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My daughter-in-law doesn't like me.

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by LucyR., May 6, 2012.

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  1. LucyR.

    LucyR. VIP Whale

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    Mothers Day will be here soon and I only have one married adult son.
    I always ask him to bring me flowers and take me out to lunch.
    He was surprised that I am going to Vegas on May 9th til 11th... because him and his wife are going to Vegas on the 19th for the week-in to celebrate
    her birthday and anniversary. They got married in Vegas years ago.

    Here is my sad story... My daughter-in-law has never liked me or liked her
    own parents. I think she must be mentally ill because I have always been
    nice to her and her parents have done their best to raise her.

    The major flaw that her mother did in raising her was that they both like
    the dark side of life. By that I mean that they both like to read horror books and love Halloween. They decorate their house in darkness. They get sad
    when Halloween is over.LOL. My married grand-daughter got married on
    Halloween and her wedding ring is a skull design. She also doesn't like me.
    Boo...hoo...booo...hooo. I have learned to just leave them alone.

    My son loves his wife so I just spend time with him when he visits me once in awhile. I never get invited to visit them. I also prefer to stay away because I used to go home crying from her being mean to me.

    I went to Vegas with them years ago and they did me wrong by going out to
    breakfast and leaving me in my room. We had connecting rooms.
    My son did feel guilty but she didn't. My son is a real jerk too so birds of a feather fly together. I learned to never go with them to Vegas again.

    Now you all know why I am spending his inheritance.lol.

    When someone is toxic it is best to just leave them alone. She gets depressed a lot and is an unhappy person and I can't do nothing about it.
    I can never tell her nothing because she twists things to make me look bad to my son. He isn't very bright when it comes to relating and takes her side.

    Her old mother is sad that she doesn't get to talk or see her daughter.
    Something went wrong in their relationship a long time ago.

    I have a BLAST when I go to Vegas. I am an old gal now but I still know how to have fun. I raised my son and my job is done. I plan to move on in my life and not dwell on things I can't control. Lucy
     
  2. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    I'm glad that you took control of this situation and not dwell on things you cannot control.

    Be happy and enjoy life, just as you are doing now.

    I'm sorry but your son is a jerk if you have to keep asking him to bring you flowers for Mother's Day. He should be doing it without you having to ask.

    And about you spending his inheritance? You go, girl! I hope you spend it all....on yourself. He doesn't deserve it.

    Maybe I was harsh, but sons should cherish and remember their moms on Mother's Day.

    I wish you a Happy Mothers Day!:kiss:
     
    Going to Hawaii's 9th Island!!
    Going to Hawaii's 9th island!!
  3. merlin

    merlin VIP Whale

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    Newsflash! Many people don't like their inlaws, and vice versa.
     
  4. shokhead

    shokhead I'm no big spender!

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    Your job is never done as a parent until you or them are dead.
     
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  5. jpw711

    jpw711 VIP Whale

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    IF your looking for a new son, with a wife who likes everybody, pm me!
     
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  6. LucyR.

    LucyR. VIP Whale

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    Mothers DAY

    Electroguy, You are so right.... my son is a real jerk and disrespectful.
    For many years he would just mail me a card and I would just throw it away.
    He doesn't live far from me and could have called me instead.
    I don't plan to beg him anymore to visit me anymore because it makes me feel sad that I have to beg. I will just wait until he misses me and calls me.

    Shokhead, My job as a mother is done. Birds do fly away.
    I do love my son very much and always will. My door is open to when ever
    he needs me and I have a feeling he will someday. Lucy
     
  7. dfalk

    dfalk VIP Whale

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    I say piss on um. You don't need those kind of people in your life. My dads a total dick and I haven't said a word to him in 10 years. I only let fun and happy people in my life, the rest can go kick rocks.
     
  8. smartone

    smartone VIP Whale

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    Wow... I've always enjoyed your posts... till this one. You claim your son's a "jerk" and "isn't very bright" and others "don't like you".. work to improve things, relationships work both ways... OR move on. But the way you "paint" your family, it's no wonder you all haven't grown closer.
     
  9. Sdebruyne

    Sdebruyne Low-Roller

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    YIKES! I am not surprised that you don't get along with your family.

    I would never ASK for flowers or lunch from my children. I just enjoy my time with them. If you have to ask, then it loses it's meaning.

    I don't think anyone needs to "twist" your words to make you look bad. Posting these comments about your family does that. (True or not, these types of comment shouldn't be made publicly. My grandmother always said that it's not right to air your dirty laundry in public.)

