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Trip Report #12: BeeeJay's Family Secrets Trial, Shenanigans, & Tomfoolery

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by BeeeJay, May 21, 2009.

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  1. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2008
    Messages:
    7,725
    Location:
    Chicago & Jersey City
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    85

    My Trip Report

    Trip Report #12: BeeeJay's Family Secrets Trial, Shenanigans, & Tomfoolery

    Finally after a long, cold winter, the thaw of spring had arrived. And with that thaw, the annual spring classic representing the renewal of life, the forgetting of vows, and the damaging of livers was upon us.

    Yes once again it was time for that rite of passage from spring to summer, BeeeJay’s Family Vegas vacation, where far from those lonely solo trips, this one was packed CHOCK FULL of relatives, friends old and new, and as always a lot of potential for both embarrassment and imprisonment.

    Luckily for us we made fast friends with Steve, the security guard at the Encore Tower Suites so all was good and the gambling bankroll never became a bail-bond bankroll. So without further ado I present BeeeJay’s Family Secrets Trial, Shenanigans & Tomfoolery.

    For simplicity of understanding, let me start by presenting the group of characters involved in this freakshow:

    BeeeJay
    Borat we'll call him
    Jason & Cheri
    Tanya & Gabe
    Krislin & Jeremie
    Will & Erin
    Eddie & Rebecca

    a lot of friends had to cancel due to layoffs, those who did come seems like brought their wives to make it more salable as a trip. The wives who came are all a blast though so no worries. I will add one caveat---couples tend to be a bad idea on a large group Vegas trip in my opinion. Partially due to fighting when drunk and somewhat due to just doing their own thing and not partying with the group. Certainly that is their prerogative, but why not do that crap back home and at least hang with the buddies the few times you get to see them. Oh well, anyone who is married know you gotta do what you gotta do.

    Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

    Not sure why I didn’t just drive to O’ Hare, probably some cost-benefit of parking vs. limo, but I ended up taking alimo from my home to O Hare and back again. The driver was a d-bag but at least he didn’t talk my ear off like the guy I keep getting in Ft. Lauderdale. So anyway this guy got me there for a reasonable price so whatever.

    Upon arrival at ORD I got inside, and got in line at McDonald’s. Now this McD’s situation is an ABSO-F’ING-LUTE microcosm for what is wrong with our country. First, no one working spoke English….not as a first language not as a second language. I mean that is fine, but at least try to learn the words on the menu.

    Second, some of the order takers got the drinks for people and some didn’t. Third, they were handing out the food in between each line instead of at the end like normal. So basically half the people getting their food hadn’t gotten their coffee. Everyone was all mixed in together like some kind of human puzzle. It was a real freakshow and they totally lost multiple peoples orders including mine.

    I am pretty sure the manager was sick or more likely walked that day cause everyone was clueless and no one in charge. Eventually I got something to eat.

    The flight boarded on time and I had aisle seats on AA, I like the aisle cause I need the extra space. I wouldn’t really say I am necessarily a fat-a$s, but to quote The Breakfast Club, I am definitely pressing maximum density. There are plenty of pics on the video so you can make your own judgement. Anyway I take up my share of space width wise at 6’ 225 lbs. with a hearty appetite. So I can’t deal with the center seat and the window is ok, but the aisle is great although I get banged by that drink cart a few times.

    Thing is if I am sleeping I WANT to get banged by the drink cart so it all works out in the end. On this trip everyone is coming from their separate ways. My Chicago buddy Eddie and his wife caught an even more ungodly earlier flight than my 8:50 so they would be there when I arrived.

    So anyhooo I arrive in Vegas and since I took that craptastic American Airlines instead of Southwest I was at some far flung gate requiring the cattle call tram to baggage claim. This experience was one step above a proctological exam. I waited two cars and finally got on and made my way to baggage, met the driver and we were off for my first visit to Encore Tower Check-In!!!!

    Upon arrival at this little side drive on the way to the self-park at Encore the bellman opened the door and asked if he could help with my bags. Having read about the 90 minute waits for the bellman to show up, I slipped the guy $2 for the door help and said “No thanks I don’t want to wait 90 minutes in my room for my bagsâ€. HAHA. Seriously though, that is precisely what I said.

    Anyway I guess what I read was wrong, or maybe invited guest is different, but the bellman take your luggage and actually wait with it while you check in and then escort you to the room. I got checked in fairly quickly even with a very busy weekend arrival and wanting two rooms near each other, and needing a Queen/Queen room.

    The Tower check-in has a green and gold dominated motif which is a nice change from all the red. Notre Dame fans would probably love it. I found it very relaxing and enjoyable. Being able to use the more convenient tower elevators and having our rooms located on the resort side but just thru the doors that separate the two portions of the hotel was handy. I also enjoyed the added personal service from security and the bellmen, not to mention a closer proximity to Slots-A-Fun!

    I have to say they took great care of me finding us two rooms 5114 and 5115 on high floor, across the hall from each other, with mine a strip view two beds and my sisters a ghetto view king. It was perfect and turned out better than having connectors as those drunk fools would have driven us even more crazy than they did from across the hall!

    I gave a call to my boy Eddie and said the prego wife was getting hungry. We made arrangements to meet for a Wynn buffet and I headed up to the room to unpack. The bellman was incredibly helpful, and even filled my ice bucket which I found out later required an loooong walk to the opposite end of the floor.

