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I Saw Macker Kissing Santa Ho's: Beejay, Gaggles, Macker Inc 5th Annual Xmas Live!

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Gaggles, Nov 30, 2012.

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  1. Gaggles

    Gaggles VIP Whale

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    My Trip Report

    Hello and welcome to what is sure to be another Christmas Classic. Beejay brought up the fact that we are already in our 5th annual pilgrimage to Vegas for a little pre-Xmas cheer. How time flies.

    A lot of consideration was given to the title of this TR. It needed a wholesome Christmas theme with a dash of PG-13 thrown in to entice you to read it. A hook if you will. Some of the titles considered, manipulating famous Christmas songs, were:

    - Rocking Around a Cosmo Suite
    - The Most Wonderful Time of the Year Violated by.....

    You get the picture.

    So we depart in 13 sleeps. Yes it is a little early to start the TR but in lieu of Beejay starting one 30 days before one of his recent trips...I thought 13 days was more than reasonable.

    There are many other players that may or may NOT be coming on this trip. it depends on whose wife you talk to I suppose. I can confirm the above in the TR title as well as Big Sack and BNK. As I said...there may be others or there may not. Let's just say "We'd like to avoid any Imperial entanglements...." (Some may or may not catch a classic Star Wars reference there).

    Despite out best efforts much of the trip is already structured.

    There will be the now standard trip to the Golden Gate to see Steve Pedroza. There will be an afternoon or two at Qua. There will be numerous incognito trips by Beejay to the roulette wheel for $100 spins while he "just goes to the bathroom". There will be pre-game drinks in the Cosmo Suite that Beejay literally bamboozled the Cosmo into giving him. He will have to tell you that story. There will be bar tops, royals, and absolute random patterns of gambling violence! No one needs to hit any status's on any cards as Diamond, Platinum, or whatever have all been hit at all properties so it promises to be impulsive and fun.

    We are scattered likes sticks in the wind. I am at PH in a nice little resort room, some are at Bally's, and Imperial. I can't keep track anymore if Beejay is at PH or if he has kept his room at Palazoo. I do know he has Cosmo for two nights.

    Without further adieu I present the start of "I Saw Macker Kissing Santa Ho's" which, I am sure we will......

    Now to get you in the Christmas spirit here is the start of our TR with a little altered Christmas carol. In your head put it to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I have started it, feel free to add on or finish it:


    "Macker the degenerate gambler.."
    "Snorted all of Beejay's cocaine.."
    "And when the police found him.."
    "He didn't even know his name.."

    Welcome to our TR. We will do our best to keep it Live as we go. Between the 6-8 of us I know you will be getting numerous live stuff!
     
  2. mike mc

    mike mc High-Roller

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    Be there myself 12/15 thru 12/18 at PH, maybe I can get thru your security entourage to hang a bit with you guys? We are Low rollers , but to have a slight addiction to max quantities of VP, Grey Goose and Ketel :drunk:
     
    Just Click The Book It Button It's Easy
  3. Nevyn

    Nevyn VIP Whale

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    You're an excellent hooker.
     
  4. TheHangover

    TheHangover Low-Roller

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    TOTALLY MADE ME THINK OF VEGAS VACATION....CLARK GRISWALD! :thumbsup:
     
  5. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

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    Just when we hit the longest, darkest days of the year here in Flusherville... something to look forward to!

    Get on that Boner Deluxe and ride it!
     
  6. vegasqc

    vegasqc VIP Whale

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    cant wait to read this one just the intro had me lol a few times
     
  7. nsideirish

    nsideirish Low-Roller

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  8. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    If only those "bathroom roulette spins" were only $100, I would probably be tens of thousands of dollars richer right now.:cry::cry::cry:

    Other than that, Gaggles description is spot on for the upcoming fiasco.

    It's gonna be a real barn burner with the forementioned guests along with slatwarts Maddy Ice, Borat, and the return of classic VMB'er JNCVH. :beer:

    Not quite the room bamboozling magic Gaggles insinuates, but my trio was able to deftly combine a Cosmo cyber Monday deal and a Cosmo comp and now we'll be spending all 3 nights at The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas--first night in the Terrace Studio, second and third nights in Wraparound Terrace Suite---all are alleged to be Bellagio Fountain View.:nworthy:

    Couldn't finagle the limo xfer so El Presidente will be getting a little bizness upon arrival....assuming we'll be hitchhiking shirtless on the way back to the airport, if we return at all.:nono:

    A little background:

    The genesis of this trip was a drunken night in SoHo/Chelsea with Borat which ended in a stumbling BeeeJay speaking in tongues and more falling forward thru ChinaTown than walking and then receiving a combo lap dance/pole dance from an even drunker gal on the Path train. After all this my fate was set, Vegas was back on the winter agenda. Somewhere in the evening the evil genius Steve Wynn sent an email comp to my phone which was reserved from a loud bar between shots. :drunk:

    [​IMG]

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    This Wynn room was eventually replaced with comp room offers at Aria then Paris then Palazzo then P.Ho, and finally a last minute move to Cosmo. My unrequited love, The Bellagio, never did make a pass, that dirty whooore.:grrr::grrr::grrr:

    The training began early for this trip. As soon as I wrapped up the fall busy season at the Times Square Red Lobster

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    escaping just in time to avoid this :wave::

    [​IMG]

    I turned in my quarter tips at CoinStar and hopped the first boat back to Chicago to begin my Olympic-like training in ernest.

