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"Call Me Mr. Hopadapolis." Our (Un?)Lucky 13th Vegas Trip!!!

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by tringlomane, Sep 7, 2015.

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  1. tringlomane

    tringlomane STP Addicted Beer Snob

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2013
    Messages:
    31,307
    Location:
    Chicagoland
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    28

    My Trip Report

    NOTE: This report will be in two parts, with the 2nd part being likely posted tomorrow night

    Day 1 Wed. Aug. 26th: Hertz Hurts! MGM Rolls out the Red Carpet for Her, Not Me.

    Thanks to some nice deals on rooms and flights, we ran back to Vegas this summer for the third time this year! This is my 13th trip and the 11th trip for my g/f (I'll call her M; not to be confused with PayTriple's M). So with these numbers involved, will we be lucky or not? Get ready for tons of beer, tons of VP porn, and tons of the Vegas sights!

    First sign of bad luck, next to a woman with heavy perfume on the plane. But I knew we would be okay because Frontier was trying to sell the flight for $39 the day before (we paid $59 bah). So we were able to easily move to the 7th row with an empty seat for us. Flight was pretty uneventful otherwise.

    Note, in my writing of VP returns, all percentages include the “gimmick bets”

    Sam Boyd Stadium
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    Touchdown!
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    We go to the rental car center to pick up our car. We got it on Priceline for $120 for 6 days. They gave us Hertz, which I always thought was a good company, but I think I was wrong. First you have to go through a video call to finalize your reservation. I assume they do this so they can drive a harder sell. She tried to upgrade us to an Infiniti when we rented an economy car. As our punishment for refusing, she gave us the car that our economy bookings always threaten us with, but we have never received. The horrible Chevy Spark.

    This is a garbage car. Never rent it. It had 29k miles and acted like it needed a tune up direly. It was supposed to get 34 mpg combined. We got 25 mpg and had to fill up it's crappy 8 gallon tank completely. Also terrible triangle shaped mirrors.

    I hope to never ride in you again.
    [​IMG]

    We decided to self park at MGM. Yeah, don't do that at MGM. 10 minutes later, we get to the front desk as I keep looking at my watch as I'm scheming to catch the WAX to play in Suncoast's 4/8 dealer's choice game.

    We were booked in a West Wing King via myVegas. I made a request for a complimentary upgrade with the intent of giving a $20 if I got a Grand King or better. She says, "Let me get a manager." Shit. Time is ticking away for me to catch the WAX. She comes back and says "nothing is available". I should have asked for an upgrade for purchase I guess (the grand king was only $10 more a night on the website).

    At this point I ask if I needed to be there for the rest of the process. I needed to catch that bus if I wanted to play. So I run to the bus. I see it leave 500 feet away while leaving the stop 5 minutes early. I text M saying I missed the bus and was coming back. Well that unintentionally helped us because the front desk lady then felt bad for her. Gave her a pair of buffets for tonight and tomorrow!?!?!

    This was our room. Okay enough, but I would have paid $10/nt extra for Grand King.
    [​IMG]

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    We never got around to question the front desk about this. Looked like a spot for a peephole/webcam.
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    She didn't get one of these on our door. :(
    [​IMG]

    Once we checked in, we ran to the pool before it closed. It was alright, but our favorite part, the lazy river, was also closed. They closed it up a bit early, but considering the drunk guy passed out on the lawn chair it might have been a good idea. They had to get security and threaten an ambulance before he would actually bother to get up. Spoiler: I don't get THAT shitfaced this trip.

    Then hit the MGM buffet. Decent for free, but no way we pay more than about $10/ea for it.

    [​IMG]

    Now I wanted to run by Luxor for a bit because it probably was my only shot to play there this trip. First we stop by Tropicana for a bathroom break and bartop check. Place looked nicer than I remembered.

    Pics on the way to Trop
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    Also found a "full pay" quarter game that I had to take a stab at, single line 8/5 DDB with Ultimate 4 of a kind bonus (99.38%). But no quads means $20 goes poof. M hits a bit on Gremlins slots.

