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Funhouser's Love, Third base, BJ, and VD Trip Report 2/12 - 2/17/2015

Discussion in 'Vegas Trip Reports' started by Funkhouser, Jan 26, 2015.

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  1. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    My Trip Report

    Well Savy and UnSavy Gamblers / Vegas Aficionados,
    The time is ripe for another foray into the desert to find love, food, drink and good gaming.

    This trip is approaching faster than a breeze can generate a Kate Upton wardrobe malfunction.

    kate-hudson-up-skirt-photos2.jpg

    As the TR name suggests this is a romantic getaway to the gaming Oasis that is Las Vegas with Mrs Funkhouser
    who BTW will be making her Virgin BJ / Craps debut this trip. I have exactly 17 days from today to teach her
    the basics of Blackjack and Craps beyond what she picked up on the Travel Channel from Samantha Brown.



    We are double booked this trip at Ballys for 4 nights and 2 overlapping nites at Cosmo on a Free Play offer.
    Plan is to hit 3 shows this trip, Beatles Love, Zummanity, and Absinthe, Couples Massage at Qua
    and dinner reservations at Yellowtail, Giada's, and Aureole. Additionally thanks to MyVegas we have
    passes to the Foundation Room and $50 bar credit at NYNY. We plan to hit a couple lounges over the weekend including the Linq, Cromwell, and Indigo.

    The gambling portion of this trip (mostly me) is 3K which I plan to carve up $500 for some HL limit slot play
    at Cosmo, 1K for $1 VP DDB / Boner Deluxe, 1K for Blackjack $25, $500 to see what Mrs Funk can deliver with
    her Virgin play (she's pretty much a non gambler).


    There's a greater than 69% chance of Mrs Funk Sexy Bull Riding since she was almost drunk enough during our last trip.

    [YOUTUBE]K0fAkQwkatU[/YOUTUBE]

    Lastly there is less than a 50% chance of a VooDoo zipline experience depending on booze consumption.

    [YOUTUBE]ga_iiRCrFrA[/YOUTUBE]

    All big wins, Sgt Jenkins sightings, and on strip arrests will be fully documented in this TR, along with Savy Gambling for those who appreciate.

    [video=youtube;gU6srWXxTww]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU6srWXxTww[/video]

    Funkhouser out...
     
  2. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    Well work has already managed to get in the way of my trip, delaying departure to the wee morning hours of Friday the 13th. Lucky I'm not a superstitious man.
    Thanks to MyVegas we changed up some of our show plans and added 2 free premium KA tickets to the trip in place of Love. We are skipping Absinthe as well since I am not
    sure PP is appearing. Got lucky with a trip to Horseshat Cincy the other day hitting a $1350 HP on $5 triple cash slot.

    Still looking around for some lounge ideas.
     
  3. Royal Flusher

    Royal Flusher Savvy Gambler

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    This is going to be great!

    Good luck Funk, and Mrs. Virgin Craps Funk!
     
  4. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    Thanks, I feel bad for not posting any pre-trip info / rituals but work has been sticking it to me in an unpleasant way.
    At least I had the pleasure of avoiding a NYC trip this week and telling a project manager that his last minute deliverable was not my
    problem and I will be OOTO for 5 days.

    One item of interest I did not post is that the "Cupids Undie Run" is going on downtown during my trip. I ponder for a few seconds about making the run
    in my skivies behind some Buxom drunk coeds, but deceided no LV residents want to see my fat 230lb pale white belly bouncing down Fremont street.

    However I will be taking lots of pics and video since wife will be in the Spa while I am downtown.

    You can see some undie run highlights in the below video.

    [video=youtube;_XeXYihBVFs]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XeXYihBVFs[/video]
     
  5. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    Well, Sorry for the silent thread. Had problems with my phone and data coverage in Las Vegas, so this will be a post trip recap, instead of a live report.
    This trip was pretty brutal from a gambling perspective, I took a real beat down the first two days, but was able to claw back from some of my trip losses on the third day.

    Lots of pictures to post, and a quick recap on the state of Bally's Jubilee Tower rooms, my opinions on Cromwell, and show reviews.

    I should get my first installment up tonight.
     
  6. breanna61

    breanna61 Super Moderator

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    Will move to TR for you once posted.
     
  7. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    Well I am back from 5 warm days in sunny Las Vegas. Mrs. F and myself just got out of town in time, before an arctic blast hit the Midwest and winter storm Octavia messed
    with flights across the Midwest and Mid-Atlantic. Our departure was delayed by 24 hours due to work commitments, but we were able to move our flight from Columbus to Louisville,
    and were aboard a 6am flight to Las Vegas.

