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"I feel like Michael Jackson in a day care centre!": April 27 - May 1, with photos

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by SweetP, May 14, 2006.

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  1. SweetP

    SweetP Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2005
    Messages:
    141
    Location:
    Toronto
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    6

    My Trip Report

    Travellers: Myself, Hubby (Buck), best friends Sunny and DJ. Sunny is a NashVegas southern bombshell, Buck a Limey Bastard, and DJ and myself are pasty white Canucks in needs of some rays.

    So the purpose trip to Sinful City was three-fold: 1) to initiate our pal DJ into the select group of devout worshippers of all things Vegas, and to deflower his Vegas Virginity in the most improper way; 2) for Sun and I, and the boys, to see our very fave band play, being Depeche Mode, in our very fave locale; 3) lastly, to congratulate hubby and I for enduring seven years of marriage!

    Thursday, April 27 – this day had 30 hours to it, I swear. Flew in connect from Denver, uneventful besides the turbulence over the Rockies where I thought we’d end up a part of the Hansa Project. The passengers into Vegas let out the biggest whoop I’ve ever heard when our wheels touched the ground. Myself, I climbed over heads to get to the bathroom – just don’t drink a 2L bottle of water with a small chaser bottle of Grey Goose for that short of a flight. Your bladder thanks you!

    In Vegas at 11pm. Wait for Sunny to get off her Southwest flight soon afterwards. Get a message on my cellphone from LasVegasLimoDriver letting us know that our chariot awaits. Once our group had found each other, we were out the side door to a super luxurious, white stretch beauty! LVLD – you Sir can drive me anywhere in future! Once hubby and I had rolled around on the white sofas and the gang took photos doing inappropriate things, we were off to the booze shop. It was the quickest shopping trip ever – we had amassed $100 worth of booze within two minutes. After settling a disagreement about needing a case of Red Bull, we were off up the Strip with a few bottles of champers. LVLD had some hip hop going full blast – not generally our type of tunes – but it suited the mood, so Sun and I did our best Lil’ Jon impressions and DJ gawked and enjoyed visualgams viewing the Strip. And that’s when the title of this Trip Report was uttered – and I choked on my champers. Oh boy, was he happy – so happy, that we drank two bottles of champers in 15 minutes flat and took the third one for the room.

    This is the second bottle of champagne, and both photog and sommelier insist that they were still sober at this point despite the blurry photo....

    [​IMG]

    DJ, Sun, SweetP and Buck were a bit disappointed that the limo wasn't longer, but the girth made up for it! :p

    [​IMG]

    LLVD dropped us off at our home away from home – THEhotel at the Mandalay Bay, and we rewarded him for his attentive and most excellent service. What was my first order of business? THEbog. With what was up with my bladder this trip, maybe I should have thrown some Depends in with the booze? Check-in line wasn’t long, but desk was understaffed so our group and the guy in front of me regretted giving all our booze to the bellman. I was cheeky enough to ask the boys to wait in line while Sun and I went to the corresponding lounge to down a martini.

    THEhotel was fully booked, but we managed a Strip view room, letting the gal know that it was our anniversary and we had a Virgin in our midst. We’d talked up our suite to DJ like it was the freakin Taj Mahal so we hoped he’d be suitably impressed. Like a first time tourist, DJ caught all those bugs and birds flying around the Luxor light in his agape mouth and then spent the next 10 minutes flashing his camera out the window while us girls freshened up.

    Out the door, straight in cab to the Double Down Saloon - screw the Strip! Lined up two rounds of “ass juiceâ€, downed the suckers and walked right out. Contemplated the GermanHausofDraftandPrezels, but didn’t feel up to the oomph-pa-pa, so we landed at the Hard Rock Centre Bar. Your usual gang of Girls and Boys Gone Wild, Ladies of the Night and the Men Who Can’t Afford Those Ladies. It was pushing 1:30 at that point and we were all in good shape. Sun and I were being wooed by a couple of MWCATL, and the boys just sat back and laughed, knowing at some point they’d be solely disappointed. I was given some rounds of shots of some kind, there was Red Bull involved and it was yummy. Our next trip involved a ride to the Peppermill, and it was nearing dawn. Where did the time go? I’m pretty sure I ate foodstuff with gravy all over it – too bad it wasn’t poutine, my usual hangover cure - I could have murdered some I’m sure. The guys kept getting up from the table, but Sun and I were too inebriated to care otherwise, just picking at our food. The one thing I do remember - and that I will never forget - is that there was a guy across from us in way worse shape. He was chowing on nachos with his boyz and then next thing you know…..in slow motion……his head went face first into those nachos! And didn’t move. His buddy tried in vain to get his head up, but he must really love those jalapenos. Our Peppermill waitress, a motherly type who called us all “dearâ€, didn’t even bat an eye. She asked Nacholover’s friend if he needed his check, never showing any concern. I’m sure she’s seen worse.
    The next morning I discovered that the boys were have simultaneous drinks in the lounge next door – they loved it that much, but knew we weren’t moving our asses from the booth, so had the best of both rooms.

