1. Welcome to VegasMessageBoard
    It appears you are visiting our community as a guest.
    In order to view full-size images, participate in discussions, vote in polls, etc, you will need to Log in or Register.

Funny Vegas Pool Stories

Discussion in 'Misc. Vegas Chat' started by Joe Strummer, Jun 7, 2016.

  1. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    3,149
    # 1
    "Squish" ?
    I'm at Sahara ( yrs ago ) and I just got to my room from
    walking The Strip + it was hot.
    I get my swim trunks on + head to the nice refreshing pool.
    I can't wait !
    The pool is crowded ( Sat afternoon ).
    I throw my towel + jump in.
    Upon hitting the water.......there's no "splash".....just a kinda "squish" ?
    I burst up from underwater......
    and I'm covered in a layer of tanning butter !
    I stand there for a moment........then, delicately remove myself from the pool.
    Immediately, head up to my room + shower with my suit on.
    Yiiiick !
    *
    # 2
    "The Greatest Wipeout"
    I saw an adult running back + forth from the pool, to a cabana full of friends.
    Everyone's drinking, of course.
    The last run for this poor sap was painful !
    He's sprinting to the cabana dripping wet -- as he arrives at the cabana -
    he puts on the brakes in wet bare feet /on wet cement.
    The guy gets "air" !........airborne !............a good 3 or 4 feet in the air - parallel to the cement.
    He lands right in the middle of his circle of friends.......amongst a crowd of gasps + "ooooh's".
    I could hear the "THUD" from across the pool !.....this dull, loud, THUD !!!!
    He was lucky........he landed on his side and not on his back ( or back of the head ).
    He didn't run anymore after that...........wow ! did that hurt !....but when you're drunk ?
    *
    # 3
    " The Enthusiastic Clark Griswold "
    I'm walking out to The Strat pool w/ my wife.
    From right behind us - this "20 something" yells "Vegas ! VEGAS ! VEGAS !"
    I laugh.......I like his enthusiasm.
    He is drinking w/ friends.
    I sit with my wife for a while + I hear some yelling.between 2 people.
    I grab my camera, tell my wife "I think there's a fight " and head directly for the trouble.
    It's Clark Griswold + his buddy ----- is yelling at him.
    "You suck ! You don't know how to play pool volleyball !"
    As Clark is unravelling the volleyball from the net -
    His buddy yells again.
    "You suck ! What are you doing !?"
    Clark says "I'm not playing volleyball.....I'm networking."
    ( I thought that was clever...and funny.)
    Clark is drunk and a "cougar" has been "hitting" on him.
    She asks him "Hey,honey....what ya drinkin' ?"
    He looks at her......looks down into his half empty cup in his hand....looks back at her...
    and says "I don't know ?"
    I'm hysterical.
    .
    Next day
    Walking out to the pool.........looking around
    I say to my wife "Hey, Clark Griswold isn't here ?"
    Right behind me --- "Vegas ! Vegas ! VEGAS !"
    My wife + I break up laughing !
    *
    *
    *
    Your turn !
     
  2. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2013
    Messages:
    2,909
    Location:
    Southern Maryland by way of Philadelphia
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    15
    I guess there is a shortage of funny pool stuff. The funniest thing I ever see are the gaggles of 20 somethings who stand in the pool drinking bucket upon bucket of beer and never leaving that one spot.

    I also think it's funny that the entrance fee at a topless pool is called a "Creep Tax". Sometimes a guy just wants to see some tits.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. BlacklabberMike

    BlacklabberMike VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,344
    Location:
    Where's Ware?
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    25

    I want this pool cleaned.sanitized, and disinfected"-Judge Smails

    more gross than funny... we went to one of the little hot tubs at the rio pool and saw a bikini top, a pair on mens underwear and some floaters in the water.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 8, 2016
  4. Fafa2e

    Fafa2e Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2011
    Messages:
    361
    Location:
    Florida
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    40
    I'm sure I'm not alone in this one, but I've suffered the death ray purple sunburn. My buddy and I go to the pool at Luxor. We were drunk and oblivious to the intensity of the sun reflecting off the pyramid onto our pale unprotected skin. We only planned to be there for about an hour, but three hours later we return to the room only to realize we were beyond sunburned. My skin wasn't red it was closer to purple. The next day we played golf in 100 degree heat, which was painful with the third degree sunburn.

