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Opinions of buying meals-separate checks etc

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by Joe, Oct 28, 2012.

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  1. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    Long winded question coming. We went to Madison for the Badgers (Badgers sucked) vs. Spartans, Big Ten game yesterday and then went out to dinner with my wife’s family who all went to the game. Counting us, 8 people. Get to the restaurant and there is a half-hour wait, so I buy everybody a drink at the bar.

    OK, we get seated and my brother in law requests separate checks…no problem. Him and his wife, two daughters, one husband and one grandchild and us.

    I don’t know why but this is just rubbing me the wrong way. The checks come and for his daughter whose husband couldn’t make the game, he doesn’t offer to pay. Wasn’t an expensive meal, it was at a brewpub and she had a burger. I didn’t say anything and my wife says get over it, her brother is a tightwad, but it just irked me.

    I would never say anything, but what would you have done over the check? Personally, if it was my family, I would have picked up all of their meals, maybe just not ours. Money isn’t an issue. He’s retired collecting a handsome state pension +SS and he’s an CPA doing tax returns on the side.

    Maybe I just don’t like him and this was further reason why.

    Sorry, I just needed to vent.:poke:
     
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  2. queuetee

    queuetee High-Roller

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    He didn"t pay for either daughter or just the one whose husband was not there? That is surprising thng for any father to do. Cheap [email protected]@rd
     
  3. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    Nope, didn't pay for either daughter, one grandchild (grilled cheese) or son in law, who had the meat loaf dinner. Like I said, not expensive meals, everything under $10 and my wife and I were the only ones to order another drink at the table.
    I didn't expect him to pay for any of our meals...but his family?
     
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  4. shifter

    shifter Degenerate Gambler

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    yeah, that's pretty cheap. we go out with my wife's parents pretty often and we never split up the check. we just kind of take turns picking it up and it usually works out in the end. not always, but it's not that big of a deal. not picking up a cheap meal for your daughters or grandchild is pretty bad. i guess i know who i wouldn't invite next time!
     
  5. smartone

    smartone VIP Whale

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    You were correct to be "irked"... I hate the whole "separate" checks deal, ESPECIALLY with family involved!!!

    I learned well from my Dad, when I sit at the table, I take care of the tab... period. Not because I'm a big-wig, but because I prefer the conversation and ambiance to revolve around the quality time spent together and a good meal, not who's gonna pay by cash, debit or credit or who ate 2 appetizers, etc.
     
  6. OK Pabst

    OK Pabst Low-Roller

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    Badgers/meatloaf

    Were you at the Great Dane Pub?
     
  7. volfaninbama

    volfaninbama High-Roller

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    That does sound cheap to me. Not the way my family works. Cheap people annoy me. Next time you go out with him introduce him to credit card roulette.
     
  8. C0usineddie

    C0usineddie VIP Whale

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    I am pretty tight with a buck but wont do the spearate check thing.

    I would have arrainged the payment options prior to going in or paid the whole thing myself.
     
  9. AbFab

    AbFab Low-Roller

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    What a cheap %$^*&!

    Till this day when I go to Costco with my Dad, he'll never let me pay for my things after he charges it to his AE. Never takes the cash no matter how much I've bought. And, I'm in my 30's. I can never picture either of my parents handing my check for food. Mannnn...is he a cold person or what!
     
  10. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    We were, how did you guess that?
     
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  11. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    Thanks for the replies. I'm still a little steamed at the entire thing, but I'm glad to know it isn't just me and others feel a bit like-minded.

    My wife just keeps saying her brother is a cheapskate and there is nothing to do about it. But...it still bothers me.

    Packer game at Lambeau next Sunday and no cheap in-laws to worry about!:thumbsup:
     
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  12. nubia11

    nubia11 Low-Roller

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    If he's financially able to do so, I think that the brother in law should've sprung for his family but, I guess it comes down to the individual situation. If they go out a lot as a family then its not necessarily feasible for the parents to pick up the tab all of the time. But, in this case, sounds like he has a tightwad past, amongst other things.
     
