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SpinyNorma's Teeny-Tiny Roller Mini Tour

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by SpinyNorma, Dec 7, 2010.

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  1. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    218
    Location:
    Deep in the hot of Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12

    My Trip Report

    Thursday 11/11.

    It was time for my annual trip to visit my mom and brother. I was there from Thursday morning through Sunday (those were the days that were easiest for my brother to do airport trips) and then winged my way over to a mini Vegas tour. I was originally going to head home on Wednesday but flights were actually cheaper on Thursday. Damn, damn, damn. Looks like I was stuck with an extra day in Vegas. The horror, the horror....:cheers:


    This trip started out surprisingly easy with none of the near-disastrophes that marked previous airport encounters. Both headlights worked so no Winky-mobile (Well, it had gone out not long before but I got it fixed this time so it doesn't count against me). There were no frantic return trips to fetch forgotten things, no flights delayed into seeming infinity. I had learned to take the earliest flight out of Rinky Dink which greatly increased the odds of actually having it leave on time.

    Call me paranoid but my experiences with the Gods of Irony (Travel Division) have made me leery of things going right. Surely they were saving back a real doozy to blindside me with. Cautiously, I looked around the waiting room to make sure Patsy Cline or Buddy Holly weren't on the passenger list. So far, so good.

    The only "off" thing was two weird guys in the checkout line ahead of me. One of them was buying apparently a last minute ticket. All I know was that it cost $1100 which he insisted on paying (and very slowly) in cash, despite the counter guy almost begging him to use a credit or debit card. I'm guessing this guy got pulled over for some "special attention" at Security.

    The other guy was checking in two amazingly HUGE suitcases. Seriously, they were just short of being steamer trunks. I bet either one of them weighed more than the clerk checking them in and, while she was nothing to make you think the circus was in town, she was not a wee girl. It did make me feel better about my own tendency to overpack though.

    I was all ready to settle in and wait after I got checked in but they immediately called for us to line up for the security check. It's just possible that I may have to stop calling this Fresh Hell Airport.
     
  2. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    218
    Location:
    Deep in the hot of Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12
    Sunday 11/14

    The flight out of Little Rock is 25 minutes late in leaving but, having experience with being travel's bitch, I had allowed enough layover in DFW to cover such a thing. I did have to deal with the heightening horror of the Sky Train but I survived.

    I am distracted by the horror of it all by the shoes of a man on the train. Remember those shoes from the middle ages where the toe extends several inches beyond where the foot actually ends? He was wearing the modern version. The shoes didn't end in a curly point with a bell but instead in sort of a tapering rectangle. This man was obviously the victim of a sadistically persuasive shoe salesman.

    Having survived the dual horrors of heights and weird, ugly shoes, I settle in at my gate and perfect my waiting skills. Finally they call for boarding. First class passengers, then Platinum, then a ton of other classy types right up through "OOOO, Look At You, Girlfriend!" before they finally run out and have to start calling the lowly regular group numbers. Not to brag but for once I wasn't in Group 6, aka the You Poor Bastards Group. This time I'm in the mighty Group 5, aka At Least You're Better Than Those Poor Bastards In Group 6. FEAR MY GREAT AND TERRIBLE POWER, MORTALS!

    They finally call Group 5 and graciously I try not to look too smug as I strut past the sadness that is Group 6. The strut is brought up short when I reach the hallway and see roughly the population of Calcutta is ahead of me. At long last everyone is crammed into their seats and we take off. It's a bit bumpy at times but otherwise unremarkable. We had a really great view of the Grand Canyon.

    Finally we arrive at our Shiny Tacky Mecca. I make the long trek to Baggage Claim with a minimum of height-induced heart stoppage. The bags aren't coming yet so I head outside for an injection of Vitamin N. I smoke about half a cigarette, just enough to hold off the NT's and head back in. The bags are unloading now and WOOHOO! there's my bag. I grab it and--oops. That's not mine. Chock full of cool, I put it back and then see my bag. No, really this time. I double checked.

    The cab line moves pretty quickly. There's a tiny British woman ahead of me who reminds me of a patient we had back in my early days at the psych hospital, only this one was much less obscene. (The original tiny British woman stopped cussing me out after she called me a "@!*%%!* whore" one morning and I asked her if there was another kind. We got along great after that.) We'd have shared a cab but our hotels weren't convenient to each other. Ah, well. On to the Flamingo!
     