    Got unpacked and met Eddie and Becks down at the craps table near the Encore cashier. They wanted to check out Encore as they had decided to cancel here and use a 4-night comp over at TI. I showed them both the Q/Q room and the K, which they liked. We also took the opportunity to check out the “invited guest†lounge for the first time. Man that lounge is really a nice little amenity. They have small pastries, sandwiches, and other munchies. They have two mini fridges, one with soft drinks and juices, the other with beer and actually some small Champagne bottles! But the kicker is in the shelves up top where ironically they keep the “top shelf†liquor. We helped ourselves to Ketel One and Bombay Sapphire throughout the trip. Really a nice and relaxing place. The only pain is they have an “attendant†which looks to be a high-school sophomore (see pics) who sometimes checks red cards for the required star, and occasionally mixes drinks about as well as I did when I was a high school sophomore. By the end of the week we tipped him NOT to make our drinks! Haha.

    Eddie and I tried to negotiate more table time but prego Becks was hungry so it was off to the buffet. SUPER long line at the wynn buffet, but thanks to the “star†we hopped into the invited guest line with a couple jack-toothed Irishmen (also my nickname for my teething baby boy BTW). Buffet was good as usual, ate lite as it was already 12:30pm and Eddie & I had reservations at 5:30 at Botero.

    We decided to go our separate ways as my degenerate slot and craps playing friends had never check into their room---they just started gambling straight off the plane. I had planned to hit the pool at Encore this first day to nap in the afternoon, but it was FREAKISHLY crowded out there so instead I decided to blow about $3,000 in 15 minutes and head back to the room to open up the mini-bar Grey Goose and drown my sorrows. .

    At this point I needed to take a cab down to Luxor to check in and pick up the tickets for the Pacquiao-Hatton fight that night. Nothing memorable here except some lady getting pissed a different person gave her name and picked up her tickets AND the promo chips they gave me are now no longer play til you lose. I won and they took them!!! Just changed at Luxor so now they are scum along with NYNY, Monte Carlo and TI while last I knew Bellagio, Mirage, and Mandalay Bay were still treating these as play until you lose. What a total scumbag way to save money by not telling you your comp value is being lowered in half. Standard MGM-Mirage procedure. I’ll be glad to see these cacksuckers go bankrupt along with Harrahs. In the end it’ll be better for consumers and employees as the replacement smaller ownership entities will have to compete for both. The only winner in the whole monopoly game is the rich mofo’s at the top who can pinch consumers, employees, and suppliers due to their sheer size and market domination. Karma is a beeeeeyotch fellas!

    After picking up my tix I returned quickly to Encore and chilled for a bit until it was time to shower up and get ready for a night on the town! I met Eddie down at the craps table and we headed over to Botero for a fantastic dinner out on the European pool patio. He had the bone-in-ribeye, I had bone-in-filet. Both with the crab add-on and a couple fancy drinks (see that thing in the gold stemmed glass in my pics). For sides we went tater tots, mashed, corn, and maybe asparagus….can’t recall for sure. Either way, food and service were incredibly enjoyable. The staff is so much better than SW its non-comparable. SW is a seen and be soon SNOOT-FEST. Botero is pure dining enjoyment. You want to offer me sparkling water or still? We’ll see if you are offering it when the sparkling bottle is STILL stuffed up you’re a$s snotty SW waiters.

    I can’t really tell the steaks apart at SW vs. Botero, they both seem perfect to me. So after dinner we had a little time to play some craps in Wynn at the table along the walk way near the hosts’ office there. That went well and won back some earlier losses. The best part was before we cashed out, Eddie says hey you are always talking about roulette, why don’t you show me your system real quick. So I explain to him that roulette is a horrible bet and the only system is lose early and often, but yes I do enjoy it and yes I do have a standard bet. So I buy in $300 quick to show him. I spread my usual $100 over 13 numbers with the largest bets being $20 on #17, $10 on #20, #32 and $15 split on the zeros….threw a couple extras out last minute, one $5 chip on #0, #2 and #28, one last chip on #17….BOOM, first roll #17…..$875!!! Cash out….there you go buddy that is how you do it! If you ever get up, get the heck out ASAP!!!

    Based on what I had read online it was best to head over to MGM for the fights around 8:30 as the main event shouldn’t start before 9:30. That turned out to be great advice as with all the traffic we made it just as the final prelim bout was ending.

    Now just let me throw out a quick TOTAL D-BAG SHOUT OUT to my host Brian at the Luxor. Man was I glad I got PO’d about the promo chips and gave them ZERO play because despite Brian’s twice-repeated promise that the fight tickets would be in the front of the back section, they were actually in the literal BACK ROW of the entire MGM-Grand Garden Arena. Now I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I did earn these based on play and he did state a better location. Therefore he is a liar and a scumbag like 95% of vegas casino hosts. These seats were so high that the rafters blocked out view of even the big screens. Regardless we enjoyed out time as “Back Row Ho’s†with the other Luxor VIP’s. And we still were able to really absorb the energy of the live fight. The only thing I could equate the energy to was the 1995 NCAA football championship Orange Bowl I attended. The British fans cheering was really cool (end of my video) and the Pacquaio fans were very nice. It was a great atmosphere and experience.

    After the fight the MGM-Grand was a madhouse, we walked around the labyrinth forever and finally found our way out onto Tropicana (I think) over by Hooters. We walked on the sidewalk up to NYNY where we tried to catch a cab but there was ZERO chance of that. We kept trying to walk up a casino, Monte Carlo, Bellagio, etc…but finally we just said F IT and walked all the way back to TI. I continued to Encore and hit the sack for the night.

    Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

    The big thing today is the arrival of the rest of the crew. My sister and BIL along with her coworkers and their husbands. I had reserved a comp room at Paris for the one girl and her BF so I would need to check into that at some point, but not until afternoon. They were actually arriving around 9am.

    After a few texts from the taxi I met them down at tower check-in where I had a nice discussion with some Filipino’s who were heading out to the golf course after enjoying the fight last night. Very nice guys! Anyway the sister arrived and we headed straight into the invited guest lounge and mixed up cocktails for the group.

