shot for 20+ seconds. Toss in three to six of those a hole, over 18 holes, get a couple other idiots doing the same in that group, multiply that across groups -- what a mess. Add in the mope on the wrong side of the green not ready to putt ... the guy who hasn't hit a green in six years waiting on a par 5 or debating for a minute as to whether it is 168 or 162 ... the guy taking a month to replace covers on his fucking irons ... the plumb-bobber ... the joke-teller who can't multitask ... on and on and on.

 

This is a huge issue at some courses I play at and always has been. It's an ego thing for so many guys, they think playing forward tees is considered wimping out. I have played with several guys who insist on playing like that only to watch them struggle all round for a 100+ score. I've never understood why you would want to make this game any tougher than it is already when you struggle to break 100. A few courses here strongly encourage playing the appropriate tees, and those courses have the best pace of play by far. My thoughts are if you can't break 90 on a regular basis you have no business playing the back tees nor should you want to. A round with no or very few GIR doesn't interest me.

 

Oh man totally get that.. I have given spending a lot of time to find lost balls... I look for maybe a few minutes, if I do not find it I drop where I think it was on move on. I buy all my balls used from golfballnut.com. They are cheap and I frankly don't have the time to waste driving around.

If I happen upon my ball, I pick it up. I'd like to play in leagues but there are a lot of work around things I do like that, that would not fly...that and with 1 kids and another on the way...who has the time!

 

My adage on "finding" a ball that goes yard: That's why the sell them by the dozen.

A usual group for us is two 14s, a lying-sack-of-shit "23" who plays like a 16 and a true high-capper. George and I walk, the other guys ride. I think our last round at the club was 3:30 and we were far from rushing ourselves. Chris and I can shag nine at La Purisima in 90 minutes, and LP is a freakin' rambling, hilly mutha.

I'm playing in a pro-am in a few weeks. I was told by the organizers there is no walking and I can't hire or bring a caddie. "Pace of play" was the rationalization. Bullshit. First thing, most of the fun of playing a pro-am is walking 18 holes with a pro, and hopefully you didn't draw one of the self-centered assholes who ignore you. Anyway, that's still what it's about. Now we're stuck in buggies with path-only?!? Ridiculous. Five-plus is my call. (PGA West Stadium Course, maybe six. lol)

 

A pro-am is something I'd love to do.. though suck too much to ever do.

I always wish they would run a contest with even some middle of the road PGA pro... Have golfer X play a round with you at your home course. I'd love to see one of the guys at a forest preserve course or park district track to see em play.

I always wondered other than the length how they'd play with less then perfect greens and other stuff at the pot hole crusted muni's we play at! (ken if you pitch this and it takes off, I wanna piece of the pie!) :evillaugh