Las Vegas Is Over For Me

My sister needs around $5,000 to pay back property taxes and unpaid utility bills or she is going to have the house put up for Sheriff's sale and she will be living in the street.

She can't even afford ACA and I shudder to think of what the future holds.

The only work she can find is $11 an hour retail.

The car that I bought her in 2004 is in dire need of replacement.

Her house is a shambles. She has no refrigerator or range except for the tiny refrigerator I bought he and the toaster oven (high end) that I bought her.

She has no washer and dryer. She has no money for the Laundromat so she washes everything in the bath tub.

I send her a $100 Gift Card to Giant every month for groceries.

Now she just texted that her glasses broke and she needs $400. I have put off buying my own glasses because I was saving that money for Vegas.

I even bought my leased Jeep so I wouldn't have to spend a few thousand on down payments. That money was to go toward Vegas.

I absolutely will not take her in to my house.

So, I can't afford to have money to stay in The Mirage and Golden Nugget and would be afraid to go over $10 tables. Can't afford shows. Can't really afford the high cost of Vegas alcohol. Tipping is at the point of absurdity.

So, I'm not going to go Las Vegas anymore and I won't be commenting in any other forum except this one, if you all will still have me.

I'm sorry for this gloominess, but I don't know what else to do and I cannot just throw her away.

 

do what you can for her for now and start saving for a trip.

there's food stamps she should qualify for and there should also be at least basic healthcare through the gubmint.
that's what the safety nets are for... don't want to get too political but has she sought those things out?

just my two zwlatys(Polish for cents)

 

life is hard for many, and your sister is lucky to have you looking out for her.

 

I agree!
Has your sister considered a room-mate to help with expenses?

She is lucky to have you looking out for her. I hope you'll be able to get to Vegas one day soon.

 

sorry breezy, but I feel your pain
just dropped $5000 on a new roof for my mom's house this weekend
and we burn $1500/month so my wife's physically fit mom can sit around all day in her apt feeling sorry for herself and drinking coffee

but based on the cockpunch that was my last trip this weekend?, yeah maybe not going isn't the worst thing that could happen

 

it's an awful situation, obviously, and most people will say she's lucky to have you and feel sorry for you.

not me.

it's clear you've been bailing her out for years.

so she's come to rely on that.

every time you continue,

you just reinforce that in her mind.

it's a tough decision for sure,

but you have to take care of your own life first.

she's an adult, she'll learn to handle her own life.

otherwise, you'll just be back here in this same situation indefinitely.

 

Sorry to hear this Breeze. You will always be welcome here.

I'm not sure about where you live but here I would have her start with somewhere like United Way (we have a 311 line to find out where to get help.) In addition to food stamps, has she thought about maybe visiting a food bank? The food bank my mom volunteers at honestly gets mostly working people and a lot of families. There are also sometimes services for things like low cost glasses or agencies that will help low income homeowners with house repairs. I hope that things turn around for both of you shortly.

Edited to add: I do think though that your sister is an adult, and she should be looking for help from somewhere other than you. You have the right to your own life too.

 

I was hoping I wasn't going to be the first one to reflect that thought. The OP has created a monster who will continue living and doing what she wants because she knows she will always have him there to bail her out. It's funny how people find a way to survive even with no one bailing them out. He mentioned she can only find work in retail for $11/hour, which tells me she isn't physically or mentally incapable. With that in mind, she has no excuses. Helping a loved one out of a one-time jam is very different than ongoing support. After a while, you don't have much standing to complain about her, because you're just enabling her. Tough love may not be fun, but she is impacting the quality of your life now and in the future. To me, that shows complete selfishness on her part and a lack of respect for you.
She should do what it takes to survive -- find a roommate, work 2 jobs, work extra shifts, sell plasma, etc.
Sorry if this isn't the feedback you hoped to get here, but it's reality.
Good luck turning things around, but unless you want to do this until you die, you gotta make a change now.

 

Maybe cheaper to get glasses online?

http://www.glassesusa.com/

 

Without knowing all the facts/entire situation.....how do any of us reasonably comment on this? Before you judge....... walk in them shoes. Good luck Breeze, hope you figure things out for both or you.

 

My husband and I go through something similar with his brother. I am so mixed because the issues he has are 100% his fault, but family means a lot to us and it is certainly a rock and hard place situation. We give him enough to live, but will never get to the point where he is "comfortable". Screw that. He also works all the government angles as well.

I get it Breeze, I really do.

 

Why put it on a message board of strangers to begin with if he didn't want some type of feedback (positive/negative)? He's a big boy and knew he risked possible judgement from other people not agreeing with his actions when he posted so the whole 'walk in them shoes' comment is a moot point. If you don't want someone making comments about your personal life, then don't put those details out there for anyone to comment on.

 

Ya know Breeze, there are some days I just want to give you a hug. Today is one of those days.

Whether you are helping her or enabling her is only for you to decide. Either way, she is lucky to have you for a brother. Be careful to look after yourself first though.

I'm glad you'll still be posting here. I'd miss you if you left.

 

I feel sorry for both you and her.

I am glad to hear you say...family first. Top notch in my books!!!

Hopefully things turn around for the both of you.

 

Like everybody else Breeze ,my heart goes out to you,believe me I'm going thru similar with my kids,it never seems to get easier sometimes, but you hope and pray that things will get better.

 

Thanks for all the good thoughts and ideas. I'll them run by her. A lot I have already mentioned to her.

I know that I enabled her to start with. That was supposed to be to get her on her feet, but she never quite got there.

Anyway, I'll just keep trying.

 

I would also encourage you to still take your trips - scaled back, frugal, cheap - whatever you have to do. You still need an escape.

 

If this were my sister, I'd encourage her to sell her home and rent. Owning a home is going to limit her access to government assistance programs

 

Sorry to hear this, Breeze. Of course you are always welcome here. I do hope the situation improves, for both your sake (and sanity!) and your sister's.

 

Sucks to hear Breeze.Would it make any sense to you or her to sell the house and her get an apt?
I hope you can manage at least a trip to AC and get lucky like someone who deserves it...I've been in a similar situation but luckily I have another sensible sis that knew when it was time to say no..I was stubborn about it with the 'blood is thicker than water' talk..We have not talked to the eldest sis in a couple years.(who blew our parents house as executor with repeated loans against).
We do know she got some help from Catholic Charities I belive it's called..
Best wishes Man.