    Lucky for us SWA prides itself on early arrivals and faster than Vanilla Ice can loot a house, we were at the diamond check in area of Ballys at 8:30am EST Las Vegas time.
    The kind folks at the VIP desk placed us in a Jubilee King room on 71st floor (21st floor in real world) with a great south facing view.

    iphone6 816.jpg

    The room had a slight musty smell to it but not so overpowering that it would cause you to want to move. It had just the right amount of cleanser and Vegas filtrated air.
    The room looked, like most CET remodeled rooms look a year later. Slightly worn, with the draw guides on the cheap furniture shot, so that the drawers would not stay fully closed.
    In some cases the dresser would slide open a few inches. A real hazard if you bumped into it from a drunken late night haze. Some of the walls showed mild scuffs, and the fancy
    60's mod light fixture was predominately sagging above the work area desk like a drunk Don Draper, likely to crash onto someones laptop during the next bumping it receives.

    We also found out Paris had upgraded the nightlife offering at Sugar Factory to drum up more business. I was made aware of this from the loud thumping bass that lasted until 4am
    coming from both Chateau nightclub and Sugar Factory patio. A word to the wise, now that Drai's roof top club is open and Paris is notching up the nightlife, there is no rooms
    on high floors in Jubilee tower that are safe from late night noise.

    After quickly shedding ourselves of personal trappings, we high tailed it over to Paradise Buffet at Flamingo for some Friday morning mimosas and breakfast by the flamingos.
    The FLV started their floor remodel and had replaced most of the carpet on the front casino floor. They also changed the traffic patterns to make it much easier to get across that area
    to the back area / sports book. Unfortunately the party pity and dancers were gone, to be replaced with sexy dealers in a new party pit area in front of Carlos N Charlies.

    Breakfast and drinks were good although a bit average tasting. After lubricating the joints with a few glasses of Mimosas I was ready to kick the tires and start off with my .25 VP at Osheas.
    Wife headed down the Linq promenade while I saddled up at the first bartop VP machine slipped in $40 and caught a quick 4 of a kind on JOB. Things then turned sour fast, and I burned through
    half my credits before a couple of full houses and flushes brought me even to cash out.

    iphone6 865.jpg

    We walked back through Cromwell, where I decided to try a few spins of roulette which I called the David Copperfield experience. That's where my $200 dollars spread across half the board
    managed to disappear like a David Copperfield illusion during 10 consecutive spins. This included black/red outside bets, odd / even, straight up, splits, etc. 10 [email protected] losing spins in a row
    with well covered bets inside and out. Little did I know that this was the tip of the iceberg in a 48 hour period of mass losing spread across 4 casinos. A side note here, even though I lost quickly, I really
    like the atmosphere of this place. No cig smoke, floors and casino decor looked great, staff was SUPER friendly, and drink service was good.

    We headed back to Ballys where most of the afternoon was spent playing losing VP sessions on both the progressive and non progressive banks. Another $300 evaporated over 90 minutes with a
    draught of any 4OAK, Full Houses, Flushes, and very few TOAK. In fact I also saw a lot of hands like these:

    nearmiss1.jpg

    nearmiss2.jpg

    Around 1pm I decided I had enough of a morning beating, and would stroll over to Mirage and pickup my MyVegas tickets for Zummanity and Ka. We also decided to grab seats for the Million Dollar Quartet show
    at Harrahs for Friday night. During the walk through the casino at Mirage I managed to dump another $200 at various penny slots with wife (Ellen, Jenga, Bridesmaids). We grabbed a quick bite over at Guy Fieri Vegas kitchen
    which had some pretty good food. We shared some Sashimi Won-Tacos, Asian Chicken Wraps, and Triple T Fries and had a couple of cocktails. I think we ran up an $80 tab, which seems a lot for drinks and apps but the service and food were excellent during my visit. I would definitely go back to this place.

    Up next....The Million Dollar debacle.
     
  8. wanker751

    wanker751 Dutch Rudder Enthusiast

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    Looking forward to the rest!
     
    Downtown - Wanker Returns after baby!
    Wanker Returns After Baby
  9. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    The Million Dollar debacle,

    So walking into Harrahs it was pretty evident the remodeling changes they had done in the past year. I liked the changes made to the casino floor. HL slot area had been moved over and grown, and it looked like some minor improvements over by the sport book. Fulton Street food court area looked really upscale (will review it later in my TR.). Cocktail service was faster than I remembered, I even managed to win back a quick hundy on a Top Dollar $1 denom slot machine waiting for the line to thin out at Total Rewards. We picked up our 2 Free show tickets for the 7pm show and headed up to the Harrahs Diamond lounge to see my old bartender buddy Robert.

