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Kanak Attack Vegas

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Hawaiianmark, Mar 24, 2015.

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  1. Hawaiianmark

    Hawaiianmark Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Trips to Las Vegas:
    10

    My Trip Report

    Kanak Attack Vegas
    Every so often a time comes when you just have to go out and do something. You know; like getting up from the john, getting outta bed. Getting the hell outta Des Moines.
    In this case, getting to Vegas.
    The land of loose slots (riiiiiight) legalized prostitution, (not in Vegas itself; but...) free booze; (well....that beer actually cost 72.75...but its PENNY slots!!)...OK sarcasm finished.
    "Kanak" would be a euphemism for "old local hawaiian" or "well season old timer" possibly the large gent that eats too much and goes right to ZZZZZZZZZ.
    Without further wasted brain cells away we went from 3/18 to 3/23. Well.....23 and then some. We will get to that later in this god awful saga from the Pacific.
    Hawaiian Air outbound on my queen of all I owns benefits (score!) but....my grand kid Kekoa (7) has spring break assignment of "Flat Stanley". If you havent heard by yours or someone elses kids it is an assignment for them to mail a cut out of Stanley (who; flattend in accident can now fit under doors, in envelopes...etc) Knowing me; nothing good will come of this. But Stanley goes.....with me.

    See ya Papa!!!!!
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    So I do get on board; get to Vegas get Budget deal through Costco. Get to TheCal; promptly the bathroom as always attempts to kill and or emasculate me, but alas I again retain possession of my life; and testicles. So again a win!
    Bang away some VP. Play some craps. Always fun dealers at MSS & much better this time at TheCal. Did GN and Fremont craps wise. Nada good. Hit Sams Town for some shopping for son in law and THREE DOLLAR CRAPS ( this shouted because it seemed like at the table a played at that was needed)

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    Oh and this Royal Flush at Boars Head fuelled Craps euphoria!

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    The VP gods were nice to me; and made shopping for the family at home soooooo much easier!
    ***
    Craps...either I went off or PSO. The going off was great; the PSO can go flying fornicate itself with a stick.
    ***
    Jose at Boars Head is the best. I need not say more. Kelly; Olegg, Chris... all of them are great. Many good meals at 777 and Aloha Specialties. (Korean Chicken there is killer)
    ***
    I tend to see things quite askew; so the large lady in spandex with her legs wrapped around a peeny slot furiously (and I mean furiously HUMPING; thrusting, writhing) motions while banging the betting keys is pretty much etched in my mind. The guys in the micro womens bikini wear on Fremont...its whats wrong in this world. The older couple arguing on the shuttle times she won; he lost) but in his defense it was hiding behind the other bus, and sir; you did good with the hug and kiss salute.
    Any way more quads. More Craps.
    ***
    Met up with my friend from college and best man at my wedding and god father of my eldest son. Hit the GN rush lounge one night for a great time. Well the girl eating her boyfriends ear at the bar was a bit unnerving; but hey, cauliflower is healthful I hear. On the way back to TheCal large hooker type appears and asked my buddy where we were going, if we want a date, my compadre, every mindful, blares..."I got my date right here!" Thanks you doofus.
    ***

    Monday is leaving day; only I miss the 9am departure flight by one on my wifes pass. Before calling her I decide to throw 20 in the VP at McCarran (I never play at the airport) and get this . . .
    ***
    So call the wife; next flight not til 145am...Soooooo back down town. Determined to not give back anything (riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight again) A wonderfully quiet and mindful cabbie drops me off.
    Craps....the deuce.
    ***
    I go to MSS, quiet tables; only 3 at the one at the bottom of the escalators. Larger (as in tall; as in obnoxious)... as in playing the dark side.
    *Preemptive disclaimer to all lovers of dark side betting*
    I dont care that you bet that way; just have some class, you know almost all bet with the shooter; and if you are drinking like a fish and spilling drinks...well when this happens...yes, just walk away...walk away.
    Any way; I get to the table 2 shooters away from my toss. 1st guy throws some numbers; I am betting 2 way Yos and such and picking a number here, there. Dark side Johnny is laying numbers and betting fairly large on the Dont. (Thats fine...jus...I mean quietly scoop and its all good) He is throwing stacks of quarters here and there on the field; hitting many. Any how one point made; and he promptly side outs. Darkside Johnny turn; of course its whip the dice toss the dice, 3 throws and 7 out. I didnt garner a pass line bet...Why? I knew what was coming. Give the dealers credit; they treated him well; for his demeanor was...suckville. So I get the dice; and not to sound like a revengeful son of a bitch; but I like to make the go away. The dark side players. ONLY when they attitude it like this guy. So off we go. Point is 5. I pretty much throw every number known but the 5....for a while. He lays the nine. i throw a nine. He throws a big field bet; i throw a 6. Finally the 5.
    So he loudly says now I can say 7 right??? I just say "sure". He puts 100 on the pass line.
    I promptly threw craps 3.
    He was livid. I got a point of 8. He was just piling numbers with the lay bets and the dont pass.
    I threw the 8 hard.
    He reloads with whatever i guess; and promptly lost it all in the next few rolls i hit 4's 10's everything. Turned 200 buy in into 600 after plugging away a few more losing tosses. Dealers quietly acknowledged the player asshole like behavoir as well as the box. Didnt bring my tools; but fixed a problem!
    Finally got on the late flight not after hitting a quad on nickels just fooling around killing time at TheCal.
    Sorry I missed the meet at Red Zone; met my buddy too late too much fine drinking.
    Pebbles and Tony.....NEXT TIME damnit!!! Love ya.
    Hope it wasnt too boring.
    Oh one last thing....youngsters...DONT BE THE ASSHOLE THAT LIES ON THE FLOOR at McCarran. The Interent knows you are an ass.

