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Oct 8-11 PH, Crappy Trip

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by dfalk, Oct 13, 2012.

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  1. dfalk

    dfalk VIP Whale

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    My Trip Report

    I originally had this trip planned as my first solo trip my brother decided to tag along. Got a RT flight for $200 and booked 3 nights comped at PH.

    MONDAY 10/8/12
    Get to the airport at 6:30PM for our 7:40 flight and holly shit Allegiant was on time for the first time ever in the company's history! That's a big win in my book and so far the trip is looking good. Uneventful flight, but I brought some mini bottles on the plane and drank 6 bottles of rum, and one beer. By the time we landed at 9:00 I was feeling good and drunk. Get off the place and head straight to the cab line (bringing just a carry on bag is so nice) and straight into a cab, there wasn't a single person in front of us. Second win of the tip.

    Get to PH and not a single person in the check in line! After reading threads on here I've come to HATE the phrases "$20 sandwich" and "do you have any complimentary upgrades" So I decided to try something different and not sound like every other schmuck in town. I took my $20 and wrapped it around my ID/CC creating the new and improved "$20 wrap". Walked up the lady and said "Hey beautiful I'm here to check in and that $20 is all yours if you can get me a nice fountain view". She kinda laughed and said I'll see what I can do. She pokes away at the keyboard for a bit and says sorry I can't get you a fountain view, but I can do something better. She pulls a book out and points to the panoramic suite, will this work? I said fucking A it will! Getting upgraded on a comped hollywood hip room to a suite was the third, and sadly last win of my trip.

    Walked up to the room and got pretty damn excited when I noticed it was at the end of the hall with double doors. It was a very nice room, my only complaint is the walkways seems a bit small and we were always moving chairs and barstools to get through.

    Head down stairs to do some gambling. My goal was to win the jackpot on $1 WOF, so I put a $100 in and lost it within minutes, damn. Next we just walk the strip a little bit checking out the sites. It's now about 1AM or so and I decided its BJ time. I had a ton of fun at Ballys last trip so I decided to head there. I don't remember much about the tables, all I know is I've been drinking for a good 12 hours and it's time to go home. I walked back to PH and made sure to get me an Earl of sandwich. Took that up to my room and enjoyed my sandwich while checking out the sweet view. Went to bed at 7AM down $300.

    TUESDAY 10/9/12
    Woke up at 11AM, and after 4 hours of sleep I'm feeling pretty damn good. I've been working on an anti-hangover formula that works pretty well for me. Before bed try to eat a little, drink a half gallon of water, 1 multivitamin, 1 magnesium pill, 2 ibuprofen, and 1 pedialyte package.

    Today I wanted to do the $100 FP at the Cosmo, so I head there and talk with the lady to make sure I can still do it. She said yes, and I said you're a very nice lady but I hope I never have to see you again. I go play some slot at $5 a pull and am broke in no time. Head back to the Identity booth and the same lady just starts laughing at me, she said sorry and put the $100 on my card. Went and played that and won $60 back. Forgot to mention my brother signed up for a card too, but he doesn't gamble so I took his card and blew through $100 in no time. Had him get his FP and I got $80 out of it for a total loss of $60, not what I was hoping for! Next we just walk around the strip and I play a few slots here and there, no wins what so ever.

    It's about 5 and we're going to Penn & Teller tonight so we grab a case of beer and head back to the room to rest and get ready. We polish off the case and by now I am completely shit faced and its only 630! We walk to Ballys to catch the shuttle to RIO but this line is huge! I dunno how big their shuttle is but if it's a normal sized one there is no way were all fitting on. So I say F that and we just grab a cab. This cabbie was something else. He was pissed off at the whole town of Vegas calling everyone a "bunch of bitchy C-U-Next-Tuesdays", how you can't make money here anymore, and the money he does make just gets funneled towards the top. He was nice to us though, and I think he appreciated that he could rant to us and we would listen.

    Get to the RIO, and I pick up our tickets that I bought off some discount site for $55 bucks. I gamble some more before the show and once again lose. We get seated in the show and here's where I fucked up. I am so god damn drunk from drinking since noon I can't tell what's going on! The stage was a giant blur, there was at least 3 Tellers and 2 Penns . I tried closing one eye to focus better but that didn't work. I'd like to give a review but the only thing I remember from this show is Penn's trick with the red bouncy ball, and the last trick where they shoot each other. After the I show I stand up and my legs instantly gave out on me and I fall straight to the ground! So fucking embarrassing, I get up and start walking out and it's like one of those bad dreams where you can't walk or run. Oh well I made it out, and there was Teller in the hall with no line. So I walk up to him and was like holly shit you're a lot taller in person, he says I get that a lot. We make our way out to a giant cab line. Stand around and got to bullshitting with a guy who was going to Aria so we shared a cab and split the cost.