    Diet :licklips: was the first thing I addressed. I needed energy and bulk so I located the Chicago version of a Vegas classic:

    [​IMG]

    And just when traffic down to the HHAGG got unbearable I was saved by the jumbo can of Diet Dew and Bogo Big Mac Specials (keeping it both classy AND healthy to meet my “balanced scorecared approach”:

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    [​IMG]

    I sorta fell of the training wagon for a bit, not Michael Phelps style or anything, but Husker and Chicago Bears football season cut into my focus a bit:

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    I really got back on the stick realizing on the evening of Black Friday that I must really batten down the hatches and focus. Therefore after fighting the crowds at Target, I ignored the big screen TV’s and picked up a more important set of commodities:

    [​IMG]

    Then I ingeniously began to incorporate my Vegas training into my work helping the kids with their homework:

    [​IMG]

    Not to mention the Vegas Strip role playing drills with the boys over at Walgreens:

    [​IMG]

    Finally the mailers with almost daily $80 freeplay began rolling in from the local Rivers casino in Des Plaines and it was time to shake the rust of the good ole Video Poker skilz. Needless to say this has padded the bankroll quite nicely, to the tune of just under $4,000 net gain in November:

    [​IMG]
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    [​IMG]

    I even figured out a fool proof system to win. I tell my wife to leave, she pretends to go to the bathroom, and I hit quads. :evillaugh

    This should work out perfectly as she will not be in Vegas. Anyway, the Vegas fund is stocked with about $3,500 in singles from those Red Lobster Times Square tourists, plus some 50 cent pieces from the Canadian tippers. A backup fund of $4,000 from the good run at Rivers has been placed in a new separate Vegas-Only account for which I’ll be bringing the debit card, and most importantly a fantastically detailed plan to play only quarter JOB video poker and $3 blackjack has been painstakingly designed to make sure I am able to AVERT the fiscal cliff of gambling losses and W-2G AGI phaseouts.:poke:

    I’ve made my list, I’ve checked it twice. I’m ready to spank every hooker on the strip, doesn’t matter if she’s naughty :ssst: or nice :wink2:, cause BeeeJay and the crew are coming to town!!!
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2012
  9. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

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    Savvy Boner Deluxe play!
     
  10. CenterfieldNine

    CenterfieldNine Low-Roller

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    Very ironic beejay, you must be near me--was just at rivers last night! Doubled my bankroll and it was a sweet visit!

    Have a great time in Vegas! Ill keep an eye on this thread... Hilarity may ensue
     
  11. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    except for the four drawn 3's on the dealt Ace, that was a real bag of dicks.
     
  12. shiny

    shiny Low-Roller

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    I'm so glad to see you posting again at VMB! Hope that Borat and JNCVH will post as well. You certainly had great luck with the full pay Bonus Poker Deluxe at your local casinos, didn't you? 400-coin win of the 4OAK is so sweet, especially at $2 level! Wish you the very best luck of BIG BIG BIG winnings at Vegas! You deserve them! :beer:
     
  13. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    for your files:

    [​IMG]
     
  14. evoni

    evoni High-Roller

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    BeeeJay, you leaving on the 15th or 16th to return home?
     
  15. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    Flight out on Sunday 16th is around 1pm

    Hey I see you are going to be in town Saturday? Any meet ups scheduled for that night? Our downtown night is Friday so I think the crew is planning on spending Sat night on the strip and certainly open to meet! :)
     
  16. evoni

    evoni High-Roller

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    This was a last minute 2 night trip for me to meet up with a girlfriend so I don't know if there are any Meets schedule by any groups on Saturday.

    Would love to meet up to say hi. I'll be around Bellagio late morning for lunch at Bellagio and also be around CP at 7pm for dinner, and then walking over with a friend to Bellagio and Aria for some gambling. Later that evening I'll be back at Palazzo and Venetian. I'll send you a PM to check and make sure the cell number I have for you is still good and provide you with mine again. :)
     
  17. Huddler

    Huddler VIP Whale

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    I am subscribing to another sure to be classic!:beer:
     
  18. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    Was really hoping you were posting to say you were gonna be there!!!:beer:
     
  19. Huddler

    Huddler VIP Whale

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    I wish I had known you guys were going that weekend. I am already booked for this Thursday through Sunday! :evillaugh
     
  20. BeeeJay

    BeeeJay President of The Red Lobster Hostess Satisfaction

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    Nice!!!

    I'll be enjoying the family trip to Mall of America. Tried to push for the cruise like you, but the girls were deterred by that Italian boat accident. At least now I get to see the Bears put the beatdown on the Vikings live.

    Well I assume by the time we arrive foot traffic on the strip will be slowed to a crawl what with all the hot chicks limping bow-legged after your visit. Hope you have some long rolls on the craps tables!!!
     
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