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TR: A tale of one city, a degenerate trip report.

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Phrantic, Feb 18, 2013.

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  1. Phrantic

    Phrantic Tourist

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2011
    Messages:
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    Trips to Las Vegas:
    20

    My Trip Report

    A tale of one city.... A degenerate trip report.

    Howdy folks,

    After reading the trip reports from Natedog, Squidward and my fellow Toronto-ish canuck The Infamous Royal Flusher it was almost mandatory that I share our latest adventure from the proper city of lights. A little background here. I usually am a low-key typical hockey watching, beer/scotch drinking, Wynn staying VP and roulette player, however this trip was with my colleagues. We're all a bunch of dudes on a specialized law enforcement team working at Toronto international airport, so you can imagine the personalities. The trip was as such:

    - Staying 5 nights around the strip and to maximize and use all comps available at all MGM locals and no play them in return for Natedog!
    - To attempt to experience downtown Vegas for the first time properly with sneering old hawaiian ladies and Kelly the bartender.
    - To attempt to hit multiple handpays in the same trip on both high-limit slots and VP!

    So here we go...:

    Day 0.

    With the trip being planned, arranged and discussed for a couple months ahead of time, the day before we were to leave was torture. My pal Shorty and I were supposed to take off on the morning Air FU Canada flight at 8:45am the next day and we had just started work on the night shift. All dressed in uniform, holding our gats in our hand, looking at each other with such Vegas longing that only two heterosexual men can share with each other that we said, "F it." and ran upstairs to departures. We then threaten, bribe, beg, cry, laugh hysterically and pretend to seize the aircraft itself in order to get the Air Canada rep to change our tickets to leave that night. Of course being degenerates we have our suitcases in the office ready to go just incase something like this were to happen. After about 20 minutes of the rep being on the phone and a mandatory change fee applied, (Yes, no perks here in Toronto folks), we were confirmed on the 8:45pm departure that night! I make a quick phone call to the Aria and get them to add on an extra night to our reservation and a quick call to the wife saying that we're involved in a deep cover assignment for the evening and i'll call her from Vegas tomorrow! She'll never know! She reads this forum though... hmm... Anyways, we check-in, drop the bags, head to the lounge for some free Harp beer on tap and text our K-9 officer Ange whom already is in Vegas waiting for us that we're arriving a night early.

    Flight was uneventful, had 4 scotch and snored the whole way down.... Shorty watched a couple romantic comedies. He claims Clint has never been the same since 'The Bridges of Madison County'.

    We arrived on time, hopped in a cab and booted it along Swenson to the strip. A quick 20 to the cabbie, including tip, we entered into the vanilla scented casino smiling from ear to ear. Thinking I had just conquered the gods themselves to get here a night early I hear a loud baritone voice scream out "Hey you a$$holes! Aboot time ya showed yerselves up!" Ange in all his glory meets us in the lobby. Imagine a 6'4" tall, white guy of greek decent, who wears small t-shirts for his x-large frame and with a Northern Ontario accent and you have our friend Ange. I go check in for 3 nights with two of them comp'd. We get a basic room with two queens. Perfect for our requirements. We drop off the bags and head over to the Monte Carlo for some very eager and degenerate drinking. It's a tradition that we hit up Andre's for a cigar and scotch when we get together but when we got there, it was closed! For shame! so we decide to sit at the bar below and start drinking.

    The bartender Joe, nice guy from Iowa, is immediately innundated with requests from the three of us hoolighans. I start with a Tom Collins, Shorty with a makers mark and Ange with a beer and it continues this way for about two hours.... finally after the gin catches up with me I decide it would be a fantastic idea to start drinking 18 year old McCallen. Shorty is on board and Ange is too enamoured with his relfection in the granite counter to disagree with the 30 dollar drinks. Joe, climbs the ladder, brings down the fancy bottle, and gets out these really nice highball glasses... to which I scream out "SHOTS!". Joe, whom later claims he has never had anyone shoot 18 year old McCallen simply laughs and agrees and the three of us and downing 3-4 shots each of the glorious scotch in 30 minutes.

