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Non-Live Recap July 8th-11th @ The Cosmopolitan for UFC 200

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Jarrod24, Jul 15, 2016.

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  1. Jarrod24

    Jarrod24 Tourist

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    My Trip Report

    I had been waiting for this trip for a some time. My girlfriend and I took our first trip to Vegas in October of 2015. Vegas Virgins we were, and it showed. We call it our Lewis and Clark trip. We stayed in the Venetian, did a small amount of gambling, ate at random places, and did a ton of site-seeing with our jaws dropped. On the plane ride home, we already knew we were going back, bigger and better, and with a plan.



    It was obvious we were going to stay at the Cosmopolitan for our 2nd trip after walking up to it during our 1st. The rooms with the balcony overlooking the fountains left us in awe and jealousy. The modern/hip vibe of the Cosmo was only a bonus. We had a busy first of the year in 2016. We were both in graduate school and had many exams and tests to do. The soonest we could get away was in July. I booked our room as well as one for a friend who was coming with us as soon as I was able to on the site. It was his first time to Vegas and we wanted to start his addiction in style. I managed to get a really good deal booking early, but I believe that was a mistake (this is called foreshadowing).



    The dates were set. July 8-11th. Flights were booked Southwest out of Dallas Love for about $250 each. Months and months of waiting until it was time. This was the 2nd to worst part of this whole trip. I felt like a kid counting down the days until Christmas. I had a nice bankroll for gambling, more than enough for nice meals and food. During the horrible wait leading up to the trip, I would get on the Cosmopolitan website and see where the room prices were shifting. They only went up. Way up. UFC 200 had the dates set for our weekend and they only increased. 300% to be exact. UFC 200?? Don't mind if I do!





    July 8th - Flight. Check-in. STK. Casino Royale. Video Poker. Keno. Sleep.



    Parked and shuttled over to the airport. Flight flight was on time. I love Southwest and the Love Field Airport. Never an issue, and when there is one, I don’t care. As long as I don’t get bent over with bag fees and they keep the prices low I’m fine. Ended up getting round trip tickets for $260, about $150 less per round trip than before. Arrived a few hours before the flight and that gave me enough time to wonder around and collect some Pokemon.


    450a259f-3e72-4f7b-9255-8b52ca341550.jpg



    Arrived in Vegas around 5 pm. Took us a second to locate the ride share area, but once we did we called our Uber. Used a $20 promo code, got to the Cosmo with only a $1.68 charge. We rang an UberXL because the girlfriends suitcases were massive and didn’t want to risk running out of room. Her suitcase weighed 48 pounds. Mine was about 6. Turns out mine was so light because I left half my shirts and underwear at home. (Cough.. Foreshadowing). Either way, compared to our first trip taxi price of around $50 w/tip, Uber/Lyft is my homeboy now.



    Arrived to the Cosmo to check-in around 6:30 pm. This is where things go South. Nice employees greeted us, check-in wait was not long. Front desk agent made great small talk while getting my two room’s paperwork and keys. We had a City Room for my friend and a Fountain View One-Bedroom Terrace for my girlfriend and me. Then he said our room numbers. Floor 18. I let out a tirade of curse words in my head that I'm sure the great Ozzy Osbourne himself would have winced at. But, I didn’t want to be confrontational. I just took it and hoped for the best. I figured there was a good reason we got one of, if not the worst floors. At capacity? Probably. We paid the least for our room type? Most likely.



    We get to our room and holy shit. Not only was it right by the elevators, it smelled like shit. Sewage or sulphur, we never pinpointed the source of the smell, but every time we turned on the faucets it hit us right in the face like a Jon Jones uppercut (or failed drug test). We opened the sliding door quickly to air out the room, hoping maybe we were confusing the smell with cleaning products used by housekeeping. We enjoyed the view for what it was, mostly the Bellagio parking garage with a dash of fountains. I ventured over to my friends room down the hall. Very west end of the 18th floor. Checked out his view and my jaw dropped. He had no view. It was blocked by some building. I was embarrassed. I had talked this hotel up so much to him in the months leading up to his first visit, and he was literally looking at a light grey wall out of his window. I explained that maybe we have to pay our dues first to get the better views, sighed, and we got ready for dinner.



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    The Gas Chamber of Death. Thanks Cosmo.


    fa4398cb-ea90-4269-94fa-538da7e8e857.jpg
    The view from our room. If you want to see the view from my friends room, just go put your head up against a wall.