    There's more to come, if y'all are interested.........
     
  2. VegasBlush

    VegasBlush Tourist

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2006
    Messages:
    16
    Location:
    Ohio.. so not Vegas!
    I thought we’d end up a part of the Hansa Project.
    ~Now that's funny!


    Sounds like a PERFECT trip.. I'd love to hear more!
     
  3. aggie182

    aggie182 Off Key and Out of Tune

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2005
    Messages:
    1,835
    Location:
    Missouri City, TX
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    69
    Sounds like fun, ready for more.
     
  4. Coaster Kikky

    Coaster Kikky Tourist

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2003
    Messages:
    11,494
    Location:
    Here
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    32
    Aren't you done yet?? We're waiting!!
     
  5. vegasdrea

    vegasdrea Buckle Bunny

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,209
    Location:
    UK
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    365
    ...more please... :D
     
  6. MikeE

    MikeE The Shah's Slightly Hairy Cousin

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2003
    Messages:
    1,596
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    888
    Sweet, so far you've got a hell of a TR. I was laughing the whole way. Need more!!
     
  7. SweetP

    SweetP Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2005
    Messages:
    141
    Location:
    Toronto
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    6
    Sorry folks for the delay - busy long weekend and I tend to write loads! I'll try and get the rest of it up this week.....

    Friday, April 28 – Was up at fresh at 10am. Those hangover pills I took did wonders – www.hangoverstopper.com. Didn’t want to waste the lovely day, so off to the pool. There was no shaded seats for whitey-boy DJ, so he decided on some breakfast at the poolside café. There was a Danish and some nacho chips that Sun and I nibbled on between dips in the various pools. Since my last visit in July I was really lovin’ the area this time around – no kiddies kicking me in the lazy river ride. Even in the hot tub - when a mother and her two tykes joined us and got a bit frisky - she apologized profusely. Imagine that? The weather that weekend was as gorgeous as Wentworth Miller, btw. Us ladies didn’t stay long, but hubby bobbed in the pool and DJ chilled, while we retreated to the room and got hypnotized by the Shark Reef channel and ready for the day.'

    DJ demonstrates how not to dress as a tourist in Vegas....

    [​IMG]

    Off to the Wynn buffet for lunch. Wynn was dead that day, for some reason. I must say I really appreciate the resort more - DJ was visibly impressed by the amount of photos taken - but I still love the Big B best. No line-up for the buffet, yahoo! Waltzed in and all agreed that it was worth the lunch price and more. Great seafood and sushi offerings, according to Sun and Buck (I’m allergic), I loved the Italian dishes, the Wynn Caesar salad and all the side dishes. The homemade gelato was heavenly, and they even had candy apples. Sun had never tried one, unbelievably! What, are they banned in Nashville? Well, Sun didn’t like it all that much, as she attempted to bite down. It was harder than Liz Taylor’s diamonds. You can see her frustration in the photo below as she demonstrates it’s all-consuming power…….Regardless, thumbs up from all for the Wynn buffet – nice décor, nice layout, great food. I prefer it to the Bellagio, actually.

    [​IMG]

    Afterwards DJ – who only brought boots for the trip – was complaining of sweaty socks, so we browsed for suitable footwear at the Fashion Show Mall. He bought faux goth wear in Hot Topic instead. It was 2pm at that point, and we all had only one drink so far so we had to remedy that. We walked over to TI, hoping to sit on the Tangerine patio, and have one of their delicious mojitos. Except that they’ve completely gutted their patio area, so we retreated, still horrified by that and the monstrosity that is the TI pirate ship. I remembered Isla and I safely assumed they’d whip us up some hard-ass drinks. They did, they were tasty, but we really wanted to be as happy as the group of soccer Moms who were crowded around one’s slot machine, squealing like the Progressive was going to reach out and suck one of them into the machine. And they were drinking Miller Lite!

