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Yeah, I'll have the 100oz margarita please...

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by duffelbag don, Mar 4, 2008.

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  1. duffelbag don

    duffelbag don Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2003
    Messages:
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    Location:
    chicago
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    7

    My Trip Report

    ...and that was the first morning. Oh man this was definitely a trip worthy of a Hollywood script. It's got action. It's got suspense. It's got brawling hookers. It's got liquor. (Lots of liquor by the way.) And its got...dare I say...romance. Yeah, I said it. Romance. Hopefully that last one has more to follow...for you guys and myself for a long time!

    This venture has me riding shotgun with my cousins and their band of cohorts. 17 to be exact. And if you have to ask why the odd number just look to me. Eight married couples and me going stag. Yeah, guess what everybody was trying to do the entire trip. Getting paraded around like I was some sort of piece of meat at the beef auction. I couldn't go anywhere at Midway without getting some sort of attention directed towards me. The ladies basically told me that we were going out single and coming home married. Yeah this is just what I wanted to deal with as I was slugging beers at Illinois Bar and Grill after 2 days of sh*t at work, and finally getting the green light to escape. I almost felt like that guy in The Running Man where he tried to make the break from the slave yard and I was just waiting for my head to explode. So I pounded about 4 beers and boarded the plane and went to sleep because I had to pick up a rental car and drive to In-n-Out, er, I mean Imperial Palace that night.

    So I get off the plane and grab my bag and board a shuttle to the new car rental facility, which is new to me because I haven't been out here in almost 3 years, and then try to weasel a Mercedes out of the garage because I told the attendant that I didn't know that a compact and luxury car were any different, but he caught me on that, there's no attendant, the lady upstairs told me to pick a car. So I picked a car that I thought was worth $20 a day. Needless to say I was driving a Ford Fusion the rest of the weekend. But it had a CD player and I came prepared. What with the remasted Cd Mothership being released with Zeps finest, Kashmir never sounded better when I was cruising the Strip.

    I valet the Ford. Check-in with little hassle at now 1:15 LV time. Thought about doing the $20 trick, (and afterwards I wish I did,) hustle my tired ass up to room 1166 at the IP. I got the illustrious view of the IP pool which came accompanied with a slight view of the Mirage and the tower of Harrahs. And if I was to turn in early enough, musical entertainment from your favorite Carnival Court. But for what I was looking for it got the job done. I was looking forward to a few brews at the end of a long night of Vegas, sitting on the blacony and enjoying a Cohiba at the end of the night. The balcony had me sold.

    So after settling in, I amble downstairs and trip across the pass line at the craps table. I manage to kill about 30 mins while throwing back a few Cap'n and cokes and then make haste towards Harrahs. I make my way thru the door and find 5 of my new crew playing $25 BJ and making a literal killing. There was so much money on the table I couldn't even watch. So I made the rounds, (got drinks), and scoped the tables for some play. Now it was friday night and I was in Harrahs, on the strip so I knew I wasn't going to find any flea tables...which is what I was looking for at the time, because I needed some entertainment. So I headed north to the Casino Royal-e. Oh yeah what's not to love about this dump. The smell. The long line of beer drinkers looking for that $1 Michelob, the young couple having sex at the WoF machine...yeah that's right I said it. Young couple having sex at the WoF machine. I walked by and not giving it a second glance that this young hottie was straddling her boyfriend, but when I saw his pants were lower than, lets say normal and she was moving her skirt up to her neckline, well, the security guard obviously knew WTF was going on. In as many words he basically told the couple to A) Get decent. And B) Get a f***ing room, they're not that expensive here. It made for great conversation at the craps table for the next hour where I managed to walk away with an extra $80.

