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Senior computer skills- funny

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by Joe, Apr 24, 2015.

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  1. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    OK, I don't know if these are real or not, but I got a chuckle and I am a senior.

    Senior Computer Skills.......

    Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Customer: A white one...
    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?

    ************************
    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can�t find printer�. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
    *************************

    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer: OK
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
    *************************
    Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five dots.
    *************************
    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
    *************************
    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    *************************
    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first email.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
    *************************
    This one and the next are our personal favorites!
    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

    ************************
    And last but not least!
    Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'

    Customer: I don't have a P.

    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

    Customer: What do you mean?

    Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.


    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT !
     
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  2. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

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    Press any key.

    I can't find the any key!

    Good stuff, Joe! I think we've all been there.:beer:
     
  3. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    I like the one about the guy writing his first e-mail. Cracked me up!
     
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  4. FullBoat

    FullBoat VIP Whale

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    I used to do tech support at Dell, and my first call of the day was from a guy really upset that no one was helping him with his hand held. Went kind of like this:

    ME: Thank you for calling Dell support, may I get your service tag number?
    Him: Everyone keeps "freaking" asking me for that, and I can't find it anywhere. I hate this thing. It's a piece of junk
    ME: OK, a lot of people don't know where it's at. Take the back cover off, and remove the battery. The service tag is on a label under it.
    Him: I've already looked there, it's not there. I can't believe none of you can help me out.
    ME: OK, what do you see on the label?
    Him: I see the serial number, model, Compaq iPaq, and that's it. Why can't you help me out?
    Me: Wait a sec, it says Compaq?
    Him: Yes, I need help with this piece of junk.
    Me: OK, so you're calling DELL for a Compaq device?
    Him: What... oh crap.... *click*

    I laughed for 5 min at him. So did my co-worker.
     
  5. Turtleman

    Turtleman VIP Whale

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    Funny stuff Joe; however, I'm afraid those kind of exchanges aren't just related to seniors. I "play" tech support for several friends and acquaintances, and many have a long way to go before turning senior! Some of their responses would fit right in.
     
  6. chitownjohn

    chitownjohn High-Roller

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    Coffee cup holder is broke

    Funny stuff, I like the call about the broken coffee cup holder. :thumbsup:

    Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
    Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
    Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
    Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
    Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
    Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder?
    Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
    At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
     
  7. 44inarow

    44inarow VIP Whale

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  8. sandybeachbar

    sandybeachbar Low-Roller

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    Thanks for the great laughs!
     
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