    Once we had a little liquor in us we dropped off the stuff in the rooms and all headed out to the pool. Now at this point I had been under the (false) impression that my RFB was limited to $400/day in F&B. Well two rounds of drinks and a few sandwiches at the ungodly overpriced pool burned straight through over $300. And just let me mention what a waste of space the “Chicken Wrap†is at the Encore pool. I thought maybe it was a fluke but Borat had one later on. This $16 atrocity comes with a microscopic amount of chicken, but an excellent dipping sauce. Cheri had a different sandwich one day that looked a lot better, as in she could see meat on it without using the Hubble Space Telescope or even the Electron Microscope she normally reserves for bedroom use! (that’s a shout out to you JASON—HAHA!).

    Additionally we chose kind of bad seats away from the action so our large group could be together. We did make a visit to the European pool area which was fun. The trouble started when my always camera-toting sister started snapping shots with the scantily clad sunbathers and security pointed out the “no pictures†policy. Luckily I missed that confrontation. I did however suffer from so many damn vibrating text messages from my wife to go by her purse that even to this day I am feeling a non-existent “ghost vibration†on my left leg.

    So we headed out and the group all crashed to recover from their very early travel while I ran out to Caesars Forum Shops to grab the wife’s purse, significantly buzzed….the purse snatching was easy…$698 less 25% off coupon plus tax and $30 shipping I believe came to a little under $600.

    By this time I noticed it was close to check-in time and I was close to Paris so WTF I just popped over there and got in line…..first time in a regular check in line this long for a WHILE….man it sucks. The cool thing was two decently hot chicks in swim wear with George Eads (CSI) look-a-like boyfriend but like a foot shorter. I called him out on his twin and the girls shushed me not wanting me to get a big head. They sent him for a round of bloody marys to solve that problem.

    The line moved fast, the counter help was courteous and I was outta there with the keys and a bunch of gay-a$s crap harrah’s coupons: 2% off purchase of a dozen buffets etc etc, 3 cents off a happy ending massage…whatever whatever. Reminds me I just got some mailer from Flamingo last night with similar worst-coupons-ever and a sob story letter about Vegas getting skewered over by the media. HAHA. Regardless of anything Harrah’s could not suck more for table players. For the same play that MGM-Mirage is giving me Penthouses and thousands in promo chips and RFB, Caesars is giving me $5 off the Emporer’s Ball Sweat Spa treatment. F Harrahs and the private equity leveraged buy out one-eyed horse they rode in on.

    Ok so back at the ranch…made my way back to Encore by foot to burn off some drunkenness. The crowd wash still cashed out like a light, gave them their keys. I showered and prepared for 5:30pm Sinatra reservations with Bro-in-law Gabe. Or Gaber as we may call him, or Tsa Tsa Gabor….it all depends on the level of drunkenness. He is the longer haired dude with beard in the pics. He is a hairdresser. Very fun guy and we actually worked together at Sizzler (later converted into a Hooters) before he even met my sister.

    So we arrived at just around opening time and were sat at a nice 2 top over by the window looking out onto the patio dining area with fireplace….looked pretty nice out there but windy enough we were glad to be inside. Obviously the menu was mostly Italian stuff but they had a Filet special which we both ordered along with a couple fancy drinks and some gnocchi. Gaber’s orangish drink with orange peel was literally the second most bitter thing I have ever encountered, my wife being first of course.

    The funniest part of our dinner was an early 60’s couple sitting at a booth/table near us. She spilled the better part of a large goblet of red wine down her white blouse and onto the supple soft off white leather booth. It was so funny like a sitcom as she tried to sop up the wine from her cleavage. They moved to another table and we watched 3-4 dudes of ever increasing stain-removal expertise culminating in literally the Jack Bauer of stain-removal with full ear piece and semi-automatic stain removal weapon water boarded the offending bourdeaux. It worked about as well as water boarding. I am guessing they ordered a re-upholstery at the end of the day cause that white leather was as absorbent as a 1930 desert whore on the Hoover Dam workers payday.

    Anyway the food was nice, not too much, and they did give us each others filets so that was a minor screw up, but it was ok. The filet was the worst of the week, but still in the top 10 I’ve ever had. Dinner wrapped up around 6:40 just enough time for a quick smoke and then off to Le Reve wear Goober and I would look like a couple gay-rods sipping champagne, feeding each other chocolate strawberries, and whispering sweet nothings in each others ears in those plush VIP extravaganza experience chairs or whatever the heck they call it.

    But and this is a VERY BIG BUTT, we did have to stop for that cigarette. And stop we did at Mr. Lucky-All-Week hey now I’m an all-star mutligame video poker machine. As we had limited time I bought in maybe $300 and chose 10-play $1 double bonus supertimespay. A few spins and a few drags in, it appears….DEALT FOUR 4’s!!!!!!! As we all know that is a special “low†card which pays $400 on $1 double bonus for 4OAK, and if you are playing 10-play and get it dealt, well….you get TEN OF THEM!!! So this is viewable in the pics and there is an actual poor quality video clip with live jackpot music from my camera phone on my video montage. The Encore folk got my cash and W-2G in order quickly and I tipped the dude a hundo for the effort and headed off to our show arriving just in time.

    Le Reve was entertaining….I’m not much for shows, but as long as I have drink or in this case Champagne in hand I’m good. We were too full to dent the chocolates but polished the drink by the end. The show had entertaining acrobatics and a good easy to follow story line. I like that its not too long, maybe 70 minutes, just about as much culture as one slob couch potato like me can take.

