One for the Thumb, Mirage Jan 8th- 10th

Dirk_Diggler · #1 01-26-2010, 06:21 PM

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Hello all, this is a report about my latest trip to Vegas, my 5th overall (hence one for the thumb) and is a bit legthy, so thanks in advance for sticking it out. This trip was over the weekend of the Jan. 8th, 9th and 10th. So just a little 36 hour trip, just happened to also be over Porn Convention weekend. I went with all my co-workers as a reward for winning a very prestigious award in our field. I won’t say who I work for though, for reasons that will become clear later haha. Funny story about the flight in was when the plane flattened out just before touching the ground, a co-worker goes, “Wow, that was a smooth landing.” One guy said what we all were thinking, “I don’t think we’ve touched-” Just as the plane slams down. Got a pretty good laugh from everyone and was a good way to kick off the trip.

We were put up at the Mirage. This was my first time staying in there and I was impressed, I’ve stayed at the Wynn and the Venetian and this was the most contemporary room I’m stayed it. I particularly liked the iPod dock for an alarm clock, as mine needed charging after the flight in.

First order of business was to go find a place to buy some alcohol to kick things off, My roommate for the trip and I got put on liquor store duty as we were the junior members of the crew. As a public service to all, Walgreens does not have beer, so save the trip. That little walk was not all lost, though, as we did follow a couple girls who if their dresses were any shorter, I could have seen their backs. After turning around, we were able to find a descent little liquor store at Carnival Court. Since we were spending other people’s money it was descent, but for my money I’ll go to the one down the street from Bill’s that still has 20 years left on the lease.

Once we got back, we congregated in my room to start pre-gaming and getting ready for the nights activities. We ate at one of my favorite restaurants in Vegas, the California Pizza Kitchen right by the sports book in the Mirage. I like how I can get a pizza and a big beer all for about 20 bucks, and be full. After supper, we got hooked up with some tickets the Love in the Mirage. This was my first Vegas show experience, and I really enjoyed it. I recommend it for those interested. It was a ton of acrobatics, roller bladers and trampoline artists. I’m glad I didn’t go with any more of a buzz than I did because it was a lot to take in. One of the funnier moments from the show was when the guy with flowers (for those who have seen it) is about to give the flowers to this girl, but then she blows him off for another dude dancing across stage and I, without thinking, blurted out, “That dirty tramp.” Just loud enough for the people around me to hear, they got a good laugh, and you have to admit, it was a trampish move.

After the show, a group of us tried to go to Jet nightclub, until I saw the line nearly backed up to the casino floor and decided I had better things to do. So I went off by myself. Did a little gambling at the Mirage, or as I call it, losing. I did watch a co-worker learn to play 3-Card Poker, and found out it’s not a fun game when the dealer is running hot, you lose a lot quickly. Next, I walked over to the Palazzo. While there I did something I had never done before, put 20 in a slot machine, one push, bonus, doubled up and cashed out. After that I checked my clock, it was 1:15, so I decided it was time to head over the Venetian to watch the drunk parade out of Tao, one of my favorite pastimes.

I decided to park myself at the video poker machines at the base of the escalators. The parade started off fairly slow, so I decided to try my luck at the video poker and that’s when I found out a new strategy. Soon after I put in my money, the cocktail waitress walked by and asked if I needed a drink, of course I did. Once I started playing the 3 hand version, I noticed I wasn’t really winning or losing, I was just staying afloat after about twenty minutes. Now granted, I was also paying attention to what was coming down the escalator, but I was also getting “free” drinks and staring to turn my buzz into a full on drunk. Overall the parade was not the best I’d seen, the highlight was when a girl, for a reason that I did not catch, decided we all needed to see her breasts, but I suppose if I would have paid that much them I’d want to show them off too.

Around 3, I got back to my room to call it a night, or so I thought. I had just gotten to sleep when my roommate whips open the door, obviously hammered. Now there’s a girl that has a thing for him, who we affectionately refer to as the Bear, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions. Well, apparently he decided he was drunk enough to give her what she wanted, or as he put it, “I’m gonna go tame the Bear!” Then he remembered her roommate had found some male companion ship, which he put as, “I’m about to have me a orgy.“ Yes, a orgy. In my half asleep/still kinda drunk stupor, all I could muster for support was, “Well, don’t cross swords.“ He then decided he would need more beer, as our sink became the cooler. He asked if he could take the ice bucket out of the room, so carry his beer, which I told him was fine as long as we get back. Then he left and I went back to sleep.

I woke up about 7:30 Saturday morning, and I had no roommate. So I called some of my other co-workers so see where they were, as I had a story. They got a kick out of the previous nights events and for some reason one of them decided to he really wanted IP buffet for breakfast. So we walked that way, still not word from the bear hunter.

