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june 3-8 "show the cripple some nipple"

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by chef, Jun 9, 2007.

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  1. chef

    chef Resident Buffetologist

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    My Trip Report

    "Love the shirt", "You ought to patent it", "Let me take your picture", "Now, there's someone with the right attitude", "Neat idea", etc.
    The results were overwhelming.
    Anytime my wheelchair friend had his "SHOW THE CRIPPLE SOME NIPPLE" shirt on, it was an attention-getter. Starting in FSE Sunday night and many places on the Strip later in the week, there were a ton of people laughing their arses off.
    Once, a person got a glance at it, they would turn to others in their party and say, 'Look at the shirt that guys has on'. Then, it would set off a chain reaction of hoots and hollers from others within viewing distance.
    It even temporarily stopped the tables games at the Hard Rock. One of the BJ dealers saw my friend in the shirt and starting laughing so hard that everyone at his table turned around to see what the commotion was. Then, other dealers, pit bosses and players at other tables did the same.
    This also served as a social experiment. In this day and age of political-correctiveness, it was refreshing to see someone in a wheelchair able to refer to himself as a cripple and the positive response it elicted. Nearly everyone got the humor.
    And, you also had the element of sex. It was a perfect slogan. I just wonder if it would have played so well in Peoria?
    Anyway, back to the TR.
    My friend was shown some nipple, but it was more in the form of what the girls at the Olympic Gardens had to offer. Some of you may remember my TR (with my wheelchair biddy) from a year ago, where this very topic was discussed.
    Here are the final results from four days spent at the OG by my friend:
    110 (some were two girls at once he he counted them as two)) lap dances received, 14 hours logged, $320 bar tab, $800-plus for one particular girl, $300 for another, plus a few minor bruises for himself and one of girls from all the bumping and grinding on the wheelchair. The reasons the lap dances were closely tabulated is that a lawyer in our hometown was planning on submitting it to the Guiness Book of World Records as a record for most lap dances received by a parapalegic.
    To put it another perspective, of all the money my friend spent on this Vegas trip, 78% (not counting airfare) went to the Olympic Gardens. On the plane back, we did a cost analysis.
    He did have a big smile on his face, though.

    Back to the trip itself. We flew RT from Rockford, IL on Allegiant. Stayed at the Plaza Sunday and at Planet Hollywood ($49, thanks T2V Hotel Offer section) from Monday-Friday.
    Sorry to mention this Hoya Heel (I know you're geared up for it), but I didn't care for the pool area at PH. Poor layout and design. No drink service (other than walking a long distance to the bar), not much room around pools (there are two) to lay out and the pools themselves aren't anything special.
    It's a shame because there is a huge area away from the pools that isn't being utilized for anything except open space.
    Another gripe at PH was difficulty in navigation. They still haven't put signage up and by all indications, doesn't appear as they will. The casino basically appears done.
    We ate at the buffet for lunch and it was as good as I remember from a couple years ago. For me, highlight is the extensive middle-Eastern section.
    PH is still in process of getting other restaurants up and running. Plus, they will have one of the best sports books in town, but it is shrouded in secrecy until the big unveiling.
    For those planning a stay at PH, I think you will be pleased. A few minor bugs here and there, but we enjoyed the vibe, the customer service and especially the rooms.
    For me, the gambling highlight was seeing my friend win about $500 playing $25/hand BJ at the Wynn outdoor table. After a couple hours of play, the pit boss even asked if 'there was anything he could do for him'. That was neat to see him get some money back in his pockets after dropping so much at the OG.
    After winning 14 straight blackjack hands on matchplays on my last trip, I knew my luck wouldn't continue. It didn't, but I came out a little ahead. I also learned how to play a new game - video poker. I can see how it can become addicting.
    For shows, we took in "Stomp Out Loud" at PH (free with $49 room special) and Jubilee (free with players card sign-up) at Ballys. Both were quality acts and quite diverse from one another.
    Stomp was exactly what the name implies. It was different from any mainstream entertainment I've been exposed to.
    As far as Jubilee, I had never seen a lavish Vegas production show and had been wanting to experience one. Being a 49-year old, I enjoyed it, but wondered how much longer shows like this will retain interest.
    I could see it finding the junk-pile, much the way a place like the Stardust is impoded.
    I can't report much on dining, as my friend is somewhat limited in eating. While he was at the OG one day, I hit up Paris for the buffet ($4.30) with POV $10 coupon. Got there at 10:30 and had both breakfast and lunch. Best money spent on the trip.
    Sunday, we tried the Plaza's $7.77 all day buffet. With the POV 2-1, it was okay. Don't make this a destination stop, though.
    We used the CAT bus system. I miss not having a rental car, but it works out better for him to bus it.
    God bless though drivers on the DUECE. I don't think I could tolerate all the dumb questions from the tourists and the crap from other idiots.
    This TR wouldn't be complete without kudos to a T2V member that provided unlikely assistance to my friend. In fact, he doesn't even know he did this.
    By the way, if you are the squeamish type, please do not read any further.
    My friend also has some issues with, shall we say, "taking a dump". Sometimes, it can be hard to regulate. And, if he is going to be at a strip club, that is the last place he wants to have it happen as he needs some assistance )getting on and off a toilet, etc) with the process.
    While on the throne, reading something helps relax his spinctor and lets him go. Hell, who hasn't done this. Anyway, he brought a couple magazines out with him, one of which was a recent issue of NEVADA.
    After I got him situated on the toilet, he asked for one of his magazines and I brought him the NEVADA mag. Lo-and-behold, he opened it up to page 54 and started reading a golf article by one Ken Van Vecthen.
    Ken's article must have done the trick, because shortly afterwards, my friend was relieved to say he got the job done.
    Thanks Ken for making my friend's bowel movement one of ease.
     