    I agree with Shokhead, your job as a parent never ends. I hope you can move on with your life. Doesn't sound like there is much hope for a reconcilation with your son and his family. :(
     
  10. raraavis

    raraavis VIP Whale

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    always remember there are two sides to every story. i have a horrible relationship with my mom, and i know she tells everyone she has no idea why since she's such a nice person. well, guess what? she's not. so you may think you are the victim here, but how do you know you're really a nice person in regards to them (you didn't sound very nice in your post)? have you ever had a discussion with her or your son about this? open communication can really help. if it turns out that they really don't like you regardless of how nice you are to them, then there is nothing you can do.

    and to say someone is mentally ill just because they don't like you? are you kidding me? that sounds a bit narcissistic. not everyone is going to get along with everyone else. personalities clash. and what's wrong with horror books/movies or liking halloween? i love halloween; it's my favorite holiday! also, i can't imagine my significant other convincing me to not like my parents unless that sentiment was already present (even if it's on a subconscious level). just something to think about :peace:
     
  11. C0usineddie

    C0usineddie VIP Whale

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    I use to be an instructor at SERE school. Thats where military people go through a mock pow experience to acclimate them for it should it happen in real life.

    They would be under all sorts of stress that most people could not possible fathom and were expected to do their best. The thing is though that one mans best is not another mans best so people will try their best to get by and sometimes it may appear that they are giving up too much information or helping the enemy.

    One main key we always drilled into the studenst was that even if some do that, if they push them away then they will have no place to run except the the enemy.

    You had to accept them back into the fold. You might not trust them with all the sensitive info but at least they will be another person on your side at least to some degree.

    Same applies here. If you push your son away then he will have nowhere to go except to her.

    Its not like you have to turn a blind eye on the past though, just dont trust him with the sensitive stuff until he earns it.
     
  12. HoyaHeel

    HoyaHeel Grammar Police & Admin

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    That's so funny you write that - my first response when I read the OP was "well, there are three sides to every story - yours, theirs, and the truth":evillaugh

    I have 3 paternal units, 3 maternal units, and in-laws. I've had rough times with most of them at some point but have a great relationship with them all now. And thank goodness - they are all adult enough to be able to attend weddings & graduations etc without bitterness or rancor or tense moments......

    And I love Halloween too. It's my favorite holiday:thumbsup::wink2:
     
  13. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    Going to Hawaii's 9th Island!!
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  14. MangoPort

    MangoPort Low-Roller

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    Had started typing 'advice' before I re-read what you wrote and decided you just needed a place to vent.

    My parents warmed up to my wife immediately but it took some time to work the other way around. Honestly your son is the only one that can bridge that gap and if he's a jerk himself then it's not likely to improve anytime soon.
     
  15. Happily

    Happily High-Roller

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    If someone doesn't like you, there's a reason.

    Sad you throw those cards away.
     
  16. LucyR.

    LucyR. VIP Whale

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    I was just venting and some of you are right that I shouldn't show my dirty
    laundry in public.

    I have had a very sad life but now my life is better and I plan to enjoy it
    as much as possible.
    I feel better since I vented my feelings. It's good for me to do that once in
    awhile. But next time I will see a professional to do that. Lucy
     
  17. captainron62

    captainron62 VIP Whale

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    A daughter is for life, but a son is only a son 'till he gets a wife.

    My first wife was very jealous of my relationship with my Mother, it was the source of many fights. She would insist on Mothers Day we not visit my mom. It was the source of many uncomfortable conversations.

    I am the get along with everyone type, but I have realized many others are not. All through that my mom understood and just preferred I get along with my wife and not worry about her. She always said I was a good son and turned out well and that was enough for her.
     
  18. hammie

    hammie VIP Whale

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    Best post to this topic! :nworthy:

    Lucy, forget those chastizing you for airing your laundry. Its good to vent, even if this is a semi anonymous message board. Keeping stuff bottled up is no good. Rather than complain about your daughter in law to your son, ask him what can be done to have a better relationship? Don't complain about your DIL to your son. What's done is done, leave it in your rear view mirror and really forget about all of times you were slighted by your son and daughter in law. Don't pick at the wound or it will not heal. Life is too short and we should hold hands together while we are on earth. We can pick our friends, but not our relatives, and when your son said "I Do" to his bride, she became part of the package. Good luck. I recently lost my mother after a 5 year battle with Alzheimer's.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2012
  19. jerseyguy

    jerseyguy VIP Whale

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    Dr .Phil makes a good living off situations like this

    Dont feel alone,I dont know anyone,myself included who has had a perfect relationship with family ,both biological and extended .My best advice ,like many here said is to talk to a professional if this is causing you great pain that is affecting your normal life.
     
  20. LucyR.

    LucyR. VIP Whale

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    Mothers Day

    I still have my Mother so I plan to visit her on that day. She is 90yrs.old and it makes her really happy that I am visiting her.

    I have decided to let my adult son decide if he wants to visit me for Mothers Day from now on. I have been trying too hard to get along with him and want him to stay in my life. I never talk bad about his wife to him.

    His wife has always been jealous of me because my son and I have had a great relationship until it has gotten worse because of her talking bad about me. But my heart is getting cold and becoming neutral which means I am
    getting ready just to let go and let him decide if he wants me in his life.
    My door is open for him to visit me or stay in touch with me. Lucy
     
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