  3. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    218
    Location:
    Deep in the hot of Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12
    I've spent the majority of my time in Vegas as a Micro Roller. Not to brag, but this year I had climbed the ranks and now hit the proud status of Teeny Tiny Roller. This time, instead of comp offers only from the Imperial Palace, I was offered free rooms at Flamingo, Bally's, and Rio as well. I am moo-hoovin' on up!

    Despite my new status, I still have to get in line behind roughly the population of Mayberry. After about 15 or 20 minutes, it's my turn. I'll be in room 26171...eventually. The room's not ready and they can't be more specific than "Check in is officially between 4 and 6 so it'll be ready somewhere in that time period". Not overly helpful.

    I drop off my bags at the bell check and wander around. I visit my old friends the Goldfish slots but they are cold to me. I suspect that bitch Dorothy has been spreading lies about me to them. After a long day of travel, I'm rapidly getting tired so I head back to the front desk around 4. I am, once again, Optimism's bitch.

    The good news is that I don't have to get back in the registration line, which has now grown to equal the population of Albany. There's a separate line for keys which is only about 4 deep. Yeehaw! That's the last of the good news. The room still isn't ready.

    I wander a bit more, throw away some more money. I decide to mosey up to the 26th floor and see what the outside of my room looks like. (What can I say? I had Traveler's Psychosis. It seemed like a reasonable idea at the time.) This kills a fair amount of time as it turns out the room is approximately 18 miles from the elevator.

    I kill some more time until about 5:30. The registration line is now roughly equal to the population of New Delhi. The key line is still only about 4 people, although it is a different 4 people. My room still isn't ready but if I'm not stuck on the idea of staying on the 26th floor, room 11083 is ready. Would that be okay? My aching feet scream "Oh dear God, yes! Yes! YES!" but fortunately it's muffled by my shoes so I can carry off my impression of being a normal person.

    I take my keys and head to the 11th floor. The room still seems fairly far from the elevator but by then I was measuring everything in Sore Feet Miles. Frankly, even stepping into the elevator had felt like a trek. At any rate, it was definitely less of an expedition than it was to other room. I find 11083 and the key works right away. YAY! No Key Card Roulette!

    I lug in my stuff and immediately realize the room may be ready but not for me. In fact, I cast a panicked look around to make sure the old inhabitants aren't still there. The beds are unmade, there's a pile of used towels on the floor, and a huge empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the table. Hmmm. Apparently the previous occupants were very clean caffeine freaks which would explain why the beds looked particularly rumpled.

    I call down to report this discrepancy in the definition of "ready" and then call the bell desk for my bags. The maid shows up quickly, apologizes for the mistake, and gets to work. We had a nice conversation while she worked, talking about the big surprise snow last year and idjit bosses. I asked about getting extra pillows and she calls down to have three more sent up. Right after that she finds two more in the closet but doesn't cancel the others. WooHOOOOO! I end up with a total of 9 pillows! (Hey, I'm a pillow freak. The reason I ask for 2 queen beds is to get the extra pillows.)

    The bags arrive and the maid finishes up. I get out my laptop, turn it on, and...weird squelching noises happen and the monitor stays black. This can't be good. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! But yes. Despite my repeatedly turning it on and off in the magical hope that it was just playing a little trick on me, I still get nothing but squelching noises, a black screen and a terrible sad. I hadn't tried to use it at either airport so I can't say when it croaked.

    I couldn't do anything about my computer sad but I could do something about the sad my feet had so I just laid back and rested. Maintenance arrived. The maid had called them about the faucet being loose. In the short time it took him to fix it, my feet stopped bitching and my stomach started.
    I went down and ate at the Burger Joint which was pretty good but overpriced. I revisited the slots, hoping they might feel sorry for me but I got was no pity love.

    I wandered over to the IP to see if maybe my buddy from last time, Planet Go, might be friendlier. It turns out Planet Go had become Planet Gone. The machines that I could find had no interest in making friends. I moseyed over to Harrah's but the shunning continued. By now my feet have remembered their own sadness and start bitching at me again. I head back, stopping at the Carnival Court to get the happy decadence that is a fried twinkie, and schlep back to my room.

    On the bright side, I find an elevator that's closer to my room, which settles my feet down to mere angry muttering. I eat my fried decadence, which gives me the energy to take a shower. It's then I notice that there are handrails in the shower and by the toilet. Instead of a regular shower head, I have that kind you (or your keeper) can detach and hold on to for hosing down. It seems they've given me a handicap room. I decide not to spend time speculating over any implications there and concentrate my efforts on crashing. If I say so myself, I do an excellent job of it.


