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T-9 Pre-Trip Report-1st Day Itinerary

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by paulant, Jun 10, 2005.

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  1. Yahoo!

    Finally we're down to single digits. This trip will be two couples, myself and
    spousal unit (AKA The Lead-Footed Nurse), and our friends Mike and Marian.
    As Mike says: "How can anyone possibly ever be bored in Las Vegas"

    Here's the Opening Day report, as I envision it (can you tell I'm bored, and
    want to be there already?)

    1015 Depart Mike 'n Marians house for Portland airport
    1035 Stop at rest area to get rid of coffee consumed earlier
    1115 Stop at next rest area to get rid of coffee consumed earlier
    1200 Arrive PDX long term parking note to self: leave terrorist weapons (cigarette lighters) in car
    1215 baggage check-in, display tix/drivers license. Explain how Abdul had your luggage overnight for safekeeping
    1230 get in security checkpoint line
    1231 display tix/drivers license to security personal
    1235 line inches forward
    1236 display tix/drivers license to next security person
    1240 line inches forward
    1241 sign Bush administration loyalty oath
    1245 line leaps forward
    1246 display tix/drivers license to next security person
    1250 reach metal detector-remove all clothing, including false teeth. Prove to security personal that Fixodent used for teeth is *not* in fact C4
    1251 turn on every single electronic item in carryon. AS long as computer is on, send threatening email to head of TSA. Repack bag, get dressed
    1259 reach boarding area-display tix/drivers license to airline personnel
    1301 board plane-display tix/drivers license to Airline Pilots Union rep
    1315 push back from gate....restart engines..answer pilot's question: "Does anyone know what this thingie does?"
    1321 liftoff...ask flight attendant what time plane lands in Orlando
    1325 throttle brat in row behind you who is screaming while kicking your seat
    1400 attempt to nap between pilot's scenery announcements
    1520 Administer antidote to brat in row behind you
    1525 circle airport, waiting for Bill Clinton to finish haircut
    1530 1st touch 'n go landing
    1531 2nd touch 'n go landing
    1532 land, bounce up to airport gate
    1540 search airport for lost luggage...find luggage on inbound flight from Beijing
    1545 Shuttle to Thrifty Car Rental. Discover that being a Blue Chip member means that you're entitled to a free upgrade to 1972 Pinto
    1546 put out Pinto gas tank fire
    1600 Arrive Mirage, get in check-in line
    1620 check in line inches forward, as clerks return from all day "serving the customer" seminar
    1659 reach registration desk. Smile and ask for room with a view, and smile again as friendly clerk gives you a wink and a room key.
    1710 Discover that clerk's idea of a view is the air conditioner on the roof. Smile again
    1715 Unpack
    1725 (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) "break in" the room
    1726 head for Mirage pool, find white tigers having tasty dolphin snack. Too crowded to hope for any drink service.
    1730 Arrive Margaritaville, order mass quantities of Jimmy Buffet (tm) brand anesthesia
    1800 Visit casino. discover inventive way to lose money
    2100 Head for bed....nothing more important than a good night's sleep in Vegas

    --->Paul in Oregon
     
  2. Jimbucc

    Jimbucc VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2003
    Messages:
    1,692
    Location:
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    45
    1800 Visit casino. discover inventive way to lose money

    Keep a positive attitude Paul. Change that to visit casino and have a run on craps and BJ like never before. ;)
     
  3. Jacko

    Jacko Tourist

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    Messages:
    842
    PRE Trip

    1725 (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) "break in" the room
    1726 head for Mirage pool, find white tigers having tasty dolphin snack. Too crowded to hope for any drink service.


    I was going to suggest skipping the first one, but then I noticed it wouldn't take too long.
     
  4. ncgirl

    ncgirl Guest

    LOL
    Yeah I noticed it will only take you 1 minute
    to "Break in the room" wink wink.
    I always insist on at LEAST 5 minutes........
    :)
     
  5. KathyinNY

    KathyinNY Tourist

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2002
    Messages:
    850
    Location:
    Upstate New York
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    2
    That cracked me up because my very first car was a Ford Pinto. Brown/tan and I couldn't wait to get rid of it.

    I have a few weeks left myself and I can't wait to get packing. :D
     
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