    So after Le Reve we meet up with the sister and co-workers and hubbies all of whom are blitzed beyond recognition. Totally wasted. We hang in the room for a couple drinks and a few inappropriate pictures. Eventually Eddie calls and is ready for some craps after wrapping up dinner and putting his prego to bed over at TI. We meet up at Encore for some craps, buy in $500 lose in like 3 minutes, buy in $500 and start hitting hard ways like crazy and suddenly have like $2K. This was a recurrent theme and even worse than the hard ways were the $25 straight up hi-lo’s for $700 a pop.

    Eddie and I finish our turns to roll and we meet up with Tanya and Gabe as around 11pm the other couples have headed to their hotels---Bally’s and Paris----for scenery and “wildlife funâ€. Around this time Jason and Cheri have arrived and begin texting so we agree to meet over at the Blush VP machines which is our standard spot. Tanya and Gabe are struggling at this point but follow us…they need to sit down so we stop and play craps at Wynn in front of the cashier area. Again a repeat performance of winning with bad bets and a solid cash out. Speaking of cashed out, T&G are sitting at a slot machine nearly passed out as Jason texts he is on his way from the room. Well they couldn’t make it so T&G headed off to bed and would have to meet Jason and Cheri the next day.

    Eddie met Jason and Cheri and then excused himself to go tend to prego and the three of us hit our favorite Blush VP machines. Cheri seemed pretty tired from the travel and nothing exciting was happening on VP. With golf the next day we agreed to call it a night so Jason/Cheri headed to their rooms and I crashed back at Encore.

    Monday, May 4th, 2009

    My day started earlier than I wished for two reasons. #1 was my wife texting and then calling about some car issues. #2 was my sister up early hearing that conversation with my wife and deciding I was awake. The wife’s tirade was an ESPN Instant Classic….it is not presentable here in its original form but here is the cleaned up version and believe me the F’s were all full-on versions:

    I am done. My mother f’g c&&k sucking piece of f’g $heet van did not start this morning. Won't even the f’k turn the f’k over. I need a mother f’g car that starts on a f’g regular f’g basis. Im getting that mother f’g piece of $heet fixed driving it the f’k to Car Max and taking what the f’k they wil give me. Then I am taking that money and either getting something that works, moving across the street from a school and grocery store and mall or using the money to pay for a cab every where that will be more depnedable than that f’g piece of $heet I f’g have. Are your f’g keys anywhere? It is f’g dangerous to have 3 kids and no f’g dependable f’g transportf’gtation. I am f’g pissed beyond motherf’g belief.

    This venom pretty much rotates between anything and anyone in her path on a day to day basis. Perhaps this helps explain why I go to Vegas so often.

    Despite the early awakening at 6:15 Vegas time, I wasn’t too upset as we had a round of golf scheduled and my buddy “Borat†from Phoenix was arriving, hadn’t seen him since partying in Lincoln mid-90’s so this should be fun. I met up with Borat at the tower suites entrance, gave him his personalized key and headed up to the room where I left him to unpack while I went down to Avis to get the rental car keys for the vehicle we would use to get out to Coyote Springs.

    When I arrived at the Avis counter I was unfortunately behind some foreign d-bags who reminded me of that SNL skit 2 a---hole$. They were taking forever and making no progress, than the chick lost her credit card and accused the lady of still having it. Luckily she was smoking hot so I had been watching her closely and noticed her put it in her wallet. I told her exactly where it was and she left. Apparently their credit card rental car insurance wouldn’t cover US as they were Brazilian and they didn’t want to pay the xtra $85 or whatever. Sooooo the upshot of this for me was that for $10 extra I got a Cadillac Escalade instead of a Toyota Highlander! I told the lady that brazilian chick didn’t need a car cause I would be happy to drive her around FOR FREE! Anyway The Boyz were about to be headed outta the hood in CLASS!!!

    Barrett and I loaded up the clubs and headed to meet the other guys….Eddie and Jason. Once meeting up with Jason, Eddie still wasn’t there. We ended up finding rolling at a craps table in Wynn with his golf clubs at the table! Now that we had all 4 of us together we grabbed some comp sandwiches at Zoozacrackers, a cooler full of drinks at Walgreens, and headed for the course.

    The AVIS “never-lost†GPS was totally worthless and it took us forever to get on the 15N. I had my own GPS but the lighter didn’t work. We had some half-a$s directions anyway and the GPS didn’t have this place on it at all regardless. About 45 minutes later we finally got out to the true middle of no where.

    For $100 at The Chase at Coyote Springs you basically get the whole package…golf, carts, sodas, water, Gatorade, they just don’t have any food yet so its BYO and we had luckily read this online in advance hence our sandwiches.

    So there was no one out here at all and the course was absolutely gorgeous. We putted a little, didn’t hit any balls at all and headed to the first tee. We set our game as follows: 2-man team scramble skins. So it was Borat-Beeejay against Jason-Eddie. Now last time I had golfed with Borat in 1995 on the 18th hole he had bladed a chip over the green, off my calf muscle, and back within about 20 feet of the pin. Given that he is now a golf course superintendent I assumed he had improved. I was wrong.

    The painful memories of the Titleist tattoo on my leg returned quickly as he block-sliced his shot off the first tee. I scanked something down the fairway so we were ok, but when Jason stepped up and hit an effortless high cut 300 down the middle I knew we were royally screwed.

    We started out ok, and the fact the big hitters could not hit a green from inside 100 yards ever with two shots helped matters. Eventually under the pressure I started pressing. As Borat filled the right side rock garden with golf balls on every tee I started hitting a pull hook instead of a pull cut. A few double bogeys later (not good in a 2-man scramble) and we were down 4 or 5 on the skins and 6 strokes on the game.