    My room, newly cleaned, at the Flamingo:

    [​IMG]



    Night View:

    [​IMG]

    Day View:

    [​IMG]

     
  4. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    218
    Location:
    Deep in the hot of Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12
    Monday 11/15.

    I wake up around 7:30 and consider getting up. My brain immediately screams something that sounds remarkably like "Oh, HELL no!", which seemed like good advice so I fade out again. I wake up again around 11. The sleep marathon has helped a lot and I now feel ready for my mission--finding a duplicate of my cigarette case.

    My friend Jan had gotten a wallet/checkbook cover several years back that had the Vegas skyline and other icons as decoration. A couple of years ago, I found a cigarette case in the same pattern. I loved that case. Unfortunately, I lost it earlier this year. Even more unfortunately, I lost it right AFTER my last trip so I've been waiting all this time for the opportunity to replace it. I wasn't sure exactly where I'd gotten it but I knew it was in one of those little souvenir shops between MGM and PH.

    The plan was to head to the south strip and then hit all those little shops on the way back. I head out and find the bus stop. I used to order my passes by mail but you can just buy them at kiosks at the stops now so I figured I'd go that way. To my surprise, you couldn't buy a 3 day pass from the machine, only the 24 hour one. (Maybe you can at the ACE stops. I was lazy and just got mine from the stop right in front of my hotel.)

    While I'm doing that, a couple comes up and starts watching me. I'm not really all that interesting to look at so I figured they were waiting for the machine. I told them I'd be done in a minute and they could have it. It turns out they were first-timers and were trying to figure out how it works. I did my good deed by giving a brief overview of the bus system, the difference between the Deuce and the ACE, and how to work the kiosk. They seemed happy.

    Having done my bit for tourism, I got my pass (The strip on it is shiny silver!) and crossed over to the Caesar's Palace stop and head to NYNY. I get a pastrami sandwich and now have the energy to head on out again. I stop to look in their souvenir shops a bit. I find one case. It's not the one I want and a little short but I go ahead and get it anyway, just in case. Sadly, this turned out to be wise. I also found a bottle of orange nail polish (her favorite color) with the appropriate name of Island Girl for Jan. Once I looked at it outside, however, it seemed more coral.

    I head on over to the Trop to check out what's been done since April. Quite a lot actually. To be honest, part of me kind of misses the old garish colors but I have to say the joint does look quite classed up. I do a LOT of wandering--the casino, the garden, the pool area, all over. I do miss the row of kiosks selling odd and assorted things.

    From there I mosey over to MGM. The trainers are hanging out with the lions. One was sitting between two lions which were laying down. Suddenly he leapt up and hurried away. For a moment, I was afraid there was going to be another Incident but then I noticed his pants had a rather...moist appearance, leading me to assume that lions are not housebroken.

    He returns soon, in drier pants, and the trainers play with the lions a bit. As always, this makes me think of the B Boys (Bubba, Boo Radley, and Bogey, my three kitties) and makes me glad the notoriously ornery Bubba doesn't have the jaw power of his big cousins.

    [​IMG]

    But now it's time for me to resume my quest. I go in all the little souvenir shops. Alas, it's wasted effort. I did find a cigarette case that was bigger and tackier and got that as well (I'd learned the value of having back ups) but still not the one I really wanted. The Gods of Irony have to put their little touch on my quest by making sure I could find every variation on things in the design I wanted except for the cigarette case. Taunted!

    I also stop in the ABC store and Walgreens but, of course, they don't have it either. I consider loading up on cokes but I have more places to check so I figure I'll just hit the ABC store in Planet Hollywood so I don't have to haul them around so far. I'm deeply tempted to stop in at the Harley Davidson Cafe but I'm not really hungry and want to sit more than anything so I trudged onward across the street to Planet Hollywood.
     
  5. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    218
    Location:
    Deep in the hot of Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12
    I make my weary way into Planet Hollywood. My feet told me that if I'd just sit down and play a bit, I'd be sure to win this time. They lied. I'd have been more put out by the lie but the rest of me wanted to sit down too.

    But all good things must end and I made myself get moving again. I was in search of the ABC store and caffeine. Once again, the Gods of Irony raised their ugly heads. Normally, no matter what I'm looking for, I keep finding the entrance to the Miracle Mile area. Now that I was actually looking for it, I kept coming across everything else.

