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Peter 4:3 & The Pagans of Ft Collins 10/19 - 10/25

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by tdhoier, Oct 18, 2016.

  1. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    My Trip Report

    Folks,

    Some guy named Peter in a passage numbered 4:3 in a book entitled 'The Bible' states, 'For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do - living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolotry.'

    Well color me one of them pagans, Petey Boy!

    I don't know if there is a God and I do not practice (nor participate) in any religious activities. My faith lies with the expert craftsmen at the distilleries across the globe, the peasants who pick the grapes in the vineyards and the vintners who barrel the wine. I thank the brewmasters who fill the vats with fine ales and I pay homage to the bootleggers who allow all to indulge in the nectar of the Gods (booze).

    It's been fifty nine grueling days since I last visited this Elysium we know as the Las Vegas. I've groomed myself from head to groin and I've even recovered from my recent bout with the gout just in time for the event. The Samsonite gament bag is packed with the finest fashions, toiletries and muddlers and the Colorado State Rams are comin' to town.

    I'm not going to mince words. I play no reindeer games. No chance of me beatin' around the bush (unless there are some consentin' ladies hanging around the City Center, if you know what I'm sayin'). It's reunion time and four of my favorite amigos from Edwards Hall (dormitory) are making the trek for the festivities and to support our incredible 3-4 football squad at Sam Boyd Stadium Saturday Afternoon (and, most likely, unmercifully boo our horrendous Head Coach).

    Aside from everlasting friendship that has lasted nearly two decades, we all share the common bond that keeps us strong: Liquor. If you pass by a group of fellas cupping alcohol into their mouths like Augustus Gloop did with chocolate in Willy Wonka's river, stop and say hello. Some people are shopaholics and others consider themselves chocoholics. We've never shied away from being USDA certified, Grade A ALCO-holics and Clark County gives us the square mileage to satisfy our cravings.

    We celebrate the myriad of amazing graduates that have come before us from this unmatched institution: The Dad from 'Good Times'. Cheers. Academy Award winning songwriter Keith Carradine (don't pretend you didn't get goosebumps all over your nether regions when he sang 'I'm Easy' to Lilly Tomlin in Bob Altman's classic film 'Nashville'). Cheers. Adult Megastar Juli Ashton, whose performance in 'Butt Motors' is still one of my favorites. Cheers, girl! Anwar Al-Awlaki...well, we're not so proud of this man who disgraced the golden horns with his antics, but Jason Momoa!?! This man is boinking Denise Huxtable! Cheerio, my man!

    Then you have tdhoier, Toad, Billy B, Andy, and Yogi. Yogi I haven't seen in over a decade and he would just sit inside the house and drink back in college. The only time I ever remembered him going to a party with us, he got nailed in the eye with a bottle of Moosehead. I've already planned a secret attack of Olympia 11 ounce bottles when we venture out onto The Strip, just for reminiscin' purposes.

    Andy jumped from a three story balcony (drunk) and shattered his heel. Toad thought a tube of Arm & Hammer Mentadent was hair gel. Billy crashed into three cars in his Volkswagen Rabbit, but this was not because he was drunk...he just hit a major patch of black ice and his tires were as bald as Ron Howard.

    I've never done anything wrong. I did have to make a tough decision as a Sophomore when I went #2 one morning (extremely hungover). Just sat on the hopper and realized I had to vomit. Do I go between my legs while I'm sitting there or get off and project it into the toilet? I went with Option B and, even though I made it all in the bowl, I defecated all over the wall behind me.

    Oh, memories. Anywho, the first two nights I'm solo at the Aria. Comped room with a $100 resort credit.

    Everyone else shows up FRI and we have a Hospitality Suite at Vdara. This is when I start babysitting.

    2:30 PM Saturday is the NCAA's jewel of the day over at Sam Boyd. Doubt we'll make it down there for the ESPN Gameday Crew set-up, but we'll be there for Kickoff.

    Fight on you stalwart Ram Team
    On to the goal!
    Tear the Rebels line asunder
    As down the field we thunder.
    Knights of the green and gold!!
     
