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My first Royal Flush and met Royal Flusher

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by squidward, Jun 1, 2012.

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  1. squidward

    squidward Probationary Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    304
    Location:
    South Texas
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    52

    My Trip Report

    Day One:

    Flew out of Houston on Monday May 7th at 6:00 am on SWA; I had booked the flight in February before prices went up. The sub two hundred dollar round trip price seems to have vanished since then. The conspiracy theorists here in Houston blame it on the United/Continental merger that has eliminated most price competition between SWA and Continental.

    Originally I had three nights comped at MSS with a $10,000 slot tournament entry and went ahead and paid for Monday night ($36.00 Ruby rate) for a four night stay. Several weeks ago I received an two night comp offer from the Plaza with $50.00 free pay, so I booked that for Monday and Tuesday nights.

    Oh yea, this was another one of my "Business Trips". I was attending Interop (IT convention) at Mandalay Bay. I had won an up-grade to a Full Conference Pass from a vendor so I could attend all the special events and after parties that my little heart desired.

    I arrived at LAS at little after 7:00 am on a half full flight and made my way through a very crowded McCarren to the baggage claim area. I was amazed at all the people up and flying out of Vegas this early on a Monday morning. Observed many hung over and grumpy individuals on my walk through; I have never attempted the early departure from Vegas, looked painful!

    Any way, grabbed a cab for a short trip to Mandalay Bay to get my credentials for the conference. I checked my bags down-stairs by the cab stand, the Bell Hop sort of had an attitude since I was not staying there. Slipped him a finsky, and we were instantly best friends. Ferris Beuller was correct.

    Made the long trek from the Cab Stand to the Conference Center took care of "Business" and retrieved my bag from my new best friend. Then walked across the street, purchased a three-day bus pass and caught the SDX to get to beautiful Downtown Las Vegas.

    Got off the bus at around 10:00 am and stopped by the Fremont for a couple of $2.00 Heinekens, ahhh hit the spot! Got another Heineken to go and made my way through Binion's, through the Cal and over to Main Street Station. For the first time ever for me a room was not available for an early check-in, but the very nice clerk said it would be ready at 1:00 pm. Checked my bag with the Bell Hop, handed him a fiver, and now had another best friend!

    I had enough points on my Bconnected card to eat an early lunch at the Triple 7 bar. Had an average burger and fries with a couple of excellent King’s Kölsch Ales. The beers and friendly staff made up for the average food.

    Now it was time for Video Poker! Now I have hovered within 2,000 points of moving from Ruby to Sapphire status at the Bconnected slot club for years. As I tend to go to Vegas at the same times, May and January, my points always fall off before I return. So this time I promised myself that with my modest bankroll I would stick to low variance 9/6 JOB with the goal of racking up points and obtaining one of the coveted blue cards before I switch to higher variance DDB. I know I have such silly goals in life; my friends and family don't understand this, but I know many on this board understand my semi-obsessed aspiration.

    So instead of diving in at seat #1 and going after 4 of a kinds on DDB as usual, I sit at the end of the bar by the Buffet line. And my new modified routine starts; put the ole' Ruby card in, put the twenty in, select JOB, order a Pale Ale. Well I sit there happy as a lark, satisfied with my flushes, straits, occasional full houses, and many two-pair. Well five or six Pale Ales later I still have my original 80 credits left, my strategy is working!. Had a great early afternoon, put another 700 points in the card, was now drunk and loud telling stories and lies to anyone who happened to sit within ear-shot.

    Well I waltzed my very tipsy tail-end to the front desk and was assigned a double-queen room on the 14th floor overlooking the Plaza. Picked up a six pack of Heinekens and went upstairs to unpack. After these chores were done, and a couple of Heinekens too for good measure; it occurred to me as I was admiring my view that I needed to check in my room at the Plaza. So I grab another Heineken and head down stairs, across to the Cal, over to the Las Vegas Club (yes it still smells like farts in there) and cross the street to the Plaza.

    Now I have not stepped into the Plaza in over ten years, I have no idea why they sent me a comp? It was about 3:00 pm and there was no line at the front desk. I gave the lovely young clerk my license, credit card, with $20.00 in-between. That's right, a "Jackson Sandwich" or "The Ole' Twenty Dolla Holla" as they say. Without a bat of the eye, she welcomed me, confirmed my comped status and gave me the pass-keys to a room. She said with the sweetest smile "It's only a one bedroom, if you would like to wait an hour I can put you in a two bedroom?" Well now, that's three best friends I have made today. I said "The one bedroom will be fine, I am here all by myself (wink, wink!)" Oh the stupid things I do when I've had a few? She just giggled and said have a nice stay.