    But even I can't be lost forever and I did find my way in and even more eventually found the ABC store. I get some cokes and also see the same line of polish I'd gotten earlier but this time with a really orange color so I get that for Jan. I pay and head for the exit.

    Or so I thought. Once again, I was Optimism's bitch. As I trudge on (and on and on), I realize that the name of the store area actually comes from "You will walk miles and it will be a miracle if you ever find your way out again".

    After roughly 7 months, I do find an exit but it goes into the parking garage. I briefly consider begging one of the people there to give me a ride to my hotel but wisely decide that's not likely to end well. Reluctantly, I go back in and walk some more while my feet whine at me.

    After mere eons, I finally find another exit but it turns out to be to a side street. I decide it's close enough because I'm not sure I'll be able to escape the Miracle Maze again if I go back in. The Gods of Irony have prepared another little surprise for me because when I make it back to the strip, I find I'm back where I ended the last segment of this report, on the far side of PH, across the street from the Harley Davidson Cafe again.

    Muttering dark curses at the Gods of Irony, I slowly crip my way onward. I pause to watch the Bellagio fountain show (One Singular Sensation from A Chorus Line) and make my painful way over to the Paris casino. I play a bit, mainly to get a chance to sit down.

    The sitting was all I won. The fishies taunt me and my attempts to break the curse with a whole new machine did nothing more than show me that the Monkees are even bigger bitches than Dorothy. Well, I showed them by cashing out early. Oh, they called me, begging for a second chance but I was firm and sashayed (Okay, so it may have been closer to a lurching gimp) away proudly with my $5 ticket.

    I made my pitiful way to the bakery where I got a couple of pastries because I'm a firm believer in Sugar Rush Therapy. Amazingly, I found my way back to the strip exit easily but then I remembered I still had the ticket I hadn't cashed in. My feet begged me to just keep going but my Evil Brain overruled them. After all, how much time could it take to find a machine to redeem the ticket? The answer, of course, is "I am Optimism's bitch".

    All the machines that I could have sworn I'd seen so close by had magically vanished. It would have been closer to walk to the real Paris, although admittedly it would have been considerably wetter. Still, at long last I find the machine and get my mighty, hard won $5. Sadly proud, I turn around and discover that now they've moved the exits. I hate the Gods of Irony (Where the Hell Am I Division) but eventually they take mercy on me and let me escape.

    Once back on the strip, I consider just walking back to the hotel but my feet start screaming such truly inspired obscenities at me that I agree to just wait for the bus, fearing that otherwise my toes will break free and attack me in the weirdest, most repulsive blitzkrieg ever.

    There are no seats on the bus but at least I'm not walking. My feet settle down a bit but now my brain starts in on me. There's a guy who looks, as we say at work, medication-free and he's got a wad of bills working their way out of his pocket. My Evil Brain tells me to be a Good Samaritan let him know he's about to lose his money. This good deed is paid back as the rest of the ride is spent listening to No Meds Guy go on about how God charges all of us to look out for each other. Apparently God never suggests to His chosen that silence is golden.

    Several decades later, we pull up in front of the Flamingo and I escape. I crawl back to the room and manage to summon up just enough energy to fling myself on the bed. I had intended to have supper at BB King's that night but my feet quickly veto that idea.

    Once they've shrunk back down to size of Thanksgiving platters, my feet do agree to dragging me to the ice machine. There are knives thrusting their way into my soles every step of the way, tapping out Morse code messages about the inadvisability of planning to do anything but crash for a while. I put a couple of ice bags in with the cokes and one on my feet which are propped up on some of my mega-stash of pillows. They are so pleased with this bribe that eventually they do agree to go downstairs long enough to get a pizza to bring back to the hospice--I mean hotel room.
     
  6. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    218
    Location:
    Deep in the hot of Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12
    Tuesday 11/16

    I wake up at about 4:30 AM, feeling relatively human again. I argue with myself about whether to get up but I lose that debate. It seems I'm awake so I figure I might as well be clean, so off I go to the shower.

    Hair and body squeaky clean, I catch up on my notes. I look again at that first bottle of nail polish and it's definitely more of a coral than orange. Coral isn't really Jan's color. It's not really mine either but what the hell. I go ahead and paint my nails.

    Feeling virtuous with all this grooming, I head downstairs to try my luck once again. Sadly, it turns out that luck tries my patience instead. I consider heading over to America at NYNY for breakfast but I can't find my bus pass. Muttering in a dark, but not legally binding way to myself, I head back to the room, first stopping to redeem my ticket.