    We decided to change up our order and go rally cap, also at this point I realized and self corrected my ball position issue and moved it back about 6 inches in my stance. Just one of those errors playing 3 rounds a year will lead to—poor alignment. After that we were in the fairway every hole, and even though we were behind those guys as my standard shot is a weak cut that only goes maybe 240, the holes we short so we kept ending up with 140 yds in which is perfect 8 iron yardage. I hit 3 or 4 of those on the green, a couple within 10 feet yielded birdies….and when Borat finally hit the chip of his life we were back in the game.

    Our competition was out of the hole but still up quite a few stokes on the side game when we hit a shot into what we thought was a green side bunker. Well we get up there and its in deep grass on a severe downslope behind the bunker, with no green to work with and although the green was flat, the pin was on a small ledge with an Augusta size swale beyond….go short your in the bunker, go long its 60 feet down this buried elephant. Literally the biggest swale I’ve ever seen except maybe on a Pete Dye Course “FireThorn†in Nebraska. No big deal we are lying 2 and these jokers are lying 4 100 yds out in the fairway. Well then Jason hits his first none bladed full sand wedge of the day which lands 15 feet behind the hole, about a foot from swale disaster but spins back to about 6 inches, almost went in. They are in for 5 damn it now we have to get up and down to win.

    I hit first and catch it perfect and by aiming left am able to keep it in the far fringe about 25 feet. Still probably just a tie which I am actually feeling ok about now as opposed to a 3 putt 6 from down the swale. I am not really even thinking about Borat’s shot. Well he hits it lower than me, but catches one bounce in the deep rough on the greenward side of the bunker which not only slows the ball down but also bounces it up and a higher trajectory, it lands in the fringe about 15 feet from the cup and rolls, still fast enough it would probably barely catch the swale and be gone, but directly towards the pin. SMACK!!! It hits the pin dead center and drops!!! We win the hole (I believe I have a pic of this scorecard on my facebook link).

    Anyway we got within 1 stroke and ahead on the skins with 2 holes to play. We blew it with two bogeys to finish the round, but tied the skins 9-9 and lost the stroke play 83-80.
    We had been playing a dollar a hole per man, and the best line of the day was someone asking if the other guys had $2 because the way we were playing we were gonna need $2 change for a $20 at the end.

    We wrapped up the round, I picked up a pink golf shirt with “The Chase†PGA Logo on it and we headed back for the Encore. The course was well worth the drive and price in comparison to Wynn for $500 or other over-priced over-hyped courses in Vegas. I would definitely do it again, although if I can find anyone else willing to pay $500 to play Shadow Creek with me I would do that in a heartbeat. Speaking of Shadow, we got on the Tower Suites elevator at Encore with our clubs and this guy asks where we played, I said the Chase and how awesome it was. He said he just played Shadow and it lived up to the hype. His voice sounded familiar so I took a closer look and it was Ashton Kutcher…huh…crazy. Anyway he was probably pissed we didn’t ask him to take some gayrod Canon Smartshot pic or something but honestly I was too tired to think about anything but a shower and a vodka-red bull. Sorry dude!

    It must have been 7:30 or 8 by this point and our dinner reservation wasn’t until 10 so we crashed in golf clothes, me with golf glove STILL in back pocket until about 9. Hit the showers and Borat and I headed down to SW Steakhouse for our 10pm reservation. They were a little backed up so we spent like $70 on two double grey goose-red bulls at the bar while talking smack with some LA natives and watching the Lakers trounce my Houston Rockets until our table was ready.

    We had a decent table, not great, just outside but in the traffic pattern. It was fine. The service was the standard d-bag SW where they are pissy if you don’t get still or sparkling water or wine. I was assertive so dillweed waiter knew I had been there, I knew what I wanted, and no d-bag treatment would be tolerated.

    I went with the larger Filet and crab oscar style, Borat went bone-in-whatever and we had some tuna for an appetizer---excellent and 3 or 4 sides which always causes those idiots to make some off cuff comment. It could not be more obvious they are graded on “add-on†sales of drinks, appetizers, and desserts like many restaurants. I hate that crap. After the food I ordered the still water and the dude laughed I said I wanted to throw him a bone so he could win the “still water†sales contest for the night. I will say SW was better than last time, but I’m over the stupid lake of dreams and with Botero as a better option, I won’t be back to SW unless it is to haze the living hell out of the waiters.

    Well as luck would have it while we were out at dinner all the couples had gone their own ways included T&G who allegedly passed out in the Encore casino and were escorted by Steve from security back to their rooms. The last man standing was Jason so Barrett and I headed with him over to Palazzo for some gambling. Can’t remember a whole lot about this except my comeback was temporarily derailed by dropping $800 in about 5 minutes at a roulette table full of extremely drunk people including us! ;)

    At this point I was rat-holing most of my cash in the safe and trying to only take out $1,000 at a time with no cards so I could stay up for the trip. I was up $5,000 to $5,500 in this time period, not sure exactly but I know I didn’t want to go below $5K so I was going to bed earlier than I wanted and leaving this dudes to their own devices. Well as I walked back from Palazzo towards Encore it is difficult not to do so without passing the infamous Blush video poker bank. And walking past this area with $200 burning a hole in my wallet and an ever decreasing buzz proved damn near impossible. So I stopped off and poked in my $200 and ordered a drink.

    Wouldn’t you know it, double bonus was good to me and bestowed 4 deuces (see pics)in relatively short order….I decided at this point due to the fact I was so severely overcomped and my sister was passed out sick anyway that we would forego the next days planned spa treatments and dinner at Switch so I might as well get wasted as all hell and blow through this $550 or whatever I head after the $400 4OAK.