    Walk on the way to Luxor.
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    Get to Luxor and belly up to the Aurora bar for the opening beer for the trip, one of my faves, Lagunitas IPA. This trip I tried to use the Untappd app to keep track and take pics of the beers I drank. At Luxor, I forgot to take pics. :( Lagunitas was from a sub par tap (6.2%, 3.5 sips). Hit nothing at Aurora on the 8/5 DDB prog (96.79%+prog), so I move to Playbar for a Sierra Nevada bottle (5.6%, 4 sips). Lose a bit more.

    Finally move over to the 9/5 JoB prog. (98.45%+prog) Hit my first quad of the trip. Wrong game though! :(

    [​IMG]

    Now head back to MGM near even and hunker down for the night.

    I was able to grab a seat at Whiskey Down and grab a Dogfish Head 60 Min. IPA (6%, 4 sips).

    [​IMG]

    Then I run back to M and she is hot on Double STP, if I knew these hits were coming, I would have told her to play DDB instead of 6/5 Bonus (97.36%; 96.92% 6-coin)!

    Opens with a 5X quad!
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    [​IMG]

    7s again!
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    I was doing the exact opposite at 7/5 Bonus Quick Quads (98.29%) right next to her. Best that I could do.

    Where was the 4 dammit???
    [​IMG]

    Day 2 Thurs. Aug. 27th: Gold Coast is Golden, Cursed Cosmo Pool, and Fremont Frenzy!

    That was a lot of alliteration there. Anyway, my ass can't sleep, and I'm up posting on VMB at 7:45am. Dammit, maybe I could have done semi-live after all! M didn't get up until 2 hours later and we rushed off to redeem three other myVegas rewards. Aria lunch buffet for 2, and $25 FP at MGM for each of us.

    Some pics on the way to the Aria:

    View of room
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    Things on the way to the bad parking garage.
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    Las Vegas Arena progress
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    To redeem the Aria buffet (which we planned to eat tomorrow) we park at MC garage so we can eat the delicious "Original Chicken Tender"! Unfortunately I was starving. See Flusher's report for that food porn!

    I get a message from jasonargo saying he'll be at the Gold Coast for the 40X point multiplier that afternoon. We let him know we'll be there by 1pm. We make it a bit early and I get a hold of him on the phone after blowing about $20 at 9/6 DDB w/STP (99.26%). He says he is by the south bar.

    Well my dumbass doesn't process South well indoors apparently because I walk the floor a few times before actually finding him! D'Oh! Once I found him though we had a real nice chat, and eventually wondered over near the red zone bar to meet M. While we were chattering away about VP stuff, she was able to hit this from one card to help her cause.

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately time was ticking away, so we said our goodbyes for now, and I started on racking up the rest of my points.

    I continue on a downward slide. 9/6 JoB (99.54%), Not So Ugly Ducks (99.73%), nada. Down $50 with less than $200 coin in. Crap. I decide to go back to STP, and I'm glad I did.

    [​IMG]

    After that, M and I try the full pay games nearby for a bit. Nothing pic worthy, but full houses and flushes abound on 9/6 Jacks continuing the upswing.

    I'm a bit thirsty now and take her to the red zone bar for a couple of beers. I get a New Belgium Fat Tire (5.3%, 3.75 sips) and she gets a Rogue Dead Guy (6.5%; 3.75 sips cold; 1.5 sips warm). I don't recall that much variance with Dead Guy, but I noticed it when she wanted me to take over her beer. Again no beer pics because I suck with that app.

    M got this to keep her rolling...7s again!
    [​IMG]

    I on the other hand kept hitting boats and flushes to grind up points and keep winning. Eventually I stop and find M at a nearby bank. I finish up my 400 pts there on 9/6 JoB or so I thought. That unit paid 239 for the SF (99.52%). Odd for quarters.

    Complete my $400 coin in up $50, so now I try to help M out. That's when the doom switch turned on again. Lost about $35 of that in maybe a little over $100 coin in. D'Oh.