  2. SH0CK

    SH0CK Stylin' and Profilin' Quasi Tech Admin

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    Not... going... to... comment...

    Sounds like you guys had some fun Chef. Good job buddy :thumbsup:
     
  3. DonD

    DonD Super Moderator

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    I love the Trip Report Chef. At least we can't say that Ken's article is not worth a shiat.:poke:
     
  4. gmoney590

    gmoney590 VIP Whale

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    Great TR; and here's another cost analysis:

    14 hours of lap dances 1100.00+
    14 hour bar bill 320.00
    A smile that will last until the next trip Priceless

    Your friend has one hell of a sense of humor and screw the PC world.:nworthy:
     
    Back where we belong
  5. HoyaHeel

    HoyaHeel Grammar Police & Admin

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    Chef--that doesn't sound like the PH pools have been remodeled--sounds like the same setup as the Aladdin pools were (except Aladdin had cocktail service) I figured they'd be adding some cabanas or something else exciting like that. 2 boring pools doesn't bother me--I just need something wet to cool off from the 100+ temps.

    Sounds like you had a lot of fun though--keep us updated on the Guinness record quest!!!
     
  6. doctor_al

    doctor_al VIP Whale

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    Glad your friend had a good trip. Great TR, right to the end...
     
  7. Dean Martin

    Dean Martin VIP Whale

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    What a great TR and kudo's to your buddy for getting out to Vegas given his obvious obstacles and to you for being such a great freind. I was just telling a freind of mine the other day that if we don't learn to quit taking ourselves so seriuosly we're going to see this country implode in a pool of political correctness. It's simple... instead of being so pissy and bitchy, laugh at yourself once in a while... it's good for the soul. I'm actually surprised your buddy didn't get some fun drunk girl/s flashing their titties at him...after all..it is Vegas..:)
     
  8. Booger

    Booger Tourist

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    Good for you Chef,That's one trip he won't be forgetting anytime soon!!
    Thanks...
     
  9. sanonofresurfer

    sanonofresurfer Dude

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    Great report Chef. Sounds like a fun time. Next year, you'll have to work on a wheel-chair cam.:evillaugh
     
  10. Jer

    Jer VIP Whale

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    I say we patent the saying and throw the shirts on the net to fund his next outing... :thumbsup:

    Good times...Good times....
     
  11. Dean Martin

    Dean Martin VIP Whale

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    Most excellent idea...:)
     
  12. Nevyn

    Nevyn VIP Whale

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    Strange, my "show the fat guy your tits" shirt never got this positive a reaction!

    Probably because it didn't rhyme.
     
  13. IllMarty

    IllMarty Orangutan

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    Very nice TR Andy. If you look up "friend" in the dictionary, I am sure your picture will be there.

    Marty
     
  14. Beach Crazy

    Beach Crazy Hostess With the Mostess

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    Very nice Chef! Sounds like you two didn't let the wheelchair stand in your way of a good time.

    I think it's time you climb back on that horse and try your luck at the blackjack matchplays. :)
     
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