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Funny Pit Boss quotes . . .

Discussion in 'Misc. Vegas Chat' started by DonD, Sep 21, 2012.

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  1. DonD

    DonD Super Moderator

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    Here's a couple that I like:

    Player asks dealer to stop and shuffle the cards mid deck
    Dealer refuses

    Player calls Pit Boss over and says
    Can't I ask for a reshuffle any time I want?

    Pit Boss says
    You sure can

    Player looks at dealer with a big smirk on his face

    After a few seconds the Pit Boss adds
    You can ask but we're not going to do it

    ===============================

    Pit boss says
    We build hotels and casinos with money from people that are trying to get something for nothing.
     
  2. blackjacknut

    blackjacknut VIP Whale

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    I'm sitting in the HL room at Monte Carlo playing between $100 and $200 a hand and I asked the Pit Boss what he had me rated at after about 2 hours.....he said "five dollars a hand"...I must have had this dumb founded look on my face because he busted out laughing. :thumbsup:
     
  3. Tree DA

    Tree DA High-Roller

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    My buddy was bitching and moaning about not being able to win a hand at blackjack. He gets an 18 and loses to a dealer 20. My buddy says 'Jeez, even when I get a good hand I can't win'. Little asian dude pit boss says 'tee hee, he think 18 good hand.'
     
  4. shifter

    shifter Degenerate Gambler

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    You'll always get that if you ask mid session like that. They don't calculate your average until the end and it will just piss them off if you ask while you're still playing.
     
  5. mike_m235

    mike_m235 Tourist

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    Not as much in the MC high limit room. Often you're alone in there with just the two tables, two dealers, and the pit boss. I've had long conversations with the guy, just because he was bored.
     
  6. ssyx

    ssyx Low-Roller

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    Not a pitboss quote but a dealer.
    Loudmouth regular female BJ player at casino I worked at is getting destroyed by the dealer when the shoe ends she says "Jesus, I've never seen so many combinations of 21" Dealer: "I'll show you a few more if you like"... Lady wasn't impressed lol
     
  7. Jjhill5

    Jjhill5 Newbie

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    Not a Pit boss but a BJ dealer.

    Guy asked if he should split his 20 (QQ), female dealer said "if you have a 20 inch D***, would you cut it in half"
     
  8. Jjhill5

    Jjhill5 Newbie

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    Craps box man, I have heard this many times but I still think it is funny.

    Guy throws out $10 and says Ten Dollar Coming, dealer says thats cheap!
     
  9. mike_m235

    mike_m235 Tourist

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    Boxman this past trip -- we're at a craps table and at one end there happen to be four of us who don't have much hair. Boxman says 'what is this -- looks like we have a hair club for men convention going on.'

    Okay, you had to be there.
     
  10. AGoalStopper007

    AGoalStopper007 Tourist

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    A buddy and I are playing craps. Another buddy of ours walks over to see how were doing. Box man ask if he wants to play. My buddy says "I don't know how to play."

    Box man replies, "What's to know? You put 5 bucks down, you roll the dice, we take your money. It's a simple game"

    I start busting up laughing.
     
  11. mjamesp

    mjamesp High-Roller

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    A few years back when it was still Binion's Horseshoe at a craps table the following conversation takes place.

    My wife, who gives herself a $20/day gambling budget excitedly tells a Black dealer as she's getting her chips colored up, "I've never had a Black before".

    The dealer chuckles, looks at his watch and tells her "we can take care of that in about 15 minutes".
     
  12. jrinct1

    jrinct1 VIP Whale

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    The dealers at the Horseshoe were are great and wickedly sarcastic. Keep on with the quotes......
     
  13. nostresshere

    nostresshere Mr. Anti Debit Card

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    Love it, love it.

    (moral of the story: If you got something good, don't mess with it)
     
  14. Iamrice

    Iamrice High-Roller

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    Last March I bought in at Bally's and while the Pit Boss was trying to hand my card back the drunk 22 year old standing next to me was in the middle of a drunken stream of babble that was going nowhere.