    Now a whomping 92 cents richer, I go to the room to see if I can find what I did with the bus pass. I check all the places I could possibly have put the pass, having about as much luck with that as I'd had at the slots. Eventually I put my hand in my pocket and...well, never you mind. Let's just say I found the damn thing. Obviously I'm an idiot who shouldn't be roaming free so I decide against going out for breakfast and decide to eat my second pastry instead. Breakfast of idiotic champions!

    The sign at the wildlife habitat had said they'd be doing the feedings at 8:30 so I headed down that way. I arrive at 8:25, only to discover that they've changed the time to 9:00 today. I don't want to wait for it so I just wander around the grounds. It's very pretty.

    [​IMG]


    Eventually I find myself at the entrance to the Flamingo shops area where I am once again taunted by finding every variation on things in the pattern I wanted except for the one thing I actually want. I did find a sleep mask (As someone who's normally a day-sleeper, I'm hooked on those things and always pick them up when I find one.) and a couple of refrigerator magnets that I liked.

    A particularly classy store entrance:

    [​IMG]


    After that, I just wandered around looking at stuff and then celebrated the Spirit O' Me by getting lost. I eventually find myself on the casino floor but I'm all turned around with no sense of direction. No, I wasn't particularly surprised either somehow. I eventually get my bearings and make my way back to the room to stash my purchases.

    I head back downstairs. While my sense of direction may have returned, my good sense had not so I threw away yet more money on the slots. It wasn't a total loss, however. I cashed in a ticket for a big 32 cents before heading out again. I decide to mosey over to Bellagio where (Did you guess?) I got lost. I do manage to find the Conservatory before they change over to the Winter display. I check out the Cirque sculptures for a while before setting out to find the buffet.


    It's about 10:30 by the time I find it. The line is only about as long as the population of Hooterville (Well, maybe closer to that of Pixley) and I actually manage to make it to the head of the line in time to get the breakfast price. They start changing over to the lunch foods soon afterwards so I'm pretty happy.

    I decide to cross over to PH to get a couple more cokes from the ABC store. I go in the Miracle Maze entrance, this time being careful to make note of landmarks so I'm not stuck wandering aimlessly and increasingly desperately again. To my chagrin, I very soon recognize an intersection where I had chosen the wrong way last time and realize I'd been really close to freedom. Retroactively taunted!

    I get my cokes and make my way out again without embarrassing or crippling myself. I consider taking the bus on home but I decide to head on over to Paris to take a look around that wasn't obscured by tears of pain.

    From there I decide to mosey on in to Bally's. I've never had much luck there but I'm sucking at the places where I normally do fairly well so I figure I'll at least look at what they have. They have the elusive Planet Go but someone else was on it. Inconsiderate bastards!

    I decide to wait them out while paying a visit to my Goldfish friends. The Goldfish are not my friends. I did get two bonus rounds but one was that chintzy bastard Burpie and the other was a scatter spin bonus about which the only good thing I can say is that at least I hadn't had to pay for those crap spins. At least I got a chance to sit down and a nice Toasted Almond out of my time.

    Planet Go was open now so I settled in. Sadly, Planet Go told me where to go. Fine then. I'd just go cash out. Take THAT, Planet Schmoe! And then I see her. Dorothy. I'd tried this game a few times already (as you knew that I would) and done about as well as you'd expect. I tried to pass her by--really, I did--but she called me back. What could I do? I hear the road to Hell is paved with yellow bricks so I settled myself in for yet another episode of Masochism Theatre.

    It starts as I expected. A few small wins and the usual tauntings. I get a bonus but pick the stupid 450 coins one. I'd had about $80 on the ticket when I sat down so I decided I'd give Dorothy till $60 before gimping off in a huff. I was getting close to that target when I hit another bonus. Emerald City! Not a big win on that one but encouraging enough to keep me above my target.

    Then I started hitting the bonuses right and left. Yay for the flying monkeys! Yay for the lovely Glinda! I got $155 on one of them and finally cashed out with $230. WooHOOOOO! This would be my only big win of the trip but it was one more than it had been looking like I'd get.

    [​IMG]

    It's time to mosey homeward. My feet are bitching again but somehow I mind it less. The little toe on my left foot has been feeling weird and uncomfortable so I stop to try to adjust the sock but it doesn't help much. Luckily, we big time winners can rise above such things.

