# 1 "Squish" ? I'm at Sahara ( yrs ago ) and I just got to my room from walking The Strip + it was hot. I get my swim trunks on + head to the nice refreshing pool. I can't wait ! The pool is crowded ( Sat afternoon ). I throw my towel + jump in. Upon hitting the water.......there's no "splash".....just a kinda "squish" ? I burst up from underwater...... and I'm covered in a layer of tanning butter ! I stand there for a moment........then, delicately remove myself from the pool. Immediately, head up to my room + shower with my suit on. Yiiiick ! * # 2 "The Greatest Wipeout" I saw an adult running back + forth from the pool, to a cabana full of friends. Everyone's drinking, of course. The last run for this poor sap was painful ! He's sprinting to the cabana dripping wet -- as he arrives at the cabana - he puts on the brakes in wet bare feet /on wet cement. The guy gets "air" !........airborne !............a good 3 or 4 feet in the air - parallel to the cement. He lands right in the middle of his circle of friends.......amongst a crowd of gasps + "ooooh's". I could hear the "THUD" from across the pool !.....this dull, loud, THUD !!!! He was lucky........he landed on his side and not on his back ( or back of the head ). He didn't run anymore after that...........wow ! did that hurt !....but when you're drunk ? * # 3 " The Enthusiastic Clark Griswold " I'm walking out to The Strat pool w/ my wife. From right behind us - this "20 something" yells "Vegas ! VEGAS ! VEGAS !" I laugh.......I like his enthusiasm. He is drinking w/ friends. I sit with my wife for a while + I hear some yelling.between 2 people. I grab my camera, tell my wife "I think there's a fight " and head directly for the trouble. It's Clark Griswold + his buddy ----- is yelling at him. "You suck ! You don't know how to play pool volleyball !" As Clark is unravelling the volleyball from the net - His buddy yells again. "You suck ! What are you doing !?" Clark says "I'm not playing volleyball.....I'm networking." ( I thought that was clever...and funny.) Clark is drunk and a "cougar" has been "hitting" on him. She asks him "Hey,honey....what ya drinkin' ?" He looks at her......looks down into his half empty cup in his hand....looks back at her... and says "I don't know ?" I'm hysterical. . Next day Walking out to the pool.........looking around I say to my wife "Hey, Clark Griswold isn't here ?" Right behind me --- "Vegas ! Vegas ! VEGAS !" My wife + I break up laughing ! * * * Your turn !