    We had reservations at STK around 8:45. We were seated quickly. Loved the vibe. We’ve been to nice steakhouses in Dallas, and this was just as good. We devoured the Lil Brgrs they had for an app. I’d get a couple orders of those just for my main meal they were that good. Had a Pittsburgh black and rare Sirloin with Foie Gras on top. Sides of sweet corn pudding, mac and cheese, truffle fries. Ever had an orgasm while eating? The sweet corn pudding will do just that. Our waiter was amazing. I love people who speak fast and get to the point. No need to bullshit me and list off the rest, the dessert you just described sounds good. Big fucking cookie with ice cream came out and it was gone faster than Dana White's dream of UFC 200 being the best thing ever. Damage on the bill wasn’t bad at all. I guessed the total of the bill down to the dollar before we flipped it over. That was a good sign. (THIS IS CALLED FORESHADOWING).


    b99e6c2c-1bf9-4d05-869a-a688bdbe6d7c.jpg
    Get these. Worth it.

    a17088a9-d632-4d8b-a3f4-379b92823c75.jpg

    Girlfriend order her Medallion medium-rare, and it came out blue. She was a trooper and all the parts that weren't raw. They were busy and she was hangry. The other two steaks were cooked perfectly. We all can't be winners in Vegas, can we?




    Went back to the room to change back into our degenerate clothes. Room still smelled like shit. We read how the city had a lot of rain the week before with a bit of flooding and thought maybe it was messing with the sewer system. We changed and ventured over to the Casino Royale to play some craps and Buffalo. I mostly wanted my friend to see the place. Casino Royale reminds me of a dive bar I used to frequent when I was poor. Took a detour through Caesars and got lost. Used the opportunity to catch Pokemon. Got a Fat Tuesday drink, played some Buffalo as the tables were full. My friend did his sermon as how slot machines were a scam. He then put in $40 on a Buffalo Grand machine, and on his first spin won $80. I doubled my money to cover my Fat Tuesday drink and we left as quickly as we came and back to the Cosmo.

    f7adb99c-5420-4cca-8ca3-855dbcd18ac8.png
    Refilled up on some Poke"man Balls" while detouring through Caesars. Forgot to take pictures at Casino Royale. The new remodel was a good change I think.



    Got back to the room late. No idea what time it was. The room still smelled like shit. Girlfriend was tired and stayed in. Friend and I ventured down to play some Video Poker. I was going to stop at the Identity Desk to get a card, but they closed before we got there. Found a seat at the sportsbook bar. Lost $200 real fast To DDB. Friend was down $100, although he was holding the worst cards ever. Like 4,9,10 hoping for a straight. By the time I noticed how he was playing, it was too late. Decided to put $20 in and play some Cleopatra Keno?? I’ve never seen this before, might as well. Couldn’t figure out how to lower or raise the bet, so $2 a spin it was. Drunk logic. Hit a free spin bonus, nailed 1500 something credits, cashed out $410 and some change. I threw some $20's my friends way to see if that helped him, but he was cursed and couldn't win a thing.


    Cosmo has these refurbished cigarette machines that dispense art. I felt I needed to spice up my office space and picked up a couple pieces for myself and my girlfriend. Pretty neat souvenir for $5 each.

    291005094608919762-account_id=1.jpg

    I was exhausted and told my friend I was heading up to sleep. Gave him some pointers on picking up hookers and left him to roam around with the $300 he had in his pocket. Told me to call when he woke up so we could meet and start Day 2. (This is called foreshadowing as well) Went up to the room, still smelled like shit but I didn't care at this point. The 2 hour time difference hurt and I couldn’t keep up with Vegas.



    2836453856140164535-account_id=1.jpg
    Put me up or even for the first night. I spent a lot on booze though.

    Next post Coming Up-
    July 9th - Roaming Around. Missing Friend. New Room. I lost $$$. Total Rewards Saves the Day. UFC 200.
     
    Vegas #4 - The Solo Edition
  2. RynoBU

    RynoBU Low-Roller

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    Enjoying the report. Sorry about the room issues.
     
  3. Jarrod24

    Jarrod24 Tourist

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    July 9th - Roaming Around. Missing Friend. New Room. I lost $$$. Total Rewards Saves the Day. UFC 200.


    Girlfriend and I woke up at 9 am Vegas time. Room still smelled. Called my friend, no answer. I was getting hungry and sent off a tirade of texts to wake his ass up. Nothing. I guess he was sleeping in late. I hoped at least. Maybe he found a hooker? Ran into a drug dealer and got some molly, ended up on the roof of a hotel?