    Stopped by the gift shop, got a six-pack of Heinekens, went through the casino which did have a peculiar fruity odor, but not too bad though, and found the South Tower Elevators. There was a cute female security guard checking room keys. I made a stupid comment that this six-pack was my luggage and I did not need any help with it. She did not giggle.

    Up to the 24th floor, room 2446. One bedroom, large living room, one and a half baths, small wet bar, two flat screens w/many channels, and a large very comfortable king size bed. Two doors; one in bedroom and one in living room, the furniture was all new and nice, all the light fixtures worked, very sparse artwork, and a Krup coffee maker with plenty of little coffee packets thingies.

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    Living Room

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    Living Room View

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    Full Bath and Half Bath

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    Bedroom

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    Room Number

    (Why did I not remember this picture later that evening?)

    [​IMG]

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Anyway put up my luggage in the fridge, took pictures of the room, had a couple of Heinekens, set up the coffee maker so all I had to do was push the button when I needed a cup and went down for a serious perusal of the Plaza Casino.

    Went over to the slot club, picked up my Plaza Card and corrected all of my information on file. Yep I was correct, they had no records of my visit there for over ten years. Told the attendant how much I liked my beautiful suite; she double checked her computer and raised her eyebrows and gave me a unbelieving look. I said "It's amazing what a Jackson can do for a Front Desk Clerk's attitude", she said "Yea...try it here." I did; and she put a C-note on my free play instead of the fifty that came with my comp offer. And yes, another best friend I now have!

    Now I would like to tell you about how I found a good VP machine and turned that free play into some major cash then back to MSS for more low variance JOB like I had originally planned. But sometimes after ten or fifteen beers one changes their plans. So at about 4:00 pm my plans changed to this: Go Play Blackjack with a Table Full of Obnoxious Loud Drunk People! Now for those that might have the idea that finding a blackjack table full of obnoxious loud drunk people would be problematic at 4:00 pm on a Monday afternoon, you have never been to the Plaza at 4:00 pm on a Monday afternoon. I had several tables to choose from at $5.00 to $25.00. Now these tables are full of nice middle-age middle-class looking tourists of mixed gender....and most of them are loud, obnoxious, and hammered at 4:00 pm! I'm in heaven!

    Sat down at a $10.00 table with shoe and played $10.00 - $25.00 a hand with no particular strategy other than drunken hunches after drunken discussions with my table mates. I shared the table with 2 drunk brothers from Ohio that cussed continually, and a nice middle-aged lady from California who was even more drunk and had a bigger potty mouth than the Ohio boys? Many others came and went, the table stayed full the whole time I was there, My table mates accepted my obnoxious bragging about my Suite, Texas, SEC football, etc. without any complaints. Oh, and I had decided to switch to drinking J&B Scotch, as I have had enough beer (drunken logic?) Drinks came fast, frequent, and strong. We were all tipping $1 - $5 a round apiece. After several hours I was up $400.00, seeing double, and had declined to show my Suite to the nice lady from California several times. When all of the sudden, the brothers decided they did not like each other anymore. One brother took exception to the other and literally punched him so hard he fell out of his seat.... Security! Off they went assisted by about half a dozen security guards, it was sort of scary and hilarious at the same time (drunken logic.)

    Well I colored up and was going to cash out and get something to eat. Pit boss was in no mood to comp a meal after security had restored order, yea I tried, but she was not going to be my best friend?

    Well as I was walking (stumbling) towards the Cashiers Cage; I decided on another change in plans. That's right... there was a Craps table full of obnoxious, drunk, loud people, I needed to play Craps! What could possibly go wrong with this idea? Well... after a $300.00 loss later, and me being borderline full-tilt, I decided to cash out and get something to eat. My session was like this; make pass line bet... take double odds after point established... come bet... take double odds... make another come bet.... take double odds... seven out. Rinse...repeat.... over and over. Dammit! And I of course did not slow down my intake of scotch... cause I was tired of beer... remember?

    Some how I made the journey to McDonalds....why McDonalds? I don't know (drunken logic strikes again.) Make it back to South Tower Elevators and was stopped by very large female security guard. So this goes to prove the high level of security at the Plaza, very drunk individuals that can barley walk or talk cannot just get on the elevator here.