    One thing I did notice as well. Seeing as usually I'm 3 sheets on any Friday night in Vegas. Experiencing things at a somewhat more sober level at these hours gives you a whole new perspective on the nightlife in Vegas. Don't get me wrong. I was throwing down the cocktails at a champions pace, but I started at like 1-2 AM. There were many other people ahead of me and they paved the way with entertainment once 5 AM rolled around. All I can is ... WOW!

    So I wake up about 9AM on Saturady and not being really hungry I decided to go downstairs and grab a coffee from Starbucks and hit a BJ table at the IP. I found a single deck table for $10 bucks and tried to grind out some dinero for a an hour or so. My effort proved futile though as just when I went in for the kill, I got shot down. However, when I told myself I was gonna walk and try to enjoy the LV morning air I decided to throw in another $50. It turned into one of my very few instances of chasing money turned out to be good. I walked off with $350 an hour later. And I wasn't even drinking. I figured by 11AM I needed to go see what the rest of the gang was up to.

    A couple of them went to play in the daily poker tourney at Harrahs at 11AM. I found myself in the sportsbook at Harrahs betting on Stewart and JR. for the Bud Shootout. Oh yeah I also took Smoke for the 500 which was so close but yet so far, and the Championship. The latter is to be decided in November. So when a couple other crewmembers wandered up with an invitation to Margaritaville for lunch, I knew that this trip was looking up.

    We sit down and the waitresstalks us into getting this 100 oz margarita since we all want to get margs. It turned out to be a monetary blessing. The 4 of us drank this giraffe, had a sandwich apiece and an order of nachos, and the bill came to $105 plus tip. With all the eat and drink that happened, it was definitely worth it here, where the tabs can go north very rapidly.

    So after stuffing our faces with burgers and nachos and margaritas I decide to split up fromthe group and head towards the Sahara and to NASCAR cafe where I can guarantee this is the only place where I can watch the ARCA race at Daytona. Now for those who don't know what ARCA is, it is the division right below NASCAR. So all the young guys and older guys trying to make a name for themselves and trying to get to NASCAR, this is where they race. Seeing as how I was in Vegas, I knew that I would have to go to the Sahara.
     
  2. duffelbag don

    duffelbag don Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Trips to Las Vegas:
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    ...carrying on...

    So I go jump to the monorail and escape to the Sahara and immediatlely when I get off the mono and walk into the casino I know I've reached the right place. The race is just starting and I walk up to the first bar I see and order a MGD and a shot of Jack. Tradition, mind you. Eventually I make my way to the NASCAR cafe and somehow shun the urge to ride Speed. I'm a roller coaster nut and although I've ridden Speed at least 2 dozen times, I still have to fight the urge to ride it again. Instead I grab a seat at the end vid poker seat.

    I watch the race and actually run into a few people, who know a few people and so on and so forth who know some people who I know in racing and am yet reminded of how small the world is. Good times. So after the ARCA race is over and the bullshitting session that follows is rolling along, this nice young lady sits down and somehow gets involved with our conversation. I didn't know it at first, but, by the time the Bud Shootout rolls around, we're getting along like we're old high school friends that have just been reunited. Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada. JR wins the shootout. I'm $100 richer. I have to go and catch my friends for the 10
    :30 show of LOVE. So how do I play this. Here's my number, call ya later. Hell it Vegas, I'm gonna roll the dice.

    So after I getted dropped off at the IP curb courtesy of Christie, (yeah that's her name). I run upstairs and clean up to meet my cousins at the entrance to the LOVE theater. The 3 of us take our seats and ready for the show. Truly Cirque showmanship, but I really felt that they were trying to make a show out of something everyone would go for, ie Beatles. Now I thought it was spectacular to see the performances, but to hear John, Paul, George and Ringo in a theatrical setting...well how many of us have has the oppurtunity to the Fab Four live. LOVE gives us that oppurtunity. Cirque performers almost take a back seat. As loud as you can ever play the Beatles...to have it echo thru a pavilion....Magical...