    Now it's almost 3:30 and we wanted to head over to Cosmo to spend some time at the pool. On Mon.-Thurs. Identity members are allowed to use the pool, so we did.

    We also learned we love this garage. Red/green lights to signify available parking spaces as well as compact parking spaces near the front. Those were very useful with the shitty Spark!

    Before hitting the pool, I attempt to try a Verbena because i read a report that it was compable before 6pm. Bartender denied this. Never mind, not paying $16. Hit the pool, love it, and I typically care less about pools! Spend almost 2 hours there, a record for me!

    Some pics
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    Bye bye Harmon tower
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    So now it's getting late and we want to eat our other MGM buffet and hit up Fremont Street.

    So I go into a bathroom stall to change, and clumsily drop my Mizzou logo watch about 4 feet that I got Christmas 2008 and it lands face down on the tile! Fuck me!!! I turn it over and see the second hand moving and the face isn't cracked or scratched. I breathe a sigh of relief.

    Get back to MGM and eat. Last night was better. Worth "free" but that's it. Now M wants to quickly hit the North Outlet Mall before it closed. We do and I start clock watching as it was approaching 9pm. As this point I decided to actually use my watch instead of my phone. As I twist my wrist quickly to read the watch. I see the minute hand move 5 minutes. Try it again. Same thing. SHIT! It did break. :(

    Now I'm in a shit mood. M is trying to calm me down and says we'll fix or replace it, but I feel like a dipshit for dropping it to start. Was tempted to skip out on Fremont altogether, but realized she hates that place too, so this is really my only shot at it.

    Finally get to MSS about 9:15 and jasonargo was at Boar's Head. We had another good chat and his happy go lucky attitude cheered me up. Eventually got on the seat next to him, but neither of us could pull off a scratcher. :( Also had a couple of Marker Pale Ales (5.6%; 4 sips).

    Eventually move on to the Cal to try my luck at 8/5 Treasure Chest (99.56%). No chests but up 10 bucks in 10 minutes. Try the "Big Bang Theory" there too. Sucked away $5 in near record time.

    Move on to Binion's for a pic of the million. Then I run off to Golden Nugget and Four Queens. Bartenders seemed anal about service at GN and I only found 6/5 Bonus (96.87%) there so I moved on top 4Q, but not before I took a pic of the pool area to show M.

    [​IMG]

    Move to 4Q hoping for Chicago Brew Co. IPA, but had to settle for the amber ale (4.5%; 3.5 sips)
    [​IMG]

    Hop over to the D. See Derek Stevens at the Long Bar chatting a bit. I should have complained about him getting rid of all the coindroppers upstairs, including the cranky 17/10 Loose Doose (101.6%), RIP old friend.

    See a Lagunitas tap at long bar. My poor vision thinks it's the IPA, but I was mistaken. It was their Pilsner (6%; 3.5 sips).

    [​IMG]

    Head upstairs and see that M is already at Sigma Derby.

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    I watch her play a bit and then move over to Vue Bar for 8/5 Bonus (99.17%+prog.). Get a Budweiser (5%; 3.25 sips) Yeah, hit nothing. Lose about 15 at D.

    M is running out of steam, but I quickly drag her to Fremont for the Filament bar followed by full pay pickem. The bar is nice but mostly shit games (except 97.69% Double Bonus Deuces) and craft beers NOT compable (I got another Bud), they can go screw themselves. 99.95% Pickem was unkind. Lose another $20 altogether.

    Get back to MGM. My hopes are for another Dogfish Head. That didn't happen. Bar was packed. And by the time a seat opened up, Whiskey Down was closed at 1:30! 1:30?!?!?! WTF!!!

    So I get more Sierra Nevada's at the Lobby Bar. Get chatted up by this shitfaced chick named Amy. I'm worried she'll keel over at any point. Eventually her more sober SO came by wearing a Astros shirt, so we chatted about baseball for a bit. But I really needed to get back to M with her water. Well apparently a waitress did show up for once while i was gone.

    We play through our free play to little avail. This is the best either of us could do.