    She politely asks me and about a dozen others to show their room pass cards. While everyone else simply whips out their keys, I go on a drunken game of find my room card while trying to hold my two McDonalds bags and a very large orange drink. You know; check shirt pocket... nope; put the bags on the floor check front pockets...nope; pick up bags, hand the drink to the un-amused security guard, check left rear pocket.... nope; put down bags again and check right rear pocket..... bingo! So I pick up bags, retrieve my drink from the pissed security lady and am granted admittance to the elevators.

    The doors close and I wonder "What floor am I going too and what room number did I have again?" Anyway, I just push a number higher that everyone else on the elevator. They all get off at their respective floors and I take a ride up, then back down to the first floor. I get off and the security guard, just shakes her head at me. She says "Let me guess, you forgot your room number?" I mumble "Yes Mam". After I show her my ID, she radios someone and says, 2446. And I did manage to find my ID in the first pocket I checked this time, I'm improving. Well I made it up to the 24th floor and guess what? Yep, I forgot the room number. Back down to the first floor, as the doors open, the security lady just says "Oh Lord save me, its gonna be one of those days again.... follow me." So she escorts me to room 2446 opens the door for me, and I put my drink and McDonald sacks down, reach into my pocket for a tip, but she was already gone. Dang, just like the Pit Bosses here the poor woman did not want to be my best friend either.

    The next thing I remember is waking up at 1:00 am in a big huge king sized bed, butt naked, with a McDonalds sack full of kids-meals toys in one hand and a bottle of mouthwash in the other? Now for those wondering why kids meal toys and mouthwash.... hell if I know? Anyway, I get up, go push my coffee maker button, get dressed, use mouthwash, and count my cash (amazingly I had $50.00 more that I started the day with.) Grab my coffee, and head back to my other room at MSS. Thank goodness they had changed security guards down stairs, I was cringing at the thought of confronting the original lady again. So I got back to my room, drank some water, took three aspirin, got a wakeup call for 8:00 am and so ended my first day in Vegas.

    OK, that's Day One and I still have not hit my first Royal Flush or met Royal Flusher yet.... stay tuned!

     
  2. jimboguy

    jimboguy Blubbery Whale

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Salt Lake City, UT
    Trips to Las Vegas:
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    This is one of the most entertaining trip reports I have ever read. Perhaps I am biased because it features downtown (my favorite), but I'm thoroughly enjoying the writing style. I look forward to more.

    Hopefully that King's Kolsch will still be at MSS Labor Day weekend (when I will hopefully return). It's often a summer-seasonal.
     
  3. Adro85

    Adro85 Tourist

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2010
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Australia
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    2
    Holy shit that's outstanding. We'd get along like a house on fire, down to the switch from beer to Scotch, the two bags of McDonald's and the waking up with no clue how you ended up in that particular situation. Bravo, good sir. I look forward to reading the rest of this [STRIKE]shitshow[/STRIKE] trip report.

    Don't suppose you'll be around in mid-to-late August?
     
  4. techie223

    techie223 High-Roller

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2010
    Messages:
    967
    Location:
    Ottawa Canada
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    17
    Great report so far :beer:

    I have to ask if there's a reason for the route you took from MSS to Plaza? Seems kind of circuitous to me to cross the street to get to Cal, cut through to Las Vegas Club, then cross the street again to get to the Plaza. I know some people don't like walking the street in that area, though.

    Keep it coming!
     
  5. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Trips to Las Vegas:
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    Maybe it was more of that "drunken logic":evillaugh

    Enjoying the report!
     
    Christmas
    My wife's birthday
  6. DonD

    DonD Super Moderator

    Joined:
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    So Cal 91748
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    Great report! Last April, we had the two bedroom suite on the 23rd floor, room number 2346 and loved it. Had another couple with us and that made it great. Their TV's have more channels than I've ever seen in a hotel.
     
  7. technolight

    technolight Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Location:
    aberdeen scotland
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    Shit man stop it , the tears are running down my face with laughter, brilliant keep it up.
     
  8. KellyLovesVegas

    KellyLovesVegas certified personal trainer/retired space nerd

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Houston
    Trips to Las Vegas:
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    "The next thing I remember is waking up at 1:00 am in a big huge king sized bed, butt naked, with a McDonalds sack full of kids-meals toys in one hand and a bottle of mouthwash in the other? Now for those wondering why kids meal toys and mouthwash.... hell if I know? "

    :haha: :haha: :haha:

    Awesome! Can't wait to read what happens next!
     