  13. nubia11

    nubia11 Low-Roller

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    Try not to let it bother you too much. I tend to fixate on this kind of stuff too. Makes me crazy. As it turns out, cheapskate is a very hard condition to fix. :poke: I just caught part of some extreme cheapskate show the other day where, amongst other things, the woman being profiled on the show was peeing in a jar to save on her water bill. As it turns out, she's a millionare. Uh... yeah...okay.
     
  14. UTE

    UTE Plastics

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    Ah... yes, expectations. They can drive us crazy - unless we manage them.

    Anytime family members (or anyone for that matter) goes into a situation involving money, always discuss the issues beforehand. Uncomfortable doing so? Well, then be prepared to have your expectations of what you think should happen bite you.

    That'll be 5 cents, please.

    Bill
     
  15. Sonya

    Sonya Queen of VMB

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    I couldn't even pay for a latte when I'm with my parents. I figure it comes out of the inheritance. :haha:

    I'm surprised to hear about it with family members, but I kind of like it when dining with a group of friends. I've done that a few times this week and sometimes it works out, but other times not so much for me. :wink2:

    I have some strange diet restrictions and usually eat much less than everyone else at the table. For example, I'll often order an appetizer and a house salad. Other people at the same table will order apps, entrees, drinks, wine, dessert, etc. Then the check comes and they divide by the number of people at the table. I think that's how I ended up paying $55 for 4 pieces of sushi the other night. :evillaugh
     
  16. Terry Benedict

    Terry Benedict VIP Whale

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    I can appreciate you are frustrated with the guy. At least you recognize that you have issues with him even before this incident. You realize it's possible you are just looking for more reason to bang on him.

    Of course there are a lot more questions and conditions that go into it, like how much the whole game day cost him, and another hundred bucks may pack it on. Maybe his family already owes him money. Is he already paying their car, rent, or student loan. Maybe he struggled finacially when he was young and he values the experience now that he has gotten past it. I find that people who have money, or manage other people's money, seem to be a bit quirky in managing it. Which is kind of a reason why they have money. I mean, they have money because they don't give it away. But on the other hand they will give away $100 game tickets.

    I think you found another reason not to like him. We aren't allowed to impose our values on others, such as he does not have to have the same level of generosity you do. Be content in your own giving personality, and try to let the animosity go so you can love happily.
     
  17. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    I don't want to drone on this entire thing, but...
    Him and his wife have 2 season tickets to WI football, hockey & 4 season tickets to WI basketball.

    We went to this game because his daughter has 10 season tickets (she owns two businesses)to football. We offered to trade her 2 tickets to Lambeau field for a Packer game in return. She couldn't do the date we offered but still invited us to yesterday's game. Tried to pay her for the tickets and she wouldn't take take the money. My wife and I had a hunch this would happen (she doesn't take after her father:poke:), so we said she could have our preseason tickets to next year's Packer game. She was really happy with that trade and who is she going to take...her father, who has never seen a game at Lambeau.

    I hope he buys dinner!:poke:
     
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  18. mike_m235

    mike_m235 Tourist

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    Stuff like this bothers me, too. So when we go out with family I just pick up the entire thing, regardless of who's there. Inlaws too. That way I don't have to worry about it.
     
  19. OK Pabst

    OK Pabst Low-Roller

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    How did I know?

    There are 7 brew pubs in Madison.
    4 Great Danes - I had a better than 50/50 chance.
    The Vintage
    The Capital Brewery
    The Ale Asylum

    I know the menu of the Great dane quit well, I like their meatloaf.
    Try the Bangers and Mash (awesome sausages served with mashed potatoes) next time.

    I live 7 miles south of Madison.
     
  20. saintpauljeff

    saintpauljeff VIP Whale

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    I like that place :thumbsup:
     
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