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What do you think.

Discussion in 'Misc. Vegas Chat' started by edmguy, Sep 4, 2015.

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  1. edmguy

    edmguy Tourist

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    Not looking for sympathy but rather your reasoned opinions.

    My wife I have been to Vegas two or three times a year for twenty years.

    Unfortunately she passed away unexpectedly in March.

    I love Vegas and want to keep going but am afraid I won't enjoy it alone.

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. Jer

    Jer VIP Whale

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    I guess my question would be have you stopped doing everything you and your wife enjoyed together? I for one am all for honoring one's memory by living life to the fullest. I really get where you are coming from though. If you two enjoyed Vegas together, then I would say try it. If you don't like it, you gave it your best shot!
     
  3. VegasDiva

    VegasDiva VIP Whale

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    I agree, in a way it may be a form of closure, especially if you had some interactions with the staffs etc at your haunts there :)
     
  4. Geogran

    Geogran OTD Tea Sipper

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    So sorry for your immense loss.

    Since Vegas was something you both loved to do together, that first trip alone will be difficult.
    I'm sure your wife would want you to continue doing those things you enjoy; she will be with you in spirit - and very possibly cheering you on! Perhaps taking a friend or family member along would help the transition. If you go solo, maybe stay somewhere new for that first visit. Once there and the memories come flooding back, don't fight it - embrace and cherish the memories knowing the joy you found together can be part of new memories that you will be making going forward.
    Wishing you the very best.
    Geogran
     
  5. JoJoR

    JoJoR High-Roller

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    I'd recommend going, try it out for a couple of nights. I've made about 4 solo trips (piggy backed on other trips) in the past year and it's been great. I hit up the pool, spa, gamble a bit, see a show, and hit up a bar or two for drinks. Meals are a bit of a downer, but either people watch or just surf the internet on your phone. Usually most restaurants have bars and you can skip the wait and just sit at the bar.

    Vegas (as in the strip) is one of those places where you're surrounded by tourists/people on business, you won't stick out. If you want to go crazy at night at one of the clubs you can do it, or if you want a chill night and grab a few drinks, there's plenty of places to go. Depending on how outgoing you are, you can easily chat up someone and have a good time.
     
  6. Big dan

    Big dan Low-Roller

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    I say go. I used to have monthly trips with my grandma. I wouldn't think of going without her ( she would be so mad ) Then she passed away and I went on a trip in her honor and played all the games she liked. I swear, I couldn't loose that day. Came home way ahead
     
  7. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Low-Roller

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    That would be so hard for me. I honestly don't know if I could do it. I sort of feel like I would know when it was right. So sorry for your loss.
     
  8. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    My condolences on the passing of your wife. I'm certain she would want you to go. Do it for her. You said you love Vegas. She would want you to continue doing what you love.

    Good luck and take care.
     
    Going to Hawaii's 9th Island!!
    Going to Hawaii's 9th island!!
  9. LolaDoggie

    LolaDoggie VIP Whale

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    I'm sorry for your loss.

    To be honest, it's only been since March, you're probably not enjoying a whole lot of anything still.

    Other people have given good advice and I agree with them.

    I think the only way you're going to know if you should go or not is to go and see how it goes. Of course it'll be emotional. When you get home from that trip, if you feel the pull back to Vegas, then you know.

    I wish I could do better for advice. But, I give you a hug and I wish you my best.
     
  10. abileneblues

    abileneblues Low-Roller

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    When things are hard for me, I break them into steps.

    First, set a reservation for your trip. Easy and doesn't cost you anything. How do you feel once it is made? If it doesn't feel right, maybe you shouldn't go to the hotel that was your favorite stay at together. Cancel that one and make a reservation for another hotel you've wanted to check out. How does that feel.

    Booking a flight is harder as you might want to book a refundable flight in case you decide to bail. How do you feel now that it's more real having spent some money on a flight?

    I think at each step you give yourself a little time to decide how it feels. Give yourself permission to bail on the trip at any step. It's not like it will hurt anything or anybody if you decide that it's too soon to try a Vegas trip.

    If Vegas was as much of a happy place for you and your wife as it is for me and mine, I can totally understand your hesitation. You don't want to go and be sad the entire trip and a part of you feels guilty that you might have fun without her. Or maybe you just don't know how to feel. Any and all of those are valid feelings.

    Here are some likely facts that you can plug into the equation wherever you feel they might fit.
    !) Your wife would likely want you to have a great time in Vegas.
    2) Vegas will still be there if you decide to put if off until you feel more ready.
    3) There are plenty of things to do there and you could probably find something different to do if you didn't want to do the things you did together or wanted to find new things to enjoy by yourself.


    I hope something that I've said is helpful. God bless you as you mourn your loss and I hope you find a way to once again let Vegas be a happy place for you.
     
