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Turtleman may have to change his handle!

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by Turtleman, Jul 23, 2013.

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  1. Turtleman

    Turtleman VIP Whale

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    For an introduction, the Turtleman handle was bestowed upon me a long time ago by a former girlfriend and dive buddy; but basically, I've had a thing for turtles before I entered first grade. My turtle obsession hasn't diminished since; in fact, it's only increased. By the way, there really isn't anything remotely kinky about it. (You do know the difference between "kinky" and "perverted, don't you?" Kinky is when you use a feather, and perverted is when you use the whole chicken!)

    Anyway, when growing up, one of my two brothers had asthma and was allergic to almost everything. As a result, we couldn't have the usual dog or cat for a pet and had to settle for those little dime store turtles instead. It didn't take long before I discovered that I really preferred those compact little creatures over other animals, and most people, anyway! Some things just never change. I have turtle paraphernalia all over the place and even named my long defunct company Terrapin, Inc.

    But moving right along, I never encountered any problems with my nickname until several months ago when I started getting inundated with emails for the "Turtleman" from the "Call of the Wildman" TV series. If you're not familiar with the show, consider yourself fortunate. But if you're curious, I'm sure you can find tons of snippets on YouTube and elsewhere on the Web. Evidently, when hunting for his email address, some folks stumble across my handle and somehow think that my email address, which doesn't include "Turtleman" is what they seek.

    At first, I used to send a reply to the misdirected senders saying "Sorry, but I am most definitely NOT the Turtleman you seek. I live in Atlanta, GA, and although I go by the Turtleman handle on many websites, I'm not on TV and have absolutely nothing to do with hunting or removing any kind of animals. In fact, it's only because of yours and similar emails over the past several weeks that I've even become aware of the Turtleman on TV. Good luck contacting the TV Turtleman!"

    Unfortunately, the number of erroneous emails has increased to the point where it's no longer practical to respond, so they're now deleted, usually without reading. Most of the messages express their undying love and admiration for the Turtleman, while others complain about snakes, skunks, squirrels, raccoons, bees, bats, snapping turtles, well … you name it, and request him to remove the offenders. Some of the emails are actually well-written requests; but I'm sorry to say, the vast majority sound like the authors have very little knowledge of the English language. Okay, some notes are from kids, but many are from parents and teachers who should be able to compose at least one literate sentence. Many emails are from Kentucky, which might help explain something. And if you watch more than 30 seconds of a typical "Call of the Wildman" episode, you'll quickly understand the probable appeal this show might have for a certain audience. I particularly appreciated the warning I received from one irate writer after he received my standard "wrong address" response. He said I could get into serious legal trouble impersonating this character! I thanked him for his concern, while mentioning that sharing the same nickname is probably not a crime. I think his name might have been Bubba or something like that.

    Based on the number of misdirected emails I receive, I can only imagine how many the TV Turtleman must get. I'm sure that if he were so inclined, it would be a full-time job just answering the requests, let alone traveling all over (mostly Appalachia) to remove the critters, as well as attending the many parties and events to which he's invited.

    I really would consider giving up and changing my handle, but I'm afraid it probably wouldn't decrease the number of emails even slightly – not unless Google and other search engines go down or the "Call of the Wildman" leaves the air. One can only hope!
     
  2. DBear

    DBear VIP Whale

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    I'd play along! Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame! Or his? Do any of then send you kinky pictures? Fan mail is never read by the star anyways.
     
  3. Jimbo338

    Jimbo338 VIP Whale

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    I had a cousin that worked at Lake Tahoe and was the spitting image of Woodie Allen to the point that he would just smile, take a picture and let them go home with a story and a pic.

    Perhaps you could simply have a nickname, "Snapper"!

    Jimbo338
     
  4. loonytoony

    loonytoony VIP Whale

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    As long as they are not asking you to remove crabs from the nether region, you should probably take someone up on their offer to remove a critter. Probably could earn u some gambling money
     
  5. LolaDoggie

    LolaDoggie VIP Whale

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    Have you ever seen Blazing Saddles? Hedley Lamar?

    Here's my question. How long has this reality tv clown been using this nickname on tv? How long have you had this internet handle? I would put my money on you having it first. Which means, you can sue this guy for taking your name and generally messing with your online life.

    Of course, if you don't want the hassle, you could change your handle.
     
  6. dfalk

    dfalk VIP Whale

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    lol ya I would totally do that. Sent up a PO box and tell them to send fan mail there. It'd be pretty cool to see what obsessed fans send.
     
  7. STPFan

    STPFan Low-Roller

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    The web developer in my thinks you should find a way to monetize the traffic. Adsense revenue maybe. LOL
     
  8. flysrb

    flysrb Hey Now!

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    Hey Now!

    Judging from y'alls last couple of trips, I agree with the monetize option.Or just change your handle to Vern's Pop.
     
    HEY NOW! NYE in AC!!!!!!!
  9. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

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    :haha: That was my first thought too.

    I could change your name to Wildman if you'd like. ;)
     
  10. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    Turtleman,
    I was wonderin' if y'all cood come down
    to my place and remove some critters ?
    Thnak ya !
    .
    Bubba Joe Stonewall
    Kintucky, USA
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    BTW,
    I noticed "Turtleman" half way across the MSS casino
    because of his Turtle hat !
    I had never met or seen him before --
    just knew him from the posts on this board.:nworthy:
     
  11. Turtleman

    Turtleman VIP Whale

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    But I don't even own a hat! You probably meant "Vern the Turtle" who was with us.

    Anyway, and I can hardly believe it, after starting this thread, mentioning Bubba, and that the majority of emails originate from Kentucky, darn if another email didn't arrive from Kentucky the very next day! After the sender expressed her love for the Turtleman, she requested his assistance to rid a lake of beavers. It seems that the critters are eating holes through the bottom of BUBBA Brew's Sports Pub and Grill, a floating bar they own on Norris Lake, TN! She even included a link to the bar's website and invited Turtleman for frog legs and beer after removing the beavers. No joke – I couldn't make this stuff up. It looks like a pretty cool bar, so I made an exception and sent a nice reply. Oy vey!
     
  12. Mitkraft

    Mitkraft High-Roller

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    I'm having a totally dragging ass morning today and I just wanted to say thanks for sharing and thanks for the good laugh!
     
  13. bswim

    bswim High-Roller

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    I'd imagine this would get very annoying but will you get another opportunity to have this kind of fun?:wink2:
     
  14. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    Yes !
    Now I remember "Vern, the turtle".
    And Vern had his own PLAYER'S CARD !!!!!:thumbsup:
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    This thread is funny !:nworthy:
     
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