    I think it's about 1AM so I head back to Ballys for some more BJ. Don't remember much except that I was always losing and there was a really nice dealer named Danielle. Played till about 5AM and after drinking 15 hours and down $700 I decided to call it a night. While walking out of Ballys a guy approaches me and says hey man want some candy? I said it's been a pretty shitty night, I'd love some candy! I said I only have $20 left on me (which I actually did) and said give me what you can. So we walk to some dark bushy area and he gives me some lines. Now that I'm sober and think about this little event, it was by fast the stupidest thing I have ever done, I could of got caught so easily. Oh well though Vegas jail can't be all that bad. Anyways he was a super nice guy and we bullshitted for a half hour or so, if you need a good dealer go find Markus, highly recommend him. It's now 6AM and I'm totally fucked up, walked back to PH, got another Earl of sandwich and went to the room. I think I ended up passing out around 8 or so.

    WEDNESDAY 10/10/12
    Didn't wake up till 1AM and was feeling pretty shitty, but once I took a shower and started to move around I felt much better. We walked down to the IP to check out the Auto Collection. God damn this hotel is a total shit hole!! I didn't even wanna be in there and can't believe people actually stay here. Hopefully with the new name and changes they can make something better out of it. Anyways we got in for free, you can print out free admission tickets on their website. Spent about an hour in there, some pretty nice cars and I recommend it if you're a car person.

    We walk back outside and it is pouring out, the short walk from IP to Flamingo got us pretty wet. It was kinda neat though, the first time I've ever seen it rain in Vegas. I gambled at Flamingo for awhile waiting for the rain to let up. When it did we walked to Ballys to eat those $2 tacos at the Tequila Bar. I'm not a food guy at all so it doesn't take much to impress me but god damn these things were just awful! If they were 25 cents that would still be too much, do not go here!

    I'm not sure what time it is, I wanna say about 6, we walk back to PH. Grabbed a 12 pack of beer and headed to the room to drink and rest a little bit since tonight is strip club night. We finish off the case and go walk the strip. We called the Olympic Garden to have them send us their comp limo which showed up right on time at 10. We get there and this club you pay $25 to get in but that includes 2 drinks, so it's not too bad at all. I really wanted to enjoy this club, read a lot of good things about it online, but the women here were not anything close to what I've seen at other Vegas clubs (rhino and treasures). Hopefully the reason was it was a Wed night and they have better talent on the weekends. They were friendly girls though, good staff and overall a nice looking club. I did find one attractive girl who I got a lap dance from. She was nice and let me grab her ass and honk her tits, pretty good deal for $20 and pervs like me.

    We only stayed here about 2 hours then took a cab back to Ballys for you guessed it, BJ. Walked up the table with my favorite dealer from last night, Danielle, and her words were something along the lines of "oh fuck I gotta deal with you again tonight!" It was all good and in fun though, she was the best dealer I've ever had in Vegas, I'm gonna write an e-mail to Ballys complimenting her. This was a fun table, played with 2 girls from Canada all night long. I remember our conversations getting quite greasy, mostly about sex stuff. We also had this foreign guy at our table who didn't speak a lick of english and was the worst player I had ever seen at a table. Standing at 10s, 8, doubling 17s, we offered to help him, the dealer would ask "are you sure" when he was about to make a stupid play, and he wasn't having any of it. So the whole time we are all making fun of him and he had no idea what's going on. Poor feller. At one point the table was full of women and I was the only guy. I've never seen that at a table before, it's usually a sausage fest, but I could get use to that.

    Its 9:30AM (Thursday morning now), I've been up almost 24 hours, and have been drinking a good 15 of them. I gotta get my ass off this table since I have to be at the airport at 12:30. I stumble outside and it's all dreary, raining, and looks like it wanted to snow. You couldn't even see down the strip, never seen anything like it in Vegas. Stumbled my way back to PH trying to avoid all these weird ass people who think it's a good idea to wake up at 9 in the morning. Packed my bag, check out, and decided I'm starving and want a decent breakfast. Went to Planet Dailies and ordered an omelet, it was pretty delicious.

    After that it was time to head to the airport. Get though with no problems, plane was on time, and I arrived safely to complete my 6th Vegas trip.

    Random Thoughts
    I appreciate you ladies who don't wear underwear while dining at Mon Ami, I saw at least 2 vaginas while walking by.