    Finally!
  11. vegasvic

    vegasvic VIP Whale

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    Do you have to go solo? Any buddies who would be interested?
     
  12. ruralhipster

    ruralhipster Low-Roller

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    I would suggest doing Vegas in a different way than you did previously. Don't stay at the Hotels you typically did with your wife. Were there things you would have done if you could have but the wife wouldn't have been happy?

    Poker tournaments, bowling, visiting a cigar lounge, going to a movie, pinball hall of fame, strip clubs, eating at diners, visiting dive casinos, driving 20 minutes out of my way for an apple fritter, these are things I do on my solo trips that I don't when going with female company. I enjoy visiting Vegas solo but I keep it short as sometime between day 3 and day 5 I find Vegas transitions from being a lot of fun to a being a little tragic and depressing.
     
  13. ACMike

    ACMike High-Roller

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    You never know until you try. Schedule a short trip, and if you don't like it, come home. Good luck!
     
  14. IM ALL IN

    IM ALL IN Low-Roller

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    I like Abileneblues advice. Take the steps, but have an out. I soooo often do that with airline reservations and then WAIT FOR THE SIGN... I always buy tripflex in case I have to cancel/change dates/come home early etc. Now I am not at all in the same position as you having lost your wife, your Vegas playmate. I am just an almost separated/divorced to be (amicable) and have been going to Vegas solo for 15 years? (previous to that with someone). Sometimes I invite a gf down with me, but I prefer solo. I gamble. I've been involved in Slot tournaments since can't remember when. I have built up quite a friendship with so many similar minded slot players. I am never lonely in Vegas. I am hosted. I don't know what your level of play is, or you don't mention if you play at all. I just thought that if you ARE a player, maybe ask if you could get invited to one of the low end slot tournaments (or blackjack tournament if that is your game) your hotel of choice holds? There are usually sign in get togethers, there's usually a final awards dinner, (some like Nugget even feed you brunch)..at each tournament session people are always around to talk about floor play, what's your score, how you doin?...So there's always group activity. Just a suggestion. Aside from all that...JUST GO. You'll find your spot. (and I bet at some point in your trip, you will get a sign from your wife, saying you did good honey..)
     
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  15. merlin

    merlin VIP Whale

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    You should go, I'm sure your wife would have wanted you to keep going. It will be different, and there will be some sad moments when you do things you used to do together, but it should be fine.
     
  16. northerngirl

    northerngirl Low-Roller

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    Sorry for your loss. Being that she shared the love of Vegas with you, I know she would want you to continue doing what the two of you loved doing together.

    Three years ago my group met the sweetest couple (Henry and Ann.....devoted companions of 40 years) and Henry adopted us as his Vegas family. The following year Ann passed away. Henry, knowing we go every August at the beginning of the month, booked his first trip since his beloved Ann had passed. He told us he said a prayer to Ann before the trip that his new Vegas family would be there to help him get through his first trip without her. Luckily, his prayer was answered and we ended up spending his first trip with him. We had many toasts to Ann and celebrated her memory. Henry now travels to Vegas with a cousin and we email throughout the year and coordinate our dates.

    If you have a good friend, relative, etc., that loves Vegas, maybe your first trip without your wife it would help to have a traveling companion.

    Again, sorry for your loss.
     
  17. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    I am very sorry for the loss of your wife. I definitely think you should go to Vegas; it is something you both enjoyed and though it will be hard, you will have your memories of good times to bring you comfort. For your first trip though, if you have never been to Vegas alone, I would suggest traveling with a friend. I have done solo trips, but much prefer having a traveling companion to share in the fun. It can be a bit lonely when something funny happens, etc and you have no one to talk to about it. If you don't have anyone who can make the trip with you, I would suggest a short duration trip to test the waters. The great thing about Vegas is it is so easy to strike up a conversation and a very comfortable place to dine solo. Perhaps arrange your trip when someone has a board meet posted.
     
  18. justvisiting

    justvisiting Low-Roller

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. My late husband and I were only able to get to Vegas once together but I too wasn't sure if I could do it without him. But eventually I did and am glad I did. The first time with our DiL and later by my self. Just do it in your own time frame, don't let anyone tell you what is the appropriate amount of time to grieve, only you know when you are ready for anything.
     
  19. Vegasaddict2014

    Vegasaddict2014 Low-Roller

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    I'm very sorry for your loss. RIP to your wife.
    I echo what many have said and suggest going for a short while, possibly with a friend or relative, and see how you feel. It will be hard, I'm sure, but I bet your wife would want you to continue doing things you both enjoyed and it'll bring back all those lovely memories you shared together.
    I hope you find the strength to return and have a good time.
    Just go when you feel ready...
     
  20. edmguy

    edmguy Tourist

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    Thanks all.

    My next trip is with a platonic friend.

    After that I will take all the great advice and go alone.
     
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