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'Twas the week before Vegas. A poem...

Discussion in 'Misc. Vegas Chat' started by Fishin' Coach, Jan 13, 2014.

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  1. Fishin' Coach

    Fishin' Coach Tourist

    Mar 14, 2004
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    When the Lights go out in Vegas

    Twas the week before Vegas, when all through the land
    Not a teacher was teaching, per the lesson they had planned
    The singles they were counting to ensure a great time
    For Candy, Glitter, and Diamond won’t shake it for only a dime.
    Their minds were a racing with images of bright shiny lights
    While GB thought of Cabbies and was ready for some fights
    Not all were excited for their wives own their balls
    but Jon, Pete, and Berger should still expect some calls
    ~There will be news of winnings, losses, and booze
    So many stories it would be tough for them to choose
    The first will involve the hobos screaming in delight
    As the man known as Big Daddy starts giving them a Kool Light
    They will claim him a saint, an angel sent from God
    He will merely look at them before puking in the sod
    ~Dollar Tequila shots with salt that disappears
    Has put many a man directly on their rears.
    For a few of the group the stories will involve money
    The standard answer for loved ones is I am having fun, honey
    As my bank account goes down I will turn to the wheel
    For it must land on black is what I will feel
    Click, Click, Click, goes the wheel as it’s in motion
    The slower it gets I start getting a sinking notion
    When the color of Red was its final destination
    The IP was thankful for my gracious donation.
    Bad luck would find Farmer at the black jack table
    He would keep throwing chips until he was no longer able
    He need not worry for GB would buy him food
    A delicious seafood buffet would lighten the mood.
    Some luck would turn some would stay the same
    A bald guy wanting to shag would ask who was game
    These are some memories from trips from the past
    Those who witnessed them know we had a blast.
    A new trip is near filled with new and old faces.
    Some casinos names have changed but they’re the same places.
    For those who are going let’s have the time of our lives
    While those who wimped out have fun with your wives.

    Details previous trip highlights of mlk weekend trips we have over the past ten years, a group of present and retired teachers...
    IMHO this guy has too much free time :)
  2. jimboguy

    jimboguy My sloppy joe is all sloppy and no joe.

    Nov 15, 2010
    Salt Lake City, UT
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    After reading this poem, visions of blackjacks and booze have replaced the sugar plums. :nworthy:
    Thanksgiving Weekend
    I like fall


    Jun 17, 2013
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    I think it is cool!!!! :nworthy:

    And I do not know the people involved, and it still made sense!
  4. sco5123

    sco5123 VIP Whale

    Jul 29, 2011
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Sweet! Vegas poetry--I can dig it.
  5. Molder66

    Molder66 Low-Roller

    Jan 20, 2013
    Phoenix Area
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Missing verse

    I think I found the missing verse

    Gambling was plenty as I won a progressive yesterday
    I couldn’t believe all my new friends after the hand pay
    Into a limo and off to the strip club we would go
    I woke up broke but will cherish the memories of hookers and blow.

    • Like Like x 1
  6. Fishin' Coach

    Fishin' Coach Tourist

    Mar 14, 2004
    Trips to Las Vegas:

    We’ll continue the countdown to the land of sin,
    here is some advice for those who’ve never been.

    The first night in Vegas you will be on full tilt,
    some lose their minds in the city that was built.

    A combination of whiskey and loose playing slots,
    strippers, Blackjacks, and never ending shots.

    The liquid courage you gain will put you on cloud nine,
    and the glow of the lights will ensure you are fine.

    You’ll be in a world where time seems to stand forever still,
    trying to consume all that’s offered and get your fill.

    With childhood characters lying on the every block,
    The level of drunkenness will leave you in shock.

    But heed my advice for the magic will soon end,
    Projectile vomit to the toilet you will send.

    Your night will be over, the room will spin
    The smell of puke will radiate off your chin.

    But fear not first timers for this feeling will pass
    Sleep, water, and food will get you off your ass.
    A new day arrives and you began to understand,
    While very few people leave Vegas with cash in hand.
  7. Fishin' Coach

    Fishin' Coach Tourist

    Mar 14, 2004
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    Or yet one more....

    Gary’s Cherry
    By Adam Shoop

    Another day closer and our quest will begin
    An epic story of 8 great men.
    This time I will regale you with a story of lust
    For when in Las Vegas seeing ladies is a must

    But one man resisted the lure of the pole
    His name was Gary and he claimed self-control
    He would go if he must, to quiet our cries
    Upon entering the building something in his pants quickly gave rise

    He stared in amazement and took it all in
    A lady walked up her name was Quinn
    She was a real beauty and scantily clad
    The look on his face showed he was instantly glad

    She offered a dance, just come in the back
    He thought to himself she has a nice rack
    A voice in his head said he should say no
    Another popped up and said he should go

    A classic struggle ensued between right and wrong
    She said two for $100 or $75 per song
    His mind was made up as they went to the VIP
    Visions of boobies was all he could see

    He had never gotten a private dance in 54 years
    But this chick was different and brought him to tears.
    She grinded and grinded and grinded away
    His once black pants had now turned to gray

    The music stopped and the fun had just ended
    Her enthusiasm he quickly commended.
    He walked back to us and told of his tale
    Due to a lack of blood he appeared to be pale.

    He would walk out of the club never the same
    For Quinn’s money maker he had almost came
    Not all can claim they witnessed the first dance
    But for those of us who did I’m glad we got the chance.
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