  9. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
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    Location:
    Flusherville, Canada
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    Not sure how meeting R.F. can possibly top Room number Roulette! ;)

    Hysterical stuff!

    BTW, I have never, ever heard of the $20 trick resulting in a free-play 'upgrade'. That is some super-savvy gambling technique.
     
  10. trooth

    trooth Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2010
    Messages:
    251
    Trips to Las Vegas:
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    Great report. I thought I could put away a few drinks.:beer:

    Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
     
  11. Chuck2009x

    Chuck2009x VIP Whale

    Joined:
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    LOL.

    Hey, at least the happy meals toys were in your hand.
     
  12. Ahambone

    Ahambone Tourist

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2008
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    Trips to Las Vegas:
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    Can't wait to read the rest of this one!
     
  13. vegasqc

    vegasqc VIP Whale

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    made me spit my drink lol

    great report
     
  14. AliGee

    AliGee Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    My head hurts from laughing at your escapade with the room - good grief, you even had a picture of the door - ahahahahahahaaaaa!
     
  15. sammowhammo

    sammowhammo VIP Whale

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    Wow this is just day 1! Good thinking taking the picture of the door room number, too bad you were too drunk to remember it hahaha
     
  16. Vegas Dave

    Vegas Dave Newbie

    Joined:
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    Las Vegas
    Very entertaining sir!
     
  17. THESwigs

    THESwigs Tourist

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Wisconsin
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    Drunk, Can't remember, Butt naked, and more money than you started with......PRICELESS. Keep it coming(what you remember).
     
  18. dfalk

    dfalk VIP Whale

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    I would like to party with you sir! Very good so far, had me actually "lol" several time.
     
  19. squidward

    squidward Probationary Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Admittedly I do not take the shortest or most efficient route. I take the most entertaining route. I like walking around casinos? With my route I pass four or five bars. They do not have any bars on the sidewalks in this area of Main Street.

    Nahh, I do not feel threatened walking outside, even half naked (See my Day 2 adventures below.)
     
  20. squidward

    squidward Probationary Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    DAY TWO! Hang On, I Party Hard Again!

    Wake up call at 8:00 am.... Up and atom, rise and shine, time to move em' out. OK, it sort of hurts to crawl out of bed. But I had my Vegas breakfast (hangover cure)....Alka-Seltzer Plus orange flavor (Sober Logic.) Got dressed in my business casual attire, made it down to the MSS bar. Bar tender looks at me and asks "Pale Ale?" Why do they always do this when they see me? Anyway I pass on the Pale Ale and settle for a couple of cups of coffee while I continue my previously stated plan of playing low variance full-pay JoB and racking up more Bconnected points. So feeling caffeinated and just $40.00 lighter I head over to Binion's bus stop to take the SDX over to Mandalay Bay. Arrived at 10:00 am in time for the first of three conference sessions. After the first session of listening to industry experts drone on-and-on about the security aspects of mobile applications on an enterprise network I had worked up an appetite for lunch. I normally avoid eating at Mandalay Bay, but as I had skipped any substantial morning meal I was in dire need of sustenance other than beer or scotch.

    Met up with a couple of buddies of mine and we sent to the Red White and Blue restaurant. Short review - Service: Poor, Food: Uninspired/Bland, Cost: Not Cheap. Seriously, places like this is why I hate eating in Strip hotel restaurants. Wait staff was too busy socializing with each other and took forever to bring us barely warm sandwich/fries. My tab for a Pastrami sandwich, fries, two Heinekens and tip was $30.00. Blech! Must remember to get breakfast down-town before I leave for conference so I can hold out for a late lunch after I return for the rest of the trip.

    Back to the conference, picked up some invitations to several parties for later this week and after two more sessions I was on my way back to the California to register for the Slot Tournament that starts tomorrow.

    Stopped by the gift shop in the conference center and picked up a $6.00 16 ounce Heineken for my long walk to the bus stop. I made a leisurely walk through a very busy Mandalay Bay Casino and had to stop at the gift shop by the elevators for another big $6.00 Heineken. This beer got me all the way to the bus stop. Twenty-five minutes later I was back down-town at the Freemont Casino... why? To get another $2.00 Heineken, duhhh!