    Well guess who shows up? Jason! He says “you lying sack of shhitte!, I knew you weren’t going to bedâ€â€¦..yeah I had to drown my roulette sorrows you know. So we played for a while with no real bad results, Jason as usual seemed to me to be getting an inordinate amount of 4 to the royals and then getting always a flush which is nice, but not a royal…..also seemed to be getting plenty of full houses while I was going like 10-12 hands without a pair over 5’s.

    After a while of crappy drink service J-Dog decides to call it a night, I am basically pressing buttons in that trance-like late night mode the designers of video poker likely envisioned. Jason taps me on the back and says “goodnight, hope you hit a royalâ€â€¦.he walks 3 steps and I yell in a the most serious of tones---“JASON!!!â€â€¦..he comes back and yes…..THE ROYAL HAS HIT! 3 clubs dealt, the other 2 drawn and the JACKPOT $4000 flashing on the screen. WOOOOOOOO F’N HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BABEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    And we had just been discussing how we must have played the requisite 41,000 hands between us and Cheri on all these trips without a royal, at least on single play. Anyway Jason hit the bricks. I tried to get a check from Wynn, but of course they had some BS reason to give me cash as they plotted to rob my room safe. Well I didn’t spend it and they didn’t get it!

    So feeling a burst of energy I wonder what the heck happened to Borat. I give a call and he is in the Encore casino, I say come over here. By the time I am paid and tip the ladies he isn’t there so I start to walk to Encore and call him from the encore shopping esplanade….he answers…sounds like in a bathroom….says he is busy.

    Ok so I figure he is over in Encore washroom. I head in there look around a bit….nada. Figure I’ll stop over at the craps table and if he goes to the room he’ll see me or I’ll see him passing. Well of course I go on a monster roll and win another $1,000. At this point its been about 45 minutes and it is around 5am. Knowing T&G are cashed out early and will probably be waking me up in an hour I am headed to bed regardless of where Borat is.

    Well, well well isn’t Mr. Borat a little snake in the grass!?!? I get up to the room and open it and the chain is up! Son of a beeeotch! Dudes got a lady in there. Well lady or not I am done and whatever went on in there she was in the bathroom getting dressed anyway so they let me in and she hid in the bathroom…..I caught a glimpse of her on the way out and the face I barely caught was ok, but the body was OUTSTANDING! Nice work Borat!!! A little relieved it wasn’t one of the wives from the group to be honest…haha just kidding!

    OK so right away I am like duuuuude waz up?!?! He was drunk walked out of Palazzo and this chick followed him back to Encore where she “advised†him as he won and then lost various amounts of money on blackjack. Eventually they came back up to the room where this young lady who we will give a short and easy nickname----“The Nutcracker†had given Borat a couple of partial HJ’s with no conclusion shall we say. Haha. I say “dude wear is your walletâ€â€¦..he can’t find it ….yeah big surprise there! Then he does find it, empty of course…..haha. but in the end it was only $50 so maybe that was why the partiality occurred, $50 is only good for a downpayment. Well too bad the thief had been so shy I showed up with plenty of cash….about $5K!

    Anywho we hit the hay after I stuff the safe, had finally barely exceed the $10K mark so I was fairly happy drifting off in fits of laughter as Mr. Blew Balls took 1 aspirin for his headache and 1 aspirin for his other headache. ;)

    I’ve got to say from Borat’s once in a lifetime chip-in to the late night royal to “The Nutcracker†that was one HELL of a day!

    Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

    Now at this point I had checked the bill and was like double my comp limit so I was planning to cut back this day. I called in first thing and cancelled the Switch reservations and Spa with my sister as she had basically not left her room in a while sick from earlier the last night. I went back to sleep for a couple hours until of course the wife called and the sister was up. Here at Gaber were up for some breakfast after a while not eating and so just the three of us headed down to McD’s while everyone else was still sleeping. I saw the double big mac on the big screens and was hoping for that but it must have been like 10:50 or something so I was forced to go with 2 old school breakfast burritos, 2 hash browns, and of course 2 souvenier Vegas McD’s shirts for the kids…oh and perhaps a jumbo diet coke.

    Got back from this fiasco and everyone went back to sleep, I checked the bill again on the TV and lo and behold ALL HAD BEEN REMOVED BUT TIPS!!! WOOOO HOOOO so I decided to grab a spot by the pool as it was like 11:30, wasn’t too busy and I was able to get 4 seats together by the regular pool. I called and Borat, Jason, and Cheri met up with me a while later. They had lunch at the pool and we enjoyed some comped drinks now that the tab was reset for the day!

    We drank it up good, I headed in one time for a little craps in my flip flops and then we hit the outdoor $15 BJ table hard. This went just crazy well for me. Started upping the bets and went from $500 to $1,500 on the session which doesn’t happen too often. I think my largest bets were $105. It was really a good time and it was getting hot so we dipped into the pool and hot tub in between during shuffles. Jason got comped some nice cigars so all was well with the world.

    T&Gaber came down a couple times but still weren’t feeling to well so spent a lot of time back up in the room. I am not sure what was going on in there but there were some odd facebook posts and some chunks in the water closet so that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

    Borat was feeling a bit woozy so he had that crappy chicken wrap. Or should we say no chicken wrap. He needed a little grease so we wrapped up blackjack and headed down for OH NO…my 2nd MCD’S of the day!!! While being RFB at Encore!!! A Sin I know, but anyway Big Mac no lettuce for BeeeJay and Double QPC for Borat…not sure how he is still such a skinny bastard but oh well he is like 8 years younger than me.

    Also I did complain long and loud in my drunken state about the false advertising double big mac on the video screens and they acted like they had no clue what I was talking about bastards! I did research later and find that it is only available in other countries so whatever….i am working about a mile from Hamburger U and McD’s corporate in Oakbrook tomorrow so maybe I should head over there and crack some skulls!