    [​IMG]

    Day 3 Fri. Aug. 28th: Better than BeeeJay Memorial Row! Nathan Burton..meh Getting Crafty at M Resort and TAG. A “Wacky” Streak Comes to an End!

    I wake up early again. Arghhhhhh. We get going a bit early as I was informed the MGM Sigma Derby was alive and well. We shared an elevator with someone that reeked of weed. Our floor was non-smoking, bro...

    Get down to the Sigma Derby, but alas, didn't win a damn thing. I dunno which pick we had here but it didn't win...lol
    [​IMG]

    Go to check out. Was a mess, so we decide to check out express. Relatively painless.

    Make a quick detour to Excalibur for some “Fun Dungeon Play”. The main thought was to see if “Crazy Taxi” was there. It was, but the chair and the gas didn't work so hot.
    [​IMG]

    Also saw this... and since it had M's hometown team, the Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks, I suggested she played me. She beat me 3-2 in overtime...whoops.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Now run off to Aria for the buffet via myVegas. Once again, good. Our waitress not so much. On our Coke refill, we asked for 4 instead of 2 to save her another trip. Much better than what we dealt with later though. Again fail on the food porn, but I did take a view of the pool from the buffet.
    [​IMG]

    Now bolt directly to Beeejay Memorial Row 802, see one of the 8/6 Boner Deluxe's w/DSTP (98.99%) open and shove in a $20. Nothing special, but it lasted about $50 coin in before disappearing. M, who is much smarter than me, found a better machine. A gigantic All Star II poker unit, between the back of the poker room and the Monte Carlo monorail entrance. She played her crack of choice 9/5 DDB w/DSTP (98.37%) for nickels?!?!?!

    Nice 11X multiplier.
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    M's first spin on this slot; she hits the mini jackpot!!
    [​IMG]

    And could it be...YES!!! 8/6 Boner Deluxe w/DSTP (98.99%) for nickels!!! The highest return game I have ever played for nickels on the Strip!

    Why couldn't this come on quarters though! :(
    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately we were running a bit short on time and wanted to check into our room at the Linq. We try to hint at we would take a king, but no dice. We tell her our must needs, quiet, non-smoking, no adjoining door. Do we get all those? Nah. Immediately go back downstairs, receive a room 7 rooms further down with no adjoining door. Then M comments that the room smells like old man... argh. I didn't want to move again, so we find a housekeeper, she sprays more deodorizing spray and I give her a buck. Now it's about 3, and we had a Groupon ($7 each) for Nathan Burton to use. So we figured this was the best chance for us to use it.

    Get there about 3:45, and see that there is a huge line already for General Admission. We got a decent seat. Show was okay, but he did too many disappearing tricks. His wife Amie, an assistant, is pretty hot. Likely his greatest magic trick...:evillaugh

    Show was a full 90 minutes, and at the time, I was scheming to do some other things. Possibly meet up with Stevie D, and possibly play 6/12 mix poker at Wynn. Unfortunately, Stevie's friends were terribly late, and as for that mix game, I really didn't want to play at Wynn, and for those stakes after my relative ass beating so far. So plans turned to South Outlet Mall, Dinner, and M Resort.

    M finds a Vera Bradley bag she likes and she eats Chipotle, while I get Smashburger in this usual spot with the incredibly affordable Joseph James Hop Box Double IPA ($3.50; 4.25 sips; 9%). It was all delightful.

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    Dusk from the Smashburger parking lot
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    Head on out to M Resort and I have a hell of a time at the 32 degree bar. Plenty of great beer, and somehow double my money from $20 to $40!

    Beers consumed (12 oz each):

    Brooklyn East IPA (6.9%; 3.5 sips)
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    Ninkasi Vanilla Oatis Stout (7%; 4 sips)
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    Moa Imperial Stout (10.2%; 4.25 sips)
    [​IMG]

    Ballast Point Grunion Pale Ale (5.5%; 3.5 sips)
    [​IMG]

    And this is the biggest hand I hit on 98.91% Deuces for the $20 win:
    [​IMG]

    While playing, the guy next to me has the wife take over. She hits a quad. Well, apparently any quad there gives you a drawing entry. But she didn't notify the bartender. Afterward, he had a slot tech bother to verify the quad. So if you ever do anything crazy like toss a quad, call a slot attendant! You might get paid!!!