    So I made my way through Binion's to the California and stopped by the San Francisco Bar and played a little DDB video poker. Why? To get another Heineken.... are we clear on my activities here? So a half an hour later, three beers and still even-steven on this session of video poker I go up to the second floor to the Ohana Room to register for the tournament. The very welcoming staff gave me my information packet and changed my scheduled contest time to late after-noon for me. This way it was easier to maximize my time at the conference and still not have to worry about missing my sessions of the tournament.

    So back to my room at MSS for a couple of cold Heinekens and to change from my business casual outfit to my drunken degenerate gambler outfit. This ensemble consists of cargo shorts, flip-flops, my lucky orange thong man-panties, and my "Official Charlie Sheen" Duh, Winning T-shirt. That's right it's time to get serious about my activities. Yesterday was just a warm-up session....when I get out my lucky gambling thong I mean business... Party Hard as the kids say. Why does a middle aged clean cut white guy wear thong man-panties and Charlie Sheen T-shirts you are wondering.... well I'm sort of a "Nut" when I get to Vegas, for those who haven't figured this out by now.


    [​IMG]

    I remembered my $100.00 free play and should probably go visit my Suite at the Plaza so I make the MSS to Cal to Vegas Club to Plaza trek. Made it all the way on one Heineken this time, Yea!

    I found many 9/6 DDB video poker games in front of and to the left of the Swingers Club and some 9/7 DB to the right. Decided to play $1.00 9/7 DB and just used JOB strategy. Put in my card and followed the directions for free play and just like the slot club attendant promised there were 100 bones on the credit meter. It was a little after 5:00 pm and I would guess there were not three of us playing the machines in this area of the casino... the pit was busy like yesterday though. The cocktail waitress stopped by and said "J&B and Soda?" I looked up, smiled, and said "You remembered, huh?" She replied "OH YEA!" Hmmmmm.... I wondered what that was all about? Best not to think about it?

    So I did not argue with her and she never let my glass get empty, she never asked if I wanted another, just kept them coming. I cannot complain about the drink service or wonderful attitudes of the waitresses here. My favorite kind, middle aged, competent, fast, and a little on the surly side.

    The drinks were flowing, my machine was behaving nicely, no four of a kinds, just slowly building up the credits with Trips and Full Houses. At one time I got three Full Houses in a Row. Waitress got a fiver tip on that round. After an hour and a half I decided I needed to walk (stumble) around. I cashed out a $300.00 ticket, exchanged it for three Hundies at the cashier and went upstairs to the Suite 2446. Security guard from last night gave me the "Stink-Eye"; I just said "Top of the morning to you Lassie!" and toasted her with my drink as I walked by (with my pass card out.) She was not amused?

    Spent half an hour finishing off my drink, watched some TV, and made a nice little display of a thank you note, $10.00 tip, and McDonald Kids meal toys for the Maid. And left for a wobbly stroll to the Boars Head Bar at MSS to continue with my strategy of racking up points. I know, I have not spent much time at this Bconnected point building endeavor so far.... It's that damn Drunken Logic that keeps distracting me I tell you.

    So I sit down at the end of the Bar by the Buffet, Jose walks up a says "Hey! Pale Ale!" I reply, "Nope, J&B and Soda tonight." Once I switch from beer to scotch I never go back to beer. My projectile puking incident on a craps table at Binion's years ago has instilled this behavior into me.

    Oh, as a side note. I prefer blended scotch over single malts so I order J&B scotch as they will pour this from a bottle, when one orders Chivas Regal it comes out of a gun at MSS. Just don't trust anything alcoholic out of a gun at a bar.

    I sit fat and happy plinking away for the next hour or so at 25 cent full pay JOB, get 3 4OAK's, all with $2.00 scratch off cards, nothing picture worthy. I catch up with Jose the bartender. My first question to him is always the same "Where's Kelly? I didn't travel all this way to look at you!" Seriously for over ten years this is the first thing I say to this guy. He laughs like he never has heard this comment from me every time.... stupid, but I appreciate his patience with my warped sense of humor. Kelly is a very attractive female bartender at this bar for those that do not know.

    So in typical JOB tradition I torture myself with this little hand. Yep, the ole' 4-4's with Kicker on JOB for a whopping 125 credits.