    I was starving and so was the girlfriend. So, we headed on out on Eggslut. One thing I love about the Cosmo is how everything is within a short walk. You don't have to worry about getting lost through the Casino maze. One thing I do hate is lines. And the line at Eggslut was long. We remembered seeing a McDonalds across the walkway and headed over there. It was an emergency. With a wad of cash we bought the cheapest meal we would have on the trip. Nothing beats McDonalds egg mcmuffins. Texted the friend to wake his ass up. We planned on getting tickets last minute for UFC 200 if the price was right, but I didn't want to buy any if his ass was in jail for picking up hookers. Still no response.




    After breakfast, we ventured over to the Bellagio and picked up my Mlife card. Lost the girlfriend and used the opportunity to sit down at a machine. She caught me about 5 spins in and wanted to go shopping. I cashed out up a quarter. A win is a win.

    Walked around Caesars for a bit and got lost again. Shopped a bit for some keepsakes. Moseyed on over to Planet Hollywood. Played a bunch there. FYI. Girls on Tables are amazing. Got my Total Rewards card, got a signup promo for a free buffet. Played around on a lot of slots. I fell in love with those slots that yell at you and have bright lights that give you seizures. Spent around an hour or two here and left a bit up. Ended up getting the buffet bonus real fast.



    Friend woke up around 2. He wasn’t arrested tyjesus. Who seriously sleeps till 2 in Vegas? I can't say anything, I went to bed before 2 each night. Met him down in the lobby in the Cosmo and I decided to ask the front desk what can be done about my room. Got moved with no issue to Floor 22. I guess anything was an improvement. Went back to our old room to pack up. Got to our new room, smelled like fresh linen and daisies. In the haste of packing up fast to escape the death grip of what would could only be called Mustard gas, we just threw all the clothes together and ran. Dear Cosmo, if you find my missing underwear in a drawer, please call me.


    GF wanted to nap, so my friend and I went down to play some slots. Got an Identity Card finally. Found some colossal slot machines and I kept losing over and over. Every machine my friend played on, he won. Slot machines weren't looking like a scam so much now to him, but to me they were. I believe he put in $60 and never looked back.


    About $200 or so down, I finally said no more. It was a hard choice too. Drink service at the Cosmo is great. I got drunk. We tipped big on drinks so the drink servers would be back within 5 minutes asking if we wanted another. This led to me chugging and chugging. I bet one girl made an easy $50 off me alone in an hour. I order beer with green olives, and one time the drink server forgot. Went up to take a piss and came back to find a glass full of green olives. That girl needs a trophy.

    We regrouped with the GF, and placed a few bets on some baseball and the UFC fight. Friend was up maybe $400 for the day at this point and blew a couple hundred on some games. All were longshots and all were losers. Ate at secret pizza. I accidentally spilled garlic salt all over my pizza. It shot out like a rocket. I still ate it and it was good. A guy next to me grabbed the garlic salt and did the same thing. I froze. I failed you Vegas bro.



    UFC 200 was a lost cause. We weren't impressed with the third or fourth new main-card and opted to forget it. Went over to the MGM for the first time. It was not my favorite place. Something just seemed off about it. I had about $300 I was willing to lose there and did just that in record time. My friend on the other hand, continued his winning streak ending up another $300.


    We left, at least one of us was happy. Went back to the Cosmo and went to see if Holsteins was still open. They were, got us a table. I had read about how amazing these burgers were and wanted to try them myself. I really don't remember it, I was either too buzzed or in heaven. We did get the lobster mac-n-cheese which was pretty damn good as well. After dinner, my friend brought a bottle of Jameson up to the balcony and we drank for a bit. I couldn't stay up any longer after a few drinks and crashed. Vegas Trip #2 was lacking debauchery at this point. I sent my friend out on his search for the now elusive Vegas hookers and slept soundly in my new best smelling room ever.



    00c3cc03-82e6-4166-95f9-dfc47a5cbcbc.jpg
    A big damn lion.



    84e1e388-dcd2-4fc5-a823-884c1abf42c3.jpg
    My ticket vs. Friends ticket.


    af1c480d-ea63-4c37-99b2-8d10359e63cb.jpg


    At least I had olives and beer.




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    And we thought this was funny. UFC 200 and people were sneaking in peaks.


    df8c33ec-8e6a-478c-b9cb-01875b1534b3.jpg

    The lobster mac-n-cheese. Again, why are the sides the best thing?



    Next Post

    July 10th - Breakfast. WINNING. Buffet. Tears. Recap.
     
    Vegas #4 - The Solo Edition
  4. Jarrod24

    Jarrod24 Tourist

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    July 10th - Breakfast. WINNING. Buffet. Tears. Recap.

    We all woke up around 930. We decided we were going to tough out the line at Eggslut. Got in line around 10, food in hand around 11. It was worth the wait, but I should have ordered lunch as well.