    However the 2 guys sitting to my right could've laid back on the play by play. They insisted on letting me know what was going to happen next and how this part of the performance could have been improved and... you get the point. About 2/3 thru the performance I let them know if they said another word the my cousin the ex-marine would kill them in a moments notice and no one in the audience would even know they were dead until the next day when they were to fill the auditorium for the next show. That didn't even work.

    So after leaving the Mirage, I called up Christie to see what she had on her agenda. Probably some other tourists or prey or someone that was willing to give her the time of day. Sorry, gotta be brutally honest here, because I've been down that road before. She agreed to me me at the IP in roughly an hour. So I hustled the floor of Harrahs with my friends and made them throw down an oyster shooter at Pennazzi and followed that up with some pai-gow with my cousin, who has gotten me hooked.

    After playing pai-gow for an hour and getting pretty well lit, I decided to walk over to the IP. I colored up for about $50, still keeping my conservative streak alive. I've been in vegas almost 24 hrs and have only had $150 touch the table buying in and am up close to $300 on that....I want to keep that going. I clear the doors to the IP and there's Christie on her phone trying to get ahold of me, when my phone is ringing. Well, how ironic is that, well without sounding cliche. We go to the bar and both granb a beer and proceed to pick up where we left off...talking. Next thing you know we're walking down the strip, making fun of drunks and standing by the Bellagio fountains. And by now they're not going off. We're just standing there, hanging out. Fvckking weird.

    So when I wake up I offer to grab breakfast at he Peppermill. Christie's a go for it. She loves it. So we do the mill. God damn bloody marys are the best. I ordered so much food that if I tried twice I couldn't eat it all. And that damn fruit plate. Jesus!After breakfast she heads for home and head for the Mirage. That's where my crew is at getting ready for the probowl. I tell 'em I'll meet 'em there...eventually.
     
  3. duffelbag don

    duffelbag don Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Location:
    chicago
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    7
    So I make my way to the Mirage sportsbook and find about 6 of my crew kicked back in the nice reclined chairs that the Mirage has to offer. Noted. Uh, yeah, Red Bull and vodkas all around. Times 2. And another. Yeah feed the boys. Yeah it continues. It gets worse. Wrecked by the end. Oh yeah dinner at Onda by 6:00. Oh it was great. I special ordered lobster bisque along with my linguini pescatore. Which was basically linguini with a sh*t load of seafood on top. Crab, mussels, shrimp, lobster. By all means it was delicious, but I wanted to party. And gamble. And spend more time with new squeeze and interrogate her with me family crew who is gonna look out for me.

    After dinner, I was useless. I hobbled to my room at the IP. I was afraid to move. The lobster bisque being so rich, defeated my cheeseburger and fry digestive system. I was no match for high dollar cuisine.

    Christie, being a sport weathered the storm. After 5 hours of therapy we wandered down to O'Sheas and found most of my crew. Some were played poker. Others, BJ. My cousin Joann, at a $5 min pai gow table. Believe it or not, we sat at this table for the next 2hours and had the most rollicking good time. The dealers loved us. The pit boss loved us. Even the drunk college kids playing beer pong had to come over and see what the fuss was all about. It was a blast. And we maybe won about $50. It was a great time. I was doing my part and betting for the dealer. And apparently setting an example. As sick as I was I still got everyone at the table to not only bet for the dealer but put a bnus bet up for the as well. After so many hours of this I had to call it a night. Even though i was feeling better, I wasn't up to 100% so me and Christie called it a night.