    Feeling the effects of chasing gin with scotch it's time to gamble. I go find a roulette table just packed with hot asian girls. I turn into the Canadian Casanova and hit a tear teaching the numbers game to these 3 girls in my immediate vacinity. While doing that, the other two guys start wandering around and I lose track of them until about 25 minutes later I see to my left, on one of those dancing stages that the girls use to shake 'their thang', a Michael Jackson impersonater... really not doing a poor job at all until Ange starts scream singing 'Billy Jean' at the blackjack table across the asile. I grab up my chips, tell the ladies that "Ya him over there... I'm so proud of him, i'll be right back." go get Ange before he's climbing to get on stage himself and have a dance-off with the professional. Shorty says the magic words of "Let's go get a pie" (pizza to those non-canucks) and gets Ange's attention away from doing any permenant damage to the stage infrastructure. We go to the Monte Carlo food court and the booze is really starting to hit us all hard... we grab some slices and decide to head back over to the Aria to crash. Ange heads up to his room at the Carlo, Shorty and I head back to the Aria. Before I leave the Carlo decide to grab some clamato and buds for the drink of the morning at the sundries spot... beer and clamato, gotta love it. Shorty kept going to the Aria and I'd meet him there. When I was stumbling out of the sundires shop two of the three asian girls were there and struck up a conversation. They asked me if I would be a gentleman and walk them to their room.... in my drunken logic I thought that would be a fantastic idea and that my wife would commend me of helping two lost souls find there way. So I do, we get there, they invite me in, I say I can't I gotta go get back to my own room. They on queue turn into these lusty Sirens and one begs me to come in and help them get into bed while the other reaches for the package! I bolt! No words, no waiting, just running with a six back of bud in my left arm and a bottle of tomato juice in the other. I make it back to the Aria, out of breath and convinced that I lost them along the way.... I would only know for sure tomorrow......

    TBC!

    p.s. a couple photos attached of some quick VP quads (both Q's!) while wandering around the Monte Carlo before getting started in the festivities. More photos to come later!
     

    Attached Files:

  2. CaptainJack

    CaptainJack Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    That walkway of shops between Aria and MC is hooker-central, especially after hours. There's a reason they call it the Street of Dreams.
     
  3. Tbone3336

    Tbone3336 VIP Whale

    Joined:
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    Great start so far. Looking forward to more! Thanks for remembering and writing all this up, much appreciated!
     
  4. blackjacker2

    blackjacker2 Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Crikey, I can't wait to hear how the rest of the trip goes. You have me 'hooked' already (no pun intended!)

    that gambling after heavy drinking, built the city, so you take care
     
  5. gongoman

    gongoman MIA

    Joined:
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    Long Beach,In
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    :beer::beer:
     
  6. mike_m235

    mike_m235 Tourist

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2012
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    Location:
    Colorado Springs
    Trips to Las Vegas:
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    Shots of Macallan 18...I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
     
  7. RAWDAWG33

    RAWDAWG33 Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Kinda screams " like a boss " IMO

    Great start to this TR. Ready for more
     
  8. Dpin300

    Dpin300 Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2012
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    Las Vegas
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    So I do, we get there, they invite me in, I say I can't I gotta go get back to my own room.

    Damn this. More single men should write TR's!