    Get back to Linq, and we hit the pool for their late night swim (Fri./Sat. from 8p-12a), pretty cool experience, and their soaking tub was decently warm. Meet some cool people while checking it out; we actually stayed til closing!
    [​IMG]

    Now I finally get to enjoy the nectar that is TAG Lounge.

    My opener: Firestone Walker Pale 31 (4.9%; 4 sips)
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    Hop on or Die IPA (6.8%; 3.25 sips) Bottle was better than beer.
    [​IMG]

    Dale's Pale Ale (6.5%; 4 sips) Balanced Pale Ale/IPA
    [​IMG]

    And to wrap up at TAG...Green Flash Hop Head Red (8.1%; 4 sips)
    [​IMG]

    In the background of this pic is my bartender for most of the trip, Stan. If you see him, try to get him to take care of you. Nice guy and does things efficiently. If he's not around, Heather, a cute redhead in glasses, is also very good.

    My TAG highlight of the night...bah
    [​IMG]

    M moves over to the penny poker units for 7/5 DDB w/STP (95.98%) and hits this:
    [​IMG]

    and 4X 4s for $16 on her last bet!!
    [​IMG]

    Although I was nice and toasty at this point, I was quadless at TAG. So I join M at the penny 50/100 play STP on the floor. Paytables generally aren't good, however for 50/100 STP, many casinos offer a 5600 credit royal for deuces wild games only. Why? No real clue. But this makes deuces the best choice between those games at 97.00% for most of CET Vegas. I begin to play for my traditional flea bet of 36 cents. In the past, I have also played this “wacky” royal game at Ameristar St. Charles and Tunica Roadhouse with the intent of hitting that wacky $56 royal. Well...I yearn no longer.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Wacky $56 Royal hit!!! :D Wacky $56 Royal hit...:cry: That's how I felt. My nearly 3 year royalless streak was now over. But I am still waiting for my first ever nickel royal and higher. Very conflicted on feelings. The one thing it gave me though, the adrenaline to keep drinking/playing. M lets me off the hook for a “celebratory” beer (standard for any Royal I've hit). Go back to TAG, and my celebratory beer is a Lagunitas Little Sumpin' Sumpin' (7.5%; 4 sips).

    [​IMG]

    Unfortunately, I bleed away more at the bar. And this beer really sent me over the edge. Pretty shitfaced now. I do random things like check the live BJ table status, and the e-table BJ.

    10-card Charlies win!!! It's theoretically possible!!!
    [​IMG]

    At least they give you strategy for this crap 6 to 5 game:
    [​IMG]

    Stumble to bed way too late...

    I hit a Royal and possibly won for the day!! ;)

    Still down overall though...:cry:

    Will things turn even for the better? Stay Tuned for Part II...
     
  2. thecarve

    thecarve Misanthrope

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    Great start, Tring.

    Congrats... and sorry about the Royal. Good choice in celebratory beers, though! :beer:

    (You can expect a PM from me this fall requesting more precise locations of those good DSTP machines at Aria.:rolleyes2:)

    Look forward to the next installment.
     
  3. TriggerMN

    TriggerMN The Norwegian Hammer

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    I have been waiting for this TR! Can't wait for part 2!
     
  4. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Vegas Joker

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    Great trip report Mr. Hopadapolis! Looking forward to part 2!
     
  5. M_ILIS

    M_ILIS VIP Whale

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    Ditto! Glad to see one of you could enjoy the 'Hawks bubble hockey at the Fun Dungeon. As a Kings fan, that was a quick turnoff even though it's one of my favorite arcade games ever.
     
  6. Guy

    Guy Captain of the Heads

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    Fine reporting as always.
     