    There's a bank of Goldfish Race for the Gold machines right by the elevators closest to my room. They've always been in use when I've gone by before but now they're empty. The original Goldfish and Goldfish 2 haven't been good to me this trip but I'm feeling generous so I decide to give this version a chance to taunt me as well. To my surprise, I put in $20 and. a couple of bonuses later, cash out with $73.

    I cash in that ticket and skip up to my room. Okay, it was more of a zombie shuffle kind of skipping but I say it still counts. I break out a bottle of bubbly (Hey, Dr Pepper has bubbles) and recuperate enough to shuffle down to replenish the ice bags. A whirlwind of activity like that can really take it out of you so I settled in for a nice nap.


     
  7. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    218
    Location:
    Deep in the hot of Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12
    I ended up not really getting a nap so much as a series of short dozes but it's enough to humanize me again. I decide to rejoin the vertical world around 7 and, after a quick shower, head on over to Planet Dailies at PH.

    The Gods of Irony swoop in yet again. When I was there yesterday trying to find the entry to the Miracle Maze area, I kept finding myself at Planet Dailies. Now that I was looking for Planet Dailies, it was coyly hiding from me while the Miracle Maze entries were everywhere I turned.

    But my perseverance was eventually rewarded. I had the lobster fettuccine with bread sticks. I do love that stuff. The waiter was really good--friendly enough to be helpful without crossing the line into annoying stalker. Now pleasantly sated, I have two goals--to infuse myself with a dose of Vitamin N and to find my way out. Luckily, I'm a master of multi-tasking and immediately set to rectifying both goals. Even more luckily, I actually find my way out without the use of a Sherpa.

    My next task is to hit up the cheap ATM at Casino Royale so I get on the bus and off again at the Venetian stop. I briefly consider stopping in to look around but my feet consider detaching themselves and leaping up to strangle me with my toes. We call it a draw and I make my shambling zombie way to CR. I resist the urge to throw in the zombie moan as well because that's just not the highbrow way of the elite group of Teeny Tiny Rollers. Besides, someone might shoot me in the head. While my feet might have found that a tempting thought, but I still had another full day in Vegas.

    I stumble into Casino Royale and actually manage to find the ATM right where I thought it was. I wonder if this is an actual miracle but then decide it's probably more that, while my brain may hate me, it's good and scared of my thug feet by now. I lurch forward and into their souvenir section. No elusive cigarette case, of course, but they do still have the $5 Tshirts. The ones I got last year turned out to be surprisingly sturdy so I got some more.

    The euphoria of successful shopping passed quickly as I once again began to trudge onward. Things perk up a bit as I see something potentially interesting up ahead. The cops have a redneck-looking guy in cuffs right by Harrah's. But wait--there's more! Flanking the cops are a guy with a camera and light and another one with one of those big fuzzy microphones. I brilliantly deduce that they must be filming a Cops episode. Oh, the high classitude! As I pass by, I hear the redneck slur to the cops, "Just go ahead and arrest me! What the hell, I'm already drunk!". I thrill to the perseverance of the human spirit.

    [​IMG]


    A little further down the strip (but several miles in feet distance), I see another cop with a film crew but this one doesn't have anyone doing a special guest appearance in cuffs. Outside of that, the only point of interest in my trek was a guy who looked like Wayne Newton impersonating Elvis.

    I manage to drag myself back to my room and decide maybe a hot soak in the tub might bring my legs and feet back into something resembling human limbs. They do feel somewhat better afterwards but that same little toe is feeling weirder and worse. I can't blame the socks or the shoes this time so I hobble over to the bed and take a look.

    There's a fairly large flap of skin hanging off it and pink skin underneath. It appears that somehow I have managed to get a blister under my little toe and the hot bath caused it to pop. Filled with marvel at how I could possibly manage to do such a thing, I crash for the night.
     
  8. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2007
    Messages:
    218
    Location:
    Deep in the hot of Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    12
    Wednesday 11/17

    I came out of my coma around 9 that morning. I was feeling fairly human, except for that weird toe blister thing. Luckily, I had brought along bandaids for just such an emergency. Unluckily, I couldn't find them anywhere. Perhaps the Gods of Irony had stolen them. It certainly wouldn't surprise me a bit if they'd done themselves an injury the way those bastards had been working overtime on me.

    After looking through everything at least 3 times, I finally gave up on the idea of them magically reappearing. I was going to have to put on my shoes and gimp my way down to the Overpriced Sundries store in the hotel. I briefly toyed with the idea of making my way to Walgreens where such things would certainly be more reasonably priced. After my feet and I finished the good laugh that this provoked, I headed downward.

