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Just rambling about life & death

Discussion in 'Non-Vegas Chat' started by Joe, Sep 30, 2012.

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  1. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    This post has nothing to do with anything that you would care about, I’m just feeling very melancholy this morning and wanted to write. I'm not a blogger or Facebook person, I just post way too much on VMB. Well, I do have a FB account but mostly to see what my nephews are up to.:wink2: And to post political views. Verboten on VMG.:evillaugh

    We went to dinner last night with my oldest and dearest friend and his wife. I’ve known him since we went to kindergarten (1957) together. We stayed close through grade school, junior High and even though we went to different high schools, we always remained best of friends.

    I went off to college, he went into the trades but we still remained close. Almost 55 years now!:thumbsup: We still make it a point to get together a few times per year, even though we are about 80 miles apart. Last night a couple of bottles of wine, some great, dry aged, bacon wrapped filets and a good time had by all.

    After dinner, we got home and there was a message on the machine, and no I don’t walk around with a cell phone. My aunt died. 93 years old and suffering from dementia the last few years. So bad, she no longer knew me when I went to visit. Very hard.

    She was so independent up until about 3 years ago. Owned her own home and still cut her grass and went out and trimmed the bushes with a scissors.

    She was my mom’s youngest sister in a family of 14. Only 1 uncle left now. Mom died way back in 1992 at way too young an age. Damn cancer!

    Like I said, this post has no relevance to any of you, but I felt like writing. Put up with it for a day and I'll get back to Vegas stuff!
     
    Christmas
  2. JillyFromPhilly

    JillyFromPhilly Tourist

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    Sorry to hear about your aunt.

    It's a good thing to have a friend you've known for that long.

    I commend you on your choice of dry-aged filets :thumbsup:

    Every now & then it's healthy to be a little melancholy & reflective - without the sad times & the low moods, we'd never be truly able to appreciate happiness & good times...
     
  3. bigdogmom

    bigdogmom VIP Whale

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    It's o.k. Joe.

    Your aunt was fortunate to live such a long life AND to be able to live independently until age 90! I went through the dementia thing with my mom (who was 94 when she died) as well as Parkinson's with my dad (he died at 95). Both had been in very good health until those diseases hit and both needed full time care the last 2-3 years of their lives. It's horrible to watch strong, independent people you love lose their health, their independence, and their minds.

    Don't you love old friendships? I reconnected with my best friend from Jr. High on Facebook. She moved to Florida when we were 15; we kept in touch for a while but I guess life got in the way; when we reconnected two years ago we hadn't talked in about 35 years! I went to visit her two years ago and we immediately "clicked". I now have another trip to see her planned in November. :) My other closest friend is from college and she lives about 5 miles away now (a nice coincidence, since neither of us are originally from Colorado and college was in Utah) so we see each other regularly.
     
  4. Terry Benedict

    Terry Benedict VIP Whale

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    I rewrote my will this morning. Doing it brings a couple of tears to my eyes. I haven't done funeral planning yet. I think that one is going to be pretty hard to do. It sucks when someone comes up on me sniffling at my computer.

    My grandmother died last spring. She had nine kids, 25 grandkids, and 24 great-grandkids. My brother commented that she was the only one who could get all of us together, that we probably wouldn't have a gathering like that again. Ever.

    A couple of years ago, my Lady's best friend died of cancer in the same hospital where her neice was having a baby. On the same day. Talk about the circle of life...

    On a brighter note, our daughter is getting married next April. She is a great kid who is mature beyond her 20 years. She is marrying a a hard working guy who cherishes her. They moved into their first (my Lady says maybe their only) house this week. As I was looking at their wedding website this morning, I started sniffling again.

    Life is good.
     
  5. Electroguy563

    Electroguy563 Over-Fried Gambler

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    We need to reflect and put life into perspective every once in a while. Writing, being in a quiet place to think, or going off alone helps us try to put some kind of sense into life when it throws us a curve ball.

    When I get melancholy I go off alone to think and reflect. We get caught up in the busy hey-day of life and we need to slow down once in a while. Time to think back on our lives and the lives of our loved ones. To think of all the people who shaped, influenced, and guided us through-out the trials and tribulations we all face. Some of them are no longer with us and we smile and perhaps shed a tear or two when we think of the wisdom they gave us back then.

    Thinking, appreciating, and realizing life, death, the circle of life, etc., it's all good.:)

    Makes us stonger as we continue to live our lives.:thumbsup:
     
    Going to Hawaii's 9th Island!!
    Going to Hawaii's 9th island!!
  6. Jimbucc

    Jimbucc VIP Whale

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    "Each of us carries a burden that others can't see."

    Talk about anything you want here Joe.
     
  7. jerseyguy

    jerseyguy VIP Whale

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    You have to sit back and take a breath sometimes

    The older you get, the more loved ones and good friends you lose,it's all part of life not one of the good parts but it's one we all have to deal with. At my age(67) our circle of friends have mostly lost their parents but are now losing siblings and in some cases children in their 40's. You feel the way you feel because you loved your aunt and thats a good thing.
     
  8. LucyR.

    LucyR. VIP Whale

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    We don't die, the spirit of our loved ones still live

    It is sad when we lose a loved one. It gives me comfort to think that our spirits still live on the other side or in spirit. But we still need to mourn our
    loved ones who have gone to the other side or Heaven.

    I like to read books on how we can still contact our loved ones in the spirit world by "Mediums". There is a show like that on t.v.
    The well known Medium John Edwards does have a show in Vegas sometimes
    but I am not willing to pay $100. to go to his show in Vegas.

    My 90yr. old mom is now getting demented. I have told my sisters to be kind to her when she asks the same questions over and over.
    It does get frustrating.
    I think it will fall on my lap to take care of her funeral so I am going to plan ahead.