    Anyway thanks so far, keep it comin' :thumbsup:
     
  9. sporty8705

    sporty8705 VIP Whale

    Joined:
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    SOunds like a great trip
     
  10. Smo

    Smo Mr. Las Vegas

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2012
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    6 Hours from Vegas
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    Great! Now you got me wanting to go to the Monte Carlo for some roulette and Hello Kitty hand bags. :evillaugh
     
  11. Phrantic

    Phrantic Tourist

    Joined:
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    Day 1

    I awoke on top of the bed shivering in all my clothes from the night before, mouth feeling like a bingo hall and really no idea on how I got back to the room. I looked over and saw Shorty wide awake, no hangover, eating eggs and bacon out of some styrofoam container and drinking a beer with clamato. Say hello the only way a man knows how to at that time in the morning, with a forceful grunt. Once I figure out that I'm still alive I ask Shorts where he found a take-out place at the Aria. He said Ange brought that over around 5am and he had no idea where it came from, but it tasted fantastic. He also said Ange was in our throne room defiling our porcelin.... wonderful... just when I needed to brush the teeth. The two of them had plans for the day doing some fancy gun shop shooting and visiting the Shelby plant close-by. I opt'ed out to spend my valuble time doing something completely more degenerate.... Gambling.

    So I get all cleaned up eventually, check my bankroll for the night before and today, only 20 bucks missing so I must have done alright while drunk-ish. Take an easy grand, all my players cards and head out on the city solo with a red cup of bud and clamato.

    First stop: Aria's players club for my 200 in freeplay. They add it on the card no problem and i'm off to find some slots.... yes slots. I had read about this slot machine where one can win hundreds of free games and sit for hours drinking and making money while doing nothing but waiting... sounded like my kind of game. I go on the hunt and find it: 'China Shores Xtra Rewards'. I spend the next 45 minutes blowing through the freeplay betting various amounts and getting about 80 out of the 200 back without any real free spin actions. It's close to noon now, and I look around. I'm by myself, the CW has been timely with the coffee and bailey's combo, so why not finish off the last 80 in the machine and hope for the best. Nothing. Frikkin MGM! I'm out of here on behalf of all the Natedog's out there! So I head to the next stop, Bally's.

    Cutting through the fancy pants shopping centre 'Crystals' oogling plenty of chicks, knowing I wouldn't want to afford any of them I get to my destination safely, although thirsty. I check-in to my reservation here for two nights just to grab the 150 in freeplay and use the thousands of reward credits on the burger place later with the boys. All goes well, grab a private restroom on the 8th floor in the north tower and get the freeplay squared away. I go searching for another 'China Shores' machine. I find one pretty quickly and stick in that first 25 dollar voucher....At around 10 bucks left the magic I was hoping for happens... A buttload of ying-yangs line up and i'm sitting back for 300+ spins getting served newcastles every 4 minutes tipping 2 dollars a trip. The 80 year old albanian CW and I got along famously. I think she may have even invited me back for a trip to the old country with her. After 90 minutes of staring at the screen not knowing much of what was going on, I ended up about 550 bucks and 8-10 newcastles.

    Liberally liquored at this point, and it being around 3pm I make my way upstairs to have a nap, quickly spending 50 bucks on a keno ticket for 2 dollars a game for 25 games. I crash upstairs and wake up after dreaming about being in an asian massage parlour.... probably because my iphone was buzzing in my pocket for two hours from the boys trying to find me. Well we all meet up at the burger spot and get some grub for the first time today. I'm still pretty drunk, and in this certain burger place all the waitresses wear corsets as thier uniform. So, my attention was not on the menu whenever she came around and it took an extra 10 minuntes or so to get the order filled.... I'm sure mine came with a healthy dose of spit. Dinner was good, had a nice Kobe burger while the boys had some lamb burgers. Charged to the room and off we went into the night.