    Tram to Mirage, quick glance, back to suite for a snooze. Decided a trip to Mix on the top of our hotel was necessary, in order to acquaint DJ with the best view in Vegas. It was lovely as usual except that Tiger Woods would only allow us one drink, that arrogant bastard. "We’re closing for a private party," the Manager says. Turns out his “Tiger Jam†charity tournament had taken over the whole hotel that weekend. I’m sorry Tiger but my liver needs booze more than those disadvantaged children need rich people’s help! Nonetheless, we got some great photos and relieved ourselves in the open concept bathrooms – sorry about my fanny, Mandalay Bay folk!

    [​IMG]

    We checked out Red Square, but people really like vodka so we instead got a bar table at RumJungle, and DJ drooled at the ridiculous rack of rum and……the waitress’ as well. DJ always joked about getting a gig in Vegas (he’s a DJ, thus the nickname), but retorted that he’s too ugly to work in this city. We were going to do the rum flights, but our drinks were more than enough. Tip – if you ever want to teeter on the edge of oblivion, try the Volcano. What juice? We were considering a drink somewhere else in MB, but why not save our cash and drink in our fabulous suite? That evening we had reservations at Commanders Palace, but we knew we weren’t going to haul up to the Planet Aladdin in time. So we cancelled, the first of two reservations this trip that we canned. We were too much into drink mode to consider sitting down for a fine and fancy meal, and it worked out better this way.

    In our suite the tunes were blaring, the drinks were stiff and the company entertaining. Later in the evening we were a bit peckish, so we decided to grab a burger at In N’ Out. We could see it from our window and the Double Double was beckoning us. It was just as yummy as I last remembered. However, when we arrived at the joint I wanted to go through drive thru with the cab on meter – hubby argued that it would be too expensive. I said fine – you try and get a cab afterwards then! Of course, after we had eaten there were no cab drivers to be found. Hail one off the street? Ha! We ended up waiting a half hour and walking over to the Hampton Inn, who called us a cab. You think after seven years hubby would still be repeating the mantra “The wife is always right!†;)

    Cabby was taking us to Casino Royale for some cheap gambling, when he went off about Canadian politics and harpin’ on Harper. Hey, I’m totally cool with that, but the guy wasn’t even a Canuck and I was mighty impressed with his knowledge of our parliament. Political discussion wasn’t at the forefront of our minds though. Sun and I sat down for some $2 roulette, cause we’re such hard core gamblers. In fact, the Casino Royale host offered us a free $1 margarita for our patronage, that’s how much high rollers we are! The bottom line is this – I can’t process math when I’m sober, let alone totaled, so how the hell can I play poker or blackjack in my state? The boys however sat down for some rounds of blackjack switch, which looked very fun. Unfortunately, us girls weren’t having fun at our table so we stood behind them and watched for a while. The boys were joined at the table by drunken frat boy, and his pal like us stayed behind to watch. Buddy took quite the liking to Sunny, and the girl doesn’t have the bugger off body language perfected, so she entertained him. The boys weren’t doing too badly, so I tried to give the wasted weirdo a look or two that basically said “Get lost in the desert please!â€, to no avail.

    At some point, another group of guys joined us, yet unlike the inebriated ignoramuses to our right they were very nice fellows. We chatted for a while, the boys kept playing and all was well. So we thought. The totaled twat next to Sun seemed to take offense to any guy speaking to her. I think in his drunken haze he was so pleased that any gal would converse with him, and thought the next step for them must be a trip to The Little White Chapel. The hell?! As the two groups of posturing guys were each white and black, the racial slurs started travelling. And that’s when I uttered to myself “Oh ****!†This would not turn out well, and there’s Sun in the middle of it all. I had to defuse the situation as she wasn’t of any help. I yelped “She’s miiiiiiiiine!,†grabbing Sun’s hand and pulling her away to the front of the casino. The boys were cashing out at that point and told us that it had gotten physical shortly after we left, but we didn’t stick around. They joined us and we continued southwards down the Strip.

    We picked up some booze along the way, the boys being thrilled with the 2/3 pints of Guinness at O’Sheas for only $2.50. I really don’t remember much, other than walking in and out of a few places and ending up at a very busy Margaritaville. Hubby had to lead me out of there, as when I grabbed a few Red Bull margaritas the bartender told me he had a present for me – it was a penny. He was trying to be very unfunny so I whipped it back at his head, thus my hubby leading me to the exit before someone else did. We drank, we walked more and hit the sack I think around 4am.
     
  8. evesixer

    evesixer Guest

    Please continue, this is hilarious!
     
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