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  2. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    Visual reference only. Vegas.JPG
     
  3. vegasvette

    vegasvette Low-Roller

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    What a fun menagerie of references you put together. Once again, I jump on the reference from Animal House, as depicted by the photo of John Belushi. As Flounder said at the parade, "Oh boy, this is gonna be fun."

    Enjoy and keep us informed as best you can please.
     
  4. Richard Alpert

    Richard Alpert LOST

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    Thanks for mentioning the City Center Welcoming Committee! :wink2:

    That was one heck of an opening monologue, tdhoier! :thumbsup:

    Those words are enough for you to be VMB's poet laureate! (Take that Maya Angelou! :poke:)

    I'll be watching you weave the magical tale of your misadventures!

    RICHARD
     
  5. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    The muddler is included.

    The 25 count of baby wipes buried underneath the bar of Trader Joe's soap made from the finest berries and dark chips of what look like shards of broken glass.

    A toothbrush.
     

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  6. tringlomane

    tringlomane STP Addicted Beer Snob

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    Game at Sam Boyd with your alma mater...always a great reason to go to Vegas! Look forward to this one!
     
  7. pd54

    pd54 Low-Roller

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    I think this could be so good that we'll not get any updates until next week :drunk::vomit:
     
  8. IWannaBeInVegas

    IWannaBeInVegas VIP Whale

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    You have me hooked. Don't leave us hanging
     
    Tentative Arrival
  9. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    Security at RIC invaded my personal belongings, my privacy and robbed me of my dignity by rummaging through my carry on.

    Really only embarrassing because, as most do, I packed a baking sheet, a cutting board, a large wooden spoon, cocktail shaker, & dish scrub brush.

    They did not ask if I was planning on producing meth at my final destination.

    Got my copy of Saint Vincent Lombardi's heralded biography 'When Pride Still Mattered' from the library. Even though I won't have any left (pride) at this point tomorrow, how do they expect me to read 507 pages by 11/9? I'm busy and have a very low attention span.

    Adding insult to injury, there are 12 pages worth of pictures in here and they don't even include that in the 507.

    Jip.

    20161019_093444.jpg
     
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  10. JRRestoule

    JRRestoule Low-Roller

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    I'm getting in to Vegas tomorrow afternoon...might just run into you guys at some point...sounds like it could be a good time!
     
    First ever New Years Eve Trip! Maroon 5...and more!
  11. jdk

    jdk Tourist

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    I think you're my long lost best friend!!! Though I did go to UGA, so sorry for the Bobo, but we were happy as hell to see him go!!!!!
     
  12. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    Let's kick off the trip with three of the worst - uninspired pictures this forum has ever seen:

    One of my favorite eateries in Las Vegas was visited immediately down on S Las Vegas Blvd:
    Lee.jpg
    Bought a 1.75 liter of Woodford Reserve, a 1.75 liter of Effen Vodka, 6'ers of Trippel & Rampant IPA, brewed by my homeboys back in Ft Collins over on Linden St (New Belgium), a high class $22 bottle of Savignon Blanc (for my sensitive side). Down $118 for the trip to Mr. Lee.

    Car2.jpg
    Got to Lee's when I walked to the Rental Car Shuttle Bus area at McCarran and saw there was a line of about four busloads worth of folks...and no buses.

    The debate made everything one of them clusterfarck deals, so I took a cab to the Silvercar rental agency on E Sunset. A wise decision.

    The Cabbie was from the Ukraine and I'll never forget his words as he arrived at my destination. "Never hear of this Silvare-Car...but they have many Silvare-Car!! Ha Ha" He yelled this at me. SilvERcar only rents silver Audi A4's.

    I bought my second $12 Auxiliary Audi A4 cord for my ipod because I'm a complete and total lunatic. The last one I bought last year, I left in the car accidentally. That's $24 for cords I use approximately nine days out of the year (for a combined four hours of enjoyment).

    I'm really bad with money.

    Car.jpg
    The turn into Aria...with my Las Vegas Blvd sign glared-out. So it's really just a random picture of a street light.