    So I woke up about 5AM and couldn't sleep. i took a shower and walked downstairs to get a caramel mach- whatever. So I've gotten hooked on starbucks go shoot me. As I'm walking by I run into my cousin who says that Ed, Jim and Dave are playing craps at Casino Royale. I'm sporting pajama bottoms and a t-shirt that has a dirt-late-model on it...so I'm in code and stumble over to Casino Royale. These 3 guys are building a clay factory and have the dealers playing to their every beck-n-call. Yeah all truth. After seeing what's happening in front of me. I...in pajamas....buy in for $100. Would you believeI lost it in about 5 mins? Welcome to my world. I take my coffee and leave and begin to retreat to my room at the IP whem I see these two gals start swingin. Right outside the entrance/exit to casinoroyale to the venetian, these girls were goin all off. Hair extensions were flying, profanities exchanged, everything but a fist was thrown. My drunk ass and I quote, "Hit the bitch..." Hey it got good support from the peanut gallery. Good humor from the Royale at the wee hours of the morning.

    So now it's Monday. Christie has called in sick because she likes me and is ready to throw her job on the line...big points with me, I nab her license and run her number with a friend to make sure she's on the up-n-up, it's like noon and we're not hungry, for food anyway, that I tell her that I want to go and check out the pinball hall of fame. So we get situated and head est on tropicana and find the PoF. Ladies and gentlemen of the T2V board. This place cannot go unfounded. We spent 7 hours in this place and a grand total of $25, playing pinball and video games of whatever generation you are of. This place is awesome. I spent 1 hour on high speed pinball alone just to run the red light and escape the cops like I wanted to when I first seen it when I was 14. Tetris, donkey kong, space invaders, tron. Welcome to your arcade from 1986. Tim who is the owner prides himself in offering these machines for people, newcomers (14 yrs old) to veterans ( 35 yrs old) and the best thing about it is they all share the same thing....you can't beat me goal. Someone sets a high score...someone wants to beat it. God forbid you start a game when someone elses quarter is on the glass....

    After playing pinball all day, we decided to drop by Macayos for some food. It's about 1.5 east on Tropicana and it's good. We both had an entree with some cocktaiols and the bill only came to about $40. To add to it it was the best carnitas I've ever had outside the west side of Chicago. Great food. I was speechless. To my friend Juanito, I'm sorry, I think they got your mama's recipe. It was that good. (I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a chain.)

    So after lunch or dinner or whatever, we're on some kind of random time scale at this point any how, I call my cousin Joann and find out that she is, were else, on the mini-pai-gow table at O'Sheas. Here comes the calvary, we make our way to the IP and valet the car and amble over to O'Sheas. We sit down at the table for over 4 hours. At one point 3 drunk college kids come over to try and buy into the game and they don't have a clue to what way is north or whatever. All I could think of was, "I 've been there and I know what it feels like." Wow we're theres kids liquored. All I could do was say to myself, " I've been there. I've done that.." These guys hung out for about 5 hands and then retreated off to some safe zone of the casino.

    So now we're at this mini-pai-gow table. Yeah I know the odds are sh*t but we're now having a fun fvcing time. Afetr about 5 hours, when my eyelids were falling off my face, I was forced to calling it a night.

    So I woke up on Tuesday. The final day. I realized that having a balcony is great when you want to have a cigar in the middle of the night and you cantell the world to f---off. Anyways I pack my sh*t and ready to go tackle the Chicago tundra. What made it even better was for the people who don't fly as much...had to land in Midway airport in the middle of a snowstorm. It was like a roller coaster ride without brakes when we landed. They got off light. They probably don't have to play 2K mile phone tag.

    Great trip. Not as much rum and booze and debauchery...but enought to get you in trouble.
    Oh yeah when's the next one?
     
  4. duffelbag don

    duffelbag don Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    I have to apologize for the spelling in most of the report. I wrote this when I was 1/2 into a bottle Morgan. Can't blame a man who's happy about rum and sex.
     
  5. ghetto71

    ghetto71 Tourist

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    Great TR!:thumbsup:
     
  6. Cleveland Gary

    Cleveland Gary Low-Roller

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    "...big points with me, I nab her license and run her number with a friend to make sure she's on the up-n-up,"

    I love it!
     