    Perhaps I should have waited until I was less giddy from the laughter because I managed to get myself lost. I passed this store all the time but, when I needed it most, I couldn't find it. Fortunately, it didn't take as long as it felt like to finally find it. I scouted around and found the bandaid section. Ah, here's a nice little box of them for--SWEET BABY JAMES! I was going to need a bank loan...and a much larger one than I was likely to qualify for, especially if they charged me for the smelling salts I damn near needed after seeing that price.

    Once I finally stopped swooning, I rallied enough to find another little package with only about 4 bandaids in it. It was overpriced too but not to the point of giving me the vapors. I lurched my way back to the room where I soon discovered that it's kind of a bitch trying to put bandaids on your little toe. Still, I was determined and eventually managed to get some protective cushioning on there.

    Now what? It was my last full day in Vegas and I still hadn't made it to Ellis Island or to use my Restaurant.com certificate at BB King's. I decide on Ellis Island for right now. Even though it's close enough that I feel a little silly taking a cab, my feet go all sissy on me and absolutely insist on this indulgence. I manage to find the cab stand with a minimum of fuss and roughly $6 later I'm at Ellis Island.

    It's a little after 10 so I'm late for the breakfast crowd and early for the lunch crowd and I get seated right away. Damn, I do love that steak special. I decided to go by Bally's next to see if, just maybe, I'll have better luck on my Quest there. Even my pitiful scalped little toe can't argue for a cab for that little way so I gimp my way onward. Before I hit the halfway point, the toe starts trying to pretend that it never voted for walking but I ignored it and lurched onward.

    Of course Bally's didn't have my case. I did some looking around at assorted things and eventually made my way into the casino. I wisely decided to keep my money and not blow it on the slots so that my memory of my big win would remain unsullied.

    Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I played. Planet Go seemed to be mildly ashamed of the way it had treated me the last time and did better by me but only slightly. The Goldfish felt no shame at all and still shunned me. And as for Dorothy? Well, she wasn't showing me the love this time but she was a little less of a slotty tease than she usually is.

    Humbled, I make my slow and painful way over to Bill's where I check out the Tix 4 Less booth. There's nothing on there that I want to pay the price for so I gracefully lurch onward back to the Flamingo. Being a forgiving sort, I give the Goldfish another chance to be my friends again, only to be slapped down hard. I stop at the Race for the Gold machine before making it to the elevator. I came out $20 ahead on them and quit while the quitting was good.
     
  9. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

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    I was going to try to finish this in one whack but my computer and my brain are both going wonky on me so I'll be back in a bit to finish up.
     
  10. VegasDiva

    VegasDiva VIP Whale

    Joined:
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    Love your sense of humour!! Very entertaining and detailed
    Waiting to hear if your feet forgave you and the slots got more lenient with your TeenyTiny MicroRoller status :thumbsup:
     
  11. lobsterkmd

    lobsterkmd Low-Roller

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    Keep it coming!! This i a great TR and I love your style of writing! Definitely love the humor!!
     
  12. bboy554

    bboy554 Low-Roller

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    I'm glad you finally hit something!! Btw, betting 3 credits a line, I think you've graduated beyond teeny-tiny roller status! ;)
     
  13. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

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    Go SpinyNorma!!!!!!!!!

    :beer:
     
  14. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

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    Thanks, everyone! Who knows? One day I might make it to Shrimpy Roller status!:evillaugh But for now, that's just a dream. I'll finish up this saga in a little while.
     
  15. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

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    I make my painful pitiful way back to the room where I virtuously get to work packing. Well, okay, I virtuously think about what a good idea it would be to do that and even make a small effort in that direction but mostly just laze around, waiting for my feet to shut up. Not long after making it back, I realize that somewhere in my trek, I've lost my lighter. And when did they stop putting books of matches in hotel rooms? I'm definitely sensing a conspiracy here.

    I try to ignore it but you know how it is when you know you can't have something, what started as minor urge then becomes a major obsession. (Or maybe you don't. Fine. Be mature. See if I care.) So I pound my swollen feet back into shoes and hobble downstairs again in search of a cheap lighter. By cheap, of course, I'm grading on that Vegas hotel sundries store curve. They did have a couple of cheap lighters at expensive prices--or I could have a book of matches for free. I'll leave you to debate how that decision turned out.