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    Much Aloha to all.

    On Twitter as @Hawaiianmark and #kanakattackvegas if you have brain cells in need of killing.
     

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  2. macwjp

    macwjp Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Nice report sir, thanks for bringing us along :)
     
  3. NY lady- MidWest Cowboy

    NY lady- MidWest Cowboy Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    like your writing style....flat Stanley made me laugh..Congrats on your Royal
     
  4. Hawaiianmark

    Hawaiianmark Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Trips to Las Vegas:
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    Either for nuns or Star Wars I don't know which.

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    Just because...


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    Gratuitous Money Shot.


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    Thanks for the kudos...aloha
     

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  5. tringlomane

    tringlomane STP Addicted Beer Snob

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Great hits and report! Always fun to read!
     
  6. TIMSPEED

    TIMSPEED !địt mẹ!

    Joined:
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    LOL, those things on that back of that Mini, are Golf Bag holders, hahaha.
     
    Palace Tower Suite!
  7. La$Vega$

    La$Vega$ Low-Roller

    Joined:
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    Gr8 TR, hilarious writing!
     
  8. JosieCat

    JosieCat VIP Whale

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Fun trip report. Thanks for sharing it with us, loved the pics!
     
  9. LolaDoggie

    LolaDoggie VIP Whale

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    Why are you wearing a "hello my name is" sticker?
     
  10. dannyocean

    dannyocean High-Roller

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    Best Flat Stanley trip ever! Haha. Great report.
     
  11. Ty

    Ty ?

    Joined:
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    Great report. Thanks for sharing.
     
    Christmas Trip. Sam's Town & MSS
  12. airball1996

    airball1996 High-Roller

    Joined:
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    Nice trip report, Mark! Always a pleasant read.
     
  13. Hawaiianmark

    Hawaiianmark Low-Roller

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    Its just a play on those stickers T shirt - kinda like fake logo? Large impression of same is on the back it says "Aloha my name is...VS ... "Hello"

    Hes hungover; complains all the time on the trip yada yada this yada yada that. At least he picked the tab a few times. Terrible at Black Jack.

    Im no photog; and beer doesn't help but Mahalos!!!

    Someday Ill get a life! Thanks man best to you! The guy on TILT deserved ever bit.

    No. Really. Ya thnk?


    Good beeers to you my friend!


    Mahalo!


    Maypoloooooza for you at all???

    Miss the gang over at WBTALV......missed Pebbles and T only downer of this whole trip.


    Big Aloha all; hope all Yo's natural 21's and right spins follow you all!
     
  14. NCAAHoops

    NCAAHoops Low-Roller

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    I am going to stay with the nuns. Can not get the thought out of my head, two little nuns in there catching a ride down the strip. Enjoyable report and nice $$$$ shot:beer:
     
  15. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

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    Nice job, Mark! Great fun!
     
  16. airball1996

    airball1996 High-Roller

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    Unfortunately I'll miss them by a few weeks. :( I'll be there late May.
     
  17. Hawaiianmark

    Hawaiianmark Low-Roller

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    I was stopped dead in my tracks thinking that exact same thing!

    Thanks man!



    Thanks Oh Royalist of the Royals....that GN slant still a vacuum!!!
     
  18. Bgoll279

    Bgoll279 Tourist

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    Thanks for the TR. Enjoyed the read.
     
  19. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    Great fun read, Hawaiianmark! Love the pics and your happy-go-lucky attitude when doing Vegas! Looks like you did quite well on the gambling front!

    Could you tell us about that pic with you holding 4 purples, 3 blacks, and a green? Was it won at the craps tables?

    Thanks again for the entertaining trip report! By the way, where were those two cute nuns heading? :poke::beer:
     
    Going to Hawaii's 9th Island!!
    Going to Hawaii's 9th island!!
  20. Hawaiianmark

    Hawaiianmark Low-Roller

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    Ah Tanx man! Its easy to be joyous when you are winning; hard when losing but WTF might as well go out laughing.

    Yeah that was a winner at the Craps table (MSS) hit a bunch of numbers and had a darn long roll; about 25 / 30 minutes.

    The nuns said they were going to convent; but hinted a Chippendales.

    :nworthy:
     
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