    Getting only 9 hours of sleep over 3 nights, and drinking like 654 beers really takes a toll on your body. I came home and slept for 18 hours straight.

    Having enough RC to pay for every meal was nice

    Earned just a bit over 1500 TC in 3 days, that should keep my free rooms coming.

    I planned this trip to be pretty much all gambling which it was, but it wasn't fun at all. I like walking around checking out all the hotels and getting drunk more.

    I'll be back in April for a hopefully more exciting trip!

    Hopefully you enjoyed reading this boring TR! Any comments or questions feel free to ask.
     
  2. S'AllGoodMan

    S'AllGoodMan High-Roller

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    You are an f'in riot. That was an awesome trip report.

    But how can you drink more on your next trip? A case of beer gone in under 2 hrs is a feat to behold. Can't wait for your April trip.

    Beth
     
  3. BlueSkadoo

    BlueSkadoo VMB Sweetheart

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    At least you got a nice room and saw some va-jay-jay. :poke: :beer:
     
  4. dfalk

    dfalk VIP Whale

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    Here's some pics of my room and the amazing views it had.
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  5. habs0nut

    habs0nut VIP Whale

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    I enjoyed that, thanks for the laughs! :beer:
     
  6. vegasyaya

    vegasyaya Tourist

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    Thanks for writing, I enjoyed your report. Great score on that suite.
     
  7. Smo

    Smo Mr. Las Vegas

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    That has to be the most honest TR I have read.......yet! :cheers:

    Thanks.
     
  8. cnorth3865

    cnorth3865 Tourist

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    Sometimes a Lady Reads This

    This would be a good report exept for all the foul language. I just don't get why some people have to be crude. I enjoy reading all the posts, but please leave your gutter words in the gutter when they belong.
     
  9. UKFanatic

    UKFanatic The Arbiter of Taste Caviar Kid

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    Well that always makes for a winning trip
     
  10. golfnut

    golfnut Low-Roller

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    Just say no to drugs. But he'll yes to girls not wearing undies at mon ami.
     
  11. dfalk

    dfalk VIP Whale

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    Sorry buckwheat but my foul language is who I am. I sure as hell ain't gonna pretend to be someone I'm not just to please people like you on the I
    internet!

    Glad all you other guys enjoyed it
     
  12. AbFab

    AbFab Low-Roller

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    Well, I'm a lady and enjoyed your TR. :beer:
     
  13. captainron62

    captainron62 VIP Whale

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    Possibly the most honest and real trip report ever......instant classic!!!

    great TR
     
  14. kel3420

    kel3420 VIP Whale

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    Yep, a little raunchy, but I expect nothing less from what I am guessing are 20-somethings, on a Vegas message board, lol. Now, if you are two forty something married men, I'd be a little offended. lol

    "Stumbled my way back to PH trying to avoid all these weird ass people who think it's a good idea to wake up at 9 in the morning"

    Actually between 4-5 am for me, due to time zone difference, but I wouldn't classify my self a weirdo. ROFL I see guys like you all the time, usually not as late as 9 am though. Thats part of the fun for me at this early hour, having people still up from the night before still drinking and then the few others, like me, starting their day. I passed hubbie one time going up to our room with a beer in his hand as I was getting off elevator in search of my morning java and quiet gambling time.

    I am just wondering why you thought this was a crappy trip? You had a blast and did alot of stuff. Gambling gods weren't too good to you, but how often are they really? I hope you are giving your liver a well deserved break.

    :beer::beer::beer:
     
  15. jerseyguy

    jerseyguy VIP Whale

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    A plus for honesty about the drugs

    City jails are no place to vacation ,you'll need more than a good sense of humor if you dont make bail.
     
  16. Slick

    Slick Tourist

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    I enjoy a good raunchy language trip report! Well done!!!
     
  17. Dpin300

    Dpin300 Low-Roller

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    One of the best tr's i've ever read! Thanks for sharing
     
  18. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    Going to Hawaii's 9th Island!!
    Going to Hawaii's 9th island!!
  19. mdk63

    mdk63 Tourist

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    Wow, if you had more than $20 during your candy run this could have been the beginning of an epic movie series.

    Got to show this to a Vegas Buddy of mine. He thinks my consumption is epic; I'm a featherweight compared to this. :beer:
     
  20. saintpauljeff

    saintpauljeff VIP Whale

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    props to you dfalk, I couldn't believe what I read....someone actually posted a trip report where they didn't win :thumbsup:

    I loved playing BJ in the Ballys party pit myself, always had a good time over there
     
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