    [​IMG]

    Ohhhhh... that hurts.... Now remember when using Drunken Logic it's like loosing $168.75 ((800-125) x .25) on a quarter machine. So I bet you can guess what happens to my play low variance JOB strategy. Yep, out the window with that silly crap, so I'm less than 1,000 points away from making it to Bconnected Sapphire level and I start playing quarter DDB.

    Was this a wise choice you ask? Hell yea, I told you I put on the lucky man-panties and my Charlie Sheen Duh, Winning T-shirt for a reason! Spent another hour or so and picked up this four-fours w/kicker and a few minutes later four aces wo/kicker so that's $400.00 back more than double what that damn JOB game cost me.

    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    And on top of this after I received my last scratch-off card I reinserted my Ruby Bconnected card the LED said "Congratulations....You are now Sapphire, see Bconnected Club for details." Wow... I finally made it....I'm so proud....Pit Bosses, Waitresses, Slot Club Attendants, Gift Ship Clerks and Bartenders will be so impressed with my little Blue Card! OK, got another case of Drunken Logic gone wild again.

    Went over to the Slot Club grinning ear to ear, asked what my spectacular gift would be for accomplishing this amazing feat... cause Drunken Logic tells me their must be something very special to be handed out to someone of my newly acquired status. Well the very bored attendant hands me a used deck of MSS cards, and says in a very monotone and surly voice "Congratulations." I just looked at her with a very disappointed look and replied "That's it?" So she handed me another deck of cards and said again with a bored monotone "Congratulations and Good Luck."

    Well, she was a real Debby-Downer, but I had my blue card! Went to the Triple 7 pub to use my points and have a cup of excellent chili with a Coke (No King’s Kölsch beer this time, remember my incident at Binion's.)

    So without sobering up even a little I head back to the MSS Bar, and whipped out my new Sapphire Bconnected card for Jose to admire. He just shrugged and said "It's about time, with the amount of time you spend here." Whoa.... no respect for the Blue! My visions of instant recognition of my elite status are shattered. So what was I to do? Feeling very dejected I put the brand spanking new Sapphire card in (Big Deal), put a twenty in, select JOB and start plinking away. Why did I play JOB instead of DDB as I have already achieved my goal of Sapphire. Come on the answer is as plain as can be.... Drunken Logic.

    But it didn't really matter because shortly I got this! That's right; in Spades! For the first time in my life I got the Royal! Hollered at Jose "Jose, I got a Royal!" His response without batting an eye "It's about time, with the amount of time you spend here." Seriously, you got to love this guy's dry humor, well I did anyway.

    [​IMG]

    After whipping out the obviously my very lucky new Sapphire card and getting my hand pay along with another scratch off card, the attendant asked me to play off the Royal, which I did. I still had $20.00 credit on the machine so I switched to $1.00 DDB, duhhh. Well after a few hands damn if I didn't get another 4OAK for another 250 bones!

    [​IMG]

    At this time I was really buzzing from the adrenaline after the Royal and the $1.00 4OAK so I decided to walk over to another of my favorite VP Bars. Went to the Main Street Bar at the California. This is the small Bar behind the escalators on the Main Street side of the Cal. A little known fact is that while the pay tables at quarter and half-dollar here suck, at a dollar they are 9/6 JOB and 9/6 DDB. Actually a better DDB pay table than the MSS Bar at the $1.00 level. So here I go with another J&B and soda, Lucky New Blue Card in the machine, Dollar DDB! I start off with four 2's w/no kicker $400.00, I holler loudly "Remember the Alamo!" Why?.... Drunken Logic!

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    Then I get four Kings another $250.00 for the amazingly lucky Blue Card! Again I holler something stupid. My tip's to the bartender are now at a finsky a scotch.... I'm happy.....Bartenders' happy..... the Lady sitting next to me is Really Pissed (wtf?)

    I'm not kidding, she is complaining to the bartender that I am too loud (I was), that I was drunk and out of control (I was), and that I shouldn't be taking pictures in a casino (I was.)

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    What she didn't realize was the astonishing ability of five-dollar tips can do to a bartenders attitude. Remember this lesson from yesterday Kids? Anyway my new best friend told her to pipe down, leave me alone, and informed her that it was perfectly OK for me to take pictures of My Machine. This Lady wouldn't stop complaining, she told me I was very rude for celebrating my wins, because not every one was winning. I was just being selfish!