    Presently, I am mourning the loss of my doggie Winnie. I had her for 14yrs.
    She died on Sept. 14th this month. It gave me comfort to read books on
    how we still live in the spirit world when we die. I can feel her sometimes and I can also see her at times on her doggie bed.
    You could say it is my imagination that I feel her or see her but it does give me comfort. LucyR.
     
  9. Dean Martin

    Dean Martin VIP Whale

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    I'll just say there are a lot of very good posts here. Joe, thanks for starting it and it does mean something....more than you know. We all have parents and Freinds we have loved and lost and they will remain in our hearts for as long as we live. Every time I'm at Encore and I'm playing and hear Frank Sinatra sing The Days of Wine and Roses, I think about my Mom who loved that song and loved going to Reno every year. God Bless all of those who have passed before us that shared our love of "the game". Dino
     
  10. mike_m235

    mike_m235 Tourist

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    I probably have a different view of death than most of you. Just been around it too much. I find it best just not to think about it. I'm sure that's not healthy, but I do much better that way.
     
  11. Joe

    Joe VIP Whale

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    I just wanted to add this to my original post. My cousin (her daughter) and husband went and bought a slot machine for my aunt. She stayed with them for the last 3 years and played that machine almost daily.
    Previously, we used to take her to the local Indian casino about once a month. Once the memory problems set in, it was hopeless. But according to my cousin, she would go play that slot machine in their rec room daily. Kind of her only touch with former reality. She loved going to Vegas!!
     
    Christmas
  12. DonD

    DonD Super Moderator

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    I think we can all understand that Joe. :wink
     
  13. sammowhammo

    sammowhammo VIP Whale

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    Sorry about your Aunt. It was nice of you to get her that slot machine.

    My grandfather lived to 97. He told me he had more girlfriends after 85 (after my grandma died) than before he was married.
     
  14. ardee

    ardee VIP Whale

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    So sorry to hear about the sad news and (understandable) melancholy, Joe.

    It seems, no matter how long we have someone we care for in our lives, it's always hard to see them go.
    Lost my mother to cancer when I was 19 and I still think of her (and miss her) every day.

    It's nice to see a lot of thoughtful and kind responses to your post.
    Makes me feel a bit better about humanity today.
     
  15. bratkar

    bratkar Low-Roller

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    Joe,

    I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your aunt. Its never easy.

    This year we've lost 9 close friends/family this year. From grandfather, grandmother, father, best friends husband, etc. I'm just ready for the year to be over in hopes next year is a little brighter. I know its because we are getting older and its life and I know they are 'in a better place'. But I get selfish sometimes, I just want them around STILL.

    When it all started in March this year, like someone else I started reading (Maybe too many) books on death and coping. Now I just cant even stand to look at book. But they really helped me focus on something. Little things still trigger both my husband and I, but instead of crying we've moved on to a little smile and happy memories.

    Take care and know that she lived a great life and from the sounds of it, had a great family!

    Kelli
     
  16. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

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    Joe ,
    Sorry to hear about your Aunt.
    .
    My mother passed 4 yrs ago this Sept.
    It doesn't seem like 4 yrs ago ?
    She never knew that I was to have a son ( 9 mos old ,now).
    .
    My Aunt ( my mother's older sister) just turned 95.
    She lives alone....just stopped driving.
    We are trying to get her into care living --
    but she'll have "none of that."
    .
    My Dad is 89.....and still driving.....and goes to his school
    that he retired from years ago.
    They give him "consulting" things to do.
    It gives him "purpose" on a daily basis.
    He has out lived all his friends.
    I am dreading "the phone call" that will eventually come.
    I speak to him daily --- and we always end with "I love you."
    .
    sh*t....now I'm wiping my eyes at the computer.
     
  17. luvvp

    luvvp Tourist

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    If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,

    keep me in your heart,

    I'll stay there forever.


    Winnie the Pooh



    My nephew posted this on fb but it wouldn't let me copy & paste.
     
  18. wroberson

    wroberson Tourist

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    I'm not religious. I believe in life after death. It's not that I've been there. My sister died while being treated for breast cancer. She died at home in bed, My dad died too. He fell. The first impression I got was that it looked like he was in the process of getting up and may have had a heart attack. I don't know if he fell from the chair or fell while walking 20 feet to the kitchen. It stuck with me. I was watching "Through the Wormhole". A science program. They were asking the question "Do we live forever?". There is a plausible theory out there.

    It's called "Quantum Immortality".

    The problem with getting an answer is cause by our perspective. Or how we percieve the world around us. It's from the 1st person perspective. We will never know that we have died. 2nd and 3rd perspectives are looking in from the outside. That's one reason the doctor never says, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, there's been a complication. You're Dead." It's usually "You're dieing, and "You have 6 months to live" or something like that.

    I know I feel better knowing that my sister, eventually woke up in her own time. And that my dad managed to get up and go back to playing computer golf. I wouldn't take this things lightly, it's a decent coping mechanism.
     
  19. TheHangover

    TheHangover Low-Roller

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    Sorry to hear of your loss but if taking a little time to write your thoughts or feelings down helps you then that is great way to help,especially sometimes when just a little bit of help in life can go a long ways......Letting my feelings out has definately been one of my down falls I lost my my mom when I was 9 and my dad when I was 33. I still question alot of things in my head and wish I still had a "family" left. Hold on to your fond memories I hope they help get you through any tough moments you may have.
     
  20. Big Tip

    Big Tip VIP Whale

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    Talking about melancholy, I was looking up old girl friends on Facebook. I know I am the only one to ever do this! But anyway, I found one from college. Then I Googled her, and her obituary came up. Ugh. It was a very strange feeling.
     
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