We got to the IP, got the brunch buffet which was average at best. Although it was one of the few times I’ve had pancakes and pizza. About midway through brunch, we got word from my roommate, who had found his way back to our room. Apparently, the bear’s roommate was going on and on about how well endowed her companion had been, so he couldn’t go through with it because he was nervous. However, as he put it, he felt better about himself after a shower and was going to go back down there and, “beat her with my wang.” He also did not know he was on speaker phone until he all busted up laughing. We did get him to say that he did at least get a little action so the hunt was not a total disaster. He did then decided it was better if he did not go back down there as he sobered up, even though he forgot the ice bucket down there.

After the buffet, I decided to go check out Aria and the City Center, and the rest of the guys followed. Once we got down there, I began to realize the mistake that was made in eating at the IP, as I had some digestive distress and found the first bathroom in the mall area off the strip in City Center. It was probably the nicest public bathroom I had been in. Mahogany dividers, granite counter tops, the works, but what do you expect for $8.5 billion right? The rest of the City Center shopping mall was insane, I don’t think I could afford anything in the stores but the place was nuts. A lot of mahogany everywhere including the big staircase area to make your way to Aria. If you take the first entrance heading south after the Bellagio, it’s a bit confusing to get back to Aria as you exit the shopping area on the side of the casino and have to walk around the building a tad.

Once in the casino, it was clear they kept that mahogany theme and if was also very dark on the floor, kind of like the Palms. It was also very modern themed and you could tell they subscribed to the idea that people like to gamble in quaint spaces as the casino just wound back around and you were never able to see very far in either direction. I also didn’t win a dime there, but I also managed to not lose a dime so par for the course.

After Aria, we walked back to the Mirage to catch a cab to a little off-strip sports bar our boss knew about and enjoyed. Hey, he was picking up the tab so we were in. It was called the Tap House, it was on west Charleston, about a 25 dollar cab ride from the Mirage. If was not a bad little joint, we hung out and watched the playoff football games. We let the boss in on the previous nights’ “bear hunt,” and he took it upon himself to ask why he got a call today about a missing ice bucket from one of the rooms, as we see two peoples’ faces get beet red, as one guy says, “Well, you wanted company bonding.” The real highlight then came later when the waitress brought a five gallon bucket full of ice to the table saying she found the missing ice bucket, complete with a mirage room key on top. Overall the Tap House was not bad, but nothing you can’t find on the strip so I would make a special trip out there.

We got back to the mirage, cleaned up, and decided to sit down and have some more drinks at the Revolution lounge, as none of us were doing to hot gambling so ten bucks a drink was better than the twenty we were paying for “free” drinks. Plus those Revolution dancers weren’t too bad either. Around midnight, most of the guys decided to call it a night since our flight left at 7 am Sunday. I had a tradition to uphold of staying up the all night before heading to the airport, and I was feeling pretty good about myself after drinking since about 3, so I caught the tram over to T.I. before settling in for the drunk parade. Nothing was really going on at T.I. so I made my way to the Venetian.

By now it was about 1-1:30 and I bet 500 people were still waiting to get into Tao. As I’m just about to get on the escalator to post up at the poker machine, this group of guys, who obviously are not going to get in to Tao, ask if I knew where Lavo was. I replied with, “You guys are way off, it’s in the Palazzo.” They asked where it was and if I’d show them back there. I figured why not, and showed them back there, see pays to know your geography. Once we got back there, they were about to walk in and asked if I’d join them, I didn’t want to pay cover so I said no, then they offered to pay the cover, so I figured why not as I’d never been to a club in Vegas yet. Once we got in, I needed to lose them pronto, so while they were arguing over where to buy a drink, I slipped out to the packed dance floor never to see them again.

Now I’m from Iowa, but I am fairly proficient with club music, even more so after a bunch of cocktails. So I see this good looking little blonde, so I go up and start dancing with her and singing along with some of the songs. She asks me where I was from, I said Iowa, and she didn’t believe me since I knew a lot of the words to these rap songs, apparently people outside this state think all we got is goat roping music. Then she goes, follow us, we’ll be back. I figure, why not, following people got me this far, why stop now. We start walking and pretty soon I realized, these girls got bottle service, or as it popped into my head, Jackpot. We got to talking, they asked how long I was in Vegas for, I was like until 7 am. Then I looked at my clock and it was 3:45, so I hopped up said my goodbyes, and headed back to my hotel. I packed my things, found my group, hopped a cab and headed to the airport thus concluding another successful trip to fabulous Las Vegas.

Once in the airport, it became clear that I was the only one that was still last nights’ clothes from our group in the terminal. Which I determined makes me the winner! Thanks for reading, happy trails and we‘ll see you at the madness.