    We head to the Wynn, one of my favourite places to gamble. I know the odds arn't the best at VP, they don't comp drinks at the bar but I love the atmosphere. So we all gather around 'Le Bar' at the back and start tapping away at various dollar VP. The night goes by quickly hitting less quads then I needed pretty much handing back all of the profits earlier in the day... but schooled a good 3000 points through the machine and had a good time doing it. Only once did Ange try and fight a group on conference go-ers.... Apparently, one of them made a slight against the greek economy and all of a sudden, the third generation hillbilly Canadian decided to get all nationalistic with his heritage and now was the time. Did I intervene? Did I say that this was a bad idea and not worth fighting over? Nope! I did what any respectable friend would do. Grabbed a bowl of imaginary popcorn and watched the show. Between Ange pretending to do a greek accent while yelling at these guys from New Jersey and the guys from New Jersey going 'Eh, Oh, Fooogit about it!' Shorty and I had a great time. Eventually everyone settled down and we all drank together for the next three hours at Parasol Up. These guys were fantastic! They were all in town for some oil and gas meeting of various companies. Antonio had nothing good to say about Obama, Frank couldn't stop talking about the lady of the night at the end of the bar, and Georgio was the quiet one of the bunch only lobbing the random grenades into the group when he saw an opening. Love Americans, I really really do. We were all doing Cuervo shots at the end of the night yelling out 'Go Keystone Pipeline!' everytime.... no one around us had any idea what we were talking about.

    4am comes rolling around, I'm about 600 dollars lighter in the pocket then from the start of the day, i'm drunk and no mischief finds me on the way back to the Aria. I actually get into bed and start to doze off.... suddenly I remembered I left something back at the Wynn.... Shorty.

    TBC!

    p.s. Below are the hits of the day which were pretty meek at the end of it.

    Trip Bankroll: -800.
    Slots: +450.
    VP: -1250.
    Roulette: No action yet!
     

    Attached Files:

  12. natedog666

    natedog666 17 and 20 Expert

    Joined:
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    Great hooker story! I wonder if they would have "rolled" you when you were in there? Keep those quads coming! I'm thinking of getting into VP with all these quad pictures on TRs....
     
  13. vegas_runner

    vegas_runner Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2009
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    Really liking this report so far! Go Canada go! I'm looking forward to the next update.
     
  14. blackjacker2

    blackjacker2 Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Midlands, UK
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    What a great update, you seem to be having the full Las Vegas experience. I'm hoping your drinking success is going to be matched with some gambling success. Keep the stories coming.
     
  15. VegasGarden

    VegasGarden Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    This is awesome. Well done. Dude your wife is going to kill you with the multitude of girl referrences !! I appreciate your sacrifice
     
  16. Dpin300

    Dpin300 Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2012
    Messages:
    380
    Location:
    Las Vegas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    0
    Trip Bankroll: -800. Slots: +450. VP: -1250. Roulette: No action yet!

    Thanks for adding this. I wish all writers would do this after each day
     
  17. Phrantic

    Phrantic Tourist

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2011
    Messages:
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    Day 2

    It's 4:30am Vegas time, I've cabbed back from the Aria to the Wynn, probably via a highway since I was tanked, without my buddy Shorty and I didn't even notice. So while about to fall asleep I remember thinking to myself, "He has a key to the room right? Ya he must...." Well let me end the speculation now. At 11am Vegas time i'm awoken from the Vegas slumber by evil sunlight since I forgot to shut the curtains.... I look over at the other bed, no Shorty. Hmm... I check the iPhone and I got the follow message that i'll type verbatim: "Homo, bunked with Ange cause you have both keys. His hair product takes up half the bathroom, wake up and come get me."
    So I get dressed, wander over to the Monte Carlo grabbing a coffee with bailey's along the way, and find my boys in their room wide awake. Shorty didn't sleep much on the mini chair-couch combo that he put together so he took off and said that he'd meet us for dinner at the Aria buffet around 6pm. (Part of the comp was that we get a free buffet) I look at the bronze greek god that is Ange and say to the man, "Well, I hear downtown Vegas has good VP want to go?" Ange says, "F'in' eh." Ange puts on his tuxedo t-shirt size small, and down we go to the cab stand. We wander past the 'China Shores Xtra Rewards' game, to which I give the finger, and keep going.