    Also had a friend suffer from a slip and fall at the BARE pool at the Mirage. She was lucky not to get seriously injured, but even luckier that she had her top on when she fell, as she was topless a few minutes before the fall. She was embarrassed being sprawled out on the pool deck after the fall, but I'm sure she would have been humiliated had she still been topless.

    Not sure that these are really funny pool stories, more Vegas pool mishaps.
     
    Bonus Money to Burn
  5. DrLect

    DrLect Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2013
    Messages:
    160
    Location:
    The North Coast
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    29
    +1
     
    New Year's Eve Dinner
  6. SnakeDoctor

    SnakeDoctor Tourist

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2015
    Messages:
    80
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    35
    I don't visit the pools, but my friends do. I was told about a recent time when went to one of the pool parties that are super popular these days. I would always say, sun and extreme amounts of alcohol can't be a good idea. It's already sketchy at night. Sure enough, the first time they went, they said someone vomited in the pool. These pools are crowded like a dance floor. Apparently, whistles are blown to alert people I guess, and you just see people scatter like roaches. I wonder how they clean it.
     
  7. BlacklabberMike

    BlacklabberMike VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,344
    Location:
    Where's Ware?
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    25
    think of the scene in Caddyshack.
     
  8. mdee

    mdee VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2010
    Messages:
    1,371
    Location:
    Orlando
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    28
    As in Glass Bottles? In the Pool? Geez, I hope not!
    Is that even allowed these days? Scary thought!
     
  9. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    3,149
    If you smell chlorine at a pool ?
    It means the pool is unclean.
    *
    I had to research this fact -- cos I didn't believe it.
    Sure enough........it's true.
    And use the shower before entering a pool.
    .
    The buckets of beer would be plastic containers.
    *
    "Don't pee in the pool.....red dye will appear."
    ( Can you imagine this ? at a Pool Party. )
     
  10. bshowell

    bshowell VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,226
    Location:
    DMV
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    11
    The bottles I've had have all been the aluminum bottles. Not sure if it's the same everywhere. Now I'm thinking of all the terrible things that could happen w/glass bottles...
     
  11. BlacklabberMike

    BlacklabberMike VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,344
    Location:
    Where's Ware?
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    25
    give them a methylene blue pill and tell them it's viagra.... you'll know if they pee in the pool
     
  12. Joe Strummer

    Joe Strummer VIP Whale

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    3,149
    I guess the aluminum would chill better than plastic ?
    But do they sell aluminum at ballgames ?...or still, plastic ?
    Aluminum might hurt more when thrown.
     
  13. Ty

    Ty ?

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2013
    Messages:
    2,385
    Location:
    Mid Ga
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    22
    At the Atlanta Braves games the guys selling beer in the stands have aluminum tall cans but they pour it in a plastic cup and keep the can.
    Al-u-min-um says my co-worker.
     
    Christmas Trip. Sam's Town & MSS
  14. Breeze147

    Breeze147 Button Man

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2013
    Messages:
    2,909
    Location:
    Southern Maryland by way of Philadelphia
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    15
    Aluminum bottles or cans.
     
  15. andyg99

    andyg99 Low-Roller

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2014
    Messages:
    289
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    27
    I got comped for the "VIP Pool" at Luxor one trip... cool! I won't have to fight to get a decent chair with the rest of the 'riff raff" - about 30 minutes of basically having an entire pool to myself I missed my riff raff (after all I'm one of them!) and went to the REAL pool with the rest of the folks!
     
    Luxor Trip #12, Vegas Trip #28!
  16. jcombs

    jcombs Tourist

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2014
    Messages:
    59
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    6
    We were at the Flamingo 2 years ago, and were doing some people watching. There was a totally bro-tastic dude who was trying to grind up on any girls in the pool, and he finally got one. Older, but not too terribly hard on the eyes. a few drinks later, they're in the corner of the pool about 15 feet away from us trying to be discrete, but utterly failing at doing the nasty in the pool (we were on a daybed at this point, thankfully). A few minutes after we noticed what was going on, a 20-something came down to the pools edge and yelled "Stop f*&cking skeezy strangers, and get out of the pool, mom...we're going to dinner at Chili's"

    Between the sheer hilarity of the conversation, and the fact the Jersey shore guy got blue balled by the daughter, our group of 6 just lost it.
     
    "$200 flight and a free room" trip
    • Funny Funny x 4
  17. mavrik55

    mavrik55 Tourist

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2014
    Messages:
    40
    Location:
    Canada
    Trips to Las Vegas:
    7
    OMG! That's hilarious :haha::haha: