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Pinny Long Insults Gallagher and Wins $8000

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Pinny Long, Jul 1, 2013.

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  1. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    My Trip Report

    So, I come up the escalator on my way to the Club Tower at Tropicana and lo and behold, guess who's passing by at the top of the landing when I come up. Yep, it's Gallagher . . . . and he's dressed in Gallagher mode with a stupid striped shirt and bowler hat and looking old as death (because he is).

    Now, anyone that knows me knows I HATE Gallagher (I have another story from about 9 years ago that perhaps I'll share sometime) and I have a bit of history. But, I was caught off guard and for some reason my properly functioning badass ego was on break (I just came from a slot tourney) and instead I went into polite dork mode. "Hi, Gallagher." He grumpily gives half a nod and partly acknowledges my existence. Then I said, "I've seen your show many times. I didn't realize you had a residency gig at the Trop. Well, just wanted to say 'hi' and have a good show" The rotten bastard didn't so much as give me a greeting or a thank you for my support. He just says gruffly, "Okay" and turns away. I walked on ahead.

    Now I was pissed at myself. I had a chance to diss Gallagher again and I blew it. A bit further down the hallway I see a girl that I'd talked to in the elevator an hour earlier and had a brief "How's it going" chit chat. Then I proceeded for the elevator. By this time Gallagher had now just caught up with me (still ignoring me, of course).

    We get to the elevator bank and I push the button and one opens. We both get in. He looks like crap. Politely I say, "You look tired, Brother." He finally speaks - "I have a 7 o clock show. I don't want to peak early." He says this in the tone that is hard for me to describe, but I guess it's like when you're pointing out something obvious to a 5 year old and you're pissed that you have to explain that the pan is hot because it was on the stove or something. Anyway, the door opened and I finally snapped out of it and answered back as he was stepping out. "It's way too late for that, Buddy."

    I saw his neck tense up slightly as if he wasn't sure what I said or if I meant it the way he was processing it. So I popped my head out and said clearly. "That's right. You heard me, Old Man!"

    He didn't turn around but I could see his pace quicken and his veins starting to boil and, damn, did it feel good!!!!

    UP YOURS, GALLAGHER!!! The score is now officially Chester: 2 Gallagher: ZERO. Be sure to invite me to your funeral so I can take a big steamy dump on your coffin.


    Oh, also, this happened . . .

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  2. freddywill

    freddywill Low-Roller

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    Love your post dude! That was really funny, congrats on the big win and hope you can share your other story soon.
     
  3. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    Not sure I get the Gallagher story, but nice going on the Royal.:thumbsup:
     
    Christmas
    My wife's birthday
  4. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    He mentioned worrying about "peaking too early" and I told him he was far too late . . . he already peaked . . . 30 years ago.
     
  5. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    Thanks, Man! Here ya go . . . .
    ------------------------

    "Pinny v. Gallagher: The Prequel"

    About 8 years back a client of mine had tickets for a Gallagher show at The Grove Theatre in Anaheim but wasn't able to attend so he gave them to me and I took my wife.

    We were easily the youngest couple in attendance (about 30 years old at the time) and the audience consisted almost solely of 50-60 year old lame ass middle-class WHITE PEOPLE. Before the show started Gallagher was setting up his props and checking the stage from the floor and someone went up to him to shake his hand or ask for an autograph or something and he was very cranky and snapped, yapping something about going back to his table to meet people.

    He started making his way to the foyer and I had nothing better to do so I followed the short train of people drafting behind him to get a chance to meet the great Gallagher. He sat at his table and was just about the most bitter ornery old bastard I've ever seen. One family wanted a photo with him and he got all pissed at them "No! You stand there! Hurry up! Take the photo!"

    I had my ticket and was just going to have him sign it and say hi but when I got up to him I said, "Hi, Gallagher! I just wanted to let you know I VOTED for you" (Ref: 2003 Recall Election where CA got the Kindergarten Cop as our new Governor). I really DID vote for him, I should not. I thought he'd get a chuckle and a smile from that mention or laugh and say "Thanks", but his reaction really surprised me. He snapped back bitterly, as if he really thought his campaign was real and signified something, and angrily barked out back "Yeah! 20,000 people voted for me!".

    I looked straight at him and said, "Yeah, you got beaten by a porn star, a crippled smut peddler, and the midget from Different Strokes." I could see him turning red with rage and I wasn't even sure what was going to happen. Was he going to hit me? Call security? Fire back some hot zinger of an insult? He was at a loss and none of those came my way. Instead he just waved his arm for me to go away as he shouted "Get out of the way! We gotta keep the line moving!"

    His act that night was HORRIBLE. He did the exact jokes he'd told 20 years earlier. Exactly. Nothing new. Nothing original. And he just came across as angry and hateful as he bitched about how music these days suck and what's up with the kids and Britney Spears and Paris Hilton and dumb amidst his iconic schtick. It was awful. I told my wife about the encounter we had before the show and mentioned that I wanted to mess with him again after the show, but she wasn't having any of it and forbid me from any more shenanigans.

    If not for the chance to bust his balls it would have been a pretty lame evening.
     
  6. freddywill

    freddywill Low-Roller

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    Dude, the Trop should pay you instead of that old dude, You're way more entertaining. Great story. needed a laugh, thanks.
     
  7. john meriman

    john meriman merri by name merry by nature

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    like your style-but who the f?>,/ is gallagher?:wink2::beer::beer:
     
  8. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    Gallagher is a burnout comedian from the 80's.
    He was the original "Prop comic guy".
    I am certain he goes to bed every night cursing God that Carrot Top (who used to be "the poor man's Gallagher") is now a premier act on the strip while Gallagher probably plays to a room of about 60 drunks with "Honk if You're Horny" trucker hats.

    Gallagher is mainly known for his "Sledge-a-Matic" schtick whereby he smashes stuff with a giant hammer . . . and more specifically, watermelons.




    [​IMG]

    He was also one of about 300 candidates running for Governor of California when we had a special Recall Election (resulting in Arnold Shwarzenegger).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Gallagher
     
  9. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    Crap. I seem to have accidentally used a humongous picture of Gallagher and can't find the "Edit" button. My apologies to anyone whose monitor is now a mess.
     
  10. mlsoregonhills

    mlsoregonhills Tourist

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    Right on. :peace:

    Great trip report! I'm glad you started out being cool -- up to him to change the tone. That was funny as hell.
     
  11. mlsoregonhills

    mlsoregonhills Tourist

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    Oh yea, and congrats on the big win.
     
  12. Big Tip

    Big Tip VIP Whale

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    Picture is fine. If that doesn't convey who he is, nothing will.
    Your story made me look up his age.

    He'll be 67 July 24th
     
  13. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    My bad. The first one I put up was, in an ironically appropriate fashion, one of him wearing giant oversized women's shoes, but it was like 5000 pixels wide. I finally got my post edited but couldn't figure out how to delete the other one, hahaha!!!! I am a complete moron when it comes to computer stuff.
     
  14. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    I started telling my wife the story yesterday and she interrupted me, as she was super mad. "Why do you keep being nice to that a**hole!!!!!???" I had to calm her down . . . "Easy, Baby! Let me finish my story . . ."
     
  15. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    Congrats on the Royal and having a bit of fun with Gallagher. Do people really still pay to see him?!
     
  16. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    Good question. I was wondering that too.
    I can't imagine they actually SELL very many tickets.
    They have him on the promo sign outside and maybe there's a small pocket of middle America's visitors that are just looking for a lighthearted and inexpensive (I would hope/assume it's inexpensive) comedy show and fall for it (they'll be disappointed they did).

    I'm guessing, though, that there are not very many people going to see this show and the tickets/passes are primarily given to guests as party favors, or perhaps the show is one of the free handouts given if you go to those stupid timeshare meetings or something.
     
  17. Viva Las Vegas

    Viva Las Vegas Ramblin' Gamblin' Man

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    1. I hope you gave the same smile/look to Gallagher as he walked away (and such a pity the ***** did not look back).
    2. The midget was more qualified.
    3. I never seen Gallagher besides a minute or two on TV, and I haven't seen Carrot Top at the Luxor, but I did see him about 20 or so years ago and he had a pretty good show (and based on most reviews, continues to give a great show). Carrot Top was very accommodating to people after the show in a 70 seat comedy club in Chicago.
    4. I have added "Insult Gallagher to his bitter & extremely old face, or the back of his head if he does not look back, at least once" to my bucket list.

    [YOUTUBE]SqAh1dQu_pg[/YOUTUBE]
     
  18. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

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    "Running for Governor (as an independent) in the 2003 California recall election, Gallagher finished 16th out of 135 candidates with 5,466 votes."

    heh.
     
  19. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
    16th.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

    I gotta get the full results. There must have been some total nobodies that beat him in addition to the midget, the porn star, and the smut peddler.
     
  20. Pinny Long

    Pinny Long High-Roller

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    From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_gubernatorial_recall_election,_2003
    --------------------------------
    Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger 4,206,284 48.58%

    Democratic Cruz Bustamante 2,724,874 31.47%

    Republican Tom McClintock 1,161,287 13.41%

    Green Peter Camejo 242,247 2.80%

    Independent Arianna Huffington 47,505 0.55%

    Republican Peter Ueberroth 25,134 0.29%

    Democratic Larry Flynt 17,458 0.20%

    Independent Gary Coleman 14,242 0.16%

    Independent George Schwartzman 12,382 0.14%

    Independent Mary Carey 11,179 0.13%

    Democratic Bruce Margolin 9,188 0.11%

    Republican Bill Simon 8,913 0.10%

    Republican Van Vo 7,226 0.08%

    Independent (actually Socialist Equality Party) John Christopher Burton 6,748 0.08%

    Democratic David Laughing Horse Robinson 6,496 0.08%

    Independent Leo Gallagher 5,466 0.06%

    (There's a buttload more . . . but I only wanted to see the list down to Gallagher)
     
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