  7. tringlomane

    tringlomane STP Addicted Beer Snob

    Joined:
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    Haha. Yeah, the last beer reallllyyyy helped. Lagunitas makes some really good stuff, imo.

    The giant unit might not be your speed anyway. Max denom is 25c on DSTP there, so unless you want to play 10-play on it, you might be bored. :evillaugh And playing on the giant unit is a pain in the ass really. More novelty than anything. The same paytables (8/6 Boner Deluxe is best) are in "BeeeJay Memorial Row 802" and row 804 for 25c-$1 denom. Both are in front of the MLife desk.

    Yeah it was fun. :) I forgot to mention I scored on myself once...:eek:

    And thanks guys! This report will definitely cover most of the IPA base for Vegas VP bars. :evillaugh But I must admit, those stouts I had at M Resort were really good too, much better than I expected! And ended up drinking about 30 unique beers by the end! :confused2:
     
  8. Matty Ice

    Matty Ice High-Roller

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    4 deuces with a kicker on JOB and a Royal on a penny machine, a win is still a win right. :beer:

    Great TR! Look forward to reading about the rest of your trip. Love the beer pics and ratings. :peace:
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2015
  9. bshowell

    bshowell VIP Whale

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    Good read - looking forward to more!
     
  10. wanker751

    wanker751 Dutch Rudder Enthusiast

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    Great start to the trip! That royal is why I stay away from those games (though if you could have hit a multiplier), as I would more angry than happy about "wasting" a royal. (I know this is not how it works ,but that is how it would feel!)

    Sucks about the watch I hope you can fix it.

    Crazy Taxi is an awesome game, worked at an arcade (kiddie ******) and every time I hear "All I Want" I think of CT. (YA! YA! YA! YA! YA!) Also I want a Super Chexx for home, I planned to get one for my bar at home but then I got a kid so bah. Of course you had to know the Hawks would pull it out.... :poke:

    While I play faster than you, I must say you drink faster than I do! Something I should strive for! :drunk: :beer:

    I did not know that about Cosmo pool, that is actually pretty awesome.
     
  11. broncofn

    broncofn VIP Whale

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    Great start tring!
     
  12. Krh2o

    Krh2o MIA

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    Cool report. What do you mean by sips when describing a beer?
     
  13. Jejas

    Jejas VIP Whale

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    That's his rating of the craft beers. 5 sips is the best.
     
  14. Jejas

    Jejas VIP Whale

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    Nice report!
    I feel your pain of getting 4 dueces with kicker in JOB and Royal at 1 cent.
    Good luck on your next royal!
     
  15. B S

    B S MIA

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    Thanks, Tring! ROYAL!!
     
  16. pressitagain

    pressitagain VIP Whale

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    I've been waiting for the details of your trip.

    Hope there is plenty more action.

    Good stuff tringlomane!!!
     
  17. jpw711

    jpw711 Is that your cat?

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    You gave Bud 3.25 sips??????????????????????? You've clearly lived in StL to long! Enjoying the tr report. How long did the deoderizer keep the "old man smell" at bay for M?

    Still waiting for part two, can't wait to hear about Satuday.

    Gotta watch that little sumpin sumpin, it can sneak up on ya.
     
    No reason to go home yet.
  18. Stevie D

    Stevie D VIP Whale

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    Good report Tring. So wish we had met up. All my fault
     
  19. tringlomane

    tringlomane STP Addicted Beer Snob

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    Actually it worked for the weekend. She coughed a bit right after the spraying though. Lol

    Bud isn't terrible if you want to get drunk. Lol

    Should get the rest of it up soon, but at harrahs Joliet today. $56 royal basically poof. :(

    Best I could do. :(

    [​IMG]

    M's dad, the real gambler, hit a grand on dollar "Top Dollar". Up $700. So at least he did that I suppose.
     
  20. Johnzimbo

    Johnzimbo VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    2,858
    Location:
    DFW
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    100
    Nice part one! I hear Nathan Burton is an amazing prognosticator and says "part two will have more beers and more video poker"
     
    Annual me and Pete
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