    77d7f7c1-efb5-47f5-9852-6697829c1511.jpg

    Took the friend over to Planet Hollywood so he could see the dancing girls. He stopped winning and only hovered, so his magic luck must have gone somewhere. And it went to me. I was down about $150 and switched to a machine next to him that I have no idea what it was. Had some magic unicorns or something. About 10 spins in max betting hit a bonus and pull this.

    3588.jpeg

    Cashed that fucker out fast. The girlfriend wasn't there to witness, she was out shopping. She came back with a bunch of bags. $500 spent at some beauty shop and Victoria's Secret. Welp, there goes that win.

    We played a lot longer at PH. Really, neither of us could lose after that. Ended up eating at the buffet there, which was ok. Good break in drinking mostly.

    Went back to the Cosmo to blow our winnings. Put in a $100 and was down to only a few spins left and hit this.

    3595.jpeg

    We continued to cause more trouble and drink more, ended the night up and drunk. Went back to the room and raided the mini bar for what was the only item I could fathom spending such a markup on.


    IMG_6320.JPG

    Woke up the next day to check out and see what damage was done. I had $1500 in cash on top of what I had. Somehow during all of this I ended up. I'm sure once I pay down the credit card from the meals and other fun/booze/shopping sprees, I'll be even. But who cares. I didn't lose and we had a blast.


    Got to the airport with no issue. Uber again was a beast of a deal. Taxi's are going to be out of business soon. Once we got to the airport, we found out our flight was delayed 2 hours. No big deal, I have a wad of cash and some slot machines to play. Ended up wasting two hours playing around, ended up only $50 up. Tip money for the shuttle driver! I put a fake name and ended up having it plastered all over the leaderboard. Not sure how long this will last until people start putting raunchy names.

    IMG_6355.JPG




    My friend of course, said he wanted to go back as soon as possible. Of course he did. He flew out of Vegas with $1300. Between the two of us, we felt like high rollers. Which was only made worse a few days later when we checked our Total Rewards accounts and saw comped rooms. I went ahead and told work I was going to be sick during the 2nd week of August, and booked our comped rooms at Caesars. Southwest had crazy cheap tickets around $150 round trip. Told a few of the girls at work and they're going to tag along as well. This trip was a 1 on the crazy scale. Next trip will be higher than an 8. Also, I don't care if the room stinks. It's free.
     

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    Vegas #4 - The Solo Edition
  5. Grandmaw

    Grandmaw Tourist

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    Sounds like you had a great trip - must have been, you are going back in August. I hope the slots treat you even nicer on that trip. Thanks for posting.
     
  6. Vegasworm

    Vegasworm Finger Clicker Extraordinaire

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    Nice recap! I love Cosmopolitan, but wouldn't have enjoyed the room issues. Glad you got a good smelling room eventually!

    I agree that Cosmo has good drink service. It's one of the few casinos I've gotten very tipsy from floor drinks. I tipped well too and the drinks just kept showing up......

    Great pictures and wins! Thanks for sharing. Funny seeing South Park on the TV in the back ground. Love that show. LOL

    Vegasworm
     
  7. luridludicloco

    luridludicloco Tourist

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    Entertaining report. Funniest line, "We planned on getting tickets last minute for UFC 200 if the price was right, but I didn't want to buy any if his ass was in jail for picking up hookers." LOL. Never heard of people going to jail in Vegas for picking up hookers, but maybe it happens. I think this trip report foreshadows another funny one next month. Thanks for sharing.
     
  8. bshowell

    bshowell VIP Whale

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    That was such a funny TR. Glad the room issue got fixed. But ew. Looking forward to hearing about your next trip.
     
  9. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    Such a fun read! Have never had a sewer smelling suite at Cosmo....you should have raised hell as soon as you checked in to be moved but happy you got a "daisy" room the next day! I wanted to tough out the line at Eggslut this week but didn't. Next time!

    Cosmo has great drink service. Usually I stay there, you were lucky you booked early as I couldn't use my 3 comped nights between July 9-14, sold out. So when we spent an afternoon gambling there Monday and had to make our way back to our hotel, I REALLY noticed how great the drink service was and how over-served we were.

    I always litter the Ghostbusters board with a fake name too, so loved reading that you did.

    Great report; looking forward to your August adventures!
     
  10. irishdave

    irishdave VIP Whale

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    Grat recap!
     
  11. Jarrod24

    Jarrod24 Tourist

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    Breanna, one of the reasons I'm going back so soon is Eggslut. Something about those eggs..
     
    Vegas #4 - The Solo Edition
  12. cvkelz

    cvkelz Extremely Low Roller- like, I barely roll at all.

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    Loved the report! Thanks for posting it. You have a very witty writing style. :)
     
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