  7. tara

    tara Low-Roller

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    Great report! Thanks for sharing!! What happened to the girl though? She disappeared after you ate Mexican...
     
  8. aggie182

    aggie182 Off Key and Out of Tune

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    dude, great TR. thanks for helping me procrastinate part of my work morning away. good luck with the lady.
     
  9. mikenhe

    mikenhe VIP Whale

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    Nice – sounds like a good time. I’d love to hit the pinball one trip – if I can fit it in..
     
  10. doctor_al

    doctor_al VIP Whale

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    The rambling only adds to the atmosphere. That was a fun read don! :thumbsup:
     
  11. sunni

    sunni VIP Whale

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    Great report Don. Are you keeping in touch with Christie ..inquiring minds need to know :wave:
     
  12. angel81chick

    angel81chick Abuelita

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    Great TR :nworthy:

    Completely enjoyed the read, and as Sunni mentioned....we want to know! :evillaugh
     
  13. HurricaneMikey

    HurricaneMikey A-List Buffoon

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    Drinking, Gambling, Hooking Up....

    Ain't Vegas great? :thumbsup:

    Thanks for the write-up, Don! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

    Mikey
     
  14. duffelbag don

    duffelbag don Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    WOW! I just woke up and since I'm off today, just re-read my TR. Damn, was I loaded. The empty bottle of Cap'n Morgan next to the computer might have had something to do with it. I have to agree with you Al about the rambling. I need to regain my composure. Some of the stories were hard to follow. Almost Fear and Loathing style.

    Me and Christie are keeping in touch. And we both agree on the fact we live too far from each other. All we can do now is stay in touch and hope for the best.

    A few other things I left out...

    Staying at the IP was pretty good. It reminded me of the LVClub. Basic without the bells and whistles. A strip view would've been killer.

    Speaking of DT...I never made it this time. I promise to pay the fiddler next trip and ride the grain train twice.

    It was weird seeing the MonteCarlo completely dark at night.

    Noticed a lot more police and security on the strip.

    Couldn't get over the construction at CityCenter and the new condo towers that are popping up all around the strip. I just wonder who's got the money to live there?

    Dinner at Onda was exceptional. If I remember correctly, my entree, the bisque and 2 cocktails came to about $90 tax and tip. A bit pricey you could say. Hell the Kobe filet special was $145.

    I didn't gamble as much this trip. Probably because of playing getting to know you with Christie. Although it felt more like catching up on old times. I spent maybe 3-4 hours playing BJ. Maybe 2-3 hours playing craps. And I can't even begin to think about how many hours playing pai-gow. Mini and regular. But, I did manage to break even on my gambling bankroll. I couldn't believe it when I got home and counted up the money I came home with. First time ever for that. I'm always prepared to come home with about 77 cents in my pocket.

    I'll take vegas weather in February any day over the Midwest in February. High 50's during the day and low 40's at night...it felt like spring for christsakes. I was home for about 30mins before I had to grab a shovel.

    Definitely had a great time. Even without getting dumb, stupid falling down drunk and losing hundreds in gambling. Sh*t one night I was walking the strip with a, gasp, cup of coffee in hand. I must be losing it.
     
  15. gotavegasjones

    gotavegasjones VIP Whale

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    duffelbag don - very nice TR. Thanks. Even with the rmbling and mizpelling it was a fun read.

    later, GVJ
     
  16. co21ss

    co21ss Tourist

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    Great stories and TR!
     
  17. swanny

    swanny Low-Roller

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    Very entertaining TR. Thanks for sharing....
     
  18. atcmurph

    atcmurph Watcher Of The Skies

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    Was there misspelling? I didn't notice. Thanks for the entertaining report :beer:
     
  19. Jack21

    Jack21 Guest

    Man that was phenomenal. Enjoyed every line.:thumbsup:
     
  20. sageblue

    sageblue High-Roller

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    Awesome report! Thanks for getting me in the Vegas frame of mind!
     
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