    Anyway after lunch we planned to grab some sleep, I stopped by the hosts office at Encore to set up a late checkout. The conversation between me and standard Guido D-bag Host (which is part of why I LOVE my host) went like this:

    BeeeJay---“I need to get a late checkout for tomorrowâ€
    Guido Sarduci’s Grandson---“What timeâ€
    BeeeJay---“My limo is for 3pmâ€
    Guido----“ooooh sorry there’s nothing I can do, would have to charge you for ½ dayâ€
    BeeeJay---“dude we both know that’s not trueâ€
    Guido---fake dials phone, “ok, doneâ€
    BeeeJay---shakes hand, “thank you sir, really appreciate it†(which is the exact same thing I say to my wife after she blows me).

    So Borat and I go lights out up in the room and 3 hrs seems like about 5 minutes. Not that either of us couldn’t have slept the full 24 hrs until leaving but it was the last night out and the whole group was going to make an honest attempt to go out as a group.

    We met as planned at 9pm at the lounge in Encore right by the pool---Eastside Lounge I think. Anyway it really is very nice spot to enjoy a round of comped drinks. It was BeeeJay, Borat, Will, Erin, Gaber (Tanya was still indisposed in the room), Jason, and Cheri. While it was our last night W&E and J&C where all leaving the 7th so we decided to go on a tour of Harrah’s freebies that these guys were checking into for their last two nights as well at NYNY where Jason and Cheri had a promo chip offer. On the way to Imperial Palace Eddie called us so we met him along the way, I believe actually not until we got to Bally’s.

    We played some $1 roulette at IP while Jason checked into his “LUUV TUB†room. Finally after Will and Erin went up to the SNAKE BAR to get drinks the cocktail waitress took our order so Borat and I got two RB Vodkas. The funny thing was how many times I legitimately said SNAKE BAR in my tired and drunken state until Erin corrected me that it was indeed the SAKE BAR---hilarious they all had a great chuckle at my expense and well deserved I have to admit.

    Once Jason had the keys we headed up and viewed the coin-op ice machine ripping of an oriental woman, we had a cig on the 2 man balcony enjoying the smell of trash and spitting to see how the wind affected the spit. Then we got a pic of the boys in the “luv tub†which came pre-stocked with one long curly pube and some blue lube I believe.

    It was nice to see so I never consider staying anywhere but Encore. So our next stop was Will & Erin’s upgraded room at Bally’s…now while they dogged this place it REALLY wasn’t that bad….plus they had their ipod docking thing and Bacardi!!! So we had a drink there before they headed off for a late dinner and the other five of us walked over to NYNY.

    We wanted to grab a drink and hit the restroom while Jason checked in at VIP so we hit high limit which has super fast drink service and really nice rest rooms, as well as having the cashier cage open this night. So while the dudes are hitting the washroom I sit down and ten play and second hand hit a 4OAK jacks. Cash out enjoy drink and Jason is back so we headed over to the craps table nearby. Now I had only brought out $500 and I blew $350 at IP so had only like $275 left after the 4OAK…played conservatively and poorly at craps losing about half my money before I went to take a “leakâ€â€¦the kind of “leak†that requires a 4 digit PIN and gives out $500.

    Now that I was back with a stake I bet crazy as usual. The lady rolling rolled a monster and I believe Eddie accused me of having a horseshoe up my ass. I cashed out up $700 by the time Jason returned and we went to check out the room.

    There was a dude passed out in a chair on by the elevator. The room was actually really cool, with all this little hidden alcoves, my kids would have loved playing forts in there. It was decent size also for NYNY. When we left the security guard was all over the jock of that guy who was sleeping and it was getting pretty ugly.

    We were getting hungry and Eddie was needing to get back to TI so we cabbed it back and went to grab some food at the Encore version of a coffee shop, Café Society I think. Anyway no dice there or anywhere else at Wynn for that matter except the Café at the Drug Store in Wynn. We got some food and ate there…Jason and Cheri I believe headed back up to their room to eat. The chicken panini I had was manageable. Barrett and I were cashed out so we headed back up to the room.

    I counted the cash and was now up $11,700 for the trip! I VERY NICE turn around from $3,000 down in the first few hours. Of course the state of Illinois will get their cut with there stupid AGI starting point. Off to sleep with the freedom to sleep in with late checkout and late flight felt great. We had made plans to meet Jason and Cheri at the Wynn Buffet at 10am so that was our only morning obligation.

    Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

    Borat and I got up in time to meet J&C at the buffet, hopped the line with invited guest and enjoyed one of my favorite breakfast buffets. Great breakfast pizza, cheese blintzes and pretty much everything else….the potato things were my absolute fave and I think I had 4 or 5 of those. The drink service sucked as we got our drinks when we were about done eating.

    After breakfast I got my sister and Gaber checked out of their room and her coworker out of Paris with no hitches. Barrett and I then headed down to the pool to kill the last couple hours with Jason and Cheri.

    Now here is where things started to unravel and could REALLY have gone astray. I couldn’t really get down that first drink so I ordered a diet coke and just pounded it, but after I pounded it I was ready for more. So we had quite a few more and enjoying the free boobie shows and hotties at the pool we lost track of time. Our limo was set for 3:00 and we had to pack, looked at the watch and it was 2:15….gonna be a little tight if I take a shower, which I would like to before getting on a plane.

    Well Borat and I got this kokamami idea about staying another day…now thank god I had low play and my host wasn’t in or we would have done something stupid. We actually checked with the hosts and best they could do was casino rate so we hustled outta there. Man my wife would have KILLED ME!