    After a couple more minutes the PB walked around the table handed me my card and said "Welcome to my life during spring break". Then he patted me on the back and wished me luck.
     
  15. john meriman

    john meriman merri by name merry by nature

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    classic-:wink2::beer::beer:
     
  16. ardee

    ardee VIP Whale

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    A BJ dealer at Bill's who was asking everybody if it was their first time in Vegas to kill time during the shuffle. As she went around the table, everybody said it was their first trip. Just before she gets to me, the pit boss looks over, sees me, gives me a big "Howdy!" and comes over to shake my hand and tell me that he remembered me from a casino he used to work at and I used to frequent several years before. The dealer just stopped for a bit, gave me a look, and "New in town, new in town, new in town, new in town, knows my pit boss by name. That's a nice balance."

    We all cracked up.

    (It really isn't as bad as it seems. I wear quite distinctive shirts and shave my head. I tend to stand out in a crowd.)
     
  17. Smo

    Smo Mr. Las Vegas

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    Was playing $5 BJ at Trashy Castle during it's grand opening in 1990, I had been counting cards for 5 years now and was quite good at it. Bought in with $40 and was up to about $250 or so after just more than an hour of play.
    The Pit Critter came over and started some mild conversation, then he asks, "Are you hungry?"
    I said "yes" and he reached in his pocket, scribbled something down and handed me a piece of paper. It was for $20 or $25(I can't remember it was so long ago) F&B at any restaurant in Excalibur.
    I took it and said thank you; then continued my winning streak at the table.

    The Pit Critter leans over to me and says, "I just comped you off my table I thought you were hungry!"

    My reply: "I'm not really that hungry, just yet!"

    His response: " I want you off my table........NOW!" :grrr:

    That was my first experience with casino comps. Oh, and I left in a big hurry.
     
  18. Big Tip

    Big Tip VIP Whale

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    I have three right off the top of my head.

    Just chatting with the pit boss as I am playing blackjack. I said, "Geez, I think I am coming to Vegas too much because I recognize all these dealers."
    Boss comes right back, "No, you are coming to Vegas too much when all the dealers recognize you!"

    I was messing with the blackjack dealer, joking around, and got "offended" by something she said. I leaned over to the pit boss, who had been watching our banter, and said, "I need to lodge a complaint about this dealer." He got a cocktail napkin and tore off about a thumbnail sized piece. "Here's our complaint form. Make sure you fill it out completely."

    Five of my golf group were at a blackjack table, way drunk. The pit boss came over and said, "This table is cut off." The guy at first base said, "But I'm not with these guys!" Pit boss says, "Sorry bud, you're just collateral damage."
     
  19. mongo380

    mongo380 Tourist

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    Playing craps at Planet Hollywood one late night a guy walks up to the table prior to the come out roll and says "I want to learn how to play this game." Boxman tells him to lay his money down on the felt, so he pulls a handful of singles out and drops em on the felt. Boxman replies jokingly "need some more", so the guy grabs a few more singles out of his other pocket and drops them. "Still not enough" so his buddy reaches into his pocket and throws a few more for like a total of 9 I think. The guy says "ok so how do I play?" Boxman takes the cash and pushes it into the slot and says "that's it, you give me the money and I put it in the hole...thats the game. Eveyone got a good laugh out of it including the player. So the stick man slides him the dice and tells him to throw them down the table toward the opposite wall. So the guy shakes up the dice in both hands....the stick man balks and tells him to use one hand only. The guy takes one die and over hand throws it down the table and it bounces off the table. So the boxman says "use the motion like you use in the shower". So the guy says "Oh, use my wankin hand!" Everyone erupts in laughter. He tries again with said motion and he threw craps and walked away a loser, but I think he had a good time. For the rest of the night the "wankin hand" was the inside joke at the table. I never laughed so hard In a casino and I think the player and his friend got a good laugh out of it too!
     
  20. 4Vegas

    4Vegas Low-Roller

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    LOL!!!!!!:haha::haha::haha::haha:
     
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