    Now this lady was very nicely dressed, middle aged Asian woman, weird? But did I play nice and pipe down....Oh hell no. I just found a new game to play. It was see how pissed off I can get the nice Asian Lady. I would reach over and high-five the bartender every time I would get a moderately good pay, I increased my volume and bragging to new levels of drunken obnoxiousness. And then I hit another 4 Queens for another $250.00.

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    Now I make a huge production of taking a picture. I stand up with one foot on the bar stool and one foot on the foot-rest of the bar to take the picture. The whole time talking very loud smack about how lucky I am!

    OK, I finally pushed this poor woman to the breaking point. She reaches over to my machine and pushes the cash-out button! She goes totally bat-$h|t and with a loud shrill and demands the bartender to call security. Now I and the rest of the bar are cracking up and just shaking our heads and then four very stern looking security people show up. One with a jacket on, YIKES! Did I push it to far, was I finally going to get bounced out of a Casino again (remember my incident at Binion's years ago?)

    Nope, the dude in the Jacket never even looks at me. He asks the little lady if she touched my video poker machine. She sputtered and cussed and told them how unbearable I was to no avail. She begrudgingly decided to leave after they insisted. Geez, enough excitement already! I stuffed my lucky Blue Card and $900.00 ticket in my pocket. Cashed out and went back to my room at MSS to put my winnings in the safe after I made such a scene about winning just to piss off the not so nice little lady.

    Put everything but my original daily cash allotment into the safe, I was up over $2,000.00 and my original bankroll was 100% intact. It was not even midnight and I was pretty sure there was more scotch available in some casino somewhere so back out I went. Now I decided to go check out the remodeled Golden Gate. Grabbed a J&B at the Golden Gate bar, paid cash as there was no playable video poker there. Walked around and saw the new lobby, much improved. Visited the new Men's' Room, much improved. Went in the new High Limit area. It was not that high limit. Two $25.00 tables and a $100.00 table. But the music was not as loud in there, or maybe it was the scotch made it more tolerable. The dealers were smoking hot and even the Pit Critter was a looker. So I sat down at a $25.00 table with a very nicely dressed young couple and a couple of ladies celebrating one of theirs divorce. Now I was on my best behavior as I was trying not to make anyone else mad at me. Two pissed off women in two nights seemed to be just right in this category.

    Any way the cards were kind. Dealers and cocktail waitresses were tipped generously. We won some, we lost some, a drunken, but fairly muted, even polite good time was had by all. After a couple of hours and many J&B's later the hot Pit Critter was making sure that everyone of us had comped meals at Dupar's and offered rooms to anyone incase they needed them. I was OK with two rooms within easy walking distance, the young couple were OK as they were at the Golden Nugget. The Divorcees thought about it and decided to take her up on the deal as they were staying on the Strip and were both pretty hammered. The table colored up (I was up $150.00 and six or seven scotches) and we all cashed out and headed our separate ways.

    I stopped by the new and improved men's room and went out the valet entrance for my hike back to one of my rooms. Well the divorcees ladies were standing outside the Valet Entrance smoking and said "Hey, we were waiting for you!" I was like "Oh no, I'm not interested, I'm really drunk and need to get back to MSS, I have a conference to get to tomorrow." They just crack up and slur "No, silly. We love your shirt. Where did you get it?" What did I do? Looked them right in the eye and said "Gimme a hundred bucks and it's yours!"

    Damn if one of them didn't reach into her purse and hand me a hundred clams! So off my T-shirt went, I shoved the Franklin in my pocket and walked all the way to MSS with my man-boobs swinging in the breeze. I got a few weird stares as I kept to the side walk by the Vegas Club and the Cal. Then I walked right into the front corner door at MSS and attempted to walk through the casino to get to my room (damn Drunken Logic strikes again.) I made it to the craps tables when security gets on either side of me. One of the very big guards says "Sir; do you realize that you do not have a shirt on?" I say or mumble "Yessir, I sold my shirt to some ladies down the street." He then says "Sir I am going to ask you to leave the casino, we cannot have you here dressed like this." I explain that I am trying to get back to my room here at MSS. So they quickly escort me up to my room, and make sure that I went inside.

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    Well so ends the second day in Vegas. Lets recap shall we:

    Made Bconnected Sapphire Status - Check

    Got my first Royal Flush - Check

    Pissed off a Lady a Day for Two Days Running - Check

    Had Security put Me to Bed Two Days Running - Check

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    Well we are not done yet, I still have not met Royal Flusher, and more of my drunken antics of Fremont Street to come..... Stay tuned!


     
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