    I was able to take a couple of awe-inspiring images on the plane with my ipod....but I left the device in the Audi. Trust me, it's worth the wait and it involves a couple of boulders. Holy Mackerel.

    Room Service - unpacked - organized - need to bathe and see what this town has going for it.
     
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  13. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    You bastard.

    I'm presenting Mike with a one way ticket from Denver International to Hartsfield-Jackson International on Saturday.
     
  14. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

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    Son, fat, drunk and defecating against the wall while projectile vomiting is no way to go through life.

    (Bring it on!!!)
     
  15. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    Showered, deodoranted & John Barry's 'Kicking Bird's Gift' just came on the itunes shuffle as I dressed myself for the evening.

    For those of you don't know, this is the Academy Award winning music played when Kicking Bird gave the white man (John Dunbar) the buffalo hide as a present for being a seemingly nice neighbor on the plains of South Dakota. A gorgeous picture entitled 'Dances With The Wolf'. Absolutely beautiful.

    20161019_212530.jpg
    Banana Republic / Fruit Stripe Gum shirt, Guess jeans, Diesel shoes, Old Navy underwear shirt...Tommy Hilfingers undies. Ready to donate.

    The game plan was to hit downtown tonight and go visit some of my girlfriends in N Las Vegas. Too tired for the kind of excitement as of now, so I'm keeping it center strip oriented with a thousand clams in my Fossil-brand wallet.

    Of course, there's a possibility I could end up in N Las Vegas after all. Alcohol has a strange effect on people. It's a lot like Kicking Bird's Gift, actually.

    Ta-ta.
     
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  16. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    20161019_231719.jpg

    $200 buy in / Pai Gow @ Bella Giovanni.

    Good...but not reaching my full potential considering I hit a $500 straight flush.
     
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  17. pd54

    pd54 Low-Roller

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    Keep 'er lit!
     
  18. jdk

    jdk Tourist

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    "I'm presenting Mike with a one way ticket from Denver International to Hartsfield-Jackson International on Saturday."

    Do it!! I'm D-town living since leaving college, though I feel like this ass clown circus has been stalking the shit out of me, I mean really, CSU? Of all places?!?!?! That's not a knock, but I figured he would at least stay in the SEC and ruin peoples lives A-La Josh McDaniels stint with the Broncos.....
     
  19. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    This pretty much sums up my performance after I left the Bellagio. A terrific run from about 11:30 PM - 4:30 this morn.




    It wasn't all a loss, though. Had a wonderful hour and a half with a little Asian pit boss who was giving me some grief for losing so much. She was pretty brutal on me. Asked her if she was a Dominatrix in her off-hours. She just stared at me....so it could have been a yes.

    I can't believe I left this tasty morsel hangin' (from the Cosmo). I'm going to drink it and start anew.

    20161020_094653.jpg
     
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  20. tdhoier

    tdhoier Low-Roller

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    Was thinking of making some college football bets over yonder at the Trop. I like their sports book and they seem to have 1st H lines on every game.

    I walked down there and my "position was correct, except, no Sports Book."

    "What do you mean? Where is it?"

    "That's what I'm tryin' to tell you, kid. It ain't there. It's been totally blown away."

    I don't know what happened to it. Just some drunk guy behind a small table now. Can't imagine why they're remodeling it when it was done about five years ago.

    Oh well, I got some exercise and was able to pick up a savory strawberry daiquiri.

    Lot of rest today so I can enjoy a myriad of activities tonight. I did make this wager downstairs:

    20161020_140918.jpg
    As a lifelong Packers fan, we're terrible. All three RB's going into the season are gone, Three WR's are hurt/out (and Randall Cobb has back issues), our Top 3 Cornerbacks are all out, we can't punt, and Aaron Rodgers has the yips. It's a complete disaster.

    I'll still whip over to my brother's house, finish off the bottle of vodka I left there back in August and watch us lose with a loved one. It's good to have family during tough times such as these, kiddos.

    Be back around 9ish and am going to distribute some of my USD downtown (and seek comfort in the understanding arms, ample bosoms, shapely trunks, & silky thighs of some of the young maidens at the Palomino Club).
     
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