As long time downtown people ,(Golden Nugget) we opted to stay at Paris. Why? We live outside Philly and play at the Caesar's properties in Atlantic City. During the winter and spring they were offering bonus comps, extra points, etc. At one time Harrah's was offering 3,000 reward credits simply for inserting your card and pressing accept offer on Wednesdays. They normally send us free buffet coupons so our comps started to accrue. We are Platinum level players as we both play on my bride of 38 years,(Miss B) players card. SInce we were going to Phoenix for a few days as Miss B's brother and wife moved there in the summer we decided to check the Caesar's website for offers. So I run the card and I'll be dipped in shit. Full comp at all properties with the exception of the Palace which they wanted $119.00 for four nights. We opted for a premiere room at Paris. We flew Southwest from Philly to Phoenix and then to Vegas and back to Philly. Did the early bird six months before the trip and got the following boarding numbers, Philly to Phoenix B4 andB5. Phoenix to Vegas A1 and A2 (WTF), Vegas to Philly A 59 and A 60. Day 1 ( The adventures begins) Land in Vegas around 2 pm after a brief 44 minute flight from PHX. Get in the cab, Paris, no tunnel, Swensen Road etc, driver nods his head. Fifteen minutes later butt steak driver pulls up to Harrah's. Thought I said Harrah's. I said ok turn the F***** meter off. Ok he does it and we get to Paris. No harm no foul. Check in at Platinum, lady says our room is a strip view corner. Also says we may pick up noise from Cosmo. SHe checks for a better room and she upgrades us to a Red Corner room. Nice deal , room has fridge, coffee maker, and is stone quiet. Time to grub and off to the casino. I've read some negative comments about PAris and rude employees etc. I can truthfully say we received nothing but courtesy on all fronts. It seems that the buffet room has a section for Platinum, Diamond and Seven Stars. Pretty cool as they bring you hot crab legs etc, and the service was great. Also gave us a newspaper at breakfast. Now Miss B loves Stinkin Rich slot machines. So we spilt up in the casino and of course she wins and papa bear takes it in the shorts. Just before midnight i throw a note in a quarter quick hit machine and catch the seven quick hits and a bonus of 20 spins with a re-trigger. Cashed out $ 384.00, almost even for day. Day 2( Need an eye opener buddy?) I 'm an avid walker or a nut, whichever comes first. SO at 6 a.m. I'm walking down the strip just past Planet HO and a young lady asks "If I need an eye opener? " Told her my mother said never to talk to strangers hanging out in door ways. She did not see the humor. Actually told me to do something that is physically impossible. Get back to Paris and Miss B and I head to Harrah's for breakfast. Now Miss B notices a plethora of Stinkin Rich machines. We agree to meet in a couple hours. I head off to video poker magic kingdom. Now after about two hours I'm ahead about $ 60.00 on nickel Ultimate X. Walking back to meet Miss B i see a Stinkin rich with a cash out of $119.75, another one with a cash out of $ 398.56, and another one with a $ 87.50 cash out. I think I'm on Miss B's trail. Sure enough they were her hits. Decided to go to Caesar's for some nags for me and S.R. for her. On the way out I stop at a Bier Haus Machine and hit 45 spins on the third spin. Cash out about $ 215.00 and heading for Caesar's. This is going to be a good day. My ass. After Harrah's, I could not hit sand if I fell off a freakin camel. I'm a long time horse player , over 35 years. although I never got the habit, but my horses would not do my bidding. I'm an exotic wager player, ( exacta,s trifectas) but I could not put two and two together to make four. It was more like aw shit and two makes eight. SO after a four bill donation to the racing gods we head over to Flamingo. Now the Flamingo and I have a special relationship. I can't pull a jackpot out of a Flamingo machine with a tractor. Needless to say we reinforced the relationship. Miss B finds a stinkin rich and loses. One of those days when you call the suicide prevention hot line and they put you on hold. Beddy bye time. Day 3 ( The Cincinnati Kid part 3) AH downtown at last. My people. Start at the Fremont . Miss B spots a herd of S.R. machines and she has her butt planted for the foreseeable future. Now those of you familiar with the movie The Cincinnati Kid understand the significance of the Jack of Diamonds. I sit my butt down at a nickel single line double bonus machine. Put a couple twenties in and was ahead, and then it happens. I draw the Ace if Diamonds, King of Diamonds, Ten of DIamonds, six of clubs, and Queen of Diamonds. Now the last two royals I had were in diamonds and involved the jack. So, I'm sitting thinking is it there. I finally hit the draw and the Jack of Diamonds pops in. A nice $ 800.00 hit, ( playing 20 nickels). Miss B does well as always on the gaggle of S.R. machines. We digress to the Nugget where we stayed numerous times and I go in the race book. I'm on a roll. My ass. Drop three beans quicker than you can say Albert Camus is an existentialist. So on the way back to meet the bride I see a Stinkin rich without no payout showing. I'm playing 100 pennies, or a dollar for the math impaired, and hit the bonus and re-trigger it three times racking up 70 spins. I'm thinking, OH boy, pay day. Not so fast Kilvinski, i cash out a paltry $ 53.75. I told the bride about this and she could not believe the grief imposed on me by her favorite machine. Visited the Plaza, it's nicer but none of their ticket redemption machines were operating. everything at the cashier. Downtown Grand is coming along. MAin Street station still looks nice and is well maintained. Hit the Nugget for dinner at the Grotto, we love their veal parm and headed back to PAris for a major disappointment. WHat could be better than playing slots in PAris? Anything up to and including a kick in the ass. Day 4 ( will smoke your weed for food or you want to put what where? Decided to hang around the strip today. walking over the bridge to eat breakfast there's a couple with a sign.WILL SMOKE YOUR WEED FOR FOOD. Let me see if I have this, you want my grass and then I have to buy you lunch. Not in this lifetime. SO we end up at Planet Ho. Miss B finds her S.R. groove and I wander around donating to Saint Bingo, saint slot machine, various race tracks. Around three p.m. Miss B asks me if a need a bail out. We always help each other if one of us is taking a beating. SHe drops a couple of notes on me as she's holding her own on S,R. and Fire Horse. SO I walk by a S.R. and drop a note in. On the first spin I catch three full rows of wilds. Lots of bells etc. Nice $ 142.00 payout to get me started. we dined at the buffet in the HO. The headed back to PAris. Told Miss B i'll meet her in Paris at 11 . I go to BAlly's and it happens. I start with a Fire Opal and catch the bonus and then re-trigger it three times. FOr the next three hours I had a Vegas vision. Was able to recover some of what I lost. Went to meet the bride and she is looking like she just ate a plate of sour owl shit. Her words, "don't ask". We lost for the trip but the only paid for one meal. Of course we paid through the machines in Frantic City. We did visit last year's money while we were in Vegas. I would be remiss if I did not recount the last night at Bally's. I'm playing the Fire Opal machine and there's a couple on one stool about three seats to my left. I mean they are almost con-joined in the casino. Next thing she starts smacking the shit out of him and yelling you want to put what where? I almost fell off the stool. The security folks intervened and the honeymoon was moved to the room, I hope. No word of a balcony accident. Observations: Flew Southwest for the first time. Did not like the boarding. FLights were on time and smooth. Stay on Strip again?My heart is downtown. With the competition in Atlantic City for the gambling dollar, the casino's are throwing some real decent offers. We get a lot of mail and the winter blitz for players in on. This is a firm we'll see. I prefer downtown. Hope you got a little chuckle out of the above rambling madness. Already planning next foray. Got to visit this year's money. Be fruitful and win. AL C.