Last May in Las Vegas my beautiful wife actually said “I do”. Up to that point I thought it was all some sort of horrific joke and that she would answer with “Gotcha, I’m not marrying you, eewwww gross”. What better way to celebrate our belated anniversary then to revisit the place of so many poor decisions, hers included. I am lucky enough to visit Vegas 3 times a year, she is not so lucky. So for all the times she stayed at home and worked while I put on my degenerate jeans and strolled around Vegas, I felt she deserved the best trip I could give her (besides mushrooms). She has wanted nothing more than to stay at the Cosmo since the first time she saw all the shiny things inside. She loves the place, why she cannot have the same love for the El Cortez? Some things I will never understand. I told her repeatedly and profusely that I refused to pay the $2000 Cosmo wanted for the 5 nights, even showing her the website prices while shaking my fist and screaming “Who do they think they are charging these prices?” all the while I had already booked the Cosmo as an anniversary surprise. She thought we were staying at the Pho. I convinced her to pack for the 5 nights in a small bag considered to be a personal item on Spirit saving me $50. That’s quite an undertaking considering she packed different outfits for the days, the nights, the flight, the pool, the shows, Walgreen's and taking the taxi through the tunnel, all in one small bag. She took it on as a challenge and money savings aside; this almost guaranteed we wouldn't be spending much drinking/gambling time in a shopping mall. Here is my trip report for 5 nights in the city where all that glitters is guilt, so buckle up it's gonna be a ............relatively smooth ride.