    By a little after 3, I had still not returned to my full human state but I had hit a point where I could fake it. I showered, changed the bandaid, marveled again at the weirdness of the injury, get dressed, and head out to catch the bus to the Venetian. Once there, I gimp on over to Walgreens where I continue my fruitless yet compulsive search for my dream case. I find a souvenir ashtray that I like but decide to hold off so I don't have to haul it around. I do successfully manage to buy a new lighter though. Filled with a sense of accomplishment, I strut (Okay, it's more of a zombie strut but still....) over the walkway to the Mirage.

    I'm not yet really hungry after my early lunch so I don't want to hit up BB King's just yet so it's time for my yearly capitulation. Every time I decide I'm not going to hit up the Secret Garden this time and every time I end up doing it anyway. I suspect the dolphins have seized control of my brain.

    This was a bad idea as far as my legs, feet, and weirdly injured toe are concerned but otherwise it was a great day to visit. The dolphins are extremely playful that day, hamming it up for their fans and coming up really close to the underground windows.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    The weather's really nice and the big cats are in motion today. This is cool, except for the one tiger who tried to spray us. I got to talking to a woman who worked there and we had a good conversation about cats in general, the big ones and the ones that are theoretically domestic, and the eerie similarity between the two.

    Majestic big cats:

    [​IMG]
    Smaller versions but far more likely to be deadly to me:

    [​IMG]

    When I make my way back toward the exit, the trainers are out with the dolphins so I end up sitting down and watching for a while. Who can resist a cavorting dolphin? Addled by the aquatic adorable, I find myself wandering through the casino. I answer the cruel siren call of a Planet Go machine which, having sucked me in, then proceeded to just suck.

    I extricated myself from the black hole and crawl my way to BB King's. I'd never used a Restaurant.com certificate before but it was really easy. Mine was for $25 off with a minimum bill of $35. I got the bourbon glazed steak with garlic mashed potatoes, green beans, and a corn muffin with a side of collard greens and an iced tea. That was a damn good meal. I was tempted to roll around on the floor while making yummy noises but I'm a teeny tiny roller now and therefore have an image to maintain. Besides, that sort of indulgence never ends well. Never mind how I know. The meal came to $44 but, after my certificate was applied, my part was just a shade under $20. I'm definitely going to do this again.
     
  16. SpinyNorma

    SpinyNorma Low-Roller

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    It's almost 7 when I waddle happily out so I figure I might as well wait on the volcano show. Once that was over, I continued on my criptastic way back to Walgreens, where I picked up my souvenir ashtray.

    This would be the volcano show, not the ashtray:

    [​IMG]

    My feet, to no one's surprise, have been whining at me so I decide to give them something to whine about and head on in to the Venetian to look around. It's gorgeous, as always, but it seemed like you're forced away from the canal area and into the shops more than you used to be. Then again, that could have just been my feet talking.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    On my way out, I stopped at a booth and got a frozen pina colada, which served two purposes. It was tasty and it allowed me to pretend that the alcohol was why I was walking like a zombie on the way home.

    Nothing overly exciting happened the rest of my last night. I did a bit of gambling, coupled with a lot of losing. When I wasn't feeling the need to give away my money, I alternated between resting the remains of my aching limbs and finished up my packing. Despite my efforts not to overpack, there was still some element of Luggage Tetris but at least this time the difficulty level was set on Easy. Hey, I grade on a curve.
     
  17. booker

    booker High-Roller

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    Wonderfully written! I even got lost with you, and I thought I knew my way around the Strip.

    And I feel your BandAid sticker shock. I'm a poker player and last year I got a blister from walking too far in my new sandals looking for juicy games. Even worse than the $300 bad-beat I suffered when a guy hit his two-outer on the river (that's poker speak for, "The Lucky Bastard pulled a card out of his ______"), the worst beat I suffered was buying a box of BandAids at the gift shop.

    The remainder of that box of BandAids still resides in my medicine cabinet. They are simply too expensive for me to use. It would be cheaper to sprinkle gold dust on my abrasions.
     
  18. AliGee

    AliGee Low-Roller

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    I thoroughly enjoyed the TR! My feet are aching now in sympathy.
     
  19. techie223

    techie223 High-Roller

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    Excellent TR!

    You have a great sense of humour and wonderful writing style to go along with it. As a low roller myself, I can imagine how excited you were by a greater than $200 win:beer:
     
  20. Passion4mb

    Passion4mb Tourist

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    Great TR and wonderful sense of humour. I can sympathize with you about your sore feet. I'm going to Vegas in a couple of weeks, would you write my trip report for me...please???? :)
     
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