    Anyway Limo dropped us at the airport, I got my Burger King---usual stop at the Vegas airport. Tipped the BK chick a $5 Wynn TITO I had forgotten about and headed back to reality---SLAP!!!

    Now a few of you may have read about my plans to “retire†after this trip. Well at that time I had expected a tougher work schedule, but indeed it turns out I am only working 40 hrs/week and four 10’s at that so 4-day weekends are possible. This has combined with my wife’s attitude of late and Steve Wynn’s attitude in a conspiracy with the diabolical force of hot chicks texting and emailing me wanting to go to Vegas. Specifically Bellagio, Palazzo both still have great offers which I had expected to dry up, and Encore seems to be thinking I deserve one last chance at RFB due to the length of my play history. Additionally those $109/night Encore room specials are hard to say no to.

    Soooo retirement is over and a late June solo trip for 3 nights at Encore on that non-casino marketing special code is reserved, along with a late July trip where I am using the RFB to entertain a couple lovely young ladies I met on a return flight from Vegas earlier this year, and finally an August 4-night on the $109 rate again with Jason and Cheri. So it won’t be long before the sequel to one of my most fun trips ever comes around!!!

    Hope you enjoyed the report and here are pics and video links:


    PICS

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=250875&id=808410503

    http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=bh0jbjm3.bu5o8lsz&x=0&y=-jhtaj9&localeid=en_US


    VIDEO

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCKiAqBW6NE&feature=email
     
  2. gotavegasjones

    gotavegasjones VIP Whale

    Joined:
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    Thanks for the post.

    later, GVJ
     
  3. thestugot

    thestugot Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2006
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    Chicago
    I almost choked laughing at the picture of you with your pants around your ankles by the statue of a row of dancers. Where is that statue? I'll have to get one like that myself.
     
  4. 7beasley

    7beasley Guest

    Fun post...and great pictures!

    Geez - you are living the life...I love it! And your lucky wife must have about 20 coach bags by now.

    Keep the reports coming - I can live as a high-roller vicariously through you!

    ~Nicole
     
  5. ghetto71

    ghetto71 Tourist

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    Nice TR!:peace:
     
  6. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

    Joined:
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    Chicago & Jersey City
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    Riviera Crazy girls, right out in front of the Riv. That was my sisters coworkers BF actually. haha.
     
  7. KimberlyJ

    KimberlyJ Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Are you in any of those picturers? I always imagine you as some hot-looking high-roller living the rock star life.
     
  8. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    i am in the pics but not the hot looking high roller haha....i'm the regular dude in the golf shirts most of the time....in these pics I have a black shirt,green shirt a purple shirt, look like a little preppy bitch probably...if you look in those videos I am in a lot of pics there.....
     
  9. KimberlyJ

    KimberlyJ Low-Roller

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    O.K~ I'm off to check out the pics again. I'll look for the preppy dude.
     
  10. DonD

    DonD Super Moderator

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    BeeeJay, you are a winner even before you make a bet! :evillaugh
     
  11. Hoopswife

    Hoopswife Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    I wish I would have timed how long that took me to read, but I DID NOT want it to end. Fab report my friend. I hope Tanya (I think that was her name) was able to enjoy some of her trip. Sounds like when I was pregnant, which I wont be repeating. I laughed out loud several times inm your report. Love the writing style. Very good stuff. Thanks for taking the time. I thoroughly enjoyed it!! and you need to thank your wife ! I would have said hell with the van, put the title under the windshield wiper and signed off and bought a new car before you got back. But Im bitchy like that. :evillaugh
     
  12. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    she is too, but she is cheap bitchy....i could have showed up with a new Escalade, and i did consider showing up with a new Acura MDX since I had the downpmt on me, but I know she would have nut jacked me for that.
     
  13. Hoopswife

    Hoopswife Low-Roller

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    Like i said, thank your wife! I am expensive bitchy. haha
    and I can't even imagine what coach would have to do for a nut jacking. Too funny.
     
  14. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

    Joined:
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    Very enjoyable read!!!!

    Thanks!

    (Suspect it was more fun to live it than it was to read it though. :beer: )
     
  15. teambeam

    teambeam Tourist

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    Beeejay...you have changed my way of thinking!

    Normally, I expect to go to Vegas for a good time and gambling, but never with much expectaion to come out ahead...TIL THIS YEAR....his last couple of trip reports have transformed me from Doubting Thomas to Positive Tom....both thinking-wise AND profit-wise:evillaugh....

    Thanks bunches bart.....
     
  16. KimberlyJ

    KimberlyJ Low-Roller

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    I totally agree with you . . . I always looked at the money I lost as my "entertainment expenses." Now I want to be a big winner!

    When's your next trip Beejay? Maybe we can follow you around and take notes! :nworthy:
     
  17. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

    Joined:
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    trips reserved for:

    June 19-22
    Encore, TI, PH, Gold Coast

    July 24-27
    Encore, Bellagio

    August 24-28
    Encore, Luxor


    if you enjoy the trip reports you may be interested in the following:

    http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/confessions-of-a-highroller-wannabeee/7199583

    the miniscule proceeds (if any) will be used for a future MONSTER bet (assuming they are at least $3) to be decided by a poll posted before each upcoming BeeeJay trip.
     
  18. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    well you know I have been getting lucky as hell, right? there is really no good strategy to win, except a lot of times I'll "walk while I'm ahead" and do a lot of hit and run play. That shouldn't help long term but it seems to work short term. if i could just learn to cut myself off when I'm running bad.

    also you might recall i lost $3,000 in the first few minutes of that last trip, if I hadn't had a large bankroll I would have been SOL.

    all that said I hope you kick 'em in the nuts next trip!
     
  19. teambeam

    teambeam Tourist

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    TYVM................
     
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