    We cab it down to MSS and have a seat at the Boar's head bar and enjoy the company of sweet sweet Kelly. Ange is immediately enamoured and proceeds to tell Kelly all about the war of 1812 and how he doesn't hold a grudge. I didn't think Ange could even count to 1812 let alone know the story of the war. While he's babbling away I'm losing my shirt on dollar JoB. Not a quad, not a SF, no royal in sight. Down 400 in a blink of an hour or so. Well maybe down 395 if you count 5 bucks for the fantastic micro-brews. Kelly went on break shortly after i lost that last hundred so Ange looks at me, looks at Joe, the other bartender, looks back at me and says "He ain't as pretty as the last one eh?" and I say "Well, that depends Ange, what are you lookin for?" And just like it was destiny itself Joe pipes up "You ain't my type either flyboy." The other 2 guys pushin VP buttons all get a good giggle out of that too. Well done Joe, well done.

    We walk around downtown eat lunch at the heart attack grill. Ange gets a triple bypass with big strawberry shake.... I get a single and a coke. I havn't been downtown much at all really, but I found it enjoyable. I like the random hippies wandering around and the various hoodlum looking folks trying to have a good time. Ange wants to gamble and he's a CET or Wynn only kinda gambler so I say lets head back to Bally's. I got a 125 bones of free play vouchers still and a Keno ticket to check. So off we go!

    Arriving at Bally's was a godsend. We got into Ahmed the Somali's cab who had just finished his dinner.... You think Saddam had chemical weapons.... you have no idea. Still tipped him well though cause he took the proper route. Ange having heard about my success yesterday at the slot machines comes and sits down beside me while I try and pull a repeat of yesterday. Our CW, I think her name is 'Arta' sees me again and knows exactly what to do, but this time I hold up two fingers. Well Arta needing to see who my friend is starts talking to Ange like they are lost siblings! She swears up and down that he is of Albanian decent and refuses to believe he is greek. Me, obviously having fun with this, instigates more by asking about the double eagle flag, how communism hurt the country so on and so forth... She didn't leave Ange's side for 10 minutes! She made up for it though by bringing us two newcastles each when we're only supposed to get one. And then, just then, it happened. A Shitload of Ying-Yangs from Heaven! 600+ free games!!!!!! (picture below)

    All those free games turned into a sweet two hour show of bells and whistles which paid out 990 bucks and I had another 7-8 newcastles. Fantastic! All this beer and cash from slot machines! Who knew?! Well, Ange was playing some somber blackjack while this was going on, he lost his size small shirt at the table. I collected him and we went to the Aria for dinner with Shorty.
    We found our way to the buffet with a quick text to Shorty along the way. We met up easy enough and ate like vikings for the hour. Crab legs stripped from the shells and forced into the butter bucket dish and then eaten in one shot! 3 plates of the red/fatty prime rib! Various asian dishes that everyone was eating around us that we had no idea what the names were but tasted fantastic! A genuine plug for the Aria buffet. Well done. (Sorry Nate).

    During dinner I explained my savvy slot machining and got the boys into going back to the Wynn to sit at the bar while I satisfy some fancy machines I never play. I grabbed the following wins below all of those slots! ended up +800 on slots at the Wynn for the night. To celebrate we head back to Parasol up to try and find our American friends from the night before, but alas, it was not to be so. Ange, Shorty and I just spent the last 4 hours of our night drinking and telling war stories with other new friends that happened by. A relaxing end to the evening, well after throwing down 600 at the roulette table and losing it all in three spins kinda relaxing. Everyone ended up back to their respective rooms that night and we were checking out early to head over to our last spot for two nights. The Palazzo. Incoming Handpay tomorrow!!

    TBC!

    Total Bankroll: -200
    Slots: +2100
    VP: -1700
    Roulette: -600
     

    Attached Files:

  18. booshie73

    booshie73 Tourist

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
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    Location:
    Cincinnati
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    25
    Loving this TR! I can't wait till March 19th so I can get my ass back to Vegas!
     
  19. Dpin300

    Dpin300 Low-Roller

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    Jul 23, 2012
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    I'm going to play that China shores machine for sure!
    Enjoying your tr. Thanks again for sharing
     
  20. vegas_runner

    vegas_runner Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2009
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    I'm soo jealous! Awesome!
     
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