    We found out that the bean counters at CET had loosened up the purse strings, and expanded the top shelf offering. While not on display in the Diamond lounge bar, we were able to order Grey Goose and Patron, which was a change
    over our visit last year. Also not sure if I have noted, the food offering at the Harrahs lounge is much better than the other properties. Over 3 visits here on my trip we consistently saw more cold veggies, better deserts, and a pretty good chicken casserole. While the food at Caesars Palace and Paris LV diamond lounge sucked.

    We spend far too much time drinking in the lounge and had to take the monorail back to Ballys to shower and get ready for show. At 5pm we were way to drunk this early in the day. I got ready first, since I knew the wife would need a good 60 minutes to get ready. Making sure to put on a splash of my PitBull Man Fragrance for the evening.

    iphone6 813.jpg

    I headed back down to the quarter progressive bank at Ballys near Nosh since the .25 bank was still up around $1100. The first hundred went quickly with no quads, full houses, or straights to be seen. It amazes me how quickly you can dump when not making those hands, or only getting trips ever 15 hands or so.

    I slid over to another VP machine, and finally on my second Hundy, I started to see a little love, picking up some straights and flush draws, and finally picking up a 4OAK on DDB.

    40ak5s.jpg

    After that hand, my luck changed again and my money was evaporating quickly. I decided to cut my losses at $150 and cashed out.
    Wife met me down at the elevator bank and we walked back over to Harrahs via Cromwell, but not before I lost another $50 on Roulette.

    We got to the Harrahs show room escalators, and you would think after 20 years CET could fix the traffic patterns to their showroom.
    The throngs of over 60 year olds attempting to navigate to the main show room, while another show was letting out was insane. Combine directional challenged adults with drunk 20's, add in a limited escalator bank, and
    throw in a bunch show photographers and you have the Million Dollar Debacle.

    Wife and I seeing the insanity, decided to wait at the bottom of the escalator bank for traffic pattern to clear. Entering the slow slightly late, we struggle to stay awake since it definitely catered to a older crowd. The final musical numbers were pretty good, and there were a few moments of laughs, but otherwise this show was a sleeper.

    iphone6 835.jpg


    I think the era of Broadway shows on the Vegas strip will be dead in the near future. We bum rushed the door knocking over a couple of old ladies but quickly getting down to the casino floor, and out the door towards the Linq.
    We took a stroll down the promenade and traffic seemed pretty good, with allot of the restaurants have a slight wait. We put our name on the list for OTS and strolled across the street to the Kitson for some light shopping, where I bought a golf buddy a copy of "Let's Draw a C*** on It" http://www.shopkitson.com/index.php?page=product&id=28315

    Late night dinner at OTS was good. I had the burger special for 10.00 which was an Angus burger with fries and wife had mussels. We both passed on drinks since we will still half in the bag from earlier.
    Check came out to $32.00 for an app and two entrees. Food was served quick and service was good.

    We wrapped up the night playing some double deck Blackjack at a $25 min table at Cromwell, where I quickly burned through another $200 getting dealt a lot of hard hands.
    All total the losses for the day were around $850.

    Up Next...I see london, I see france, I see runners in their underpants...
     
  10. chopper

    chopper Tourist

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    Waiting for the wife's virgin crap roll. I hope thousands were made. I love the virgin rollers that have no idea what they are doing while making point after point
     
  11. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    I promise the Virgin crap roll on Sunday night is worth hearing, including that I had the wife wear an outfit showing major clevage (she's a 38 C) to the table when rolling.
     
  12. Iamrice

    Iamrice High-Roller

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    Hey as long as we get undie run pics I'm fine!

     
  13. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    Wow, sorry guys. I got a really bad cold upon returning and it has been kicking my ass! Just broke the fever yesterday. Figures I have not been sick for 2 years, go to Vegas and come back with a cold.
    I probably won't put up any more of the installments till this weekend. In the interim as a tease, I will post two worthy photos to extend the anticipation.


    Teaser of the Undie Run on VDay.

    undierun.jpg


    The Sunday Comeback.....

    iphone6 864.jpg
     
  14. stickc

    stickc Tourist

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    how many short sticks did she get??!!!!:drunk:
     
  15. Funkhouser

    Funkhouser In Charge of the Big Door

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    Not as many as the dudes. The gamut of sexual orientation was well represented at the Undie Run.
     
  16. Tbone3336

    Tbone3336 VIP Whale

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    Awesome report so far Funk, looking forward to more installments and congrats on the Royal Flusher... :thumbsup:
     
  17. tringlomane

    tringlomane STP Addicted Beer Snob

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    Good start so far! And lucky you for being on the 71st floor! My report from the 60th floor will not be so pleasant.

    Hope you feel better soon!
     
  18. btodd

    btodd High-Roller

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    Great start. Looking forward to rest. Hope you feel better soon! I am fighting cold leaving for Vegas tomorrow..........go away cold!
     
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